Tatted Thai Thug Boy

[Puchaiyank]

Buy you a baseball bat...keep it near the front door...pick it up when he becomes threatening...be prepared to hit a homerun!   ????

[mauGR1]

Some good advice here; to keep it short, try to keep the peace, but be ready for the war.

[Yinn]

2 hours ago, Dogberry said:

My apologies if I offended anyone about tats. 

He where the singlet? 

Is wifebeater fashion. 

[RichardColeman]

Money for Tats, money for milk and diapers

[amykat]

Dogberry,

 

That boy has no legal rights to the baby right?  They never married.  He did not legalize his fatherhood, does not pay child support.  He is a woman beater surely will be a child beater when agitated.  At his age probably has nothing to offer as a Father anyway.  His Mother is the one pushing him to do this.  She wants him to have a baby to take care of him when he is old.  Might be a well educated, English speaking child from a farang family ...all the better.

 

You have no idea how many unsafe situations your grandchild is in while visiting over there.  At risk of all kinds of accidents and as the child gets older the total lack of boundaries  ....it will make your life hell.  
 

I lived a similar situation for a few years, on and off, with a family when I adopted a half Thai child.  The British father ran away due to death threats from the Mother.  I highly suggest you just cut off contact and keep it that way.  There is nothing good that will come of this relationship.  It is totally self serving trying to build love and bonds for future money payments from the child.  That is why they will always insist on sleeping over.  Your hell has only just started, trust me on that.  Easier to cut it off now before you are getting death threats and kidnapping like I did and treated like a nanny who works for them.

[USNret]

14 hours ago, Matzzon said:

I hope you are not calling me an idiot! I happen to have three tattoos, so that would be a problem. However, I do not think you are that kind of a bad person to call a complete stranger an idiot, so now we must get to a solution we all can live with.

I´ve never sailed or done something that can be connected to beeing a sailor. Niether have I ever been convicted of something and thrown in jail, so I can not be an ex con.
I guess that only leaves bargirls on the table, so to say. That I have to be a bargirl!?

Do you have any clue about how severe insult you´ve just been posting?

Oh for heavens sake... Is this a joke or are you really offended? You really need to get thicker skin. As insults go, this is about zero on a scale of 1 to 10.

[Dogberry]

First off, I do appreciate all the constructive comments. Thank you. Secondly I stepped right up after my initial post and apologized for the tat comments. I realized my belief system needs an upgrade at times. Heck, my grown daughter in the US has a couple of really nice tattoos that I like. Buddhist tats, Maori Tats a different thing. This juvenile delinquent is adorned with all the accouterments of his life style. Ugly ugly tattoos. I judged him for it and I'm not far off the mark. Please accept my apologies again as none of the was directed to anyone other than baby-daddy. 

[Dogberry]

15 hours ago, 473geo said:

I understand the situation, but you are coming across as being awkward, for no real reason, especially if you accept the guy has a role to play

 I don't know what you mean by awkward. How so, please.

[Dogberry]

15 hours ago, beau thai said:

Sorry to say, I fear you are right. I think OP will have to lower his expectations, and think of the granddaughter as the responsibility of him and his wife.

My only hoped for expectation is not to get punched out. 

 

So I should just <deleted> and foot the bill? I suppose I could but It sure rankles me. And as stated what else will he want after that? Sheeech!

 

[473geo]

3 minutes ago, Dogberry said:

 I don't know what you mean by awkward. How so, please.

 

Not helpful on this occasion, deliberately not supportive when you could easily do so

[Dogberry]

13 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

Money for Tats, money for milk and diapers

????

[Matzzon]

1 hour ago, USNret said:

Oh for heavens sake... Is this a joke or are you really offended? You really need to get thicker skin. As insults go, this is about zero on a scale of 1 to 10.

It´s a joke. Only you and one more got it yet. 

 

Really? Why would I make out an explaination that makes me a bargirl? It´s not even possible. Though more would get it, but it´s really thick out there. 

[Dogberry]

6 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Not helpful on this occasion, deliberately not supportive when you could easily do so

Hummm. Yes, we have all the supplies anyway. I could just hand her stuff over and be done with it. 

 

[473geo]

7 minutes ago, Dogberry said:

Hummm. Yes, we have all the supplies anyway. I could just hand her stuff over and be done with it. 

 

You say you are ok if he is involved, enough for one more day would have sent a different message to your refusal

[Dogberry]

12 hours ago, amykat said:

That boy has no legal rights to the baby right?  They never married.  He did not legalize his fatherhood, does not pay child support.  He is a woman beater surely will be a child beater when agitated.  At his age probably has nothing to offer as a Father anyway.  His Mother is the one pushing him to do this.  She wants him to have a baby to take care of him when he is old.  Might be a well educated, English speaking child from a farang family ...all the better.

Legalize his fatherhood? I'm not sure! Yes, they are not married, he pays not 1 baht towards her support. His name is on the birth certificate but the baby has her mothers last name. He is a bonafide, verified woman beater and a hairs breadth away from an old man beater. 

 

You might be correct about his mother. I've never met her nor has she ever made overtures to my wife or anything.

[Dogberry]

1 minute ago, 473geo said:

You say you are ok if he is involved, enough for one more day would have sent a different message to your refusal

Well I have to admit you're correct. 

[Yinn]

17 minutes ago, Dogberry said:

Hummm. Yes, we have all the supplies anyway. I could just hand her stuff over and be done with it. 

 

I understand you angry.

but peace is better way.

because is family, you connection forever.

 

Take him shopping with you to buy it. Make him see how you do it, for help his daughter. You pay. Buy him something to be friendly.

 

You the smart guy, he the idiot, but better have peaceful. 

He young/stupid. You wise/old. 

[Dogberry]

Well this is mash-up isn't it. Look, I can well afford to buy her necessities. He has no job. I won't say I'm happy about it but as with so, so, many things in Thailand I just gotta let it go to survive and perhaps thrive, or at least not suffer a beating 55. But that's the crux isn't it. Intimated into compliance?  

[Dogberry]

11 minutes ago, Yinn said:

I understand you angry.

but peace is better way.

because is family, you connection forever.

 

Take him shopping with you to buy it. Make him see how you do it, for help his daughter. You pay. Buy him something to be friendly.

 

You the smart guy, he the idiot, but better have peaceful. 

He young/stupid. You wise/old. 

WOW. Your kind and generous words are appreciated.

[Dogberry]

16 hours ago, FarFlungFalang said:

Instead be the master negotiator and steer his thoughts away from violence and then you will savor your win all the more.

Thank you. Well this old dog CAN learn new tricks. 

 

[Vacuum]

16 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe, just maybe, someone has to explain to him what the baby needs.

Maybe the mother of the child, perhaps they're not living together anymore OP didn't mention anything about her.

[Dogberry]

16 hours ago, beau thai said:

Sorry to say, I fear you are right. I think OP will have to lower his expectations, and think of the granddaughter as the responsibility of him and his wife. The father probably views him as another farang ATM, and I doubt this guy has the finances to pay for stuff for his daughter, and would probably see a round of drinks with his pals as a higher priority.  Not unusual for these young guys to use or threaten violence aganist their own blood, so the OP should not expect him to be passive.  Put the baby first and accept the father is unlikely to change.

100%

[Chazar]

16 hours ago, Matzzon said:

Do you have any clue about how severe insult you´ve just been posting?

It could be worse he could have mentioned my fruitc**e  word.????

[Just Weird]

17 hours ago, Dogberry said:

Yesterday he had our sweetie at his mom’s place and for whatever reason decided to keep her another night. So what does he do? He drives right past 7, Tesco AND a baby supply place to arrive at my door demanding a new box of formula AND, get this, more diapers.

 

I told him no.

Really, you refused?  So much for your deep concern about your sweetie that you refused vital supplies for her.

 

Get this, how can you live with yourself?

[Dogberry]

6 minutes ago, Vacuum said:

Maybe the mother of the child, perhaps they're not living together anymore OP didn't mention anything about her.

The baby's mother lives here with us. She is rightly afraid him and they have no contact other than handing over the child when he decides he's gonna pony up to fatherhood.

[thequietman]

17 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

Sailors, ex cons, bargirls and idiots I would say.

So ........... what kind of tattoo have you got? ????

[holy cow cm]

Just tattoo on the baby's head: My Foreigner Grandfather Dogberry loves me more than Thai father the loser.

 

He doesn't care about the kid, only his mother does. Just make it clear, he wants to take the little girl out, he needs to have his mother buy the goods. Who cares about his little feelings. 

 

But there might be the one day the baby does not come back, or if he gets mad and irked enough, loses his temper and maybe uses force on the kid and she dies. Or does it out of spite. Just because your step daughter opened her legs and had a baby doesn't make it right he gets to be a part of the kids life all because of his mother pushing him. Kids are expensive and a huge responsibility. 

 

Sorry, I am not as understanding say as like Yinn or others. Best thing you could do is pay for Trade School for him if he really cares, but then again your stepdaughter has zero to do with him and why should you either?

[Yinn]

7 hours ago, Dogberry said:

WOW. Your kind and generous words are appreciated.

He the young guy. Probably low education, probably low education parent. 

He not will be fix in one day. You must patiently.

 

But maybe when he older more, he will see you the good guy. Life will be better. 

You think he the bad dad. I agree. But he not know himself. He just think you stop him see his kid, will be angry. 

 

Some me young boy terrible 15-20 age. But 25 up start be the man. 

 

Good luck

[Yinn]

6 hours ago, holy cow cm said:

 Best thing you could do is pay for Trade School for him 

I think not the good idea. He probably fail/drop out.

just will be pressure for him/disappointment for Grandpa waste money. Will cause more hate. 

 

He must want want to do himself. This age, they not listen, think they know everything themself. 

[sirineou]

7 minutes ago, Yinn said:

He the young guy. Probably low education, probably low education parent. 

He not will be fix in one day. You must patiently.

 

But maybe when he older more, he will see you the good guy. Life will be better. 

You think he the bad dad. I agree. But he not know himself. He just think you stop him see his kid, will be angry. 

 

Some me young boy terrible 15-20 age. But 25 up start be the man. 

 

Good luck

 From reading the OP, Dogberry was being reasonable and accommodating  

The problem is that he try to extort (obtain something by force )and threaten the OP with physical violence.

I think he need to go back and apologize to Dogberry, or go away. If he is ready to threaten an old man, what is he going to do to a young girl when things become stressful, as they always do with children? 

I hear what you are saying, he is growing up. IMO he needs to grow up a litle faster, especially if he wants to be a Dad.