How Many Are “Stuck” Here With No Way Out

[Denim]

22 hours ago, bowerboy said:

Seven and five years ago

 Wow. Respect. I thought I was an old timer at 40 years but I'm blown away by 75 years.

[observer90210]

This should serve as a brainstroming for those who want to live a fairy tale in Thailand. Remember the magic mantra, that applies for ladies and property in Thailand....never buy - only RENT !!!....and be sure to be worth more alive, then dead. And you will live happily ever after ! Be safe.

[Denim]

22 hours ago, bowerboy said:

 I feel incredibly lucky that we could go to Australia anytime at the drop of a hat 

 

Time flys doesn't it.

 

There was a time when people were sentenced to Australia for the theft of a hat. Didn't feel too lucky about it either. Some things don't change.

[gearbox]

1 hour ago, observer90210 said:

This should serve as a brainstroming for those who want to live a fairy tale in Thailand. Remember the magic mantra, that applies for ladies and property in Thailand....never buy - only RENT !!!....and be sure to be worth more alive, then dead. And you will live happily ever after ! Be safe.

+1. If you don't want to be stuck here, don't accumulate baggage like wife, kids, properties. If you decide to do it, it is fine, your life, but don't complain.

[SteveK]

5 minutes ago, gearbox said:

+1. If you don't want to be stuck here, don't accumulate baggage like wife, kids, properties. If you decide to do it, it is fine, your life, but don't complain.

Nobody is "stuck" here. You can always be deported.

[mike787]

NO WAY OUT??  Only if you are incarcerated.  Then u wait for the maker to take  you, or you do it.  But there is always a way out.  

[bwpage3]

22 hours ago, bowerboy said:

I was hoping this could be a constructive thread given how many people nowadays are talking of relocating. I was hoping it might give some ideas and provoke some thoughts.

 

I do feel blessed that I got that bolt out of the blue job offer that allowed me and my family a way out if we ever need or want it....but I just think a lot of people underestimate just how hard it can be to relocate. At the very least (and especially from UK as many are) you can expect your family to be apart for a very long time and to have to support 2 households at a time when you probably need that money the most.

 

Again this is mainly for families that have been here a long time....if you live in your home country already and met a lass and started a family then different story entirely.

Very true.

 

I had to move back to the USA alone, get a job, etc. to sponsor my wife's VISA. 16 months it took supporting 2 households.

 

Thankful now she is a US citizen and she can make her own choices in the future where she wants to live.

 

[bwpage3]

22 hours ago, timendres said:

From the OP:

Madmen does not sound bitter, he sounds dubious, which, when reading your own words, seems reasonable. Who is judging?

 

Being "stuck" here is little different than being "stuck" back home, except that it is cheaper and more palatable. Know plenty of people in the US who are unemployed, unemployable, losing their homes, in the middle of a horrible divorce, or otherwise had their lives completely disrupted and looking bleak. Many would be happy to be "stuck" here instead. 

You can say that about Thailand and any other country in the world.

 

How many would be happy to be stuck in their home countries, happily married, kid in college, high 6 figure salary?

 

You can point out all the unemployed, divorced, etc. It is no different that any other country in the world.

 

Many in Thailand are having their lives disrupted by currency rates, insurance, divorce, gov't regulations.

 

 

 

 

 

[SteveK]

I wonder how many ex-pats can no longer meet the visa requirements because of the shocking changes in the exchange rates alone? I would have thought that this could have affected thousands.

[bwpage3]

21 hours ago, Genmai said:

 

The mistake I made 5 years ago was to a) burn my bridges and relocate here 100%, and b) invest all my money into starting a business here all without doing any due diligence, research or anything. I didn't even know ThaiVisa was a thing at the time. 

 

Pretty quickly I found this place was a hole and not particularly pleasant to be in. Nobody else's fault but mine, I should have been more thoughtful. At the time my marriage was going to **** and I just needed a new start and wasn't thinking clearly.

 

Now all my money is tied up in a business here which isn't doing that great. Eventually it will start pulling in profits after some years but not sure I can stick around till then. In a way I don't particularly feel like I'm "stuck" here. Every day I make the decision whether I want to continue towards trying to make a return on my investments or just saying "**** it" and taking off to a place where I actually enjoy living. Every now and then I come on this forum to vent my frustrations with the place, frustrations which some members sympathize with and others are kind enough to tolerate. Eventually I know I will leave, hopefully with a bit more common sense to choose my next country of residence carefully.

 

I'm in my 30s, not married, no kids or commitments and no need for the fancy things of life. I could take off tomorrow, cut my losses short, move to another nearby country and teach English or something. I do truly feel sorry for the guys stuck here with no way out, those who hate it yet have commitments or responsibilities or poor finances. It must be hell.

Refreshing to hear someone post the truth.

 

Thank you.

[bwpage3]

19 hours ago, Isaanbiker said:

 

    

 Would you prefer to be miserable, lonely and sad, leaving your family, car, bike, etc. here and start to live off social welfare in a country where you have not much more in common than perhaps the language the people in this country speak? 

 

  When I moved to LOS 17 years ago, it was a lovely country to live. 

 

Many things were different, Thais usually loved to have a chat with foreigners, it was much cheaper, and I could buy way more for my salary than I can afford right now. 

 

Wages didn't go up, but pretty much everything else did. I had 3 K more per month ten years ago. 

 

Thai people, in general, were a lot friendlier back in the old days than they are now and that's not only the colleagues at schools.

I can sense that almost everywhere. 
 
If I'd be single, I'd not be here anymore and would have left some years ago. But I can't take my family to the place I once called my home, and I'm too old to get a decent job. 

 

Not having enough income and I can't get my family to Europe. Some good friends have passed away, and others moved away. 

 

Start over again and being alone? I never lived alone and was always in a relationship. 

 

My apologies, but it's a bizarre situation. 

 

Besides that, I've never taught my family the language they'd have to speak in Europe, and they'd have to pass a language test in verbal and written form. 

 

Teaching them a third language would take a while and I don't even know if they'd like it there and I know that I can't live there anymore. 

 

  The topic is indeed fascinating, and there must be many foreigners who are definitely "stuck" in a situation where they can't move forward, and they can't go back. 

 

  I've had a few million baht when I came to this country and spent every baht of my salaries. I've always paid my income tax, got my police clearance, never did something wrong, not one day of overstay. 

I know that schools can offer a three-year contract, but that never happened to me. 

 

Laws didn't get more comfortable for us, so what's the understandable reason for living here other than supporting a family?

 

Even my teacher's license doesn't seem to help me much because I'm too old for many school superiors who believe that a foreign teacher shouldn't be older than 45 and that's the maximum for some of them. 

 

A 20-year-old backpacker without a degree might have better chances of landing a job than I do. Let's face it; it's not about the experience here; it's more about the appearance.

 

Nobody cares when people have a TOEIC score of 399 if they are young and good looking. And it seems that nobody gives a flying kangaroo if the students learn something or not. 

 

I'd never have thought that I'd ever work for an agency again, but shit happens, and I do not want to send money to my family living and working somewhere else in another province.  

 

It's pretty much complicated to say if I'm stuck, trapped, or just fuc_ed? 

 

That's my honest answer to your question, and I'm confident that I'm not the only one.

 

 

 

 

   

 

   

Really appreciate your truthful post.

 

There is someone for everyone to learn when people speak the truth.

 

Wish for some good fortune for your and your family.

[gearbox]

14 minutes ago, SteveK said:

I wonder how many ex-pats can no longer meet the visa requirements because of the shocking changes in the exchange rates alone? I would have thought that this could have affected thousands.

That doesn't make you stuck. IMO the only way to get really stuck here is to have kids and have no viable options for them somewhere else. Everything else should be more or less fixable.

[SteveK]

3 minutes ago, gearbox said:

That doesn't make you stuck. IMO the only way to get really stuck here is to have kids and have no viable options for them somewhere else. Everything else should be more or less fixable.

As I said before nobody is stuck here. The Thai authorities will get you out one way or another. If when you get back to your home country you need to live under a bridge then that's a different matter. People who came here, got married and had kids are not the enemy.

[bwpage3]

10 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Being stuck here is much easier than being stuck in the US. I had a friend who was forced to move back to the US, due to being in a bad financial position, and going broke. He worked hard as an English teacher, working here for some time, and then he lived in China and taught at a University there for a while. But, he did not like living there at all. Moved back here, and just could not make much of a living teaching english. Ran out of money, passport expired, could not get a visa for a teaching gig he got offered in Vietnam, and agreed to move back to the US, with financial help from his family. Once he returned, he realized his entire skill set from the past meant nothing, and getting a job at close to 60 was very hard. He ended up working at K-Mart. At less than $10 an hour. Living in his brothers house. Last time we spoke, he said he was very depressed, and could not envision a way for his to ever return to Thailand, which he really loved. Life in the US, unless you are wealthy, is a difficult and desperate affair. People tend to be sour, bitter and disenfranchised, and the women have no idea how to manifest any of the dignity within femininity. Most America women are completely lost, when it comes to romance, and men. He had a great life here, prior to going broke. Spoke good Thai, and was constantly meeting and going out with lovely, young women. In the US, as a man of nearly 60, a man is as invisible as Casper the ghost, to women under 60! Unless you are wealthy, young, or very good looking, the prospects of dating an attractive woman who is not within your own age range, are very low. That itself is quite depressing for most single men. I have friends in the US who have not gotten busy for two years! What kind of life is that? 

 

He was a smart, charming, articulate, funny, lovely man. I guess he felt such a sense of desperation, he ended up taking his own life, a few years ago. Such a sad story. Miss him to this day. 

A very sad story and lessons to be learned.

 

Teaching school in Thailand is surely not going to get you anywhere.

 

Like many have mentioned, if you move to Thailand with no money and no backup finances, the chances of something bad happening are high.

 

I never understood why people would move 10,000 miles away just so they can chase girls around 30 years younger than them when they can't afford it?

 

They never seem to think about the long term prospects of a changing, more expensive world, regulations, saving for the future, etc.

 

You cannot expect to move back to the west and get a high paying job, from an English teacher in Thailand.

 

The world is changing, Thailand is changing.

 

Nothing is predictable.

 

Best to have a concrete plan that covers the worst case.

 

If something better than worse happens, you will be all prepared.

 

 

[gearbox]

3 hours ago, bowerboy said:

Thanks for this and yes completely agreed....

 

Plus I want my kids to be in a system where they get to enjoy life with a safety net and a society that truly values the young as the key to the country’s future...

 

Plus school fees as mentioned...not to mention insurance, possibility for wife to work part time, qualifying for Medicare and pensions etc

If your kids are academically gifted, the top 9 out of 10 secondary schools in NSW are government selective secondary schools. They supply the bulk of the future doctors, lawyers and engineers. You need to fork out around 1k per year there. Then if your kids do very well in the secondary school, they have a chance to get university scholarships, and graduate almost for free. Many university scholarships are not means tested like US.

[bwpage3]

9 hours ago, Kurtf said:

Although there are many reasons why one could get stuck in Thailand I think mine might be typical. My father in law got I’ll so since my Thai wife owned some land in Thailand and even though she is an American citizen as am I, we decided to move to Thailand and take care of the old man. We came and built a house in the north away from Bangkok where her dad lived and then moved him up north to live with us. We hired a nurse to help take care of him and 9 months later he died. And for 7 years we have been trying to sell the house and land where all my entire wealth is tied up. Without selling this house there is no way we can afford to return to the USA. Moral of the story.....RENT. Never buy unless you want to buy my house 40 km north of Chiang Mai. 

Good luck.

 

I hope someone buys your house.

[bwpage3]

7 hours ago, justin case said:

you want a real stuck story ?

 

recently divorced ... want to move back with my child

 

ex-wife is stopping this even she does not visit the child, does not care, apparently f. around, but don't have 10 min per day/week/month to call or visit daughter

 

but does not allow me going back

 

that is stuck in the prison of thailand

 

ah yes, let's not forget, she does everything for me to not obtain a valid visa

 

supposed to help with that by court divorce agreement, but off course she is thai and cannot be bothered but is ready to sue ME for sole custody if I do not pay a bill on time...

 

embassy is of no use, thai courts are for thai people only, ... 

Praying for you.

 

Must be hell to go through.

[bwpage3]

5 hours ago, BestB said:

I guess it all depends on where kids like to live. If they raised as Thai , in Thailand highly unlikely they would want to move to Oz but if they raised in Oz , they may want to stay there .

 

plenty of Thai with education locally and then getting accredited overseas. 

 

By the way, private good schools in Australia are not much cheaper than Thailand and Australian public schools are not much better than Thai . Do not see too many public school graduates getting into uni to do law or medicine or engineering . TAFE is where most public school graduates end up 

We had our son in one of the most expensive international schools in Thailand

 

When he came to the USA in the eighth grade, he was tested and was found to be a year behind his age group

 

So that is a factual experience of how good Thai's school are at any price, which is not good.

 

This Tuesday, he is starting is college career at the University of Florida. Can speak English, Thai and Spanish.

 

 

[DavisH]

40 minutes ago, SteveK said:

I wonder how many ex-pats can no longer meet the visa requirements because of the shocking changes in the exchange rates alone? I would have thought that this could have affected thousands.

...and  wonder what proportion of those pensioners rely on a pension only and have no assets back home - perhaps some "sold up", and have nothing left there. That would be worrying. 

[mstevens]

15 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Most America women are completely lost, when it comes to romance, and men. He had a great life here, prior to going broke. Spoke good Thai, and was constantly meeting and going out with lovely, young women. In the US, as a man of nearly 60, a man is as invisible as Casper the ghost, to women under 60! Unless you are wealthy, young, or very good looking, the prospects of dating an attractive woman who is not within your own age range, are very low.

 

He was a smart, charming, articulate, funny, lovely man. I guess he felt such a sense of desperation, he ended up taking his own life, a few years ago. Such a sad story. Miss him to this day. 

 

This guy is nearly 60, broke and earning $10 / hour. You infer he is not good-looking either. Hardly sounds like a prize catch so I don't think the American women can be blamed for not showing him any attention!

 

Edited August 11, 2019 by mstevens

[BritManToo]

7 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

When he came to the USA in the eighth grade, he was tested and was found to be a year behind his age group

But Australia has the worst schools in the western world.

My daughter did fine in the Thai government school.

My son's doing fine too.

 

How are the high schools in inner city Detroit?

 

Edited August 11, 2019 by BritManToo

[gearbox]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

But Australia has the worst schools in the western world.

My daughter did fine in the Thai government school.

My son's doing fine too.

 

How are the high schools in inner city Detroit?

 

Australia has a few tiers of schools. In NSW most of the academically top schools are government selective schools. You have to sit entrance exam for these and the competition is fierce. The kids are very competitive, many also play well an instrument, and most of the students are from Asian background. At the No 1 NSW school for the last 20 years James Ruse Agricultural, probably 98% are from Asian/Indian background, and they won numerous medals from the international science competitions. A comparable Thai secondary school to James Ruse in the same league would be "Triam Udom Suksa School".  The students are admitted there after entrance exam too. If I had kids here, I would be aiming for this one.

 

 

[spidermike007]

7 hours ago, mstevens said:

 

This guy is nearly 60, broke and earning $10 / hour. You infer he is not good-looking either. Hardly sounds like a prize catch so I don't think the American women can be blamed for not showing him any attention!

 

No, he WAS decent looking. He is in the ground now, as he took he own life. And he was super charming. But, I get your meaning about being broke. That is a tough one to overcome. Having said that, I have friends in LA who are younger, good looking, and successful, and they cannot get a date with anyone under 50! It is a truly alarming, and desperate situation in the US right now for a single man, who is not into really fat women, or worth less than $50 million.

[spidermike007]

11 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

A very sad story and lessons to be learned.

 

Teaching school in Thailand is surely not going to get you anywhere.

 

Like many have mentioned, if you move to Thailand with no money and no backup finances, the chances of something bad happening are high.

 

I never understood why people would move 10,000 miles away just so they can chase girls around 30 years younger than them when they can't afford it?

 

They never seem to think about the long term prospects of a changing, more expensive world, regulations, saving for the future, etc.

 

You cannot expect to move back to the west and get a high paying job, from an English teacher in Thailand.

 

The world is changing, Thailand is changing.

 

Nothing is predictable.

 

Best to have a concrete plan that covers the worst case.

 

If something better than worse happens, you will be all prepared.

 

 

Good points. But I have at least three friends who moved to Thailand, when they were in decent shape financially. Things change. Investments go south, businesses fail, guys get involved with the wrong women, and make the fatal mistake of not taking enough time to get to know them, etc, etc. Some guys just get caught up in those kinds of tragic situations and my heart goes out to them. It is no fun being broke. 

[Wake Up]

Stuck is a self imposed mental issue. No one is ever stuck in any country or relationship or job. The only people that are stuck are those without free will. 

[Vacuum]

On 8/10/2019 at 6:13 PM, emptypockets said:

Many farang with small children who get by on a pension???

 

WHY?? For the love of God WHY? Why do old men do this???

A very good question.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, gearbox said:

The kids are very competitive, many also play well an instrument, and most of the students are from Asian background.

i'd rather my children were happy, than suicidal.

[Skallywag]

18 hours ago, bowerboy said:

 

Fortunately I seem to have a more positive outlook on the joys of parenthood...it’s not about being stuck with kids it’s about being stuck in a country with options...

 

Valid points though nonetheless 

Many joys in parenthood - agreed.  Yet as kids get older sometimes their personality changes and they become a huge pain in the a$$  55

 

Wish you the best 

 

 

 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Skallywag

[drbeach]

16 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

We had our son in one of the most expensive international schools in Thailand

 

When he came to the USA in the eighth grade, he was tested and was found to be a year behind his age group

 

So that is a factual experience of how good Thai's school are at any price, which is not good.

 

This Tuesday, he is starting is college career at the University of Florida. Can speak English, Thai and Spanish.

 

 

Doubtful, good international schools in Thailand are world class - but they are expensive. American public education is horrible. It's well known that the Australian system is 2 years ahead of the American one. In other words, someone with 2 years in college is at the same level as an Australian high school graduate.

 

I found university in America a breeze. It was more focused on homework assignments and less on exams.

[MAGA 2020]

Stuck no..!!! Love it here, just all you bitching and moaners stay the hell away and will continue to do so.