Diary of a farang in Isaan

[owl sees all]

26 minutes ago, FarFlungFalang said:

Sorry Peter I should have watched the video before posting.I was going to edit but i'm being absolutely plagued by error 522.

That error 522 is a real bummer.

 

I don't have the problem now, as I've switched browsers and search engines, but I know a Frenchman who has problems; big time.

[bluesofa]

54 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

That error 522 is a real bummer.

 

I don't have the problem now, as I've switched browsers and search engines, but I know a Frenchman who has problems; big time.

Probably using a French search engine, they cause me problems.

[chickenslegs]

33 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

Probably using a French search engine, they cause me problems.

If you need French lessons I'm sure you will find a teacher here ...

[owl sees all]

8 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

If you need French lessons I'm sure you will find a teacher here ...

 

A lady for every occasion. Not seen pics like that in Dagenham tel-boxes.

 

Everyone's a winner.

[bluesofa]

8 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

If you need French lessons I'm sure you will find a teacher here ...

Here endeth the first lesson,

[sotonowl]

23 hours ago, owl sees all said:

 

Good to see you are in the money fellow Owl.

 

At the mo' it doesn't look as if the stripy blues will be playing the stripy reds next season. That's a shame.

 

Refresh my memory please; did The Owls get to two cup finals in one season a few years back?

 

Yes Owl, played Arsenal in both, 1993. Lost both.

[owl sees all]

16 minutes ago, sotonowl said:

Yes Owl, played Arsenal in both, 1993. Lost both.

Never been a fan of the Gunners, but can't recall who I was rooting for.

 

Should have remembered that,. Not often happens. Losing brain cells fast. Hope Mrs Owl doesn't notice.

[owl sees all]

10 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

If you need French lessons I'm sure you will find a teacher here ...

 

Don't suppose you took note of any phone numbers did you CL?

 

 

 

[bluesofa]

2 hours ago, owl sees all said:

Never been a fan of the Gunners, but can't recall who I was rooting for.

 

Should have remembered that,. Not often happens. Losing brain cells fast. Hope Mrs Owl doesn't notice.

Don't worry, I'm sure Mrs Owl remembers where your wallet is.

[chickenslegs]

1 hour ago, owl sees all said:

 

Don't suppose you took note of any phone numbers did you CL?

 

 

 

Last time I was in a phone box they had a button A and a button B.

I got Miss Whiplash's number, but she is probably in her 70's now.

[owl sees all]

31 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

Last time I was in a phone box they had a button A and a button B.

I got Miss Whiplash's number, but she is probably in her 70's now.

 

I used to write a monthly piece for a UK sport's mag'.

 

One month I went on and on about the UK's fastest growing sport; that of 'feet washing'. Such things as setting up an International organisation to push for Olympic status. And dress code. At the end of the article I included a phone number for anyone wishing to take up this new dynamic sport of feet washing.

 

When phoning this number the dialer would get a very seductive female voice telling the caller she was busy washing her feet and suggested that if they wanted true satisfaction they should join the club and to try it themselves.

 

Some people realised the date; some didn't (same as my profile).

[Peter Denis]

5 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

...

One month I went on and on about the UK's fastest growing sport; that of 'feet washing'. Such things as setting up an International organisation to push for Olympic status. And dress code. At the end of the article I included a phone number for anyone wishing to take up this new dynamic sport of feet washing.

...

Other little known olympic disciplines...

 

[Andrew Dwyer]

1 hour ago, chickenslegs said:

Last time I was in a phone box they had a button A and a button B.

I got Miss Whiplash's number, but she is probably in her 70's now.

“ Miss Whiplash “ brought back memories of a little anecdote, a little off topic but worth reading, and true !!

 

Back in 92/93 the Queen started paying tax and to test the integrity of the system and its employees a journalist on a daily rag was given the task of interviewing the person responsible for the Queen’s tax and seeing what they could wheedle out of her.

So, the London based journalist drove up to Shipley, West Yorkshire ( the office responsible ) to interview the tax officer.Unfortunately the tax officer was reported as being “ on the sick “ , the journalist procured her address and decided to make a home visit.

Nobody appeared to be at home but to her delight a neighbour told the journo that the lady in question was in Spain on one of her many holidays. The journo, already sensing a scandal, got permission from her boss and headed off on a plane.

How she tracked the tax officer down is a bit unclear, she has her snouts !!, but imagine her further delight when the journalist found that the Queen’s tax officer was working nightly in a house of ill repute under the name of Baby Blue !!

 

Fast forward a couple of days and I was working one Sunday ( Double Bubble !! ) in an engineering factory in Shipley, W Yorks .

At first break a couple of colleagues, Kevin and Phil , were overly excited over a double page spread in a Sunday national rag !!

I glanced over their shoulders and got the drift of the story but was suitably impressed when Kevin proclaimed “ that is Keith’s ex wife “ !! ( Keith being another colleague).

Kevin called Keith and ask him “ have you seen today’s paper “

 “ no “ replied Keith, oblivious.

” well you should probably take a look “ Kevin informed him and hung up.

 

A couple of hours later Keith strolled into the factory with the paper under his arm.

As expected we downed tools to get more info from Keith, he didn’t know anything about her “ hobby “ but did say the immortal line .

” when I was married to her she didn’t even like sex “ !!

[bluesofa]

26 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

As expected we downed tools to get more info from Keith, he didn’t know anything about her “ hobby “ but did say the immortal line .

” when I was married to her she didn’t even like sex “ !!

Her enjoyment of the act must have been proportional to the amount paid each time.

[Andrew Dwyer]

46 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

Her enjoyment of the act must have been proportional to the amount paid each time.

Yes , Keith probably wasn’t paying her enough !!

 

Actually thinking about my little earlier story, she probably wasn’t the Queen’s tax officer but someone who had access to information about HRM or was just a general check on tax office security as the Queen starting to pay tax was a big story at the time.

 

But the rest of the story was true and poor old Keith got the “ whiplash “ from wagging tongues. ????

[owl sees all]

Owl Log - 02-03-2021 - Tuesday afternoon

 

Mrs Owl and her gang went off to the croc' Buddha on Sunday. They returned moaning and groaning about there being so many people that they had to par k up 1 kilometre away and walk to the site.

 

When they finally arrived the early birds were leaving. Not to worry there was another show.

 

 

This time the blues performed.

 

 

What did I miss?! I just love a dancing lady; or two. Providing the music is not too loud.

 

 

Nang (right) and Sister Land getting their dosh ready.

 

 

"Did you see the croc teerak?"

"Crocodile scared. Hiding. Too busy."

 

 

"We go again. When not busy. See crocodile."

 

And true to her word, the Mrs and Pook went again this morning (Tuesday).

 

Croc' pond. Very quiet.

 

 

"Did you see the crocodile teerak?"

"Two."

 

 

 

And the biggeeeee!

 

 

 

Still under construction.

 

Strange that everyone was giving over 200 Baht for croc' food.

 

Something tells me that this croc' thing could be a good earner.

 

The lucky numbers gleaned for the 1st March Lottery failed to do the biz. The wife returned with numbers 4, 5 and 7. So did a combination of those. Alas 73 was the two-digit winner. 

 

"Did you get any numbers today teerak. For next time?"

"They not give. Too early. Not know yet."

 

"And what about the real crocodile teerak; the live one?"

"They will get. Soon. Maybe two!"

 

Excitement/disappointment over for 10 days or so.

 

Bye y'all.

[FarFlungFalang]

18 hours ago, bluesofa said:

Probably using a French search engine, they cause me problems.

It's probably because our search engines are in our pants!

[bluesofa]

25 minutes ago, FarFlungFalang said:

18 hours ago, bluesofa said:

Probably using a French search engine, they cause me problems.

It's probably because our search engines are in our pants!

Is it a canine search engine? I wear trousers, but the dog just pants.

[sotonowl]

12 hours ago, owl sees all said:

Never been a fan of the Gunners, but can't recall who I was rooting for.

 

Should have remembered that,. Not often happens. Losing brain cells fast. Hope Mrs Owl doesn't notice.

It's the only time I can remember it happening, 2 teams play each other in both cup finals in the same year, surely that was a one off. Could be wrong though.

[bannork]

Owl Sees All- did you go to the monthly market just outside Ban Dung today,?

[owl sees all]

40 minutes ago, bannork said:

Owl Sees All- did you go to the monthly market just outside Ban Dung today,?

No! Nor the Thursday market this evening. 

 

 

Used to go regular.

 

 

[bannork]

I was passing in my pick-up and there was a farang who looked similar to you, walking with his wife to the market  I would have shouted out through the window, ' The owl who knows all!' but I was driving the opposite way.

Lucky I didn't,  confusion would have been his epitaph. 555

[Golden Triangle]

3 hours ago, owl sees all said:

No! Nor the Thursday market this evening. 

 

 

 

Used to go regular.

 

 

 

A friend of mine has made a rod for his own back on so many levels of " shouldn't have done that " ???? there is a market on the 8th, 18th & 28th of every month, spookily it's called the 8 market locally, his wife expects 1000 baht on each occasion, then there is the Monday market, spookily that is on a Monday & guess what ?? Yep, she wants her 1000 baht for that too ???????????? that is over and above the large lump he gives her at the beginning of the month.

 

We talk about it often and he whines louder than a jet engine, lol, and before you all ask, no he is not a member here, he has no internet and can only just work his Nokia talk only phone, I've known him for 30 odd years, we used to drink in the same boozer and were good friends back then. I love him to bits but he made a rod for his back when the £ was on a high, never mind mate ????????????????

[faraday]

Just having a nice mug of PG Tips, after the second night of big rain. Last night however, there was a thunderstorm, & happily we don't have any holes in the roof.

 

Lotsa flying ants that are banging themselves against the door, trying to get in & fly around the lights. Little bas....!

 

⛈️ 

 

[Odysseus123]

10 hours ago, faraday said:

Just having a nice mug of PG Tips, after the second night of big rain. Last night however, there was a thunderstorm, & happily we don't have any holes in the roof.

So..you guys have had some rain?

Hopefully a nice build up to the rainy season when the earth springs forth in bloom again..

 

[FarFlungFalang]

On 3/5/2021 at 3:47 PM, Odysseus123 said:

Some nice looking awkwards there! I wonder if they have any awkward societies here in Thailand?

[Odysseus123]

2 hours ago, FarFlungFalang said:

Some nice looking awkwards there! I wonder if they have any awkward societies here in Thailand?

Yes-I loved the orchids in Thailand and Laos..especially the latter where you could see whole groves of them in the wild dancing in the breeze..

There is a Thai orchid society established in the 1950's,

https://www.orchidwire.com/Listings/63726540861.html

 

 

[owl sees all]

Owl Log - 07-03-2021 - Sunday afternoon

 

Great excitement at the village.

Owl feeds chickens.

Bird decides to nest in kitchen.

Plant water feed bottles not sorted.

Avocado plant doing well.

Two furniture wagons come to village.

Twins ride on motor tricycle.

Mildred spots peelaw cloud-dog.

 

It has been so dry up to last week that farmers have not been burning their stubble. When it's bone-dry and a fire starts, it is difficult to control. So the couple of showers was the cue to get burning. Oh dear!!

 

 

The fire looked virtually out to me. But, then I saw some commotion over the back. Went and investigated.

 

If the fire gets to the wood, it could burn the trees! Hurry! All hands on deck.

 

 

It's OK guys. farang Owl is here. Give him a swig of Lao khow. And a fire-beating twig.

 

 

Local fire truck arrived.

 

 

 

"That's it Chai. Good shot! Number one."

 

Lost.

 

 

Soon sorted.

 

 

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The farm next to us having problems containing their chickens. They wander everywhere. Now, I don't mind chickens.

 

 

Mrs Owl don't like the chickens 'cause she says they destroy her garden.

 

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Much to Mildred's delight there is a nesting bird at the back of the farm kitchen.

 

 

Hardly noticeable. Two little eggs.

 

 

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I think I've saved the two plants in grow-bags, after Mrs Owl lack of watering. Not sorted the water flow yet though. The bottle on the right has a hole at the top. So the water runs through too quick. I am going to put a little sand in the cap end to restrict flow. The other three do not let the water out fast enough. Mildred has suggested putting a tooth-pick in the holes. So the water runs down the pick. Could work. Gonna try that today.

 

 

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The avocado that I grew from seed is doing good.

 

 

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Two large wagons were touring the villages a few days ago.

 

 

 

I liked the green 'Micky Mouse' one (left).

 

 

 

500 baht a month for 10 months.

 

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Twins came on the back road to their farm. Wanted to see the fire I reckon. Too late!  All finished. Were they disappointed? I asked them. "Did you two come to see the fire. And are gutted that it's out?" They looked at me blank. I don't think they get English at all. Soon maybe.

 

 

They were so thrilled to get their pics taken though.

 

 

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Mildred is always on the look out for special stuff in the sky. Spotted a peelaw dog.

 

 

Now the thing is with these formations, is that they only last for a fleeting moment before transforming into some other shape. So it is a very unique pic. Of course the imagination has to have a little licence. But I encourage Mildred with that. 

 

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The world seems outraged at the shenanigans in Burma. Thailand said it's an internal dispute. Hope it not catching!

 

My sister and her husband in England have been offered the jab. Don't know what one. Sister says "No way", husband says "Yes please." Some interesting discussions over the dinner table in that part of Essex.

 

"Even the Queen says you are selfish if you don't have it."

"Don't care. I don't like needles."

"It won't hurt."

"Good. Then you can have mine too. Give you double immunity."

 

There was a village party. Fundraising for the new building above the pond. I didn't go. The music is so loud it hurts my ears. Passed over 200 baht though.

 

Still not done the walk through between the eucas. Perhaps later today. Get Mildred to do a commentary.

 

Seriously thinking of pumping 20cm of water into the carp pond, from number 3 or 4. The little bit of thunder and lightening will spur them into breed mode. Nature's way of saying; there's water on the way. Get frisky.

 

I haven't yet got the nets out of pond 5. Should I forget them for now, or get them out? Can't do it from in the water. Have to tie on a rope and haul them out from the bank. They were a disaster. Not nearly enough water for the plan to succeed.

 

Had a text from 'Natural Health' shop in Ban Dung. "New hat for you." Have to take a look in the week.

 

Bought Mildred a new pair of shoes last week. She kicks them out so quickly. The deterioration is at the back; not the front. I've watched the children at the school come down the stairs carrying their footwear, and as they slip them on, they tread on the heel part, rather than undo the laces/strap/velcro. 280 Baht again.

 

Treated myself to 50 plastic cups for the seed growing. Only 15 Baht. Hope that's not the cue for a new hand bag.

 

Tried something different with this Owl Log. Centered all the pics and associated text. Seems better to me. OK?

 

Take care out there.

 

By y'all.

 

 

 

 

 

[FarFlungFalang]

The latest exciting news in Ban Koksuwan is we are having a fake thunderstorm with some fake rain.

 

[owl sees all]

3 hours ago, FarFlungFalang said:

The latest exciting news in Ban Koksuwan is we are having a fake thunderstorm with some fake rain.

 

 

Is that rain?

 

Looks like the ground is wet.

 

It's raining here too. Just been out the shut the gate. Enough to stop a game of cricket; just. Very disappointing.