Urgent advice, getting rid of psychopath Thai brother...

[NCC1701A]

so this is the marriage, family and children forum. 

 

I am going back to the motorcycle forum where it is safe.

[CharlieH]

Unhelpful flame style post removed along with responses to it.

[luk AJ]

I think this is a dangerous situation which easily can escalate. I don’t believe that the suggestion to take daughter and wife to somewhere else is going to work. I expect she will refuse to leave her family. So there is unfortunately no easy solution. My recommendation is to get out now, create distance so you can calm down and assess the situation. Evaluate your options and hopefully find a way out.
I expect the family will deal with him.


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[englishoak]

4 hours ago, steven100 said:

OP ….  take Colinneil's and Charlies advice ….. move far far away as possible with your wife and daughter if you can.

Forget the damn motorbike … it means nothing, stolen or whatever, who cares about a damn bike.

Just calm down, and methodically plan to relocate far far away.  Never speak to them again.

 

Absolutely this is the smartest and simplest thing to do. 

 

[jmansilla]

53 minutes ago, luk AJ said:

I think this is a dangerous situation which easily can escalate. I don’t believe that the suggestion to take daughter and wife to somewhere else is going to work. I expect she will refuse to leave her family. So there is unfortunately no easy solution. My recommendation is to get out now, create distance so you can calm down and assess the situation. Evaluate your options and hopefully find a way out.
I expect the family will deal with him.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

Thanks, finally someone with some good input and based on your # of post, you have some experience and rationality, you are 100% on the family thing and they have a nice home there, the Grandfather is actually really great and helpful and agrees he should have beaten the brothers ass when he was very young and starting to become a troublemaker! Also I think the Grandfather finally gets it and the girlfriend is slowly coming around that the brother is not just crazy ting tong haha but criminally insane and has no sense of reality and nothing to lose by hurting anyone, no job, no money and a drug and alcohol addiction and they need to wake the heck up, also the mother is the brothers only source of income and that is very limited and she will get most of the daily abuse! Tomorrow we will try the issue with the motorbike since the value is way more than drugs and he has to produce some kind of paperwork to prove it's his and not stolen which he won't be able to do and hopefully a little ahem, friendly donation for doing such a standup job will help get him locked up where he needs to be and should have been years ago, some time in the monkey house will sort him out when he has to deal with bigger and badder psychopaths than him on a daily basis, I am sure he will turn into a lifer eventually in that environment!

[dotpoom]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

TL:DR

Best not to associate with Thais, then you won't encounter these problems.

Move somewhere far from your gfs family, tell her she can come, if she wants.

Good idea....what about his daughter?

[hobz]

Pay the cops to help you.

 

With some money incentive I'm sure they can come up with a number of ways to put him in a cage

[Chazar]

Dump the lot of  them.

[TheFishman1]

I will keep this as short as possible go to the cop shop give them 10,000. Bht will be the best bhtyou ever spend TOT

[amykat]

I would think twice about trying so hard to put him in jail.  What do people learn in jail?  They learn how to become better criminals and get more criminal friends usually.  If this man is going to be in your family ...I would try a more long term approach and you would have some resentment to deal with after.  Plus, I don’t believe anyone will do it for this petty thing ...the family, the police, etc.

 

They might take your money, and then his Mom will just pay them more.  Which will probably come from you somehow.

[rwill]

Don't know what to say.  Glad I never had this kind of problem.  My wife stays far away from those in her family she doesn't like or trust.  

As far as getting the bike taken away you will probably just be creating an even bigger enemy out of him and have more problems to deal with from him.  I suppose you could try and find out who the creditor is on the bike and tell them where it is.

Best solution as others have mentioned is to move away from there and don't let the family know where you live.  Just visit them if needed.

[phantomfiddler]

Have you considered the possibility that this guy may be her husband ?

[davemos]

I had a gf son who was violent and on yabba He beat up his mother I took him to gov rehab ..no good. My by now ex took him to a doctor who prescribed anti psychotic drugs .He is very docile now but requires supervision to take his meds. I decided that the only solution was to remove myself from possible harms way . Ice is a horror drug and few come back from it  Good luck!

[jmansilla]

56 minutes ago, rwill said:

"I suppose you could try and find out who the creditor is on the bike and tell them where it is."

 

I have been trying but so far no luck, that was one of the purposes of the post, to email or pm the license number to someone here who has the means to do it, I was hoping that info is available when the police pull it up just like many other countries!

[jmansilla]

1 hour ago, amykat said:

I would think twice about trying so hard to put him in jail.  What do people learn in jail?  They learn how to become better criminals and get more criminal friends usually.  If this man is going to be in your family ...I would try a more long term approach and you would have some resentment to deal with after.  Plus, I don’t believe anyone will do it for this petty thing ...the family, the police, etc.

 

They might take your money, and then his Mom will just pay them more.  Which will probably come from you somehow.

I know, the Thai revenge thing for losing face, probably the worst thing about living here!

[sillyfool]

offer him a big hug ? ????

 

either one of you goes away or the problem it seems won't. when you keep butting heads with a thai ...sounds like you know where it leads. 

 

as hard as it might be moving away to another place in thailand with your gf and daughter that may be the solution. all be it the hardest choice to make it seems. maybe offer a gift basket to him as a way to make amends. 

 

 

good luck and stay safe. 

 

 

[GreasyFingers]

Different situation to yours and not dangerous, but we had an older men chasing the 15yo daughter. The wife went to the District police office, not the local, and had an police agreement drawn up that he could not contact her or be within 500 metres of her. You say the local police are useless but the District office might help. If not the Provincial police office may be able to do something.

If your daughter is in danger from him they may do a similar agreement. It was all in Thai so cannot tell you what the document was but the title was

[jmansilla]

5 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

Different situation to yours and not dangerous, but we had an older men chasing the 15yo daughter. The wife went to the District police office, not the local, and had an police agreement drawn up that he could not contact her or be within 500 metres of her. You say the local police are useless but the District office might help. If not the Provincial police office may be able to do something.

If your daughter is in danger from him they may do a similar agreement. It was all in Thai so cannot tell you what the document was but the title was

Thanks, not sure how that would work out, the mother lives across from the daughter and girlfriend on the same little Soi!

[Dolmance]

Just asking, but do you have a very long flight of stairs in your home?

 

Just take it from there.

[tandor]

18 hours ago, CharlieH said:

If you cant fix the situation, and you probably wont, remove yourself and your loved ones from it.

 

...sounds exactly like my lot..keep your wits about you..stand your ground.

[jmansilla]

14 minutes ago, sillyfool said:

offer him a big hug ? ????

 

either one of you goes away or the problem it seems won't. when you keep butting heads with a thai ...sounds like you know where it leads. 

 

as hard as it might be moving away to another place in thailand with your gf and daughter that may be the solution. all be it the hardest choice to make it seems. maybe offer a gift basket to him as a way to make amends. 

 

 

good luck and stay safe. 

 

 

I know, funny but not funny, I have thought about that but realize it is never going to end with this guy, there will always be something to set him off and right now it's him bullying his mother for drug money, maybe wait it out to see where that goes but the girlfriend is the next target because he thinks I have vaults full of gold bars and he is entitled to as much as he want's!

[Mick501]

Is there such a thing as restraining orders in LoS?   

 

Ice effects different people in different ways, but in some cases there is no reasoning with the user.  They are erratic, unpredictable, and don't make rational decisions.   Sounds like this is the case here.  If that's right, there is nothing you can do to change his behaviour.  Many families living with an ice addict have experienced the same thing.

 

reach out to a support group of others who have experienced the same thing.  Should be plenty of advice available.

[jmansilla]

1 minute ago, tandor said:

...sounds exactly like my lot..keep your wits about you..stand your ground.

That is the hardest part, I am the rational one by staying away but I am sure that just fuels his delusions of being a big mafia guy! I am just tired of constantly having to back down for fear of the Thai revenge and probably what sparked all of this, it has just gotten really bad, not sure if it is the news or rubbish they see on Thai drama show, again, the "Just look at me wrong and I will stab or shoot you" 

 

I drive to take my daughter to school and just in the past 2 months I have seen to incidents, a lady plowed into a small tractor that was going slow and even staying as far as he could on the shoulder of the road but she exploded when she got out of her truck because it was his fault for not getting out of the way, what?? The other was 3 cars in what looked like a Nascar race, they were all on each others bumper and being really crazy. Finally one got bumped into the ditch and flipped the car many times, the driver was ejected, neither one of the other 2 cars stopped as expected! I think I will just become a hermit!

[arend]

Confrontation only escalates the situation esp here.. violence only leads to regrettable ends... reason with a psychopath is futile... family loyalties will over-ride a consensus solution... You need to separate and distance yourself physically... obviously needs to be in a way that wife can visit her family... You need a support system but here in TL is difficult... Maybe, there is group here of farangs with similar marriage/family problems.. I know, unlikely, but check it out... You need support...

[Skallywag]

2 minutes ago, arend said:

 You need to separate and distance yourself physically... obviously needs to be in a way that wife can visit her family..

No experience building a house for a girlfriend, but no one in their right mind would build a house on the same soi next to their family or in-laws where I come from.  Guess it is more common in Thailand, IDK

 

Get yourself and family out, and maybe put the house up for sale .  What dies girlfriend say about it?

 

(didn't read your whole diatribe, so may be missing a point or 2)

[spidermike007]

Pack up your entire family, and move hundreds of kilometers away from the family, until they come to their sense and exile the brother. He is nothing but trouble, and does not deserve any support from anyone. If the mother is too weak to see that, it is her issue, and her cross to bear. Hope your wife gets it and supports you.

[kingofthemountain]

9 hours ago, jmansilla said:

Thanks, finally someone with some good input and based on your # of post, you have some experience and rationality, you are 100% on the family thing and they have a nice home there, the Grandfather is actually really great and helpful and agrees he should have beaten the brothers ass when he was very young and starting to become a troublemaker! Also I think the Grandfather finally gets it and the girlfriend is slowly coming around that the brother is not just crazy ting tong haha but criminally insane and has no sense of reality and nothing to lose by hurting anyone, no job, no money and a drug and alcohol addiction and they need to wake the heck up, also the mother is the brothers only source of income and that is very limited and she will get most of the daily abuse! Tomorrow we will try the issue with the motorbike since the value is way more than drugs and he has to produce some kind of paperwork to prove it's his and not stolen which he won't be able to do and hopefully a little ahem, friendly donation for doing such a standup job will help get him locked up where he needs to be and should have been years ago, some time in the monkey house will sort him out when he has to deal with bigger and badder psychopaths than him on a daily basis, I am sure he will turn into a lifer eventually in that environment!

What exactly you do not understand in the sentence '' They are not your family'' ?

[kingofthemountain]

55 minutes ago, jmansilla said:

I know, funny but not funny, I have thought about that but realize it is never going to end with this guy, there will always be something to set him off and right now it's him bullying his mother for drug money, maybe wait it out to see where that goes but the girlfriend is the next target because he thinks I have vaults full of gold bars and he is entitled to as much as he want's!

Not funny at all

you are actualy in big trouble

your life is treatened and it's an emergency case

the real target is not the mother or the sister or whosoever thai or family

it's YOU !!!

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2-MCPa_3rU

 

[kingofthemountain]

31 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

No experience building a house for a girlfriend, but no one in their right mind would build a house on the same soi next to their family or in-laws where I come from.  Guess it is more common in Thailand, IDK....

Yes very common in Thailand

in the small villages most of the families are on the same lot of land

Originally land was free for who was able to reclaim it then the ancestors had cleared a very large plot 

later parts of the plots was given to the children to build their houses, then title deeds were issued to the occupants by the authorities.

It's why most of the time the farang is building a house on the GF/Wife land, they do not have to pay the land and the girl is back with his family (Most of the thais, particulary the women, are more happy if they live near the family) . Also the farang is out of his ''confort zone'', the GF/wife become an indispensable help and he is also for some reasons (Less temptations, general supervision by the others thais...) less inclined to cheat on his wife.

To do it short it's sometime a good idea, sometimes (Like in this case) not

but the thais are never the losers

[UKresonant]

Leave the area ASAP with no forwarding address, think of your own personal safety, and to avoid further conflict as a first priority.

If you can get a restriction order to ensure he does not go anywhere near your daughter, good, second priority.

Keep any knowledge of your money and assets strictly in your head, don't even tell your hair.

Set up a small maintenance, standing order, from a Thai bank Head office (not in the area you are staying), to the father of GF and to your Daughter, any more hassle or injury, it should be obvious (especially to the father) that the money will discontinue....

Obviously good if Daughter and GF were with you, but would they, keep the new location secret, and only have future contact with the Family at secure public venues, remote from your new location?

Edited September 23, 2019 by UKresonant