Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

[terry57]

what were you doing on thailandfriends.com ???

only you can answer your questions, but it'd make sure in my mind that i was commited to her because you have a decent career and who knows what you will find in thailand... if you have no job, and Mom is at work all day, and you are the type of guy who used to cruise thailandfriends.com ... then....

jeez mr sunshine,

your just no fun what so ever are you.

first you give us all a serve because we have too much fun and now you stick the knife into our very polite friend here.

i suppose you are the head honcho in charge of the fun police. :D

anyway im of to thailandfriends.com to check it out, as i might meet a lovely piece of crumpet over there.

thanks for the tip mate.

[think_too_mut]

Seems for a couple years you can continue to see each other every couple months by trading who

does the flying and vacation time. If you are still together in that time, then will be the time to

make such drastic changes when you have more savings. No need to walk off a cliff just yet.

Hi Khun.

Would you have any idea how much savings one would need? How long would 20k pounds last in the land of smiles. I will also be renting my house out in the mean time whilst im gone.

I dont wish to burn money whilst staying looking for work in Thailand but then again I dont wish to go without...

Any idea's anyone???

Thanks

Nine courses, Thai language from the basics to writing in newspapers - as they advertise, are 250K baht. Takes a year to complete all that, good for getting the visa. BKK University.

IMO, both of you have better perspective in the UK than in Thailand. Forget the weather.

IMO, she is also showing what is not well understood - Thais do not want to leave their country without a fight. Thailand is not Ukraine or some other poor cold places.

IMO, find out how the UK is better for both...for a 2-5 years term.

Edited April 13, 2007 by think_too_mut

[JimsKnight]

I'm with mighty mouse when I say think twice.

As a young kid in my 20s in Thailand I felt compelled to find a woman out there and see if I could cut the mustard in finding work. I half succeeded in getting steady work but not the other half part! For you it seems that you've got the other end of the spectrum, a decent girl and no job in Thailand!

You can go to Thailand anytime in the future, despite what the doom-mongers may say, Thailand won't change much in the next ten to twenty years. It'll still be Thailand.

Your 20s and 30s are an important decade of your life. Its where you find people either make or break it in being successful in your career and retiring in your 40s or 50s (late thirties if your lucky)

If your girlfriend truly loves you and wants you for keeps then she should see it from your side of the fence. Its a lot easier for her to live in the UK and work than it is for you to do the same in Thailand. I challenge anyone on to disagree on this one. Yes, I agree that the typical UK lifestyle is not to my tastes either but it is what it is and you're the one thats spent time making a living here.

How long have you actually lived in Thailand for? Coming to Thailand in short bursts (2 - 5 wks) is a different kind of world to where you stay for months at a time. The 'honeymoon period' tend to fade somewhat after the first month and a half (or at least for me it does).

Is she expecting you to marry her? If you're living together in BKK this may not be too much of a problem but if its smallsville where her family are then expect pressure on this one.

Getting an engineering job is nigh on impossible in Thailand, although yes, Expats do use it as a base of ops for work in SE Asia it tends to be Singapore, Indonesia and the like.

Why not consider a long distance relationship?

You both get on with your chosen careers then see each other whenever you have free time. It will pay off (if you can hack it) in the long run when you retire.

Some people find an open relationship works in this senario, however as your girl is Asian this is unlikely to be acceptable.

If you don't mind teaching english in BKK for a basic wage then thats a reasonable option which could be the answer.

You could take some time off work to complete a TEFL then go to Thailand and see if you can find work as a teacher. If you don't enjoy this kind of thing then you may feel you're in a rut and become disillusioned. Some folk take well becoming an english teacher though!

The downside is (unless you're free-lance) you'll need to quit your job and, depending on the job market for your line of work, waltzing back into the work groove may take some time. Also, unless you are incredibly disciplined, living off low-money income (interest from sub 100k savings <$£>, teaching jobs etc) you'll begin eating into your savings. Yes your girl seems decent and has said she'll take care, but Thailand is like the ever shifting sands of the desert, a dune today could be a valley tomorrow.

Without knowing every facet of your life its impossible to advise to go over to Thailand, but nor is it necessarily a bad thing either.

The plus side is your girl has what sounds like a very good job and wants a serious co-habiting relationship with you in which she'll support you. This is a very rare thing for a farang male to experience as usually these girls of the middle / upper class who marry young and/or steer clear of farang men.

Good luck in your chosen path, we're all rooting for you, you know!

As to how long 20k sterling lasts...hmmm... As a single guy about 3 - 6 years (going off a roaming scale of 50000 baht spent per month down to 25000 baht spent per month.) Obviously if you're a budget meister like myself and can manage off 10 - 20 k per month (doable if youve got the creature comforts in place already) then the time increases considerably. Living with a girl who is helping to pay the bills augments the arrangements greatly.

Edited April 13, 2007 by JimsKnight

[GuestHouse]

I notice there is no mention of what I believe is one of the most significant parts of the equation - Your girlfriend's family.

Have you met them? How did you get on? Have you discussed your girlfriend's family with her (importantly her family’s expectations and hopes for her life)?

I know many foreigners who have very successful relationships with well educated Thai women from wealthy families; I'm assuming here that your girlfriend's family are wealthy on the basis of what you are telling us.

Of the people I know who are married to wealthy Thais all have, to the best of my knowledge had to jump through the family hoops and gain acceptance.

I'll add this is true of many Thai families and not just Thai families, my own father often related the 'challenges' he faced gaining acceptance as a foreigner with my mother's parents.

But I believe there are especial issues with wealthy Thais and particularly if they are Chinese/Thai.

Now I'm sure there are members who will respond that their wife's family accepted them without question, I'm sure some did, but if you have not yet met your girlfriend's family then I would advise you hold any life changing plans until you have - and importantly until they have met you - and had a chance to make their minds up about you.

----

but hey what’s money !!! Happiness is everything right?

Well, yes and no.

Money becomes extremely difficult when you don't have any.

The observation I would make here is that if she is returning to Thailand because she misses her life style back home, then rocks up in a flash car.

Find out what her life style expectations are. What she was brought up with will be a pretty good guide.

Then go back to what I said right up top and find out what her family's expectations are for their daughter.

[Khun ?]

Sorry I would not be the right person to answer that under your circumstances on the money,

but that is not much.

I have been in a few years of schools in your field and others and have a license.

I have made similar choices as to yours but under different circumstances.

My choices came at the latter end of marriages though.

Leave the family and go on with a decent exsiting career for periods of time overseas.

I went, she left after 10 years and left me a 2 year old and 8 year old to take care.

We managed to make it and all do well so far. That was over 20 years ago.

Second one when had problems after getting a thai wife a great job ( for her anyways) where I worked

ended up in disaster. I did not think twice sent her on her way with the child and I changed work for the fact she cost us both our work. I made my mind up more or less at that time it was the end even though for the child I tried to make a long distance marriage work for a few more years.

I can say career to me is the choice after my advanced life, is more important than any relationship that I had in the past.

You can always get a decent relationship I think. I love being single and like my work also.

Helps when you have made it to when your safe stock market investments return about 6 figures.

This I truely believe is because I stuck with the work when sh*t hit the fan.

I probably hand out what I earn on investment each year to needy friends and family

so karma has been ok so far.

Much things about Thailand give me the creeps anymore so glad I sold out before I even moved there and can visit in style any time I wish. This too only because career come first.

[Pepe']

Hello to everybody on this Forum. Ive read and learnt so much over the past year and now would like some good advise from you professionals please.....

Here is my Story: Going back 1.5 years ago I met this well educated Thai girl , she has her Masters degree which she studied at chulalongkorn Uni and then had a placement at Aachen Uni ( Germany ) for 6 months. The way we met was falirly strange because I met her through one of her Friends which I previously talked to over a internet chat site. (Thailandfriends.com)

I talked to my (now)Thai girlfriend for about 6 months on msn before actually meeting her in bkk. The first day I arrived in Thailand I could feel that maybe I got lucky when she pulled up in a fairly decent car to pick me up from my hotel, Since then we have spent many months together in Bkk and Germany , also England. She has just gone back home to carry on with her Job in Bkk as a Technical sales representative - Her profession is that she installs and gives advise to doctors about heart pacemakers and Icd units. she works for a well known heart pacemaking company.

Now this is the problem we have: After she spent many weeks in England she has told me that she dosent really want to live here becuase of the lifestyle, food etc.

I love this girl very much but for us to be together I need to leave my fairly well paid Job. Im an aeronautical ground lighting engineer. Ive applied for many jobs over the Internet to work in the Engineering field in bkk but as of yet nothing. My plan is to leave England and my job so we can be together in Thailand. I have enough savings to last me 2 years whilst studying Thai and looking for work. She has also said that if I need help after the 2 years she will be their to help me! She has met all my family and friends which they all like her... She is 30 and I'm 35.

My question is should I go for it and take the gamble or is that a stupid decision to make ? I've read so many reports that its hard finding work in bkk im getting the Jitters in handing my notice in.

Please help because its sending me crazy thinking what I should do.

Thanks for the Interest.

------------------------------------

Dump her now. You are already the one making conscesions and you just getting going. Obviously you love her more than she loves you.

I believe this will end badly.

[spiceman]

I notice there is no mention of what I believe is one of the most significant parts of the equation - Your girlfriend's family.

Have you met them? How did you get on? Have you discussed your girlfriend's family with her (importantly her family’s expectations and hopes for her life)?

I know many foreigners who have very successful relationships with well educated Thai women from wealthy families; I'm assuming here that your girlfriend's family are wealthy on the basis of what you are telling us.

Of the people I know who are married to wealthy Thais all have, to the best of my knowledge had to jump through the family hoops and gain acceptance.

I'll add this is true of many Thai families and not just Thai families, my own father often related the 'challenges' he faced gaining acceptance as a foreigner with my mother's parents.

But I believe there are especial issues with wealthy Thais and particularly if they are Chinese/Thai.

Now I'm sure there are members who will respond that their wife's family accepted them without question, I'm sure some did, but if you have not yet met your girlfriend's family then I would advise you hold any life changing plans until you have - and importantly until they have met you - and had a chance to make their minds up about you.

----

but hey what’s money !!! Happiness is everything right?

Well, yes and no.

Money becomes extremely difficult when you don't have any.

The observation I would make here is that if she is returning to Thailand because she misses her life style back home, then rocks up in a flash car.

Find out what her life style expectations are. What she was brought up with will be a pretty good guide.

Then go back to what I said right up top and find out what her family's expectations are for their daughter.

Hello Guesthouse.

Here are some answers to your questions.

My girlfriends family live at Chantaburie. I have met her parents on couple of occasions, her dad is Chinese and her mother is Thai, she also has 1 sister. I think her family are not wealthy but just average....

Only her sister can speak little English, she is a Nurse, so obviously me not speaking Thai I couldn't communicate with her parents at all.

Her family greeted me when I arrived and cooked me lovely seafood. It was very nice of them to treat me in such a friendly way. As for the rest of her family, meaning Uncle's - Aunties, cousins etc. They have pretty good jobs - Pilots, doctors, some work high up in the goverment etc "she said"

As for my girlfriend she moved to stay with her Uncle from when she was around 12 years old because her parents felt that it was better for her to be educated in bkk. Her uncle ( american ) married her Auntie and has been living in Thailand for 40 years. Still to this day she lives with her American uncle - Auntie and maids.

I dont know what her family are expecting of me but when Ive asked the question to her before she says all they want is for her to be happy!

Hope it helps.

Cheers.

[GuestHouse]

Thanks for your response Spiceman, and sorry to pose the questions as something I am asking, the intent was to encourage you to ask the questions of yourself and your relationship.

[think_too_mut]

I notice there is no mention of what I believe is one of the most significant parts of the equation - Your girlfriend's family.

Have you met them? How did you get on? Have you discussed your girlfriend's family with her (importantly her family’s expectations and hopes for her life)?

I know many foreigners who have very successful relationships with well educated Thai women from wealthy families; I'm assuming here that your girlfriend's family are wealthy on the basis of what you are telling us.

Of the people I know who are married to wealthy Thais all have, to the best of my knowledge had to jump through the family hoops and gain acceptance.

I'll add this is true of many Thai families and not just Thai families, my own father often related the 'challenges' he faced gaining acceptance as a foreigner with my mother's parents.

But I believe there are especial issues with wealthy Thais and particularly if they are Chinese/Thai.

Now I'm sure there are members who will respond that their wife's family accepted them without question, I'm sure some did, but if you have not yet met your girlfriend's family then I would advise you hold any life changing plans until you have - and importantly until they have met you - and had a chance to make their minds up about you.

----

but hey what’s money !!! Happiness is everything right?

Well, yes and no.

Money becomes extremely difficult when you don't have any.

The observation I would make here is that if she is returning to Thailand because she misses her life style back home, then rocks up in a flash car.

Find out what her life style expectations are. What she was brought up with will be a pretty good guide.

Then go back to what I said right up top and find out what her family's expectations are for their daughter.

Hello Guesthouse.

Here are some answers to your questions.

My girlfriends family live at Chantaburie. I have met her parents on couple of occasions, her dad is Chinese and her mother is Thai, she also has 1 sister. I think her family are not wealthy but just average....

Only her sister can speak little English, she is a Nurse, so obviously me not speaking Thai I couldn't communicate with her parents at all.

Her family greeted me when I arrived and cooked me lovely seafood. It was very nice of them to treat me in such a friendly way. As for the rest of her family, meaning Uncle's - Aunties, cousins etc. They have pretty good jobs - Pilots, doctors, some work high up in the goverment etc "she said"

As for my girlfriend she moved to stay with her Uncle from when she was around 12 years old because her parents felt that it was better for her to be educated in bkk. Her uncle ( american ) married her Auntie and has been living in Thailand for 40 years. Still to this day she lives with her American uncle - Auntie and maids.

I dont know what her family are expecting of me but when Ive asked the question to her before she says all they want is for her to be happy!

Hope it helps.

Cheers.

Troll? It did take me some minutes to respond. Now I regret that waste of time.

[sunshine13]

she has been living with an american uncle? that should make things much easier for you. i say go for it. thailand is awesome, ive never been to england and have ZERO intentions of changing that fact.

[sunshine13]

are you going to marry this chick? relocating just so you can date her seems kind of silly unless you would rather live in thailand anyways.

[Heng]

I'd say don't burn your bridges. I think you mentioned a rental. I keep two in the west (stateside). It's a nice hedge/cushion for when/if your income dips while you're getting started over here. It's all relative, but IMO about 80-90k Baht a month would be a good ballpark avg. as a rental income target for your cushion.

On another note, even though I spend about a month in the US each year.... I doubt I could suddenly go back and start up new business ventures over there (other than continuing to collect rent and perhaps acquire more property). Others here disagree and say they could do it, but IMO it's really easy to get addicted to living here (workwise: you get to delegate menial tasks to others here; back home in the west that's more difficult) while at the same time getting out of groove -with market trends, etc.- with "life back home."

As Jimmy said... "But the warm summer breezes, the French wine and cheese put his ambition at bay... the summers and winters scattered like splinters ...And four or five years slipped away." I know for me, it seems like 10 years have just flown.

[sunshine13]

80,000 baht/mo is what i spend a month and i think this is somewhere in the middle for farang living long term in thailand.

[kayo]

80k spending a month, to me seems a bit high, but then all the factors come into play, ie: where you live, and how you live for example. I was probably spending less than half that, in a country town, including eating out and drinking out every day.

In terms of the whole "going back home" thing.

It IS very difficult. You become adjusted (spoilt?) by a new, previously inconceived way of life out in the Land of Smiles (or other, similar places) and to return to the "menial" life back home is horrendous.

I am undergoing it now, following ten years in "lesser developed" countries, and the adaptation is tremendous, terrifying, etc etc... But it can be done.

I know many on these boards who have done it, and i hope to add myself to the list.

I do however, have every intention of returning to the good life.

[Rsee]

If you are intent to make the move to be close to her....consider a compromise by also searching for a similar career based in Singpaore, KL, HK, or some other country close to Thailand.

This way, you could visit each other on weekends/vacations until you know for sure that she is the one...yet maintaining your skills and hopefully maintaining a decent salary.

[shochu]

One consideration you have overlooked is that in the past wealthy families sent their kids overseas. Now, many middle class families send their kids overseas for an education with their only savings and expect their kids will come and support them - an investment if you will.

I don't know if this is a consideration or not. You really need to talk to her and clarify many things.

But, i wouldn't give up your whole life for something unless it is a sure, or at least an almost sure thing.

Relationships in asia begin with love in high school and college. Then they quickly progress to a somewhat (depending on each individual) a calculated arrangement. We can say financial here if you want to. There are no misunderstandings of the roles people play here. You are the main provider and she the main controller of the house and all things regarding family such as kids, education, etc. The relationship can quickly turn sour once those roles become strained. That is not to say there is no love in the relationship. Just that it is more clear cut along with the emotional. Some good relationships will work through rough times and others will not. (Just like anywhere else - except money and responsibility exacts a much heavier burden here than in other - western nations). So, the question is which is yours? Difficult to tell in such a short time.

She sounds wonderful - considering she offered to help you in the future, but things also change, sometimes for the better, and the worse.

You could stretch the money to last 2 years if need be. Just adapt to a more thai lifestyle.

[The Professor]

Dont make radical moves for someone you met thru the net. this is a fatal error

[a2396]

Dont make radical moves for someone you met thru the net. this is a fatal error

I certainly agree with this. Better make sure she is who and what she says she is. If things check out, you may have a good one. I would inquire if she has some marketibility with her skills to work in your country or both of you could relocate to a third country, such as Malaysia or Singapore, depending on where you both can land jobs.

[Macx]

For the memories and wisdom of old men.

Ah, but what would I give for that wonderful, helpless, terrifying, ambrosia-laced rush of being swept away by love--that precious sensation, rare enough when I was young and now...

But if you must ask the question, then perhaps you shouldn't be making the leap.

[Maizefarmer]

Hello to everybody on this Forum. Ive read and learnt so much over the past year and now would like some good advise from you professionals please.....

Here is my Story: Going back 1.5 years ago I met this well educated Thai girl , she has her Masters degree which she studied at chulalongkorn Uni and then had a placement at Aachen Uni ( Germany ) for 6 months. The way we met was falirly strange because I met her through one of her Friends which I previously talked to over a internet chat site. (Thailandfriends.com)

I talked to my (now)Thai girlfriend for about 6 months on msn before actually meeting her in bkk. The first day I arrived in Thailand I could feel that maybe I got lucky when she pulled up in a fairly decent car to pick me up from my hotel, Since then we have spent many months together in Bkk and Germany , also England. She has just gone back home to carry on with her Job in Bkk as a Technical sales representative - Her profession is that she installs and gives advise to doctors about heart pacemakers and Icd units. she works for a well known heart pacemaking company.

Now this is the problem we have: After she spent many weeks in England she has told me that she dosent really want to live here becuase of the lifestyle, food etc.

I love this girl very much but for us to be together I need to leave my fairly well paid Job. Im an aeronautical ground lighting engineer. Ive applied for many jobs over the Internet to work in the Engineering field in bkk but as of yet nothing. My plan is to leave England and my job so we can be together in Thailand. I have enough savings to last me 2 years whilst studying Thai and looking for work. She has also said that if I need help after the 2 years she will be their to help me! She has met all my family and friends which they all like her... She is 30 and I'm 35.

My question is should I go for it and take the gamble or is that a stupid decision to make ? I've read so many reports that its hard finding work in bkk im getting the Jitters in handing my notice in.

Please help because its sending me crazy thinking what I should do.

Thanks for the Interest.

Are you lucky??

Good question - would you saying or considering yourself "lucky" if you had a relationship with a UK girl who was educated to the same level?

If not, why do you percieve it in those terms with respect to a Thai girl?

[spiceman]

Spiceman is on the move!!!

I've debated this for ages now and its time to make the final decison.

I respect everybody's advice and have thought about this very carefully.

I will be leaving the Uk to live in thailand from November. I know the job prospects dont look good but all I can say is I will try my best to overcome this situation. To be honest, I dont know how many of you on this forum are from England but the country is going down hill rapidly. I'ts not just about her not wanting to come here its also about me having new opportunity for something Ive never done before. I know the pattern of my life here in England and its getting somewhat boring , Ive lived on my own for the past 15 years, well give or take a few months with the occasional relationship but for some reason this one feels right!

I've had a couple of 7 years relationships with English girls and both have been very good. This relationship with my present Thai girlfriend feels even better! She has never asked anything from me but to stay faithfull. She has always been so generous to me on Birthdays. Christmas etc. She even took me to Rome for the weekend , fully paid I might add. No other girl has done that before , So yes I think Ive got lucky!

Something that I do find confusing is that all or most of you are living in bkk , are you all working there?

How did you find work if its nearly so impossible....

Anyway my plan is to live cheap , eat reasonable low cost food and drink wisely ! Join a gym and learn Thai. That should be enough to start with...Hopefully doors will unlock within time...

Sometimes in life we have to take a gamble. If I dont take this now I think I will always look back and think what IF???????

Well, Thanks again for all the replies , You really all got me thinking! The end of the day once the brain has made its mind up its so hard for us to change...

Cheers

Spiceman

[Mighty Mouse]

I dont know how many of you on this forum are from England but the country is going down hill rapidly.

Ahmen.

[endure]

I dont know how many of you on this forum are from England but the country is going down hill rapidly.

Ahmen.

Can you tell us the last time you spent any time in England?

[terry57]

Spiceman is on the move!!!

I've debated this for ages now and its time to make the final decison.

I respect everybody's advice and have thought about this very carefully.

I will be leaving the Uk to live in thailand from November. I know the job prospects dont look good but all I can say is I will try my best to overcome this situation. To be honest, I dont know how many of you on this forum are from England but the country is going down hill rapidly. I'ts not just about her not wanting to come here its also about me having new opportunity for something Ive never done before. I know the pattern of my life here in England and its getting somewhat boring , Ive lived on my own for the past 15 years, well give or take a few months with the occasional relationship but for some reason this one feels right!

I've had a couple of 7 years relationships with English girls and both have been very good. This relationship with my present Thai girlfriend feels even better! She has never asked anything from me but to stay faithfull. She has always been so generous to me on Birthdays. Christmas etc. She even took me to Rome for the weekend , fully paid I might add. No other girl has done that before , So yes I think Ive got lucky!

Something that I do find confusing is that all or most of you are living in bkk , are you all working there?

How did you find work if its nearly so impossible....

Anyway my plan is to live cheap , eat reasonable low cost food and drink wisely ! Join a gym and learn Thai. That should be enough to start with...Hopefully doors will unlock within time...

Sometimes in life we have to take a gamble. If I dont take this now I think I will always look back and think what IF???????

Well, Thanks again for all the replies , You really all got me thinking! The end of the day once the brain has made its mind up its so hard for us to change...

Cheers

Spiceman

i think its a fatal mistake to leave england and come to thailand just because of a woman.

one must realise, women come and go in ones life and this seems to happen far more often in los.

a far better reason would be, " im coming to thailand because i want to be in thailand and not in the old blighty. "

anyway,

good luck mate, but dont place your future happiness in the hands of a woman, but find it within yourself first.

this way when you find yourself alone its never a problem.

[Mobi]

I dont know how many of you on this forum are from England but the country is going down hill rapidly.

Ahmen.

Can you tell us the last time you spent any time in England?

Methinks Herr Rodent has a tiny chip on his shoulder about the 'old country'.

He never seems to miss an opportunity to dump on the poms - no doubt trying to provoke someone into a pommie bashing spat.

I am the last one to defend what is going on back in Blighty, and having been away from there for a number of years, I wouldn't presume to comment what the current situation there is. But I have a lot of family - brothers , sisters, married daughters and sons, and countless friends and acquaintances who are all very happy to live there, and that includes dozens of Thais (including my ex) who have settled all over England and are happy and would never come back to Thailand.

So, once again, its horses for courses, and Britain, being the 4th largest economy in the world, and according to some predictions (although I don't personally believe them) will become even stronger in the next ten years, can't be that bad a place to live.

Back on topic, all I can say is the best of luck Spiceman. Sounds like you might have found a good one there - but please be careful, I'm not joking when I tell you that Thai ladies can be extremely tricky and devious - regardless of their background and education, and many can eat naive farangs for breakfast.

Personally, I think you are making a mistake, and you will struggle to find a worthwhile job. It is the wrong time to come here.

Having said that, as a young man, more than once I winged my way across the world, following love (and not only to Thailand), and every time the romance turned out badly, but I had a whale of a time along the way and learned a lot about life. But that was long time ago, and I think the world is a different place these days.

Anyway, you gotta do what you gotta do.. Good luck, and try not to burn all your bridges back home.

Edited April 17, 2007 by Mobi D'Ark

[roguegirl]

i think its a fatal mistake to leave england and come to thailand just because of a woman.

one must realise, women come and go in ones life and this seems to happen far more often in los.

a far better reason would be, " im coming to thailand because i want to be in thailand and not in the old blighty. "

anyway,

good luck mate, but dont place your future happiness in the hands of a woman, but find it within yourself first.

this way when you find yourself alone its never a problem.

The best advise I've read so far. Be in Thailand because you want to be there. Never come because of a woman.

[TaoNow]

Spiceman: It sounds as if you have followed the majority opinion on this thread and have decided to re-locate to Thailand. I have one piece of advice: You should try to live with your girlfriend in your own separate residence for at least six moniths before getting married. You can agree to do the engagement ceremony bit if she or her family would feel better. But I would not do a registered marriage or the marriage cerfemony until you've had a chance to see how she behaves in a Thai domestic situation. She sounds like a gem of a girl, but sometimes there are surprising transformations. In particular, observe how she treats other Thais of lower economic status and lower education when in the household.

Best of luck.

[Neeranam]

Seems like you're suggesting that the rest of us have uneducated women.

In my experience, education is not important in love.

[TaoNow]

Neeranam, you missed my point...which is that some charming Thai ladies change (for the worse) after becoming "Mrs. Farang". Then again, some don't. Best to try a pre-test if OP is contemplating marrfaige.

[Neeranam]

Neeranam, you missed my point...which is that some charming Thai ladies change (for the worse) after becoming "Mrs. Farang". Then again, some don't. Best to try a pre-test if OP is contemplating marrfaige.

No. I see your point - I was eferring to the OP.