Quiz to check if you have a Thai Wife

[Kinnock]

The concept of ‘marriage’ can be quite flexible in Thailand, so here’s a handy reckoner to find out if you have a Thai Wife.

 

Answer each of the following questions and follow the instructions below.

 

1. When you woke up this morning, did the girl sleeping next to you look familiar?

No – end quiz – you do not have a Thai Wife

Yes – go to Question 2

 

2. Do you know the given name of her Mother 

No – end quiz – you do not have a Thai Wife

Yes – go to Question 3

 

3. Check the drawers in your kitchen – does one have a plastic pot containing a million red elastic bands, a thousand 7-11 drinking straws and several unused packs of spicy sauce?

No – end quiz – you do not have a Thai Wife

Yes – go to question 4

 

4. Check your fridge – does it contain the remains of the last 5 meals you have eaten out, all neatly packed in foam trays and plastic bags?

No – end quiz – you do not have a Thai Wife

Yes – go to question 5

 

5. Check your TV – has the on-screen menu mysteriously changed to Thai?

No – end quiz – you do not have a Thai Wife

Yes – go to question 6

 

6. Check outside your front door (or your post box if you have a condo). Is there a delivery from Lazada or Shopee?

No – end quiz – you do not have a Thai Wife

Yes – go to question 7

 

7. When you try to use your washing machine, are you intercepted by a woman with long dark hair who insists on doing your laundry as you don't do it properly?

No - end quiz - you do not have a Thai Wife

Yes - go to question 8

 

8. When did you last use your kitchen?

Yesterday - end quiz

No idea, food and drink just arrives by magic – Congratulations on your Thai Marriage, I hope you will be very happy together. ????

 

[faraday]

Very funny & also true.

 

????

[colinneil]

Kinnock, how do you know my wife?

You are spot on with this thread, when i read it i could not stop laughing.

[nikmar]

Excellent - but no.2 doesnt ring true. Ive known my Mother in Law for 14 years and have only ever known her as แม่. 

It's never crossed my mind to ask for her actual name. 

 

[CGW]

17 minutes ago, nikmar said:

Excellent - but no.2 doesnt ring true. Ive known my Mother in Law for 14 years and have only ever known her as แม่. 

It's never crossed my mind to ask for her actual name. 

Same, known mine 15 years, don't have a clue what her name is, FIL either, guess I should ask ????

[Kinnock]

11 minutes ago, CGW said:

Same, known mine 15 years, don't have a clue what her name is, FIL either, guess I should ask ????

I guess it's a name you'll never use in practice, so perhaps replace Number 2 with something about a quick trip to 7-11 turning into a complex transaction involving stamps, vouchers, utility bills and telephone numbers? ????

[pgrahmm]

50 minutes ago, CGW said:

Same, known mine 15 years, don't have a clue what her name is, FIL either, guess I should ask ????

Ditto - never really gave it much of a thought (big mileage gap).....

I'm not sure most Thais know the legal/given names of those around them...

[phetpeter]

When travelling on a journey, does her mood change if you haven't stopped for a snack stop every 2 hours?

 

No matter what fight or row you've had or are having, you always get fed?

 

Is she always asking for a little bit of cash, and never seems to have any money in her purse, and by magic some appears when its snack time?

 Then you have a Thai wife!

[ThaiBunny]

1 minute ago, phetpeter said:

Is she always asking for a little bit of cash, and never seems to have any money in her purse ...

And if you give her the cash you will never, ever get the change

[nikmar]

I wonder what a reverse quiz would look like. 

 

"Does you farang husband, for some strange reason, refuse to eat chicken's feet? If so, then your husband is farang"

[CharlieH]

Beem married 13 years and got "not married etc" to every one of those ! ????

[Pilotman]

2 hours ago, faraday said:

Very funny & also true.

 

????

Not at all funny, just a bunch of cliches. 

[Kinnock]

5 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Beem married 13 years and got "not married etc" to every one of those ! ????

Then sorry - you are not married.  She must be your 'Gik'. ????

 

Surely you can at least relate to PhetPeter's excellent addition about her needing to eat every 2 hours?

[CharlieH]

31 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

Then sorry - you are not married.  She must be your 'Gik'. ????

 

Surely you can at least relate to PhetPeter's excellent addition about her needing to eat every 2 hours?

Nope, sorry, and I dont wake up next her as she is always gone before I wake up ! returning later when I am awake, with my breakfast. ????

[55Jay]

Ha ha, good one! 

 

Although I remember, back in my wilder days, waking up a few times, looking at the hips and back next to me and had to think for a second..... ? 

 

Once, quite a few years ago, wife's sister was staying with us abroad for a month until sorting out her own place.  Wandered into the kitchen a bit bleary eyed, saw a familiar set of legs and bumm bent over looking into the open refrigerator door.  I went in for the tap and "morning, hon" but pulled up short at the last second.  Sister!  Don't think she was aware but maybe she was. ????

[jvs]

3 hours ago, Kinnock said:

When you try to use your washing machine, are you intercepted by a woman with long dark hair who insists on doing your laundry as you don't do it properly?

I just tried that and she wont let me near it.Not that i really want to use it but just trying out your theory.

Now what do i do?

[Kinnock]

21 minutes ago, jvs said:

I just tried that and she wont let me near it.Not that i really want to use it but just trying out your theory.

Now what do i do?

Time to have the Sin Sod discussion?  ????

[faraday]

1 hour ago, phetpeter said:

When travelling on a journey, does her mood change if you haven't stopped for a snack stop every 2 hours?

 

No matter what fight or row you've had or are having, you always get fed?

 

Is she always asking for a little bit of cash, and never seems to have any money in her purse, and by magic some appears when its snack time?

 Then you have a Thai wife!

Nope, it's me that's gets glumpy.

 

????

[ivor bigun]

My Thai wife lived in the UK to long ,she is just like a falang wife ,even loves marmite on toast,mind you she is a fitness fanatic.,

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Kinnock]

1 hour ago, ivor bigun said:

My Thai wife lived in the UK to long ,she is just like a falang wife ,even loves marmite on toast,mind you she is a fitness fanatic.,

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

Ah yes - I must get mine to try Marmite to see what she thinks!

 

Is it available in Thailand?

 

But I hope your Anglicised Thai Wife still does not let you drive a washing machine?

[OneMoreFarang]

I gave up after 3 and 4.

Do you think that is necessary for a Thai wife?

No, it's not!

 

[Peterw42]

I have a Thai wife but there are no leftovers in the fridge, their place is on the kitchen bench, its some sort of science experiment.

The refrigerator is for makeup, the crisper draw and bottom shelf are full of makeup. The rest of the fridge is for un-opened steel cans.

[ivor bigun]

Ah yes - I must get mine to try Marmite to see what she thinks!
 
Is it available in Thailand?
 
But I hope your Anglicised Thai Wife still does not let you drive a washing machine?

Whats a washing machine? Is it that magic thing the wife puts clothes into and they come out clean ,then she puts a hot thing on them and hangs them up? Yes get marmite all stores in Pattaya and BKK .

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[thaibeachlovers]

23 hours ago, nikmar said:

Excellent - but no.2 doesnt ring true. Ive known my Mother in Law for 14 years and have only ever known her as แม่. 

It's never crossed my mind to ask for her actual name. 

 

I don't remember the MIL's name. She acted as though I did not exist, even when standing in front of her, so I returned the favour, and ignored her. We never had a conversation, even though we lived in the same house.

[NCC1701A]

On 8/22/2019 at 11:56 AM, Kinnock said:

1. When you woke up this morning, did the girl sleeping next to you look familiar?

your joking right?

 

funny quiz. this works for live together girlfriends too.

Edited August 23, 2019 by NCC1701A

[pgrahmm]

A classic today - 

Unexpected family popped in yesterday.....No problem, dinner & breakfast, sleeping arrangements, linens, etc. for 7 handled without a hic-cup.....

 

One wanted to ride bikes with us this morning; but somehow skipped the chain off a 21 speed = she had it back on & rolling pretty much before I got there to help.....Not a blink about the black chain oil all over our hands.....

 

Family decides they want to go to the hot springs = ok......

 

Heading out the door I noticed my wife happily toting along a flat of 48 eggs - she wanted to hard boil them there, (since we just happened to be going to the hot springs anyway)..... ???? I told her we were not babysitting 48 eggs....

 

Laundry is also verboten for me....She happily does so much I tried doing some laundry to help out.....I was admonished for this and firmly told that if the neighbors saw me doing the laundry, they would think she was not doing a good enough job of being a good wife for me.....

 

It's part "Touched By An Angel" - & part "I Love Lucy" every day.....

 

I love it......Guess she does too.....

 

 

 

[HLover]

On 8/22/2019 at 1:03 PM, nikmar said:

Excellent - but no.2 doesnt ring true. Ive known my Mother in Law for 14 years and have only ever known her as แม่. 

It's never crossed my mind to ask for her actual name. 

 

Her name is squiggly lines?  Brilliant!

[Kinnock]

3 hours ago, HLover said:

Her name is squiggly lines?  Brilliant!

Funny ????

 

I guess you already know it says 'Mae' or Mother.

[1FinickyOne]

On 8/22/2019 at 1:03 PM, nikmar said:

Excellent - but no.2 doesnt ring true. Ive known my Mother in Law for 14 years and have only ever known her as แม่. 

It's never crossed my mind to ask for her actual name. 

 

Funny - I did ask once maybe even twice in almost 20 yrs now but I quickly forgot as everyone calls her Mer... though the dad has a name... and we all use that. 

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, HLover said:

Her name is squiggly lines?  Brilliant!

I see even a little assimilation is not a big priority...