I noticed during our "annual Christmas thread" that some members have the knack of telling a story or poem or two.

So here's one to kick-start.....

 

My wife and I were going through the checkout at our local shop in Australia and the checkout lady had noticeably large breasts. So I whispered to my wife "check out the tits on her".

So my wife says "she could have heard you. You are supposed to say 'nom ye' and even if she does hear you she won't know what you are saying".

So later back in Thailand we were going through the checkout at our local shop and I noticed the checkout lady had noticeably large breasts, so I turned to my wife and said "Nom ye". Both her and the checkout lady gave me a strange look.

Ooops. 5555

Are you ok?

Xmas was 3 weeks ago..

I would tell the story of the time my ex-wife first saw a black man on an English train and what words she was using - but I keep being banned as it is !

22 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Are you ok?

Xmas was 3 weeks ago..

Really? I didn't notice.

I'm fine thanks, yourself?

When I gave up smoking I put on a bit of weight.

The locals started calling me "Owen".

I asked my wife why are they calling me Owen all of a sudden when they have been calling me by my name for years.

She said "They're calling you 'fat'"