Getting Hitched......

[Luckydog]

A good friend of mine just joined The Pattaya Flying Club.

His membership only lasted about 4 seconds!

Well, he only had to drop 6 floors……from his Condo Balcony.

He joined the long list of sad Farangs who have taken the

easy way out of their Marital Problems her in Thailand.

John’s Divorce was going to leave him virtually Baht

and Homeless. And all because he had refused my advice ie to get his beloved to sign a Pre-nuptial Agreement a couple of years ago. Oh, I agree it is not a pleasant thing to ask your future Wife to sign. BUT IT IS ESSENTIAL, imo.

I did it. She refused to talk to me for a week after, it’s true. But when I got Divorced yesterday, it cost me the Solicitor’s fee of just 10,000bht, and that was it!.

Why did it go pear shaped? Well, I had to go back to the UK for 5 months to sell up, and when I got back she was 2 months Pregnant!

In Thai Law even though the child was not mine, I was

seen as the Father, and she was entitled to everything a baby that was actually mine, was entitled to……close your mouth.

Anyway, if you are madly in love with a beautiful, young

Lady, whether she is a prostitute or not, don’t let your Dick

Rule your Head. Protect yourself before you go to the Amphur, with a properly written ‘Prenup’.

And be sure to register it, at the time of signing on the dotted line or it won’t be valid. OK?

Edited March 21, 2007 by Luckydog

[Casanundra]

Sorry to hear about your friend joining the Pattaya flying club.

I often wonder how a Thai woman could ever 'in reaility' take her man to the cleaners using Thai law to lean on the foreign man when all he has to do is walk away and leave the country. It almost makes me cough with disbelief when I hear such stories.

Personally I would have saved myself both the fall (your friend) or the 10,000 baht (that you paid) and just got myself onto a flight out of LOS and let her file for divorce based on abandonment in a few years time instead.

But hey that's just me.

[bendix]

respects to the departed and all that, but isn't his reaction a bit extreme? Why would he have been left bahtless by a simple divorce.

the marital property laws are pretty clear. Everything either side takes INTO a marriage remains their own property after divorce. Only assets acquired while married are subject to be split 50/50.

taking his own life seems a bit much.

and, frankly, an even easier way out of it would have been to simply walk away from her, maybe to another country . . . .i'm not condoning that, of course, but suicide does seem a bit . .well . dramatic in this instance. perhaps there were other reasons contributing to it other than just marital breakdown.

[canuckamuck]

As a farang guy in Thailand, I can assure you that there are many ladies here who see foreigners as a meal ticket; someone to be devoured and discarded. I know girls who will propose marriage right after the first sawatdee ka. Anyone who marries for money is bound is to become a nuisance if not a total disaster to the husband. But the guy who married her might be equally to blame for expecting to find real love with someone who hopped in to bed with him half an hour after they met, if that’s what happened.

A lot of guys are here because the ladies back home will have nothing to do with them. They come over here and suddenly their Brad Pitt. Some of these guys marry the first girl that remembers their name. These guys are like lambs to the slaughter.

Good relationships are harder to find than that, cross cultural relationships are complicated enough, and in a country where marriage is more a career choice than a honest life commitment; people need to do their research. For the most part getting married here is probably a bad idea. Especially for guys who are just here for the nightlife. I know several farangs, male and female, with good marriages, but none of these relationships started in bar in Pattaya or some such place. My wife has plenty of friends who constantly ask her how to get a farang husband; they don’t care if the guy is three hundred pounds and has one eye in the middle of his forehead, just as long as he’s white. It’s a ticket to a better life, where the farang pays and the lady plays. Divorce is the icing on the cake, and it is anticipated more than the wedding. That’s the day she can ditch the dumb farang and get the party started.

It’s not all like that though. My wife is a real sweetheart, and her folks are great too. They never ask for cash, and we haven’t given much outside of annual Christmas presents. They showed me a piece a land where I can build a house one day for free, and I am sure one day I will do just that. Her folks are by no means well off; all they have is some land and a bamboo house. So they have every right to expect something from their daughter’s marriage. But they never ask because they know if things get tough we’ll be there to help.

But if I had thought of it, a pre-nup, it would have been an extra bit of security. I would recommend it to any foreigner marrying in ethically challenged Thailand. Any girl who won’t sign one is likely a sign of trouble ahead.

[bkkmadness]

They showed me a piece a land where I can build a house one day for free

If I buy some land you can you come and build a house on that too if you like.

[canuckamuck]

They showed me a piece a land where I can build a house one day for free

If I buy some land you can you come and build a house on that too if you like.

Nice offer but I don't need another wife, so I'm gonna pass. Let's just be freinds:P

[Luckydog]

respects to the departed and all that, but isn't his reaction a bit extreme? Why would he have been left bahtless by a simple divorce.

the marital property laws are pretty clear. Everything either side takes INTO a marriage remains their own property after divorce. Only assets acquired while married are subject to be split 50/50.

taking his own life seems a bit much.

and, frankly, an even easier way out of it would have been to simply walk away from her, maybe to another country . . . .i'm not condoning that, of course, but suicide does seem a bit . .well . dramatic in this instance. perhaps there were other reasons contributing to it other than just marital breakdown.

With respect I believe you are wrong. Assets acquired prior to marriage are liable to be split 50/50 by Law. Also if one is happy here why should you calmly up and leave because of a stupid Women?

[Luckydog]

As a farang guy in Thailand, I can assure you that there are many ladies here who see foreigners as a meal ticket; someone to be devoured and discarded. I know girls who will propose marriage right after the first sawatdee ka. Anyone who marries for money is bound is to become a nuisance if not a total disaster to the husband. But the guy who married her might be equally to blame for expecting to find real love with someone who hopped in to bed with him half an hour after they met, if that's what happened.

A lot of guys are here because the ladies back home will have nothing to do with them. They come over here and suddenly their Brad Pitt. Some of these guys marry the first girl that remembers their name. These guys are like lambs to the slaughter.

Good relationships are harder to find than that, cross cultural relationships are complicated enough, and in a country where marriage is more a career choice than a honest life commitment; people need to do their research. For the most part getting married here is probably a bad idea. Especially for guys who are just here for the nightlife. I know several farangs, male and female, with good marriages, but none of these relationships started in bar in Pattaya or some such place. My wife has plenty of friends who constantly ask her how to get a farang husband; they don't care if the guy is three hundred pounds and has one eye in the middle of his forehead, just as long as he's white. It's a ticket to a better life, where the farang pays and the lady plays. Divorce is the icing on the cake, and it is anticipated more than the wedding. That's the day she can ditch the dumb farang and get the party started.

It's not all like that though. My wife is a real sweetheart, and her folks are great too. They never ask for cash, and we haven't given much outside of annual Christmas presents. They showed me a piece a land where I can build a house one day for free, and I am sure one day I will do just that. Her folks are by no means well off; all they have is some land and a bamboo house. So they have every right to expect something from their daughter's marriage. But they never ask because they know if things get tough we'll be there to help.

But if I had thought of it, a pre-nup, it would have been an extra bit of security. I would recommend it to any foreigner marrying in ethically challenged Thailand. Any girl who won't sign one is likely a sign of trouble ahead.

Hurrah! It's good to hear a 'nice' story once in a while. Good on ya Pal.

They say don't they that "You can take a girl out of the Bar....BUT you can't take the Bar out of a Girl"......and it's absolutely true, most of the time.

I don't blame them for trying to get as much as they can out of us.....and if we are stupid they will soon clean us out! It's upto us........

[Casanundra]

With respect I believe you are wrong. Assets acquired prior to marriage are liable to be split 50/50 by Law. Also if one is happy here why should you calmly up and leave because of a stupid Women?

Sorry but you are wrong and Bendix is right. Under THAI law what each party had before the wedding remains 100% theirs. What is obtained after the marriage is subject to a 50:50 split. Of course proving what was yours before and what was acquired after is another matter completely.

As for leaving Thailand because of some woman claiming otherwise and stripping the man clean of all his assets, well if the alternative is throwing yourself off a high building then surely leaving Thailand is the better of the two options.

[jumnien]

Usually the term "flying club" refers to powered aircraft. Perhaps, Pattaya Amateur Gliding Association would be more appropriate.

[bendix]

With respect I believe you are wrong.

Ummmm . with respect, I'm not wrong. I'm right.

Ask a lawyer.

And with respect to your friend, taking 10 minutes to find out facts such as these would mean that he would be alive and well today.

Tragic. Truly tragic.

[Maestro]

Under THAI law what each party had before the wedding remains 100% theirs. What is obtained after the marriage is subject to a 50:50 split. Of course proving what was yours before and what was acquired after is another matter completely.

As part of the amphur marriage registration, both persons are asked the value of their assets and this gets recorded. You don’t get a copy automatically; you have to ask for it. Give it to your embassy when you register your marriage there, so that it becomes part of your country’s record of your marriage, and keep a copy for yourself, if you wish. Later, you can get a copy of it at any time from the amphur for a small fee, I believe 20 Baht.

--

Maestro

[bkkmadness]

With respect I believe you are wrong.

Ummmm . with respect, I'm not wrong. I'm right.

Ask a lawyer.

And with respect to your friend, taking 10 minutes to find out facts such as these would mean that he would be alive and well today.

Tragic. Truly tragic.

That does add an extra level of tragedy to the whole thing.

Horrible situation but there's better ways out than suicide. Run from the law and leave the country if you have to, anything but that.

[a2396]

In my opinion, the vast majority of these Thia lady/Farang man pairings are based on money, particularly where there is a sizable age difference. Best not to marry on at all, unless you need to do so to take her back to your country. As for the balcony jumper, perhaps he had a little assistance, ie pushed. I had a jelous boyfriend once try to shove me to a balcony in my GF's apt. Convenient: no weapons, no witnesses, looks like an accident. Fortunately, he couldn't move me. I have been through 7 GF's in the past 2 years and none of them could be trusted. They were NOT bar girls, beer girls, etc, etc.

[November Rain]

D'you think you guys could possibly muster just a little respect for the dead? Pattaya Flying Club? That's sick. The poor guy, whatever his reasoning, is dead. Tragic incidences should not be mocked, IMO.

[Casanundra]

Under THAI law what each party had before the wedding remains 100% theirs. What is obtained after the marriage is subject to a 50:50 split. Of course proving what was yours before and what was acquired after is another matter completely.

As part of the amphur marriage registration, both persons are asked the value of their assets and this gets recorded. You don’t get a copy automatically; you have to ask for it. Give it to your embassy when you register your marriage there, so that it becomes part of your country’s record of your marriage, and keep a copy for yourself, if you wish. Later, you can get a copy of it at any time from the amphur for a small fee, I believe 20 Baht.

--

Maestro

I don't recall being asked the value of my assets at the amphur. Maybe they asked that bit while I was too busy looking out of the window wondering when I could get back into the sun and just took my grunt as a nominal sum that will come and haunt me later

[bendix]

D'you think you guys could possibly muster just a little respect for the dead? Pattaya Flying Club? That's sick. The poor guy, whatever his reasoning, is dead. Tragic incidences should not be mocked, IMO.

Actually, NR, the fact the OP used that term to describe 'a good friend of his' leads me to doubt the veracity of the whole story anyway.

[Luckydog]

With respect I believe you are wrong.

Ummmm . with respect, I'm not wrong. I'm right.

Ask a lawyer.

And with respect to your friend, taking 10 minutes to find out facts such as these would mean that he would be alive and well today.

Tragic. Truly tragic.

If you are right then making a 'Prenup' is a waste of time is it not?

My Lawyer, who is a good one,told me that the Missus would be entitled to half of everything if we parted company.....

[Luckydog]

Under THAI law what each party had before the wedding remains 100% theirs. What is obtained after the marriage is subject to a 50:50 split. Of course proving what was yours before and what was acquired after is another matter completely.

As part of the amphur marriage registration, both persons are asked the value of their assets and this gets recorded. You don't get a copy automatically; you have to ask for it. Give it to your embassy when you register your marriage there, so that it becomes part of your country's record of your marriage, and keep a copy for yourself, if you wish. Later, you can get a copy of it at any time from the amphur for a small fee, I believe 20 Baht.

--

Maestro

First I have heard of any of this! The Amphur never asked any such thing when we got hitched etc.

[Casanundra]

If you are right then making a 'Prenup' is a waste of time is it not?

My Lawyer, who is a good one,told me that the Missus would be entitled to half of everything if we parted company.....

He is right. I work at the law faculty and put this question to about 58 lawyers yesterday for clarity and they confirmed it.

Your good lawyer is also correct but he probably didn't put it in the same way that myself and Bendix did in that only what you purchase 'after' the wedding is split 50:50.

[bendix]

Give up Casanundra. The OP obviously is happiest believing what he wants to believe - we're always happier when we're morally outraged or believe we're victims of some huge conspiracy, don't you find?

It sounds to me like he either didnt ask his lawyer the right question, or the lawyer didnt completely understand it, or the answer was interpreted in the wrong way.