A Scouser and his Girlfriend were walkign down the road one night after the pub...

Walking past a Big department store window the girl spots a really nice coat she likes and says to her boyfriend

"Wow, i really like that coat, i'd love to have one like it"

"No problem" he replies, pulling a brick out from one of his inside pockets.

He throws the brick at the window, smashing it to peices, grabs the coat and gives it to the girl.

"Just because i love ya, darlin"

A few moments later they walked past a shoe shop and the girl spots some really nice shoes that go nicely with her new coat, she turns to her boyfriend and says

"Wow, i really like those shoes, they would go realyl well with this coat"

"No problem" he replies, again pulling a brick from one of his inside pockets and throws it at the window, smashing it... he grabs the shoes and gives them to the girl.

"Just because i love ya, darlin"

Several minutes later they are walking past a Jewelry store and the girl sees a really nice, expensive gold necklace that would just look great with her new coat and shoes. She turns to her fella and smiles, then says

"Wow, i really like that neclace there, it would look soo good with my new coat and shoes"

The guy turns round to the girl and says

"What do you think i am, made of bricks or something?"

What do you call a scouser in a suit?

The accused

What did west ham fans chant at liverpool supporters when they were in the premiership?

We've got Di canio-you've got our stereos, la la la la la (if you know the tune)

A small effeminate man walks into a Liverpool pub and takes a seat next to a big scouser sat at the bar.

“Hello”. The scouser ignores him.

“I like you”. The scouser ignores him.

“You are very handsome”. The scouser ignores him.

“Do you want a blow job?” With that the scouser picks up the little guy bodily, carries him outside, throws him on the pavement and proceeds to kick the sh1t out of him.

He then returns to his place at the bar and continues drinking. “Jeeze Mick”, says the barman, “what did he say to upset you that much?”

“Dunno”, says Mick, “something about a job”.

we ate scousers we ate scousers

On a recent visit back home, I noticed a scouser kicking a can down the road, I asked him what the ? he was doing, he said - MOVING!