Texans

Two Texans were having the blue plate special at their favorite watering hole, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down an Armadillo Burger too fast. The first Texan said to the other, "Think we ought ta' help?"

"Yep," said the second Texan. The first Texan got up, hitched up his jeans and walked over to the lady. He asked, "Kin yew breathe?"

She shook her head no. "Kin yew speak?" he asked. She again shook her head no.

With that, he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt, and started to lick her on the butt. She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief. The first Texan turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever' time!"