Alternative Future in the Philippines

[donnacha]

6 minutes ago, Nakmuay887 said:

Cambodia was my other idea but seems pricey in many regards in comparison to Vietnam

This probably reveals my limited mental capacity more than anything else, but I find Vietnamese money to be the most bewildering in the world.

It takes me twice as long to pay for anything because I am terrified that I will accidentally give someone a $20 tip or something like that.

[Destiny1990]

Every Filipino has at least one family member that is working abroad.

So they know themselves how it is being a foreigner. So the vibe is more foreigner friendly in Phills than easier visa options and without TM30’s harassments etc. English fluently etc..

[Ron jeremy]

Yes the money in Vietnam is not easy, it took me several trips to get comfortable with it.

i find you must organize your bills, and some look similar, be careful.

away from the tourist areas or big cities, viet people are the friendliest in all of SEA.

i also find away from tourist areas, I'm still sort of a novelty.

never seen so many kids wave at me, and come talk to me. Never seen this in Thailand.

[donnacha]

1 minute ago, Ron jeremy said:

never seen so many kids wave at me, and come talk to me. Never seen this in Thailand.

I experienced something along those lines in Soi 6, Pattaya.
 

 

1 minute ago, Ron jeremy said:

away from the tourist areas or big cities, viet people are the friendliest in all of SEA.

Which areas would you recommend for someone who needs access to reasonably reliable Internet?

Were you traveling around on a motorbike?

Just as a sidenote, Internet access is another area where the Philippines can be pretty bad, although it may have improved in the year or so since I was last there.

I found the Internet in Vietnamese hotels and cafes to be pretty good, but possibly not as good as Thailand.

 

[DaRoadrunner]

13 minutes ago, Destiny1990 said:

Filipinos.... English fluently

If you can understand someone who has an accent like Bugs Bunny.

[utalkin2me]

I noticed you wrote her business is going great and she works hard but never asks you hoe to run it. Sounds like more a problem with you on that front. 

 

It sounds like you want out too so you should do her a favor and get out. 

 

And I am guessing the #1 reason why Thais do not make a lot of friends is because not too many people speak their language. I think the #2 reason would probably be many don't think we want to be friends with them, or they are too shy, or both. 

Edited December 27, 2019 by utalkin2me

[bkk6060]

I go to the Phils every April for one month.

Lots of expats in Angeles C easy to meet up with fellows for friendships.

I like it a lot good English and great girls.

I still like Thailand but feel I would have no problem adjusting to Phils.

 

PS:  The bad food comments are true but kind of stupid. Plenty of western or whatever other food you want available.  

 

[Destiny1990]

12 minutes ago, DaRoadrunner said:

If you can understand someone who has an accent like Bugs Bunny.

In comparison with Thais they are fluent!

They also have common sense from watching ordinary English tv programs daily.

[donnacha]

6 minutes ago, utalkin2me said:

I noticed you wrote her business is going great and she works hard but never asks you hoe to run it.

I'm guessing you meant "how" rather than "hoe".

No, I wrote nothing about her not asking me how to run her business. I wrote that she never asked for advice.

The difference between telling someone how to run their business, which would be rather presumptuous, and simply asking for advice would be, for instance, if she was wondering how to make a website, or wondering where to get hosting, or how to take card payments.

Those would be individual, discreet areas of knowledge that could easily cost her a lot of time, money and frustration, which she could avoid if she happened to share a bed every night with someone who did that stuff all day, every day for a living.

It would be like if Melinda Gates was having real problems with her Windows laptop crashing, but didn't bother to mention it to Bill.
 

 

15 minutes ago, utalkin2me said:

Sounds like more a problem with you on that front. 

Well, yes, you certainly could use this as an opportunity to personally attack a member you have never met and know nothing about.

Might it not be more fruitful, however, for you to reflect on whether I am actually reporting on a Thai trait that many other members here have observed, and that you many well stumble across at some point yourself.

Being a dick online can be fun but, in a community like this, you can actually gain more by engaging with, rather than attacking guys who are sharing their experiences. You might be having exactly the same problem in five years time, you don't know, but you won't have absorbed any wisdom if you cockily swarm about this forum in kill mode.

 

[Why Me]

My advice to the OP would be to find the woman first and then the country.

 

Specifically, he seems to think the fulfilling relationship he hasn't found in Thailand awaits him in the Philippines. Maybe. What I would do though in his place is go live there for a few months first (without burning all bridges back if possible) and see if Miss Right shows up.

 

And also if the Philippines is livable long-term. I understand he's visited the country but there's heckuva difference between a 2 weeks blitz and a 4 month grind.

 

Anyway, good luck.

[Gweiloman]

Assuming the OP is civilised, educated and broad minded (which appears to be the case given his eloquence and witty rebuttals), I would say that the best cultural fit would be a similarly educated Singaporean or Malaysian Chinese lady. They tend to be rather well travelled, fairly independent, speak fluent English and understand British culture and customs. 
IMO, most Asians do not particularly like Westerners. Those that do tend to have ulterior motives, primarily financial security. That is why you will find that it’s mostly only the very successful ones marrying higher class ladies from Asia. No offence meant but lower society Western males will only be able to match up with a similar class here in Asia. There are of course exceptions where a successful Westerner marries a bar or farm girl but these tend to be for reasons other than sex. Very seldom would you see a successful Asian lady marrying below their social status. 
 

[from the home of CC]

3 hours ago, ThomasThBKK said:

Forget it.

 

I did a bunch of investments into companies there, such a pain in the ass, worse than vietnam even.

 

Foreigners can absolutely not run a company there, foreign lawyers are absolutely not allowed to work at all (here they just cant go to court). You cannot own more than 40% of a PH company, setting up companies takes forever, they basically have just stock listed companies, even if they arent really listed. 

Like a Thai PLC - a limited, BOI etc is not available.

 

The legal system absolutely is absolutely HILARIOUS - some crackpot had to come up with that, no lawyer understands it. They copy/pasted spanish law and later english law and now it's an absolute giant mess. 

 

 

Yea I saw a documentary the other day about a Philippine jail and that people charged can languish like 15 to 20 years before their trial is scheduled, they alluded to their legal system as a real issue..

[ThomasThBKK]

3 hours ago, donnacha said:

Would you happen to know, @ThomasThBKK, whether it is more accepted there, than here, for foreigners to consult or do freelance work for companies, payable to their foreign companies, and not having a Philippines company at all?

 

It isn't, and the main issue is you can't bribe the cops there since duterte went to power, so it's corrupt as thailand except you can't profit from it -.- 

 

They are getting stricter and stricter, most blue collar jobs are filipino only and everything else needs a WP: https://www.rappler.com/nation/222848-bureau-immigration-issues-stricter-work-permit-requirements-foreigners

 

Quote

Under the law, work permits can only be issued to foreigners if no Filipinos are able and willing to do the job being appled for.

 

 

Imho way worse than thailand.

Edited December 27, 2019 by ThomasThBKK

[donnacha]

5 minutes ago, Why Me said:

My advice to the OP would be to find the woman first and then the country.

Sure ... but which country is she hiding in? ????
 

 

6 minutes ago, Why Me said:

Specifically, he seems to think the fulfilling relationship he hasn't found in Thailand awaits him in the Philippines.

Well, I wasn't particularly looking for that fulfilling relationship five years ago, and that is probably the root of the problem. I should have been.

Instead, I sort of fell into this relationship and, thereafter, drifted along, with no particularly compelling reason to end it.

In rethinking what I need from a relationship, and having at least some insights into Thai women at this stage, it is fair enough to wonder whether other nationalities might better match what I am now looking for.
 

 

13 minutes ago, Why Me said:

And also if the Philippines is livable long-term. I understand he's visited the country but there's heckuva difference between a 2 weeks blitz and a 4 month grind.

I agree. I spent one 3-month period in Davao, two visits of about a month each in Cebu, and about 3 visits of a month each in Manila.

They were all very different experiences, and my understanding is that many other destinations within the Philippines are wildly different again. I will have a lot to learn, wherever I go.

 

19 minutes ago, Why Me said:

What I would do though in his place is go live there for a few months first (without burning all bridges back if possible) and see if Miss Right shows up.

Yes, that is my roughly my plan. If I go to the Philippines, I won't be in dating mode. My priority will be to re-establish some sort of social life by attending groups, meetups, activities, and building out the rudiments of a life.

I have faith that, if I live in a positive, productive and open manner, the right person will eventually come along, but that isn't something I need to rush. My interest in the Philippines is its suitability for laying out that groundwork for my life as a whole.

Of course, it doesn't hurt to think ahead a bit and ask whether Filipinas are generally considered to be good long-term partners.


 

[ThomasThBKK]

2 hours ago, metempsychotic said:

Cant buy a house either.

 

Around 8 years between thailand and phils with the last 5 in phils full time except for visits "home" to Thailand.

 

The op is being naive in everyway, especially when it comes to the women.

 

The only thing easy is the visas.

Yeah and the company etc loopholes don't exist there.

 

Everyone who "owns" land there just puts it in his wifes/gfs name and we know how that ends, there are also restrictions on the size what one can own

 

Condos are the same as here, foreigners can own 40%. But manila sucks to life .... traffic and air polution worse than bkk.

[ThomasThBKK]

10 minutes ago, from the home of CC said:

Yea I saw a documentary the other day about a Philippine jail and that people charged can languish like 15 to 20 years before their trial is scheduled, they alluded to their legal system as a real issue..

I think you mean the one on netflix: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Jail

 

it's quite messed up.

[donnacha]

7 minutes ago, Gweiloman said:

I would say that the best cultural fit would be a similarly educated Singaporean or Malaysian Chinese lady. They tend to be rather well travelled, fairly independent, speak fluent English and understand British culture and customs. 

Thanks, that is an aspect I had not considered.

 

8 minutes ago, Gweiloman said:

Very seldom would you see a successful Asian lady marrying below their social status. 

It is slowly dawning upon me that I need to reprogram my whole game plan. I see now that Thailand has allowed me to slum it and not worry about pushing my various online projects to make real money.

That has now limited my choices for a reboot to Thailand, Vietnam, and the Philippines, and, as you point out, financial limitation is also social limitation. Damn, that was dumb of me.

[Gweiloman]

18 minutes ago, donnacha said:

Thanks, that is an aspect I had not considered.

 

It is slowly dawning upon me that I need to reprogram my whole game plan. I see now that Thailand has allowed me to slum it and not worry about pushing my various online projects to make real money.

That has now limited my choices for a reboot to Thailand, Vietnam, and the Philippines, and, as you point out, financial limitation is also social limitation. Damn, that was dumb of me.

I hope you are not being sarcastic lol and take it in the spirit my comment was offered ie constructively. I know of lots of mixed marriages in Asia, between Indonesian, Malaysian, Singaporean, Filipino, Thai and Hong Kong ladies. Very seldom will you encounter one where the lady has married below her status. 

[donnacha]

1 hour ago, Gweiloman said:

I hope you are not being sarcastic lol and take it in the spirit my comment was offered ie constructively.

Oh, yes, of course. Your points were insightful, forcing me to think about why my perspective was limited to Thailand, Vietnam and the Philippines. The corner I have painted myself into is unequivocally dumb, there's no way I can deny that ????

I appreciate the time and thought you put into considering my situation, and forcing me to expand my perspective a bit. It is the nature of forums that many others, who will never post, will benefit from it too. Thank you!


 

Edited December 27, 2019 by donnacha

[Ron jeremy]

3 hours ago, ThomasThBKK said:

Yeah and the company etc loopholes don't exist there.

 

Everyone who "owns" land there just puts it in his wifes/gfs name and we know how that ends, there are also restrictions on the size what one can own

 

Condos are the same as here, foreigners can own 40%. But manila sucks to life .... traffic and air polution worse than bkk.

Typo, you mean the opposite.

[Ron jeremy]

5 hours ago, donnacha said:

I experienced something along those lines in Soi 6, Pattaya.
 

 

Which areas would you recommend for someone who needs access to reasonably reliable Internet?

Were you traveling around on a motorbike?

Just as a sidenote, Internet access is another area where the Philippines can be pretty bad, although it may have improved in the year or so since I was last there.

I found the Internet in Vietnamese hotels and cafes to be pretty good, but possibly not as good as Thailand.

 

I was talking kids, not their grandmothers.

google internet in the 2 countries, better in Vietnam.

get away from tourist areas in any of these countries and the people are far more friendly.

i will tour the cao bang and ha giang loop by motorcycle shortly, apparently the top 3 rides in the world, we'll see. 

Big cities anywhere n a motorbike, not a chance.

Edited December 27, 2019 by Ron jeremy

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, donnacha said:

It is primarily about a relationship that is not working out, and me wondering if I should bail to another country - not exactly Man of the Year material.

Essentially your woman is too old (must be nearer 50 by now) and approaching menopause (which is never a good time to be with a woman). Go to the Philippines and find an 18 year old.

Edited December 27, 2019 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

8 hours ago, donnacha said:

I read the whole thing too, all 250 pages. It is a masterclass in how deluded a man can belong, despite everyone in the world trying to save him from his own stupidity.

Don't invest your hard earned money in your future with a woman, they can't be trusted.

Works for every country, and in every situation.

Edited December 27, 2019 by BritManToo

[Puchaiyank]

Get yourself a good counselor...the weight of your relationship is too heavy to carry alone...

 

Married for ten years to an Englishman which, obviously, is a disappointing experience for any woman.

 

Priceless!  Unless you are an Englishmen...

 

 

[utalkin2me]

11 hours ago, donnacha said:

I'm guessing you meant "how" rather than "hoe".

No, I wrote nothing about her not asking me how to run her business. I wrote that she never asked for advice.

The difference between telling someone how to run their business, which would be rather presumptuous, and simply asking for advice would be, for instance, if she was wondering how to make a website, or wondering where to get hosting, or how to take card payments.

Those would be individual, discreet areas of knowledge that could easily cost her a lot of time, money and frustration, which she could avoid if she happened to share a bed every night with someone who did that stuff all day, every day for a living.

It would be like if Melinda Gates was having real problems with her Windows laptop crashing, but didn't bother to mention it to Bill.
 

 

Well, yes, you certainly could use this as an opportunity to personally attack a member you have never met and know nothing about.

Might it not be more fruitful, however, for you to reflect on whether I am actually reporting on a Thai trait that many other members here have observed, and that you many well stumble across at some point yourself.

Being a dick online can be fun but, in a community like this, you can actually gain more by engaging with, rather than attacking guys who are sharing their experiences. You might be having exactly the same problem in five years time, you don't know, but you won't have absorbed any wisdom if you cockily swarm about this forum in kill mode.

 

Sometimes I wonder if people like you actually think you are getting some sort of upper hand by pointing out something like a spelling error, typed when walking on a phone no less. Do you really feel so weak so as to attack something like that? Does it actually make you feel good? Are your actual arguments that weak?

 

People like yourself come with loads and loads of baggage when they give their "advice". That may be difficult to impossible for you to understand. 

 

Will you look over her shoulder to see if she is implementing your advice? Will you ask her how the advice you gave her is working out? Will you let her know little supposedly innocuous things like "when you implement my advice, see how much smoother things run and how much time I saved you... if only you asked me about everything, see how easy it would make your life (lol)". 

 

I would say from the way you described things: Thai wife, living in Thailand, running a successful business... that she is very smart not to ask for any of your advice, as she will avoid all the deleterious pitfalls that come with it.

 

Your wife has learned that things are a million times easier without your input! 

 

Should I have just told you what you wanted to hear? You asked a question, I told you the truth. If you can't handle that, that is, once again, your problem.

 

You need to start realizing when problems are sourced with you, and not others. You should also start realizing that the advice that is easy to hear is not always the best. Because I can tell you right now, waiting around for your wife to ask you questions about her business to make yourself feel good: not a good strategy. Sorta pitiful actually. 

 

Any spelling errors that time? I always enjoy a good lackey who can run and do the menial tasks. 

Edited December 28, 2019 by utalkin2me

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

Get yourself a good counselor...the weight of your relationship is too heavy to carry alone...

Married for ten years to an Englishman which, obviously, is a disappointing experience for any woman.

Priceless!  Unless you are an Englishmen...

Even worse if you were married to an Englishwoman for ten years, as that would mean nine years with no sex.

We conquered half of the world as an excuse to escape our women.

Edited December 28, 2019 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, utalkin2me said:

typed when walking on a phone no less.

I've found it more effective to use my fingers to type on my phone.

[scotinsiam]

On 12/27/2019 at 9:33 PM, Nakmuay887 said:

https://britishexpats.com/forum/philippines-155/me-my-family-851728/

 

I present the greatest thread to ever grace an expat forum, I have never read anything even remotely as horrific and entertaining as this mess start to finsh. took me a week but was well worth it. 

 

give it a read just for fun! it takes place in phil not thailand

Been reading for hours now - its brilliant!!!! Thanks for the link

[ThomasThBKK]

21 hours ago, Ron jeremy said:

Typo, you mean the opposite.

rubbish. you must have never been to manila if you think the traffic isn't totally nuts. 

 

 

easy 3 hours to work every day...

 

https://news.abs-cbn.com/business/10/29/19/metro-manila-traffic-congestion-may-be-worlds-worst-says-waze

 

"MANILA - Metro Manila is again set to take the dubious honor as the world's worst city for drivers, according to traffic navigation app Waze." 

 

oh yeah tell us more about the glorious traffic there fat bald pornstar. you literally used an internet vote with 7xx vote as your source, troll somewhere else. 

 

air and water pollution aren't good either, for different reasons than thailand. 

Edited December 28, 2019 by ThomasThBKK

[daveAustin]

Op, if I am reading this right, it would appear your lady is undergoing, or seeking, additional servicing. I would bail now and simply try other places with no plan of mixing it up with another doris. Whatever happens, happens. Agree with Thai women being a bit aloof and self centred, but this is women in general innit?

 

At the least, a change and a break would do you good. She might just turn into a raging nymph on your return. 

 

Crime, typhoons and the twot running the place would put me off Philly.