Why do Thai people ignore Foreigners when they are speaking and begin speaking over them, interrupting them?

[ravip]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

IMO an immigrant wants to become a part of the country, an expat just wants to live there.

I had no desire to become part of Thai culture- I don't like cruelty to animals, corruption, driving dangerously or worshipping an elephant statue. I liked living there though, as long as it was on my terms.

I have no idea why so many farangs think being able to converse with Thais about food is so important. I had enough Thai to get by, and that was all I needed.

It's an individual thing, isn't it? If someone wants to be a white Thai- up to them, but don't get all superior about it and think oneself is better than a farang that doesn't.

I fitted in fine, to the parts I wanted to, and no Thais ever complained about it, except my wife when she was telling me that it's "Thai culture" to support her family ( soon to be my ex family ).

 

Re Thais speaking over me; when I was with my wife she did the talking, and when I was alone they didn't.

"I liked living there though, as long as it was on my terms."

Now who wouldn't like this, in ANY country? You are joking, aren't you?

 

[Fex Bluse]

44 minutes ago, FredGallaher said:

You really don't seem to like being in Thailand.  You seem to know very little about what's going on around you, so why do you stay? Maybe you are trapped in you own world. Probably time to seek greener pastures.

Fred - mate, are various forms of 

 

'if you don't line it, leave' 

 

the only like of discourse you have in your arsenal? 

 

I ask because it gets rather tedious, and it does nothing to advance the discussion. 

 

I am confident I know more about Thailand than you. I am invited to events here that people you read about and have never met get invited to. I don't want to give myself away, but rest assured some of us with poor opinions of Thailand are not average working class, fixed income retirees. 

 

So, it would be ideal for you to temper your opinions with thr fact that you are not #1 here. I'm not either. 

 

Some of us don't think twice to buy a merc, for fun here. Some of us brush shoulders regularly with Thai soap stars and exceptionally wealthy Thais. Some of us speak Thai fluently. 

 

And STILL have a dismal opinion of Thailand. 

 

Don't focus on the people with the opinions; focus on the opinions themselves. Making baseless assumptions about people's reasons for being here is a waste of everyone's time. 

[Fex Bluse]

1 hour ago, FredGallaher said:

You quite elegantly tell everyone how little you really know about others. Do your exceptionally wealthy and influential friends agree  with your vitreal. If they exist at all. 

I have never arrogantly referred to myself as better than others. However not being Brit it hard for me to appreciate such class distinctions. 

I do speak proper polite Thai and am always welcomed to events here. 

What makes you stay when you hate it here?

 

I stay because I like debating with you. 

 

Can we put this 'if you don't like it' and it's various other forms like 'why do you stay' to bed now? 

 

I mean, does my answer satisfy your curiosity? 

[fhickson]

On 9/10/2019 at 2:58 PM, Fex Bluse said:

I stay because I like debating with you. 

 

Can we put this 'if you don't like it' and it's various other forms like 'why do you stay' to bed now? 

 

I mean, does my answer satisfy your curiosity? 

tell them to shut up just like you would in your country of origin

 

there is no rule you have to be polite more then you ordinarily would just because your traveling in another country

[tifino]

In your answers; all they expect from you, is a Yes or a No 

 - they don't want the details... 

[BritManToo]

On 9/9/2019 at 2:18 PM, Fex Bluse said:

I am confident I know more about Thailand than you. I am invited to events here that people you read about and have never met get invited to. I don't want to give myself away, but rest assured some of us with poor opinions of Thailand are not average working class, fixed income retirees. 

I wouldn't attend any event that invited people like me.

[daveAustin]

You gotta learn the lingo bro, there's no way around it, and then don't be concerned with politely speaking over them.

[ravip]

16 hours ago, fhickson said:

tell them to shut up just like you would in your country of origin

 

there is no rule you have to be polite more then you ordinarily would just because your traveling in another country

I would take your advice with a pinch of salt - it might save my inflated ego... at the cost of my life or limb, under certain circumstances.

[1happykamper]

On this topic... While I have observed similar situations... I have an ever bigger peve....

When I am speaking BASIC THAI there is often ZERO effort put in by a Thai person to listen to me! Oftentimes... The person I'm trying to talk to... Immediately Waves for a colleague to come over and "speak to this farang". So bloody rude! I might not have exactly the right tone... Or accent... I get this... But geez... I wish they would listen and realize I'm speaking in Thai!

Sent from my CLT-L09 using Tapatalk

[Pancho]

before you head out on your sortie, snap a few photos of whatever it is you are trying to communicate. a picture is worth a thousand words, AND it allows the person you are dealing with A) to complete their task, B) gives the person face by successfully dealing with our hopelessly thick species( farang) . Harmony is restored all smile.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[NaamGin]

On 9/1/2019 at 11:53 AM, FritsSikkink said:

Instead of complaining about Thai culture, start learning the language of the country you are living in.

Doesn't change a thing. I speak, read and write Thai, but that does not stop Thais from trying to talk over me to make a point with my wife. My wife usually tells them to talk to me. 

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, NaamGin said:

Doesn't change a thing. I speak, read and write Thai, but that does not stop Thais from trying to talk over me to make a point with my wife. My wife usually tells them to talk to me. 

Must be you then, I haven't got that problem. 

[scorecard]

Why do so many farang sit and talks to their farang friends, often for a couple of hours or more and expect their Thai female (or male) partner to sit there being ignored and no idea what the conversation is all about?

[safarimike11]

On 9/1/2019 at 9:45 AM, ezzra said:

It's really a case of mined over matter, they the Thai people don't mind and foreigners don't matter...

This happened to me a couple of months ago: I was in a Tesco Lotus Express. I had a number of items in my basket and went to the checkout - one of 3 checkouts. I got to the front and the girl served me. She had just billed all the items and told me the total cost and I paid her. She was about to give me my change and this Thai woman customer pushed in front of me with a packet of noodles. The check-out girl (who was probably new) stopped serving me to attend to this other customer; she already had the till open, so I said to this customer (something like): "She is serving me; why can't you wait until we are finished?" The customer said: "Just moment" - by which she meant that I could wait / it was okay for her to push in being as she was just buying a packet of noodles. By this time I had lost it and said: "No, not just a ****ing moment; she is serving me / I was first / you can wait till I am finished". By this time there were 2 other women waiting in my queue, and I said to them: "What, is it okay for her to push in in front of me because I'm not Thai"? (completely wasted as they obviously couldn't understand a word of English). By now, the checkout girl was completely flustered and just handed me my change. Not the first or last time this type of thing has happened.

[Donutz]

On 9/1/2019 at 9:07 AM, Yinn said:

I know my English is not good. My teacher recommend this forum for training English. When I read the English textbook for ten minutes I want to sleep. This is quite fun. 

I know I am late to the party, but I have to respond to this. I think you ate doing the right thing, classes can be rather boring and interaction on a forum is a good way to improve your English. I used to be an absolute failure when it came to English,  low marks etc. But when my English became passable I went to English forums. It improved my writing skills by a lot. It was not only good for my English but also to learn about various worldviews (such as some crazy gun loving Americans). Currently my Thai is rather poor, too poor to hang out on say Pantip, but in 2 years or so from now I do plan to hang out on Thai forums or groups. 

 

Ontopic: I think attitude goes a long way. Be patient,  polite and when  you know there is a language barrier, speak a bit slowly and clearly, try in to throw in some Thai. I don't recall any rude interruptions from staff,  but then I kept my sentences short  (and so would any staff) and only if we were able to communicate would go from there. So I may walk up to a staffer and say 'sawatdee khrap, can you help me?' And wait for their rraponse. If they don't speak English I may give a try with my still very limited Thai. If they reply positively in English, I go with that (and get scolded by my Thai language teacher for not practising my Thai while on holiday 555).

 

I can see it happening that if somebody is emptying a waterfall of foreign words, the other side feels the need to interrupt since listening to a load of words and sentences that they don't understand gets them no where. If a Thai opens a barrage of words at me, I too might interrupted with a 'koh throat na khrap, mai khao Thai, put Thai mai dai/ nit noi'. 

[ZigM]

I've read a few interesting responses here but they don't answer the question. I was married to a Thai for 15 years and, oddly enough, my fiancé is now also Thai. It is telling that despite a huge age gap between my ex and my new wife, both act the same. This goes for all 10 or so Thai females that I know relatively well. I believe I have a general answer to this question. I recently retired from work and reside permanently in Thailand. I still experience the same issues - and always have.

 

For background, Thais are generally absorbed with their appearances, saving face, looking good, wealthy and powerful. What happens behind closed doors is very different to the public personas that are acted out. Added to that, Thais have poor communication skills in their own language and they do not understand how westerners communicate or conduct business.

 

Having said that, here's an example: I went to a restaurant with my fiancé's family. I was asked numerous times during the day whether I'd like to go to a particular restaurant. But instead of taking me to my preferred restaurant as agreed, they took me to a seafood restaurant although they knew I didn't eat seafood. They assumed to order for me as my Thai is limited. Despite them making sure that seafood was not part of my dish, I was served pad Thai with shrimp. Instead of my wife speaking to the waitress, or even better, letting me communicate directly because I am an adult in my sixties, the whole family got involved. Everyone was talking, debating and then arguing with the waitress and then with one another. Everyone wanted to be the hero. At the time, I did not know what was said as my Thai is very limited. Thais don't like admitting to a mistake and it is not polite to lay blame. However, they all blamed it on the junior waitress from Laos because her Thai skills were not good. When everyone had finished debating, I then asked the head waitress whether she spoke English, and she said "yes". When I started explaining the matter calmly, my wife interrupted me and so did her family. They spoke over me because they had allegedly already explained to the waitress the situation. But I had no idea why my food was served with shrimp, what anyone said, whether I was getting a new dish or whether they wanted me to leave the restaurant? I am supposed to blindly rely on a bunch of squabbling people and just sit passively and follow their lead, or what?. After waiting for more than half an hour for my new dish, everyone had finished eating theirs, including deserts. Just as the dish arrived, I said "let's go" because my appetite had vanished. Now everyone got involved again asking why I wasn't hungry, whether I wanted another dish or whatever... The whole evening was a joke. I'm an adult in my sixties for crying out loud. The same when a different restaurant served green curry with pork blood. Sorry, not my thing. Instead of accepting that I'm not going to fish the pork globules out of the sauce for obvious reasons, everyone got involved again until I raised my voice and said: "There's only one person you need to ask what he wants - me. I've told my wife what I wanted - period. Live with it!".

 

The same when I went to buy a tablet for my wife. My daughter in law came with us. This purchase was meant to be personal. However, the daughter took over, she rushed us to her preferred shops and interrogated the sales people on our behalf - all in Thai. I was just a distraction. When it was all over, my wife finally asked "which one do you want to buy me?". I told her to ask her daughter. After some discussions and paying for the tablet, my wife asked what was the matter? I told her that all I did was pay for the bloody thing. This was a gift from me to her and that I should have been involved in all aspects of the purchase and not just present my credit card.

 

Whether it's a car or a house, everyone wants to help. Why don't you move here? Why don't you move there? Why do you want to buy an EV? Why a BYD? Why, why, why..?

 

The same with all other purchases or decisions. Buying a car, a property etc. they don't understand that although I have no rights under Thai law, the fact that I am here and forking out big money means that I should at least get courtesy, respect, you know, the stuff our grandparents tried to teach us? In fact, if I were an old Thai man, there would be no interruptions. Thai society is obviously so focused on themselves, their plight and how appearances will affect THEM that they ignore you until there's a bill to pay. A farang is only as good as long as he spits out money...

 

I wish I was wrong about this but that's over twenty years of experience and  analysing Thais.