Genuine friendships in Thailand.

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, dubai thai farang said:

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Most Thais would assume any Thai woman with a white guy was a hooker, and look down on her.

Just the way Thailand is ..........

A few years ago for sure. Not so much now, certainly in Bkk.

 

Antiquated opinions are difficult to get over when one is stuck paying for it and never gets the opportunity to see the world from a balanced perspective.

 

Thai's (*and many Westerners) can immediately tell if a woman is a working girl or not - it doesn't take much.

 

You can walk through any mall in Bangkok and see the scores of mixed but perfectly normal couples in normal relationships just like any major city in the world.

You can also see the guys with their latest acquisition completely oblivious to how obvious they are.

 

The guys who don't know this don't know this because they themselves are the oblivious ones.

 

 

[brokenbone]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Most Thais would assume any Thai woman with a white guy was a hooker, and look down on her.

Just the way Thailand is ..........

no, they have a much higher ability then us to differentiate between them

[richard_smith237]

On the friendship thing...  One of my closest friends of over 20 years is a Thai Guy.

 

We became friends in our 20's, I think its easier to develop genuine friendships when younger as there is more time for the friendship and trust to develop as you become true friends.

 

I can see how it is difficult though. I don't know many male foreigners here with a very close Thai Male friends.

I have always put this down to social-economics and language barrier.

Most Thai males speak little English and are from a lower socio-economic background than the western counterparts they may meet, add in to the mix 'where' these folk are more likely to meet in a social setting (i.e. in a bar) and the Westerns are not really there for the Thai males anyway, trusting relationships are unlikely to develop.

 

However, in a setting where a Thai speaks excellent (educated) English, where the age-socio-economic-educational demographics are similar a certain 'stigma' is removed and natural friendships can develop as they would in many other countries.

 

I do know of such friendships other than my own where the Thai guy and Western guy are from similar education and social-economic backgrounds.

 

People (ThaiVisa readers) may not like the term 'socio-economic-educational backgrounds' in this context, however, in this context and many other situations involving cross cultural interaction the socio-economic-educational similarities play a key roll in the outcome of such meetings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[dubai thai farang]

10 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Antiquated opinions are difficult to get over when one is stuck paying for it and never gets the opportunity to see the world from a balanced perspective.

 

Thai's (*and many Westerners) can immediately tell if a woman is a working girl or not - it doesn't take much.

 

You can walk through any mall in Bangkok and see the scores of mixed but perfectly normal couples in normal relationships just like any major city in the world.

You can also see the guys with their latest acquisition completely oblivious to how obvious they are.

 

The guys who don't know this don't know this because they themselves are the oblivious ones.

 

 

of course, I think my point was similar. the guys at my work were oblivious that their girlfriends were dressed like sluts at our works dos. of course their other halves knew exactly that they couldnt converse with my colleagues. Having a hooker as your bird (aside from other massive negatives) will hold you back making other Thai friends as the hooker partner will be shy to meet non hookers. it highlights they're on the lowest rung of the ladder.

[BritManToo]

7 minutes ago, dubai thai farang said:

Having a hooker as your bird (aside from other massive negatives) will hold you back making other Thai friends as the hooker partner will be shy to meet non hookers. it highlights they're on the lowest rung of the ladder.

Doesn't bother me.

Only fellow English guys can be my friends, preferably from London or the South..

All other Nationalities, no thanks

Edited April 22, 2020 by BritManToo

[dubai thai farang]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Doesn't bother me.

Only fellow English guys can be my friends, preferably from London or the South..

All other Nationalities, no thanks

 

can't argue with that. but for the OP its a useful trouble shooting tip. 

[Damrongsak]

On 4/19/2020 at 11:17 PM, kenk24 said:

you mean they complain too much about their lives when you want to be complaining about yours? 

Oy vey!  You wouldn't believe the schmucks I have to deal with.  Why, just the other day this guy ...

 

[Damrongsak]

13 hours ago, VocalNeal said:

A bit late for most of us? Retirement "experts" recommend holidaying where you wish to retire many times to get your face known in the area so that when you do retire a lot of people there will "know" or recognize you.

 

But yes a shared pastime is always good as well.  

Lived in Loei 40+ years back and married there.  On a visit there about 20 years later, I had a few people in the market flag me down.  Wife's relatives or old high school friends selling stuff.  I didn't know who they were but they remembered me. One day I was walking and some gal in a nice Toyota SUV stopped and called out my name - another of the wife's old friends whom I did know.  Pretty neat. 

[mrfaroukh]

Well if you think you go to a bar and talk with a guy become friend will work then you are wrong. I have many good friends from my country. I was friendly with one then met others and the numbers just grow. I also have few good friends in the hotel i live. They are from Italy, Germany, Nederland, France. It took time to find few friends but people just keep on watching your behavior where you live and if you are open minded and respect others you will find good friend for sure. Regarding Thai people it is not very easy to find one which is not after your money and I don't blame them either. They are poor and they are looking for a job. What are they going to get if they spend their time with you and me? You just have to be careful not to be burn by them but spending few dollars here and there doesn't harm anyone unless you are a real cheap charli

[torturedsole]

22 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Thai guys used to hit on my Thai wife all the time, everywhere we went, when I was with her, and when she was alone.

Bus stations, food stalls, walking along the road, it was an amazing sight to see.

Never worried me, It's how Thailand is.

My Thai wife has same experience in LOS and UK.  She's attractive and if I got upset then I'd be in a fight everyday.  

 

There's some people that like to push the limits, though.  

[torturedsole]

22 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

In an ideal world we are friends with our wives. Too many are married to people that are not friends and when the lust wears off there isn't anything to keep them together.

 

Never worried me either

C19 lockdown is a good litmus test of the meaning of loyalty, thaibeachlovers.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/21/2020 at 4:34 PM, transam said:

Yes I did, was with my ex wife for 23 years, we were two peas in a pod for 21 of those, then, BANG, she decided to do something different. After that shock I decided to do something different too and ended up in LOS.

So pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease don't go down the 'everything is perfect route' because for many it doesn't turn out that way.

 

I have now been married to my Thai wife for near 14 years, we get on well, but you never know...????  

Remember that Julia Roberts film where she is married to a really nice guy, but dumps him because she wants to "find herself"?

Being Hollywood and Roberts she moves to Bali and finds the handsome man that sets her on fire, unlike what would happen in real life where she'd end up settling for some jerk just so she didn't starve.

Us silly men think that if everything is OK we don't have to ruin our partner's life just because we want something we can probably never have, but that's because we are men. Women are inexplicable to us.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, torturedsole said:

C19 lockdown is a good litmus test of the meaning of loyalty, thaibeachlovers.

I said right at the beginning of lockdown the divorce lawyers will be happy- I have not changed my mind. Domestic violence has increased substantially.

Women seem to have a knack of marrying violent men instead of nice guys. My first partner did that, and I asked her why- "because I thought I could change him". Then, having hooked a non violent guy, she set about driving me to the point I left her. Just can't please some.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/21/2020 at 3:13 PM, roaming2019 said:

A genuine friendship happens if it ever happens . you dont go out look for it .  You are lucky if you have one if not just think you gotta bad day 

True. All my friendships happened by chance meetings, and not all were because of shared interests.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/21/2020 at 2:25 PM, nobodysfriend said:

But that is true for farang as well ...

The thing is that most active members of this forum are older white men , who still remember the good times they had when they were young ... but the times have changed , the world has changed . Keep up with that .

Be young in your heart , laugh as much as possible , don't take things too serious and do not get involved in something that will bring trouble to you ... some short time friends will come ( and later go ... ? ) , if you behave like that .

But , at least , you had some fun ...

I never had "good times" when I was young because like all young people I knew nothing and appreciated nothing. My actual good times didn't start till I was nearly 30, ended when I foolishly partnered a western woman, and started again in my 50s when I discovered Thai women.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/21/2020 at 9:43 AM, luckyluke said:

And you both know how the evening will end. 

Not unless money is involved, and I speak from experience.

[luckyluke]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Not unless money is involved, and I speak from experience.

"When paying, you choose if you want to go for a drink, a meal, movie or whatever.

 

You don't have to go to fancy expensive places if you don't want to.

 

You can hold her hand or not, you decide. 

 

And you both know how the evening will end."