Uninvited people at wedding

[megapix]

So Im getting married (non-formal ceremony) in 3 weeks in Thailand. So far so good. Had some minor problems but always found a solution that worked for both sides. I have great parents in law.

 

But i just had a talk with my wife and she said that there will be probably more people coming than we invited. She told me it is pretty common that invited people will invite another people to come with them. We gave invitations to all people that we want to come. We have included boyfriends, girlfriends, wife, husbands, close family etc... but we should anyway expect more people to arrive. No one knows exact number.

 

I asked where those people will sit ? What they gonna eat ? She said that they have to find some space somewhere. And they will not eat or order something a la carte.

 

I just don't understand, is this a real thing ? Did this happened to someone at his wedding ? If yes, what was your solutions tfor  ? I just cannot imagine that someone not invited will appear in my wedding and I don't have a space or food for them. I mean it is not my problem, but anyway it would bother me.

 

 

[HLover]

The solution is to ignore them and enjoy your special event.

[worgeordie]

I might mean more wedding presents....but I doubt it.

regards worgeordie

[RichardColeman]

 I get the feeling your chang bill will cost more than a ton of sticky rice

[samsensam]

 

weddings seem to be pretty laid back affairs, a thai friend married a thai guy recently and sent me photos, it was interesting to see some guests dressed to the nines and others in jeans, t-shirts and trainers, zero effort to dress for the event, everyone seemed happy though which is the main thing.

[shy coconut]

My  experiences from isaan is that formalities don't really exist, people seem to pop

in and out all the time, weddings, whether involving a foreigner or not seem to be a free

for all and the whole village pile in.

 

I would just budget for more food and drink and try and enjoy the day, as long as you've got 

somewhere to sit and something to eat you'll be fine.

 

Of course if you're having a formal western style do in a hotel with seating arrangements

then I can see there could be problems!

[Ron jeremy]

Buy a <deleted> load of booze, that's all they want anyways.

[Puchaiyank]

Your Thai lady will be honored in her village by wedding a person of means...all who live there are potential guests...invited or not...this is Thai culture...roll with it...be a good sport and smile a lot...this too will soon pass...????

Edited August 27, 2019 by Puchaiyank

[wisperone]

The more the merrier????

If that's the custom, as Steve Winwood said,  "roll with it baby????".

Order extra food and drink. Its cheap in Thailand anyway.

[steven100]

just order another six boxes of chang and forget about them … they're only there for the free grog

 

 

 

 

Edited August 27, 2019 by steven100

[colinneil]

Why get excited megapix? It is normal here for many invited or uninvited people to come to a wedding.

As previously said village weddings are very informal, many people bring others with them.

Is your problem just because you are scared it will cost you more?

[Destiny1990]

You can still back down from it all.

[Beggar]

Tell them you want to do a Moslem style wedding without booze and you will be almost alone. 

[PatOngo]

Make sure they bring an envelope with cash.

[Odysseus123]

Who are these people,honey-they can't all be the Joneses can they?

 

[megapix]

1 hour ago, colinneil said:

Why get excited megapix? It is normal here for many invited or uninvited people to come to a wedding.

As previously said village weddings are very informal, many people bring others with them.

Is your problem just because you are scared it will cost you more?

The problem is not higher costs but I have a western style wedding in 5 star hotel and we have prepared seats for all the guests. And I don't know what to do if there will be 10, 20 or more people coming and I will not have a space for them. My wife just tells me that I don't have worry about them because they are not invited.

 

 

If my wedding would in a village I wouldn't mind more people coming as it is informal, but in this case it bothers me. 

[megapix]

7 hours ago, shy coconut said:

My  experiences from isaan is that formalities don't really exist, people seem to pop

in and out all the time, weddings, whether involving a foreigner or not seem to be a free

for all and the whole village pile in.

 

I would just budget for more food and drink and try and enjoy the day, as long as you've got 

somewhere to sit and something to eat you'll be fine.

 

Of course if you're having a formal western style do in a hotel with seating arrangements

then I can see there could be problems!

That is exactly the case, I have a western style ceremony in a 5 star hotel with seating arrangements.

 

I already have confirmed the seating arrangement with the hotel and I have even included 4 seats more just in case. But I dont really know what to do if there will be 20 people coming.

 

My wife just tells me to ignore them. But how can I ignore someone who is not invited trying to sit and eat with us.

[colinneil]

9 minutes ago, megapix said:

The problem is not higher costs but I have a western style wedding in 5 star hotel and we have prepared seats for all the guests. And I don't know what to do if there will be 10, 20 or more people coming and I will not have a space for them. My wife just tells me that I don't have worry about them because they are not invited.

 

 

If my wedding would in a village I wouldn't mind more people coming as it is informal, but in this case it bothers me. 

Well mate dont worry every wedding here has more guests than invited.

When i married my ex, we had about 100 or so invited guests, more than 140 turned up, hotel staff just kept bringing more chairs/ tables.

So many uninvited  turned up the food ran out, only person concerned was me, wife said jai yen yen, up to them no food/drink.

Edited August 28, 2019 by colinneil

[faraday]

Where do you live coz all of tvf wants to come!

 

Just relax, buy some more beer, & have a great time.

[Tarteso]

Forget the uninvited people, order a few extra beer’s boxes, smile to them and enjoy your special day... like I did! [emoji6]

 

[PatOngo]

Seriously, nothing to worry about, the uninvited guests only want to see how much sin sot you pay to the parents so they have something to talk about for the next week. Relax!

[LomSak27]

10 hours ago, megapix said:

I just cannot imagine that someone not invited will appear in my wedding and I don't have a space or food for them. I mean it is not my problem, but anyway it would bother me.

You are in Thailand. And this makes perfect sense here. No time like the present to get with the program!! 

 

Extra Beer ?!

 

More like Beer    AND    five liters of Sang Som at least. Nah, make it ten.

 

 

Edited August 28, 2019 by LomSak27

[sammieuk1]

Can you give us the exact date and location I don't want to be double booked????

[faraday]

I'll be taking the pick-up, so who wants collecting on the way?

 

We can stay at yours can't we Megapix?

[stephenterry]

Maybe you should ask yourself why you are getting married - no disrespect to you and your bride - when it appears your appreciation of Thai culture is limited - as it WILL affect your lifestyle going forward if you're going to be concerned about controlling anything and everything. 

 

As everyone on here has said, just pay the hotel for the 'extras', relax, and enjoy your day.

 

Wish you all the very best for a happy future.

[jak2002003]

13 minutes ago, stephenterry said:

Maybe you should ask yourself why you are getting married - no disrespect to you and your bride - when it appears your appreciation of Thai culture is limited - as it WILL affect your lifestyle going forward if you're going to be concerned about controlling anything and everything. 

 

As everyone on here has said, just pay the hotel for the 'extras', relax, and enjoy your day.

 

Wish you all the very best for a happy future.

Kind of agree with you.

 

OP, if you are getting married in Thailand, to a Thai women, then I would have thought it better to have a Thai style wedding and party in the village or at the family home.

 

Now, If you were getting married in farang land then sure have the farang style wedding and reception.

 

Going against the grain, or trying to live a min western way of life in Thailand is not going to work out, as many have found the hard way... I fear you will just be making frustration and problems for yourself for no reason.  

 

Good luck with it all anyway.  Go with the flow is the best advise I can give you, and let the Thai family and your wife concern themselves with the uninvited guests who will certainly turn up.  

 

 

Edited August 28, 2019 by jak2002003

[megapix]

52 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

Kind of agree with you.

 

OP, if you are getting married in Thailand, to a Thai women, then I would have thought it better to have a Thai style wedding and party in the village or at the family home.

 

Now, If you were getting married in farang land then sure have the farang style wedding and reception.

 

Going against the grain, or trying to live a min western way of life in Thailand is not going to work out, as many have found the hard way... I fear you will just be making frustration and problems for yourself for no reason.  

 

Good luck with it all anyway.  Go with the flow is the best advise I can give you, and let the Thai family and your wife concern themselves with the uninvited guests who will certainly turn up.  

 

 

Im not going against the grain. I have a Thai ceremony in the morning for family and close friends (mine and hers) and then western style in the evening for more broader audience. Thats how my wife and I wanted it.

 

Probably I havent made some things clear.

 

My wife is born and raised in BKK. Her parents moved to different province to expand their family business. She studied abroad for few years and is well travelled, so she understands western lifestyle. Her parents as well. Yes, they are still Thai enough but enjoy some perks of western lifestyle.

 

I asked for an advice what to do in this case as I never experienced it back in my country and I have been to few weddings already. I got the answer, I will just go with the flow and let her family solve the problem. Thanks

[NCC1701A]

Good luck with your wedding.

 

I wish we had stunners like this in Hua Hin.

 

 

 

Edited August 28, 2019 by NCC1701A

[Sujo]

Same in malaysia. My gf friend invited to a muslim wedding. So friend invited me and my gf. 

 

When groom heard a westerner coming he ordered a box of beer.

 

i think about 40 invited and about double turned up. Was no issue. One leaves a chair and another dives in there. They rarely sit still for 5 mins anyway. Its for socialising so its not formal at all.

 

It all finds a way to work itself out.

 

I didnt get to drink the whole box of beer tho. 

[KiChakayan]

Luckily we got invited to a wedding before we got married. I was shocked when I saw the groom looking like a dressed up ape. Told my beloved  right away that I didn't want such circus. So we agreed to postpone it until after my funeral. And more than 10 years down the road we still boomboom whenever the bike hasn't claimed all my juices for a given day.