Thai relationships

[Slipperyone]

My thoughts tell me if wrong . Have been in many relationships over past 9 years with Thai woman both in Thailand and my home country , not really a bargirl type although enjoy the scene . No relationship or Thai real even if the girls average or in her 40s with teenage children its about $$ their Thai family and how they appear on facebook . I am now 49 yrs its my belief that I shouldnt compromise or expect anything real go for the stunner enjoy and get out .  

Edited April 29, 2019 by Slipperyone

[BritManToo]

You should be dating women at least 20 years younger than yourself.

At 60+ I still want women in their 20s, no point in paying for a product I don't really want.

[Puchaiyank]

For many...if not most...it is all about the money...everyone may be in on the deal...the girl is expected to squeeze you regularly for baht...often she shares a fair amount with relatives...who keep in touch to stay in the money loop.

 

If you want to test your relationship...and her families...stop giving out baht...her phone will stop ringing...what is the point of calling if their is not going to be a baht distribution?  

 

The girl will either whine for awhile but continue to stay...or show her true colors and cut and run...

 

Either way, It's all good!   ????

[grollies]

51 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You should be dating women at least 20 years younger than yourself.

At 60+ I still want women in their 20s, no point in paying for a product I don't really want.

BS, my missus is +5 years on me, lived in the UK for 25 uears. Would I want to be hanging round a Thai woman 20-30 years younger than me? Er, no thanks.

[OneMoreFarang]

6 minutes ago, Puchaiyank said:

For many...if not most...it is all about the money...everyone may be in on the deal...the girl is expected to squeeze you regularly for baht...often she shares a fair amount with relatives...who keep in touch to stay in the money loop.

 

If you want to test your relationship...and her families...stop giving out baht...her phone will stop ringing...what is the point of calling if their is not going to be a baht distribution?  

 

The girl will either whine for awhile but continue to stay...or show her true colors and cut and run...

 

Either way, It's all good!   ????

No, don't stop giving it after a while.

Never start to give it!

Because once you start they (she, family, whoever) gets use to it and obviously it's a lot more difficult to tell people they won't get anymore what they had compared to not starting with this in the first place.

 

I give from time to time a little money to the family. Maybe for a new school uniform or something like this. But it doesn't happen so regular that they get used to it.

[richard_smith237]

15 minutes ago, grollies said:

BS, my missus is +5 years on me, lived in the UK for 25 uears. Would I want to be hanging round a Thai woman 20-30 years younger than me? Er, no thanks.

Thats my take on it too....  But there are far too many guys around who don't want anything in common with a woman, they don't want an equal female companion - they want someone they can can screw and kick out, they have to pay for this privilege, they'll never understand 'the other side' because they either never encountered it, or were so badly burnt they forgot it....   They do not realize that people are different and their failures and not the same as others, just as we (in happy relationships) should realize that people are all different and those guys paying for something are also happy, it's their choice... 

 

There is no one size fits all...  Its just amusing when one side thinks they are right and uses flawed argument to justify their sexual habits when no one else really cares !... 

 

This will shortly be proven with a couple of inexplicable and weird posts made by a couple of prolific and somewhat misogynistic posters who continually seem to feel the need to repeatedly justify their behavior....

 

 

Edited April 29, 2019 by richard_smith237

[BritManToo]

15 minutes ago, grollies said:

BS, my missus is +5 years on me, lived in the UK for 25 uears. Would I want to be hanging round a Thai woman 20-30 years younger than me? Er, no thanks.

Yes I fully believe you, around 50% of ThaiVISA posters appear to want mothers, and the other 50% want lovers. 

But the OP is talking about dating, so I assume he's looking for a lover.

Absolutely nothing wrong with missing your mom, and forming a platonic relationship with a suitable replacement, but it's not for me.

Edited April 29, 2019 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I give from time to time a little money to the family. Maybe for a new school uniform or something like this. But it doesn't happen so regular that they get used to it.

I always gave my MiL 3k/month to not live with us.

It was a very good investment IMHO, as my wife received no backup from her mother at any time during our relationship.

MiL was always 100% on my side in everything.

Edited April 29, 2019 by BritManToo

[grollies]

17 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Yes I fully believe you, around 50% of ThaiVISA posters appear to want mothers, and the other 50% want lovers. 

But the OP is talking about dating, so I assume he's looking for a lover.

Absolutely nothing wrong with missing your mom, and forming a platonic relationship with a suitable replacement, but it's not for me.

Yes, you seem to feel the need to want a girl around your granddaughter's age. I feel there is something wrong with that. What's up, you didn't like the stigma back in the good old UK?

Edited April 29, 2019 by grollies

[Puchaiyank]

6 minutes ago, grollies said:

Yes, you seem to feel the need to want a girl around your granddaughter's age. I feel there is something wrong with that. What's up, you didn't like the stigma back in the good old US?

It's not the stigma...it is the lack of available women who are not either morbidly obese or ugly...or both.

 

No available cute petite ladies over 30 in US...if a man is over 60...he is dead meat with most US ladies...

[OneMoreFarang]

19 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

But there are far too many guys around who don't want anything in common with a woman, they don't want an equal female companion

How much do you have in common with a Thai woman around your own age?

After two decades in Thailand I understand Thai a little more. But how much do I have in common with them? Not so much...

 

In my experience a relative young Thai girl (maybe 20) is like a happy kid who wants adventure, is happy about a new dress even if it was cheap, likes to go out and enjoy life, uncomplicated, ... It's fun. And that's the whole idea - at least for me.

[bert bloggs]

Been married to a normal Thai woman from a typical Thai family ,they are educated ,have never ever once asked for money ,my wife is 20 years younger than i am ,we have been together and married forwell over 20 years ,it is a normal marriage like i had with a British woman and a long term partnership with another British woman, ,my friends seem to be in the same sort of relationships.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 minute ago, bert bloggs said:

Been married to a normal Thai woman from a typical Thai family ,they are educated ,have never ever once asked for money ,my wife is 20 years younger than i am ,we have been together and married forwell over 20 years ,it is a normal marriage like i had with a British woman and a long term partnership with another British woman, ,my friends seem to be in the same sort of relationships.

Do you enjoy it?

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, bert bloggs said:

it is a normal marriage like i had with a British woman

Little or no sex then?

(Speaking from my experience of the normal marriage I had with a British woman)

I fancied a bit of a change my second time round, no point in repeating disaster number one.

Edited April 29, 2019 by BritManToo

[WalkingOrders]

Everywhere in the world with all women its about the money...unless... they are wealthy. Keep lots of baht in her wallet, and she will love you until you are dead or broke...what's the problem? 

[richard_smith237]

16 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How much do you have in common with a Thai woman around your own age?

After two decades in Thailand I understand Thai a little more. But how much do I have in common with them? Not so much...

 

In my experience a relative young Thai girl (maybe 20) is like a happy kid who wants adventure, is happy about a new dress even if it was cheap, likes to go out and enjoy life, uncomplicated, ... It's fun. And that's the whole idea - at least for me.

My Wife is my age (actually, 3 years younger than I)....  plenty of differences and plenty in common... just like any other normal and healthy relationship we'd see back in our home countries. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[White Christmas13]

1 hour ago, Puchaiyank said:

For many...if not most...it is all about the money...everyone may be in on the deal...the girl is expected to squeeze you regularly for baht...often she shares a fair amount with relatives...who keep in touch to stay in the money loop.

 

If you want to test your relationship...and her families...stop giving out baht...her phone will stop ringing...what is the point of calling if their is not going to be a baht distribution?  

 

The girl will either whine for awhile but continue to stay...or show her true colors and cut and run...

 

Either way, It's all good!   ????

I don't agree with you not every Thai women is after money, yes

many are I know that I have been married to a Thai for 15 years

unfortunately divorced now because of my own stupidity now

I am dating another Thai women she has her own business and

makes a good living and when I had money problems (I told her)

because we talked on camera every night she did send me money

she has just a daughter and a son they both make good money 

and yes they all live in Pattaya don't give me that crap every women

lives in Pattaya is a hooker she is to old for that and she only moved

to Pattaya a year ago

 

[geoffbezoz]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

You should be dating women at least 20 years younger than yourself.

At 60+ I still want women in their 20s, no point in paying for a product I don't really want.

I would say 20's are about right irrespective of your age.  A bit like a bottle of milk, look at the sell by date. Shelf life can vary. I can assure you having been married 5 times , 2 Brits, 1 French and 2 Thais it is always one thing that makes them tick. Doubt at my age there will be a number six but whilst number 5 remains on spec then guess there will not be a number six to find out what it is  ????

Edited April 29, 2019 by geoffbezoz

[Pharoticus]

21 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

My Wife is my age (actually, 3 years younger than I)....  plenty of differences and plenty in common... just like any other normal and healthy relationship we'd see back in our home countries. 

An age difference of 3 years is good. Your marriage sounds normal. Good for you. 

 

An age difference of 10 years can work in Thailand [been there, seen it, done it], but 15 years is pushing things [been there, seen it, done it].

 

Once you get to differences of 20 years or more you're just a sugar daddy [AKA: sap]. And it's only about $$$$$$

[Scott]

Troll posts reported and removed.

[GreasyFingers]

4 minutes ago, geoffbezoz said:

I would say 20's are about right irrespective of your age.  A bit like a bottle of milk, look at the sell by date. Shelf life can vary. I can assure you having been married 5 times , 2 Brits, 1 French and 2 Thais it is always one thing that makes them tick. Doubt at my age there will be a number six but whilst number 5 remains on spec then guess there will not be a number six to find out what it is  ????

You have outdone me as I am on number 4 and do not expect to catch up to you. But you are right about the age difference of 20 years not being a problem.

One of the charms of living in Thailand is that the values/ethics in a rural community is about about the same as when I grew up in my teens. There are bad women and very good women and if you know anything about life you can tell the difference (until they/we change).

 

[Kenny202]

I find the older I get the less I want a steady relationship with a woman, Thai or otherwise. I can cook and clean and take care of myself just fine. I have a 3yo son also. I actually find it easier just living my son and me. Dinners cooked and cleaned up in about 30 mins. (No oil etc splashed up the walls and all over the floor). Housework to a minimum as I just don't make to much mess. I don't throw clothes on the floor after wearing them for 10 minutes etc. I love the feeling of waking up in the morning and not needing to consider what someone wants to eat or what they want to do today. I just find myself compromising my own happiness to please someone else. I often chuckle to myself when I think of the poor guys who buy into their relationships with dowries and homes for everyone. Huge money. All in many cases to saddle yourself with a woman who is next to useless and needs everything...including transport and entertainment. The women here who say they want farang....most would not have a chance with a Thai bloke unless the woman was supporting them. I've lived here for 5 years and I don't think I know of one case where a Thai bloke has saddled himself with someone else's kid / kids, extended families or issues. Many of us end up with the rejects, why Thai people think farang are stupid. 

 

I have had many relationships here and mostly they fall into two categories. An educated girl who has a career or professional job. Usually works 10 - 12 hours a day and 6 days a week. Meetings on days off etc. Then she needs time with her girlfriends, family etc. Means much of the time you are sitting around twiddling your thumbs, when you can be out chasing new tail. The other type of girl is one who has no work, usually can't drive....sits around all day and you become her sole means of transport, entertainment...everything. People who have nothing need everything. Neither relationship really makes sense to me. It's not like it's hard to find a GF here. Sex is a huge thing for me and lets face it usually after the first 2 weeks to 3 months the thrill is gone. Most of us older blokes have been to the mountain and a girl has to be pretty special to keep my interest for long. 

 

I don't see anything wrong with people who want a relationship and see value in that. It's just not for me. There is just too much choice here to put up with a girl who is anything less than stellar and if it's a relationship where the ledger is not even or anywhere near in your favour, I just don't see the benefits 

 

   

[Khaeng Mak]

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

I find the older I get the less I want a steady relationship with a woman, Thai or otherwise. I can cook and clean and take care of myself just fine. I have a 3yo son also. I actually find it easier just living my son and me. Dinners cooked and cleaned up in about 30 mins. (No oil etc splashed up the walls and all over the floor). Housework to a minimum as I just don't make to much mess. I don't throw clothes on the floor after wearing them for 10 minutes etc. I love the feeling of waking up in the morning and not needing to consider what someone wants to eat or what they want to do today. I just find myself compromising my own happiness to please someone else. I often chuckle to myself when I think of the poor guys who buy into their relationships with dowries and homes for everyone. Huge money. All in many cases to saddle yourself with a woman who is next to useless and needs everything...including transport and entertainment. The women here who say they want farang....most would not have a chance with a Thai bloke unless the woman was supporting them. I've lived here for 5 years and I don't think I know of one case where a Thai bloke has saddled himself with someone else's kid / kids, extended families or issues. Many of us end up with the rejects, why Thai people think farang are stupid. 

 

I have had many relationships here and mostly they fall into two categories. An educated girl who has a career or professional job. Usually works 10 - 12 hours a day and 6 days a week. Meetings on days off etc. Then she needs time with her girlfriends, family etc. Means much of the time you are sitting around twiddling your thumbs, when you can be out chasing new tail. The other type of girl is one who has no work, usually can't drive....sits around all day and you become her sole means of transport, entertainment...everything. People who have nothing need everything. Neither relationship really makes sense to me. It's not like it's hard to find a GF here. Sex is a huge thing for me and lets face it usually after the first 2 weeks to 3 months the thrill is gone. Most of us older blokes have been to the mountain and a girl has to be pretty special to keep my interest for long. 

 

I don't see anything wrong with people who want a relationship and see value in that. It's just not for me. There is just too much choice here to put up with a girl who is anything less than stellar and if it's a relationship where the ledger is not even or anywhere near in your favour, I just don't see the benefits 

 

   

The situations you have described I like to refer to as structural issues.  You can try to render over them to hide them or make them more pleasing to the eye but sooner or later they will cause your house of cards to collapse.

 

One of my first relationships here in Thailand was with a beautiful and smart young lawyer.  She was from a dirt poor family and had put herself through Chula on a scholarship. There was a huge gap in our ages but we got along just fine and had lots of fun together.  The problem was that three years into the relationship she wanted to have kids.  And the thing is that she deserved to have kids.  She had worked hard to pull herself out of poverty, get educated and secure a good job. Problem was that I didn't want any.

 

That is what a structural relationship problem looks like.  No amount of talking, listening, or dancing around the issue will resolve it.

 

We broke up.  It was not easy for either of us.  And the saddest part to this story is that she is now in her mid thirties and still searching for a decent guy with whom she can start a family with.

[ben2talk]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

No, don't stop giving it after a while.

Never start to give it!

Because once you start they (she, family, whoever) gets use to it and obviously it's a lot more difficult to tell people they won't get anymore what they had compared to not starting with this in the first place.

 

I give from time to time a little money to the family. Maybe for a new school uniform or something like this. But it doesn't happen so regular that they get used to it.

Common sense. When I met my missus, redshirts were running riot and transport was mucked up. I spent several hours each day travelling across Bkk by bike to pick her up and ferry her from/to work and generally took care of her. She paid fuel and dinner. Now she pays the house and bought a car while I stay home and take care of my son.

[samsensam]

2 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

I find the older I get the less I want a steady relationship with a woman, Thai or otherwise. I can cook and clean and take care of myself just fine. I have a 3yo son also. I actually find it easier just living my son and me. Dinners cooked and cleaned up in about 30 mins. (No oil etc splashed up the walls and all over the floor). Housework to a minimum as I just don't make to much mess. I don't throw clothes on the floor after wearing them for 10 minutes etc. I love the feeling of waking up in the morning and not needing to consider what someone wants to eat or what they want to do today. I just find myself compromising my own happiness to please someone else. I often chuckle to myself when I think of the poor guys who buy into their relationships with dowries and homes for everyone. Huge money. All in many cases to saddle yourself with a woman who is next to useless and needs everything...including transport and entertainment. The women here who say they want farang....most would not have a chance with a Thai bloke unless the woman was supporting them. I've lived here for 5 years and I don't think I know of one case where a Thai bloke has saddled himself with someone else's kid / kids, extended families or issues. Many of us end up with the rejects, why Thai people think farang are stupid. 

 

I have had many relationships here and mostly they fall into two categories. An educated girl who has a career or professional job. Usually works 10 - 12 hours a day and 6 days a week. Meetings on days off etc. Then she needs time with her girlfriends, family etc. Means much of the time you are sitting around twiddling your thumbs, when you can be out chasing new tail. The other type of girl is one who has no work, usually can't drive....sits around all day and you become her sole means of transport, entertainment...everything. People who have nothing need everything. Neither relationship really makes sense to me. It's not like it's hard to find a GF here. Sex is a huge thing for me and lets face it usually after the first 2 weeks to 3 months the thrill is gone. Most of us older blokes have been to the mountain and a girl has to be pretty special to keep my interest for long.  

 

I don't see anything wrong with people who want a relationship and see value in that. It's just not for me. There is just too much choice here to put up with a girl who is anything less than stellar and if it's a relationship where the ledger is not even or anywhere near in your favour, I just don't see the benefits 

 

   

 

I have had many relationships here and mostly they fall into two categories. An educated girl who has a career or professional job. Usually works 10 - 12 hours a day and 6 days a week. Meetings on days off etc. Then she needs time with her girlfriends, family etc. Means much of the time you are sitting around twiddling your thumbs, when you can be out chasing new tail. The other type of girl is one who has no work, usually can't drive....sits around all day and you become her sole means of transport, entertainment...everything. People who have nothing need everything. Neither relationship really makes sense to me. It's not like it's hard to find a GF here. Sex is a huge thing for me and lets face it usually after the first 2 weeks to 3 months the thrill is gone. Most of us older blokes have been to the mountain and a girl has to be pretty special to keep my interest for long. 

 

agree. i have only experienced the former relationships, i have no time or bar/lazy girls, but you got it right, except to add that more often than not the girl starts to create problems where there are no problems - usually to check your reaction; big reaction you care about her, little reaction you dont care... or they get jealous. either way all the pleasure gets sucked out of the relationship and she ends up getting dumped - i used the three strikes with fair warning method. now i look for normal girls who just want some fun; suits both parties

[Kwasaki]

4 hours ago, grollies said:

BS, my missus is +5 years on me, lived in the UK for 25 uears. Would I want to be hanging round a Thai woman 20-30 years younger than me? Er, no thanks.

No man can live with the same woman for more than 20 years it just ain't natural. ????

[NanLaew]

5 hours ago, Slipperyone said:

Have been in many relationships over past 9 years with Thai woman both in Thailand and my home country , not really a bargirl type although enjoy the scene . ...

Why are you knobbing Thai totty in your home country then?

 

PS. "Because I can" isn't a valid answer.

Edited April 29, 2019 by NanLaew

[NanLaew]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Yes I fully believe you, around 50% of ThaiVISA posters appear to want mothers, and the other 50% want lovers. 

To me it's more like 50% of TV members appear to want mothers and the other 50% already are.

[NanLaew]

3 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

I find the older I get the less I want a steady relationship with a woman, Thai or otherwise. I can cook and clean and take care of myself just fine. I have a 3yo son also. I actually find it easier just living my son and me. Dinners cooked and cleaned up in about 30 mins. (No oil etc splashed up the walls and all over the floor). Housework to a minimum as I just don't make to much mess. I don't throw clothes on the floor after wearing them for 10 minutes etc. I love the feeling of waking up in the morning and not needing to consider what someone wants to eat or what they want to do today. I just find myself compromising my own happiness to please someone else. I often chuckle to myself when I think of the poor guys who buy into their relationships with dowries and homes for everyone. Huge money. All in many cases to saddle yourself with a woman who is next to useless and needs everything...including transport and entertainment. The women here who say they want farang....most would not have a chance with a Thai bloke unless the woman was supporting them. I've lived here for 5 years and I don't think I know of one case where a Thai bloke has saddled himself with someone else's kid / kids, extended families or issues. Many of us end up with the rejects, why Thai people think farang are stupid. 

 

I have had many relationships here and mostly they fall into two categories. An educated girl who has a career or professional job. Usually works 10 - 12 hours a day and 6 days a week. Meetings on days off etc. Then she needs time with her girlfriends, family etc. Means much of the time you are sitting around twiddling your thumbs, when you can be out chasing new tail. The other type of girl is one who has no work, usually can't drive....sits around all day and you become her sole means of transport, entertainment...everything. People who have nothing need everything. Neither relationship really makes sense to me. It's not like it's hard to find a GF here. Sex is a huge thing for me and lets face it usually after the first 2 weeks to 3 months the thrill is gone. Most of us older blokes have been to the mountain and a girl has to be pretty special to keep my interest for long. 

 

I don't see anything wrong with people who want a relationship and see value in that. It's just not for me. There is just too much choice here to put up with a girl who is anything less than stellar and if it's a relationship where the ledger is not even or anywhere near in your favour, I just don't see the benefits 

 

   

So you're (still) a monger then.

 

No big deal.

 

What does your lad do while you're out chasing tail?

[bert bloggs]

13 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Do you enjoy it?

love it more every day , we are friends and partners . mind you i feel its not worth posting any more ,there are so many losers on here that seem to not really like or trust Thai women ,why do they live or come here?

Edited April 30, 2019 by bert bloggs