Hugging in Thailand

[NoshowJones]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

You were supposed to kiss it.

Is that not what the French do? You have heard about French kissing?

[CGW]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Ain't all that keen on shaking hands with the white pension/insurance/financial crooks either.

Rule of thumb in Thailand - if there wearing a suit and a tie - Beware! mind - with some of the financial wide boys here they would try rip you off wearing "Speedos"!!! 

[ivor bigun]

Two of my wifes sisters always hug me ,but i have known them over 20 years ,never hugged my mother in law ,but when i first met here all those years ago ,she was with some friends all her age about 60odd ,one said something and they all laughed,later i asked my then to be wife what was said ,she replied that the old lady had said"wouldnt mind his shoes under my bed" so they can be a bit "naughty"

[Stevemercer]

Plenty of Thai people hug and even give a little kiss on the lips - young, old and in-between.

 

Before coming to Thailand I'd read that you can't touch Thai people on the head or feet. I've never found that to be true. Even my mother-in-law enjoys a head massage. Some are a bit fussy about their feet. Others need to have known you for more than 15 minutes or have enjoyed a few beers.

 

It can be a little embarrassing when a distant relative gives a full body hug and won't let go!

 

My wife is constantly telling me never to touch a Thai lady I have just met at a social function because it is impolite. I guess it is impolite if the lady does not want the attention. But if they start first ....

[richard_smith237]

2 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

It can be a little embarrassing when a distant relative gives a full body hug and won't let go!

 

My wife is constantly telling me never to touch a Thai lady I have just met at a social function because it is impolite. I guess it is impolite if the lady does not want the attention. But if they start first ....

 

Its all fine until the Wife's Aunties get a little carried away with the hug and go the extra mile with a bottom squeeze..... 

[Mac98]

I let them make the first move. Works well.

[angloirishaussie]

my wife is from Hainan and i introduced hugging to her family some 14 years ago

They all love it now

Im a lucky man my wife has 3 sisters and 2 brothers and they are really good people same as in laws

[LUNG JIM MAE RIM]

I see the same BDMS advertisement every night -- I agree that it appears to be an appeal to non-Thai potential customers of the hospital network. First, the doctor wais to the patient -- you will never see that happen normally in Thai society; doctors are at the top of the social hierarchy, even if they are younger than the patient. Then, the doctor hugs the elderly lady -- absolutely nothing traditionally Thai about a man hugging an adult woman in public (even his own wife). I see this ad every night and it feels totally false every night; I have been living here continuously since 1975 and I have a Thai wife and extended family. I worked with doctors in the Ministry of Public Health for 40 years and I have never seen a doctor hug an adult female patient. 

 

BTW: If you ever meet my wife in my presence and you try to hug her -- beware that I might put an elbow into your ear -- just to educate you. And I won't even try to shake your wife's hand -- a wai is the perfect greeting. Try hugging a Thai young woman in a traditional setting and that might be the last thing you ever do. Young Thai men have always felt justified in physically attacking another man for just "looking at" their woman. If you ever hear: "Mong arai?" You might be on your way to becoming famous in the Thai news. 

[Destiny1990]

On 12/4/2019 at 4:09 AM, ChipButty said:

Over the years things have changed in the way they meet and greet all my wife's family and friends like to give me a hug and every night I go to the bar one girl gives me a big hug, I remember Thai men never shuck hands even thats changed

That not Thai men shaking ur hands.

Its Probably Indians trying to sell u a shirt and tie !

[Chazar]

14 hours ago, wombat said:

'to shake perhaps very dirty hands'......i know where my hands have been, do you?
Be Woke...
fist bumps are the new greeting.....clean and hygienically healthy.

Yes  what could be more welcoming than a  clenched  fist, I expect many a taxi  driver will perpetuate  this craze

[Chazar]

7 hours ago, LUNG JIM MAE RIM said:

their woman

prehistoric mentality then

[1FinickyOne]

16 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I wai ..... for no man.

Ain't all that keen on shaking hands with the white pension/insurance/financial crooks either.

I went to look at a house w/a realtor one time... the owner, a Britmantoo, was mowing his lawn and dripping sweat from his disgusting hairy arms, truly soaking wet, held out his drenched sweaty hand in greeting... I far prefer a wai... and as it is a custom in the land I have chosen to live, I return any wai that is offered... you are not bowing down or kowtowing, just returning a polite greeting... 

[1FinickyOne]

10 hours ago, LUNG JIM MAE RIM said:

If you ever hear: "Mong arai?"

oh, mawng arai? took me a minute - we all have our own transliterations... 

 

you are a little over the top but mostly right on... but if you ever get a chance to see Western commercials, reality is not really what they shoot for in advertising these days... I am sure all of the un-real hugging is to create an unreal image of a caring doctor... 

 

I have been here long enough to definitely not offer a hug to anyone in public and I don't like shaking hands either... a wai works fine...

10 hours ago, LUNG JIM MAE RIM said:

I might put an elbow into your ear

rather extreme response, don't you think? 

 

Over 20 years of marriage, it has been a very rare farang who moved toward hugging my wife... but she has her own ways of taking a step back and smiling to avoid - - I would never respond violently toward someone who just didn't understand the culture they were visiting... jai yen yen Jim Dja... 

[1FinickyOne]

14 hours ago, ivor bigun said:

wouldnt mind his shoes under my bed"

most Thai sleep on a mat on the floor... so, they probably meant you should sleep outside under the house... lucky for you they have hammocks... 

 

but seriously - funny comment... never heard that one... I guess I would have to leave my wallet in my shoes... 

Edited December 6, 2019 by kenk24

[stigar]

NEVER EVER hug or touch a married lady even shes ur mother in law.Hug ur wife or gf when ur alone.

[NancyL]

11 hours ago, LUNG JIM MAE RIM said:

I see the same BDMS advertisement every night -- I agree that it appears to be an appeal to non-Thai potential customers of the hospital network. First, the doctor wais to the patient -- you will never see that happen normally in Thai society; doctors are at the top of the social hierarchy, even if they are younger than the patient. Then, the doctor hugs the elderly lady -- absolutely nothing traditionally Thai about a man hugging an adult woman in public (even his own wife). I see this ad every night and it feels totally false every night; I have been living here continuously since 1975 and I have a Thai wife and extended family. I worked with doctors in the Ministry of Public Health for 40 years and I have never seen a doctor hug an adult female patient. 

 

........

Definitely agree with you about the ad, which I see every day, too.  I'm a customer of BDMS and had this scenario play out when I was hospitalized for an infection and the cardiologist who I see quarterly came to see me every day when I was a patient even though the infection was totally unrelated to the heart.  He did it, I think, out of genuine concern because he'd become friends with my husband and me through our quarterly visits.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that I wasn't billed for his daily visits.  That was way better than a hug.  And no, I'd never expect him to hug me or wai me first.  

 

To me, his action showed more caring than what is depicted in the commercial.

[spidermike007]

Hopefully, things are changing. When we used to visit my in-laws, I always found it strange and bizarre that my wife would not hug her folks, after not seeing them for a long time. I hugged them both, and though they thought it was strange at first, I think they like it now. Same with her. She hugs her folks and they seem to like the humanity of it all. Tribal traditions are just that. They are ancient, and we are living in the 21st century. A lot of tradition has little place in the modern world. Change and progress is good. Living in a tiny little box of convention benefits nobody. 

 

For me a handshake is a lot more meaningful than a wai. Unless the wai is done with mindfulness. Sometimes it seems so insincere. 

[aussiee]

I find sometimes when a lady shakes my hand she tickles the inside of my palm .......

[Emmess]

I would hug @villagefarang when ever i do get a chance to meet him. Also would love to rub his bald scalp????

[villagefarang]

3 minutes ago, Emmess said:

I would hug @villagefarang when ever i do get a chance to meet him. Also would love to rub his bald scalp????

It is as smooth as a baby's bottom.????

[1FinickyOne]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Sometimes it seems so insincere. 

The origins of the "wai" were 2 strangers meeting on a path and by putting their hands together in a wai, it showed they were holding no weapons... w/a handshake, you can still hold a knife behind your back... though mostly in todays western society it comes out, hidden, from inside the mouth... but still, w/a handshake you have to grasp someone's sweaty, germ laden, sneezed and coughed into meat-hook of a hand... pretty gross if you ask me... 

 

though as to greetings, I always find "Heyyyy... whaddaya whaddaya" works best... and try not to get close enough that I accidentally spittle on their face... 

 

and life is good... 

[1FinickyOne]

2 hours ago, aussiee said:

I find sometimes when a lady shakes my hand she tickles the inside of my palm .......

that is just one knowing finger in escape mode... 

[fhickson]

its acceptable if the person is really old, frail, sick or ill.

 

not a set in stone tradition for unofficial matters, depends on the circumstance and vibe of the situation and relationship.

 

Edited December 6, 2019 by fhickson

[tyga]

That ad and the other ones in the series really annoys me. If you look closely, they don't even get English speaking actors and the words do not match the lips so it already looks suspicious and not at all 'Thai' for want of a better word. They should have had an  international patient and English speaking doctor As it stands, they could have said anything which already makes it a bit false and suspicious to start!

 

I've used Bangkok Hospital on many occasions and had a good relationship with various specialists, some of whom I have seen for years, but hugging would never have been contemplated by either party. The atmosphere in the hospital is that they are busy and is more of getting you in and out of consultations asap. As for that ridiculous line that 'we are happy every time you go home', is inferring that some hospitals are not (and probably they are not) or wouldn't have thought of that to start with (two face talk etc). The implication is that they wish they had dragged out the treatment and unnecessary drugs for longer to make more short term profit out of their poor patients? it is a bit like when someone does you a favour and then jokingly says you owe me 1000THB, and you know they must be thinking a bit that way to even come out with it. Just my take...

[Thian]

Guess they have seen video's of Joe Biden....everybody loves to hug him, according to him that is.

[captpkapoor]

A wai - which is the same as a Namaste in India - is far more hygienic, given that a lot of germs are transmitted via the hands. Others may have picked up germs from door handles and a million other places. The best way to remain healthy is to wash your hands often. 

[Fairynuff]

On 12/6/2019 at 8:07 AM, stigar said:

NEVER EVER hug or touch a married lady even shes ur mother in law.Hug ur wife or gf when ur alone.

That may still be the case in village life but in big cities those rules have mostly gone