Do you still feel lonely and regret not being married or hooked up?

[georgegeorgia]

This is mostly aimed at the guys 55 plus expats 

 

I came a across a quite interesting blog / facebook page recently of a Australian guy 70 plus years old who was living in Pattaya ....alone .. although his FB page has so many social photos.

 

all thru out his life you could see he was a ladies man ....and as he says he had the opportunity to be married many many times ...but never wanted to.

 

But i wonder now many Single Senior expats are  are still “ lonely” even though you live in Thailand.

 

Do you regret not marrying  or finding a full time partner , or do you really now want to think about looking for someone special to be with ?

 

or do you prefer to be “ alone” but still have a active social life like the blogger above?

 

Can i ask how many of you say in your 70’s living in Thailand are not hooked up with a partner and are happy living alone ?

 

Do you need someone in your life as you get older ?

 

Who looks after you for example, listens to your problems, be there when u need someone, someone to hug to make feel special, to hold at night, to be your rock or you be theres ,

 

or are you just content to be by yourself ?

 

I have always thought there are more “ lonely “ expats in Thailand particularly in Pattaya who pretend to be happy but inside are lonely because in reality you probably cant find “ real love” in Pattaya

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 12, 2019 by georgegeorgia

[brokenbone]

i cant get the breast i want anyway,

so i will be alone no matter who i live with

[brewsterbudgen]

I got married for the first time, aged 55 and now have a 4 year old son. I wasn't lonely before, and I'm certainly not lonely now!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[ianezy0]

I have been married twice to Western women. The latter ended in 1998. Since then I have had on and off relationships, the last being around 8 years ago. I have been living on and off in Pattaya for 6 years and here permanently for the last 9 months.

After having read some of the horror stories, I can’t bring myself to be involved with a Thai lady. Yes, I do get lonely moments (Currently 62) but on the whole I am a happy go lucky person. However, what I do find is that I am more drawn to family in the UK as I get older. The main reason being is that I emigrated to NZ/OZ in 1995 with my 2nd wife at the time. Now we have gone our separate ways, my Son moved back to the UK and is now in a stable relationship. 

To sum up, each time I visit family, including my new Grandaughter ????, I can feel a pull towards the UK.

 

You do raise a very important point in that, some people who are in Thailand and are of a senior age and single are under threat of being lonely and depressed. Is there a helpline number or a group that someone can contact for help. Cheers

[Sujo]

I am 56, never married, no kids.

 

when younger I saw friends get married and divorced and the men financially destroyed, it turned me off the notion.

 

I have never felt lonely but do like being alone. If I want company I just go out. But my home is for me, I never invite friends to my home as I prefer it alone to just have my down time.

 

I am free to go do what I want when I want to, but my married friends cannot.

 

But I do have a dog.

[BestB]

I am in my 40’s single and never married . Can not foresee getting married any time soon or even having GF as I am more than comfortable in my own ways and hate having to please or accomodate someone else.

 

do I get lonely sometimes ? Sure , but it’s an easy fix and only cost 1000 baht .

 

some man can be self reliant and sufficient to live their life and some need a woman to look after them at any cost and not only financial 

[BestB]

Just now, Sujo said:

I am 56, never married, no kids.

 

when younger I saw friends get married and divorced and the men financially destroyed, it turned me off the notion.

 

I have never felt lonely but do like being alone. If I want company I just go out. But my home is for me, I never invite friends to my home as I prefer it alone to just have my down time.

 

I am free to go do what I want when I want to, but my married friends cannot.

 

But I do have a dog.

I am little younger but very much like you in all aspects . Only difference I have 9 dogs so do not need to invite friends as they would say no anyway ????????

[villagefarang]

I am not in your target group but have thought about this issue some over the years.  I was very active in my twenties and thirties, and assumed I would remain single my entire life.  In my early forties things shifted as I started to see women looking at me  and addressing me differently.

 

Fortunately I met my wife around that time and switched from being single to being a happily married man.  It took a couple years to adjust but I now have the experience of being single in Thailand for twenty years and being married for twenty two years.

 

Personally I would not want to be single at my present age of 65.  There is no way, at my present age, that I could attract a woman like my wife.  She simply wouldn’t be interested.  We have twenty two years together at this point and have a history which is deeply intertwined.  Our shared experiences have made us who we are and that kind of connection takes time to develop.

 

If one is older and single I think you just have to make the best of it but I for one would not like to be single again.

[marcusarelus]

I've always had women.  College I had a live in.  Vietnam wartime, I had a woman. When I was married I always had a girlfriend too.  Moving to Thailand I lasted about 4 hours till I got snagged by an elderly dancer at Nana Plaza who was concerned about my safety at the hotel across the street.  I don't know what it's like to sleep alone anymore as the last time I did I was 16 years of age.  Regrets?  I've had a few but then again too few to mention.  

[BritManToo]

39 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

1) But i wonder now many Single Senior expats are  are still “ lonely” even though you live in Thailand.

 

2) Who looks after you for example, listens to your problems, be there when u need someone, someone to hug to make feel special, to hold at night, to be your rock or you be theres ,

1) It depends, If I were 70. I'd rather be alone than stuck with a 70 year old woman, but 70 and living with a 20-30 year old woman would be nice. In the west the majority of people aged 70+ are entirely alone, partner dead or gone, deserted by their children, stuck in a care home. Lonely is a feature of getting old.

 

2) I'm hoping my Thai kids will be there for the looking after and hugging bit, if I reach 70 my son will be 15, so I expect he'll still be around.

 

Edited July 12, 2019 by BritManToo

[Dene16]

8 minutes ago, BestB said:

do I get lonely sometimes ? Sure , but it’s an easy fix and only cost 1000 baht .

Thats why your always be lonely, Cheap charlie

[BestB]

1 minute ago, Dene16 said:

Thats why your always be lonely, Cheap charlie

As opposed to broke living off a pension ?

 

hard choice to make ????

[Lacessit]

I think I get the best of both worlds. Two weeks with my GF, one week apart. Suits us both, refreshes the relationship.

I have my my music, books and exercise when I am alone. And all the nice people on TV, of course.

[ezzra]

Not the question of regrets, it's what the individual thinks they need to survive and to function in society, some can't be without a partner even for one day owing to all sorts of dependency reasons, others, are just as contented and satisfied to live and prosper by themselves with no added responsibilities, heartaches, couple fightings and dealing with situations they'd rather not to...

Edited July 12, 2019 by ezzra

[geronimo]

63 and married for 25 years, and have never ever had an issue with being alone. I love my own private time, and I guess if I hadn't married, I'd visit a hooker now and then and happily live with myself until my last breath!

[Mike Teavee]

6 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I think I get the best of both worlds. Two weeks with my GF, one week apart. Suits us both, refreshes the relationship.

I have my my music, books and exercise when I am alone. And all the nice people on TV, of course.

Same here... 

• Approx 2/3rds my time In Singapore - 2 FWBs (who have no desire to move in with me)
• Approx 1/3rd my time In Bangkok - 1 x GF (Who's hinting at moving in or at least getting a key so may soon become Ex-GF) + a few regulars
• Every other month - Lads trip away 

 

But I have to admit that at 53 I am starting to think about whether I want to live with somebody again, especially if I decide to move back to Europe 

 

[Lacessit]

28 minutes ago, BestB said:

 

 

do I get lonely sometimes ? Sure , but it’s an easy fix and only cost 1000 baht .

 

You must get some really good-looking ones at that price.

[sanemax]

Been married and co habitated all my life .

Happy and content living on my own .

Do not allow females into my Condo ,as its hard to get rid of them .

[madmen]

Been either married or in a relationship my whole damn life and finally its nice to wake up and not have to think about what a partner has planned for the day.

There is no need to marry a Thai when they are so freely available for pleasure , daily I see farang /Thai couples sitting in a restaurant both staring off into the distance and struggling to communicate. Many farang are lonely in their marriage and that's the worst type of alone..

[NCC1701A]

god i wish i could post the photos.

[NCC1701A]

56 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

or are you just content to be by yourself ?

i am very content being by myself. but always have been. i am computer geek and i can spend hours learning some new tech. 

 

 

[Mike Teavee]

7 minutes ago, ezzra said:

Not the question of regrets, it's what the individual thinks they need to survive and to function in society, some can't be without a partner even for one day owing to all sorts of dependency reasons, others, are just as contented and satisfied to live and prosper by themselves with no added responsibilities, heartaches, couple fightings and dealing with situations they'd rather not to...

Well said... I'm used to living alone, even when I lived with my UK GF, I was travelling for weeks on end (would estimate we spent less than 10% of the 8 years actually living together) & guess I'm used to my own ways so it's nice to have company 1-2 times per week, but no more than that.

 

Then there's my mate who just cannot stand being on his own for any length of time who's just moved his last gf out so we're taking bets to see how long it will be before he moves the next one in (she's already lined up & has stayed over a couple of times, last time he left her his key so she could go round to do something for him - Yeah right...).

 

[BestB]

5 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

You must get some really good-looking ones at that price.

I do and no I will not give you their contact info

[geronimo]

I know a guy who managed to rack up a 25k girlie tab in Soi Cowboy, and he wasn't exactly good looking!

[bkk6060]

3 minutes ago, BestB said:

I do and no I will not give you their contact info

Yes.

So many clueless people paying a small fortune when 1000 b is pretty much the going rate especially off the dating sites in Pattaya.

[villagefarang]

If the choice is between a bad relationship or being alone then being alone wins.  The thing is, not everyone is stuck with those two choices.  It is not weak or dependent to be in love and enjoy the companionship of a beautiful woman.

[geronimo]

1 minute ago, bkk6060 said:

Yes.

So many clueless people paying a small fortune when 1000 b is pretty much the going rate especially off the dating sites in Pattaya.

The hooker industry is going digital!

[BritManToo]

22 minutes ago, ezzra said:

Not the question of regrets, it's what the individual thinks they need to survive and to function in society, some can't be without a partner even for one day owing to all sorts of dependency reasons, others, are just as contented and satisfied to live and prosper by themselves with no added responsibilities, heartaches, couple fightings and dealing with situations they'd rather not to...

All very well until you fall and break your hip (someone I know in CM just did this).

After lying in bed not being able to move all night, he got the bright idea of calling my gf.

So she spent 2 days sorting out ambulance, trucking him around hospitals until he found one he could afford.

 

Time he found his own hired help IMHO, I ain't a charity for old single men.

Edited July 12, 2019 by BritManToo

[BestB]

5 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Yes.

So many clueless people paying a small fortune when 1000 b is pretty much the going rate especially off the dating sites in Pattaya.

They just do not know can pay as you go instead of monthly????

[geronimo]

Getting old is something that most of us have to deal with, and as a guy in his mid 60s, I plan to live to 106 and pass away in my sleep, and what's more, I'll be active until the very end!