Who is wearing pants in your relationship/marriage?

[PingRoundTheWorld]

Interesting that so many men on here allow women to control them. Even more ridiculous considering in most cases of farang-Thai relationship the man has more money and more choice so there's really no reason to allow women to behave like 5 year olds and their tantrums.

 

Women by nature seek to control you, and will control you up to the degree you'll let them. If you don't let them they might throw tantrums and whine or even cry about it - but those are all simply her arsenal of weapons to control you.

 

I made the mistake of allowing my ex-gf to gain more control, and she took it to extreme coming over unannounced and even made a copy of my key without permission. I ended up dumping her, and now a few weeks later she has been reset and comes over only when allowed to, and I've now openly told her I am sleeping with other women. We'll see how this goes from here...

[colinneil]

28 minutes ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

Interesting that so many men on here allow women to control them. Even more ridiculous considering in most cases of farang-Thai relationship the man has more money and more choice so there's really no reason to allow women to behave like 5 year olds and their tantrums.

 

Women by nature seek to control you, and will control you up to the degree you'll let them. If you don't let them they might throw tantrums and whine or even cry about it - but those are all simply her arsenal of weapons to control you.

 

I made the mistake of allowing my ex-gf to gain more control, and she took it to extreme coming over unannounced and even made a copy of my key without permission. I ended up dumping her, and now a few weeks later she has been reset and comes over only when allowed to, and I've now openly told her I am sleeping with other women. We'll see how this goes from here...

You are very brave posting that, but be careful your partner might see it then... bye bye you.

Better hide the knives, before she gets ideas and chops off your member.

[geoffbezoz]

1 minute ago, colinneil said:

You are very brave posting that, but be careful your partner might see it then... bye bye you.

Better hide the knives, before she gets ideas and chops off your member.

Quack Quack, soon be feeding time

[OneMoreFarang]

The important part is that she wears G-strings and not much more.

[Destiny1990]

Think about it If land house and car are not in your name but you paid for these items then who is wearing the pants in your relationship?

You might be a less dominant person as what you believe you are.

[PingRoundTheWorld]

12 minutes ago, colinneil said:

You are very brave posting that, but be careful your partner might see it then... bye bye you.

Better hide the knives, before she gets ideas and chops off your member.

She has her own version of crazy, but she's not the type to pick up a knife. Otherwise I'd be dead meat already: she caught me bringing girls home 5 times over the last few months, the funniest of them was when I brought 3 at the same time - she didn't know if to laugh or be angry and went "what were you planning on doing with 3 girls?!".

 

We were apart for a few weeks, then when she wanted to get back together I told her I am willing to try an open relationship but I don't want to be tied down. She made her choice to stay. For now.

[richard_smith237]

Who wears the pants / trousers?

 

Both. Decisions are made in conference, or if we are not both together decisions are made which would suit us both. 

 

i.e. where we go on holiday, which car we chose, where to live (we’re in the process of moving), where my son attends school, what after school activities he does etc are decisions we take together. 

 

Smaller decisions, particularly ones of insignificant financial consequence are just made individually. 

 

Where we go out for dinner or what we have for dinner are simple decisions one of us makes and the other will go along with it unless for whatever reason one of us has a specific preference. 

 

When I go out with friends, where and with whom is decision I make alone – I’ll inform my wife out of respect and decent curtsey. 

 

If going out with her friends, When, where and with whom is a decision my Wife will make alone – she’ll inform me out of respect and decent curtsey.

 

When one of us has made a plan the other usually goes along with it unless we have other plans. If we have both made conflicting plans we can discuss and chose which we would prefer or do our own thing - it usually depends which is best for our child or if either of us really has a preference. 

 

This whole ‘who wears the pants?’ issue / question seems to imply that some men want to control their Wife or Girlfriend, it would seem that these types of characters are unable to accept a relationship which includes mutual respect as they are with a woman they are unable to respect or with a woman who is unable to respect them, thus they left having to enforce control and dominance.

 

These are not relationships as we see them elsewhere i.e. one of partnership, but a situation where a female hangs around because she relies on the support.

[Skallywag]

1 hour ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

I brought 3 at the same time - she didn't know if to laugh or be angry and went "what were you planning on doing with 3 girls?!".    

1 hour ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

I told her I am willing to try an open relationship but I don't want to be tied down.

 

I believe paid courtesans are not considered a "relationship" in this discussion ????????

[bert bloggs]

My wife has a pair of those "ripped" jeans she wears ,oh and her running long  shorts .

[geoffbezoz]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

The important part is that she wears G-strings and not much more.

Indeed, a man of similar tastes to my own.

[PingRoundTheWorld]

50 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

I believe paid courtesans are not considered a "relationship" in this discussion ????????

I don't pay her. She's a nice girl with a decent job, not in it for the money. If she was the rented kind I'd pass her on to the next customer as soon as she started acting up.

 

But yes- it's a challenge getting a non-paid one to accept an open relationship. We'll see how this ends. I suspect she'll get sick of it and leave eventually - but that's fine too...

[Jaxxper]

On ‎6‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 7:03 AM, CharlieH said:

In this day and age of equality isnt this OP an "old fashioned" view, Why does there have to be a "boss" at all, isnt a relationship all about give n take and compromise, not whose the "boss".

 

Agreed whole heartedly. It should be a partnership.

I know of some farangs that I believe think they have married a housekeeper and bedsharer that they pay for by the month. Not the attitude in my view. Recipe for confrontation and disaster.

[myjawe]

When I see some foreigners not able to show balls when dealing with a Thai, I can understand how sad was were life in the west where they had even less chance to open their mouth and have an opinion 555+++

[myjawe]

5 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

This whole ‘who wears the pants?’ issue / question seems to imply that some men want to control their Wife or Girlfriend, it would seem that these types of characters are unable to accept a relationship which includes mutual respect as they are with a woman they are unable to respect or with a woman who is unable to respect them, thus they left having to enforce control and dominance.

 

Exactly ! and no interest to respect any of them.

Unlike some guys I can show balls because I do not fear that she leaves with my kids (because I do not have any), but at the same time, I do not drive a Mazda that I had to choose in conference 555+

 

 

 

[myjawe]

6 hours ago, Destiny1990 said:

Think about it If land house and car are not in your name but you paid for these items then who is wearing the pants in your relationship?

You might be a less dominant person as what you believe you are.

 

Totally agree ! they are mostly dreaming their life !

 

 

[myjawe]

7 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

Interesting that so many men on here allow women to control them. Even more ridiculous considering in most cases of farang-Thai relationship the man has more money and more choice so there's really no reason to allow women to behave like 5 year olds and their tantrums.

 

Women by nature seek to control you, and will control you up to the degree you'll let them. If you don't let them they might throw tantrums and whine or even cry about it - but those are all simply her arsenal of weapons to control you.

 

I made the mistake of allowing my ex-gf to gain more control, and she took it to extreme coming over unannounced and even made a copy of my key without permission. I ended up dumping her, and now a few weeks later she has been reset and comes over only when allowed to, and I've now openly told her I am sleeping with other women. We'll see how this goes from here...

 

Congrats ! Hard to find anyone who grew some in this country...

Mostly, the ones whom I meet who know how to treat women are Thai. And usually women just shut up in front of Thai, knowing how much painful it can be to open their mouth !

 

 

 

 

[mvsaraburi]

she jokes about being 'the boss',  in reality is reasonably even.  

my wife can be very strong willed and difficult to reason with about things

especially 'thai' issues (like how she rides her 'rod motersai' with our young son in the usual deathwish fashion) and can easily lose 30 minutes to 'i am thai lady, i am strong, don't worry, mai pen rai' blah blah trying to rationalise with her ????

[DJ54]

I am but she borrow the. A lot! 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎6‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 5:31 PM, steven100 said:

both .... it's is an agreement by both on any issue ... not just one way making orders.

Agreed. I didn't get married to be the boss, or the doormat. I got married to be an equal.

If I wanted to be the boss, I'd have stuck with renting.

[BritManToo]

19 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I got married to be an equal

I got married to have children.

Almost nobody in the world is my equal, and the few I've met were mostly men.

Did meet a woman who was my equal back at university, the sex was good but the fights for dominance were tiring.

 

Being stupid has it's advantages, there are lots of people to meet who are your equal, and I suspect stupid people live generally happier and more satisfying lives. I often wish I were as stupid as everyone else.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I got married to have children.

Almost nobody in the world is my equal, and the few I've met were mostly men.

Did meet a woman who was my equal back at university, the sex was good but the fights for dominance were tiring.

 

Being stupid has it's advantages, there are lots of people to meet who are your equal, and I suspect stupid people live generally happier and more satisfying lives. I often wish I were as stupid as everyone else.

I decided long ago not to have children. I lived with a woman that had 2 young ones for a while and I had made the absolute right decision. I see absolutely no gain to be made from bringing more mouths into the world to have to support for the rest of my life and that will abandon me to an old folks home when I'm no use to them anymore. 

I'd have had to be barking to actually choose to have some. If I want love, I'll buy a dog.

[bluesofa]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I decided long ago not to have children. I lived with a woman that had 2 young ones for a while and I had made the absolute right decision. I see absolutely no gain to be made from bringing more mouths into the world to have to support for the rest of my life and that will abandon me to an old folks home when I'm no use to them anymore. 

I'd have had to be barking to actually choose to have some. If I want love, I'll buy a dog.

Although you're more likely to be arrested for that.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

Although you're more likely to be arrested for that.

It's OK if it's pretty:-)

I'd never buy a bitch. Don't need the problem of a bitch on heat and all the neighbourhood dogs scratching the door.

Not an issue at the moment anyway. Not allowed to have dogs on the property.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I see absolutely no gain to be made from bringing more mouths into the world to have to support for the rest of my life and that will abandon me to an old folks home when I'm no use to them anymore. 

I'm hoping the two Thai kids will take care of me, I agree with you about the western kids, my four Brit kids were worthless.