Unwillingness / inability to talk things through

[malibukid]

3 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Thai women are like any other after you learn how to interact with them.  Like any person outside of our own small cultural background.  If one complains about Thai women what you are really saying I'm a failure at understanding people of this culture. 

not complaining, like i said i respect them as friends, but i am aware that they are not the best option in regards to an intimate relationship in my case.  i want feedback and honesty in a relationship.  the culture here does not enable this.  for me this is unhealthy.  i find it better just to keep to small talk with the Thai woman i know.  btw, i did Asian Studies at Uni.  

[andux]

Thai people don't really like conflict or debate, so it's really hard to have a mature, adult discussion with a Thai girl, especially if there are some disagreements. I know there are exceptions, but this is from my limited experience. I am fluent in Thai by the way, so language is not the issue.

 

They don't like it when you confront their beliefs, even if you are clearly right. If your girl believes the earth is flat and you show her proof that it's not, get ready for her going crazy, storming out and going totally berserk.

 

For us westerners it can be a weird feeling, but here it's better not to argue. Just nod along and fulfill your need for deep conversations or debates while out with your friends.

 

 
 

Edited May 31, 2019 by andux

[Mavideol]

most Asian women are like that, ignore and keep going.... expecting an apology from them? you better be kidding.... sorry!!!  it's not in their vocabulary

[zhounan]

22 hours ago, Fex Bluse said:

Very common Thai trait. Several reasons for this including,

 

Thais' low tolerance for and high avoidance of conflict,

 

Thai language being a fairly rudimentary one that lacks descriptive power and 

 

Thais tending to speak in terribly vague terms, leaving much of the meaning to be interpreted by the listener 

 

They are typically poor at expressing emotion. 

Yes, this happens withw my wife too.

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, Pilotman said:

Most posts here read as though they wouldn't know a good relationship if it hit them in the face.

To me a good relationship is when she's 20-30 years old and I can bang her whenever I feel like it.

No need for her to be my cook or maid or companion, I can manage those alone.

[GreasyFingers]

5 hours ago, Toscano said:

You have a Thai wife or girlfriend ? Join the Club my guess is they are all the same .

You have to understand that Falangs are Idiots who know nothing . 

Thais are always right so there is nothing to discuss and no arguments please .

A quick temper tantrum will ensure she gets her own way .

What you say in  the first 3 sentences seems to be true except the last sentence does not work at my home. Maybe I am lucky.

[Bangkok Barry]

1 hour ago, marcusarelus said:

My wife apologizes all the time.  My Thai doctor apologizes.  Lazada a Thai company apologizes and refunds my money all the time.  The delivery guys apologize all the time.  My Taxi driver apologizes whenever he is late.  The only people who never apologize in Thailand that I know are on Thai Visa and they never admit they are wrong.  The best you get is an insult or no answer at all.  

 

So many apologies to you. A pity they don't get things right the first time. Must be frustrating.

[Jingjock]

On ‎5‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 7:07 PM, marcusarelus said:

s because you don't speak Thai.

B/S they are only there for the money. If you not work that one out, think again

[kimmywest1568]

Sounds like my American husband of 24 years.

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, Bangkok Barry said:

 

So many apologies to you. A pity they don't get things right the first time. Must be frustrating.

It could be worse.  I could be living in a country that's taken, when did that Brexit thing start or how long and how much did that Mueller investigation take?  No one is right all the time.  Thais apologize just like anyone else.  My Thai dog too.  She gets this terrible guilty look on her face when she does something wrong.  You just want to hug her and say it's ok. 

[marcusarelus]

56 minutes ago, Jingjock said:

B/S they are only there for the money. If you not work that one out, think again

I've been in a number of relationships when I was young and handsome making movies and now old and decrepit and I've found it has always been about money.  Some play the long game and some the short game but if you want a relationship not involving money get a dog. 

[marcusarelus]

8 hours ago, Benroon said:

and in 80%+ cases she would be right 

 

I have seen enough thai girls walking around with 60 year old+ bald bloated westerners with out of control nasal hair and their soul has left their eyes.

 

In that position purely through accident of where they were born. 

 

I think there should be some kind of national rescue home for them

I always wondered why my wife who is 30 years younger than I married me.  Now I know. 

[Mac98]

It is common in USA. Women say men don't communicate, but in most arguments women lay out all their complaints, then when you open your mouth to respond they like to stalk out of the room and slam the door. I am not alone in experiencing this, I assure you.

Edited May 31, 2019 by Mac98
Spelling

[Captain 776]

Which Bar did u get her from?

 

This is NOT a trait of a non bar Thai but it outstandingly prevelant with bar girls.

 

I have been with my wife for over 12 yrs, we never have a cross word......because I am 66 and my wife is 60 not 20 like most farangs.

If your wife is less than 1/2 YOUR age and u got her from a bar you have a 99% chance of the problem you describe.

 

didnt you read the brochure on the plane?

Edited May 31, 2019 by Captain 776

[JDGRUEN]

,It seems to me a waste of time to talk, argue or anything else any furtherp.  I would take her attitude and actions as deeply wanting out of the relationship.. The only resolution she wants is a divorce and you gone.  You Insisting that you both talk it out - work it out is what is causing the next blow up.

She's finished - you're not.. You NOT seeing she is finished is the problem.

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, Captain 776 said:

Which Bar did u get her from?

 

This is NOT a trait of a non bar Thai but it outstandingly prevelant with bar girls.

 

I have been with my wife for over 12 yrs, we never have a cross word......because I am 66 and my wife is 60 not 20 like most farangs.

If your wife is less than 1/2 YOUR age and u got her from a bar you have a 99% chance of the problem you describe.

 

didnt you read the brochure on the plane?

I'm 75 and my wife is 45.  No problems.  You are wrong.  I think more jealousy than reason speaking.  I've always had a trophy wife and others have always been jealous.  This is my 4th one and I've learned how to handle them. 

[Fex Bluse]

14 hours ago, rumak said:

living with a thai woman and interacting with the general Thai population  are very different.  If you keep everything simple and just smile and ask what did you eat you will not have any problems with 99% of thais

(higher % than with farangs i think ????)

Living with a Thai or any woman is a different story.  One that is debated about endlessly 

 

I agree with this but only if you don't need to rely on them for anything important. 

 

If you are fairly wealthy and healthy it's easy to avoid important interactions. Then your interactions might be limited to food service and other lower level/transactional relationships which is ideal. 

 

Once you are forced into their world, though, good luck! 

[micmichd]

2 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

I'm 75 and my wife is 45.  No problems.  You are wrong.  I think more jealousy than reason speaking.  I've always had a trophy wife and others have always been jealous.  This is my 4th one and I've learned how to handle them. 

I never had 'trophy wives' in my life, just a lot of sexy girlfriends. But their husbands and other women got envious. I didn't care. 

I have my Thai gf here, but we managed to handle each other. Since I invested my money in my Thai family's life (and didn't forget about myself), they're improving financially, and

money is not a big issue anymore. 

[Graviton]

I wouldn't put up with it personally, I'd move on.???? life is too short.....

[Graviton]

4 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

I'm 75 and my wife is 45.  No problems.  You are wrong.  I think more jealousy than reason speaking.  I've always had a trophy wife and others have always been jealous.  This is my 4th one and I've learned how to handle them. 

4?

[rumak]

4 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

I've learned how to handle them. 

Same here.         No more swinging from the shower rod for me 

[RocketDog]

On 5/30/2019 at 8:07 PM, Elizway said:

So how exactly are conflicts resolved if you can't sit down and talk? 

At the risk of stating the obvious, not all conflicts can be resolved, especially personality conflicts. It is a pedant fantasy to believe otherwise.

 

Only traits like empathy and love can bridge such gaps, but the gaps don't magically disappear, they are just minimized.

 

If they are major and/or repetitive issues then separation may be in order.

 

That's why I got divorced years ago. Called 'irreconcilable' differences.

[marcusarelus]

3 hours ago, Fex Bluse said:

I agree with this but only if you don't need to rely on them for anything important. 

 

If you are fairly wealthy and healthy it's easy to avoid important interactions. Then your interactions might be limited to food service and other lower level/transactional relationships which is ideal. 

 

Once you are forced into their world, though, good luck! 

My Thai brain surgeon is a woman and is easy to talk to and explains everything in great detail.  I was dizzy a few weeks ago and she gave me all kinds of brain tests to determine the problem.  Now I'm much less dizzy.

[RocketDog]

5 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

I'm 75 and my wife is 45.  No problems.  You are wrong.  I think more jealousy than reason speaking.  I've always had a trophy wife and others have always been jealous.  This is my 4th one and I've learned how to handle them. 

If you call walking away when frustrated or impatient 'handling them' then you're well on your way to #5 I'll warrant. Good luck.

[marcusarelus]

2 minutes ago, RocketDog said:

If you call walking away when frustrated or impatient 'handling them' then you're well on your way to #5 I'll warrant. Good luck.

Who said I walked away when frustrated or impatient?  Why did you make that up? 

[RocketDog]

16 hours ago, BritManToo said:

To me a good relationship is when she's 20-30 years old and I can bang her whenever I feel like it.

No need for her to be my cook or maid or companion, I can manage those alone.

And not care if she's also banging whomever she wants. Two sides of the coin.

[marcusarelus]

6 minutes ago, RocketDog said:

And not care if she's also banging whomever she wants. Two sides of the coin.

You may be a bisexual voyeur and that would work great.  Before you judge walk a mile in his moccasins (American Indian expression).   

[utalkin2me]

Take your frustrations out in bed and everyone wins. Everything gets communicated with perfect clarity as well. 

[zyphodb]

On 5/31/2019 at 7:45 AM, BritManToo said:

Immediately agree to everything they say so no conflict ever arises.

But never actually get around to doing the things you didn't agree with.

The Thai way, summed up perfectly.....

[metempsychotic]

On 5/30/2019 at 9:01 PM, Fex Bluse said:

Very common Thai trait. Several reasons for this including,

 

Thais' low tolerance for and high avoidance of conflict,

 

Thai language being a fairly rudimentary one that lacks descriptive power and 

 

Thais tending to speak in terribly vague terms, leaving much of the meaning to be interpreted by the listener 

 

They are typically poor at expressing emotion. 

To dismiss Thai language as rudimentary and lacking descriptive power is nonsense. 

 

A couple who have no fluency  a  common language will have communication issues  no matter what proficiency each has in their native language. 

 

Low level Thai, like low level English or any other language you may choose may well be limited, but the words are there for those educated enough to know them.  Education for many is rudimentary may be a better way of putting it. 

 

Conflict avoidance and the resulting pent up anger are a very real thing, though and thiscultural difference causes alot of problems.