Help me figure out my life with my thai GF.

[misterjames]

6 hours ago, PatchinExPat said:

But, there are Thai women who clearly have thought out life paths, that include finding a good 

husband

The thing is that in a Thai's mind the only thing that makes you a good husband is money they don't care if you're young good looking or old and bald the bottom line is what can you do for her and her family financially that is not love as we know it in the west and that is my point.

 

In my experience of over 11 years in Thailand is that I have never seen a real genuine pure relationship that I would be happy with between a foreigner and a Thai it is always some kind of business arrangement one way or another.

 

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I thought in another post you were leaving 'cos your wife didn't do any of that?

Great to hear from the 'There are good Thai women out there but I didn't find one' posters.

Always the optimist!

Seems like a lot of these guys are trying to convinlce themselves sadly.

 

I hope I'm wrong and they have found real love but I personally am sceptical from what I have seen over the years.

[Mavideol]

and you come to TV asking for relationship advise 555 good luck,

pedirle a la Thai Visa consejos sobre relaciones... LOL buena suerte

[talahtnut]

Mate, commit to nothing, sign nothing

for at least 10 years.

There's never a shortage of wimmin looking

for an unsuspecting twit and wallet to flop onto.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, misterjames said:

The thing is that in a Thai's mind the only thing that makes you a good husband is money they don't care if you're young good looking or old and bald the bottom line is what can you do for her and her family financially that is not love as we know it in the west and that is my point.

In my experience of over 11 years in Thailand is that I have never seen a real genuine pure relationship that I would be happy with between a foreigner and a Thai it is always some kind of business arrangement one way or another.

Seems like a lot of these guys are trying to convinlce themselves sadly.

I hope I'm wrong and they have found real love but I personally am sceptical from what I have seen over the years.

I'm happy with the business relationship.

If I were with her for 'love', she'd probably want to ration the sex ......... like the Brit wife used to do.

[BritManToo]

53 minutes ago, talahtnut said:

There's never a shortage of wimmin looking

for an unsuspecting twit and wallet to flop onto.

That's the bit I like about Thailand ....... them flopping onto me.

[1FinickyOne]

22 hours ago, khunpa said:

Often the guys who burn their fingers here, have treated their Thai-partner bad and therefore ended up with problems. 

And so many of them don't even realize how and why...

[n00dle]

On 6/1/2020 at 11:53 PM, kingofthemountain said:

Ok i try

 

first where and how do you meet her?

What is her actual work? Where does she lives and with who?

You are not forced to answer but it's very important to know these basics things

to help you because you are not the only one to decide (Like you seem to think)

about your future together. She has also probably an idea about the future but 

the Thai way is to say ''up to you'' and after do everything they can to go in their 

way, and if it's not go their way, usualy everything go south

 

For your question no you can not work legaly in Thailand if you don't have a work permit

work as a teacher on line or some others stuff on internet but it's a ''grey'' area and the risk is real.

If you want (And if you like) to live with a permanent threat above you, let's go, but i don't recomand you to do that.

A permanaent threat. 

 

Sigh.

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

22 hours ago, misterjames said:

You can also find loads of guys in the west that have been rinsed for their houses possessions etc etc by Thai women

but not by farang women? What about guys in the West who marry farang women 20 years younger? Do you think there is a financial aspect? Why would that be different here? 

 

Do you think you have just discovered something? 

 

And since you are discovering things - - how many parents in the west would prefer their daughter marry the doctor over the motorcycle riding poet? 

[misterjames]

20 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

but not by farang women? What about guys in the West who marry farang women 20 years younger? Do you think there is a financial aspect? Why would that be different here? 

Confused what point you are making? who mentioned a two decade age gap? the OP is 26 if he married a women 20 years younger she would be 6 years old so we aren't talking about a guy looking to date a women two decades younger than himself ???? 

20 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Do you think you have just discovered something? 

No... what a strange remark? actually I'm just trying to save the lad some heartache (if he is looking for a genuine relationship) does that bother you?

 

20 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

how many parents in the west would prefer their daughter marry the doctor over the motorcycle riding poet? 

I'm fairly confident to say that a girl of 26 in the west would choose a motorcycle riding poet over an old pervy doctor because she is not choosing her mate based what he can do for her (money, visa etc) also her parents would let her choose whatever guy she has feelings for and actively discourage her from getting into a relationship with an old man for financial gain regardless of how much money he has and what he can do for the family but here in LOS the girls are taught and actually encouraged to believe money trumps love and that they have to find someone wealthy that can pay them sin sod take care of her and her family and or give her an express ticket to the west (so she can bring more money home) regardless of if she truly loves him or is some kind of sex pest this is the difference ... Does that sound like love to you? I rest my case....

 

Edited June 3, 2020 by misterjames

[BritManToo]

13 minutes ago, misterjames said:

Confused what point you are making? who mentioned a two decade age gap? the OP is 26 if he married a women 20 years younger she would be 6 years old so we aren't talking about a guy looking to date a women two decades younger than himself ???? 

Is there a difference between an INCEL and an old guy?

They both can't get laid in the west.

[misterjames]

19 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Is there a difference between an INCEL and an old guy?

They both can't get laid in the west.

Exactly so that leads me to believe if this guy is coming to LOS at 26 to find love something aint right.

 

Too many guys come here thinking they suddenly become attractive when they step off the plane in Thailand which is not the case women here just have different requirements (ie rich a desirable nationality etc etc) they would still rather be banging Brad Pitt just like the western girls ???? however they will date these guys but view it as work (not love) to improve their situation whether its money or a ticket to the west or other benefits (until something better comes along) which is the point I have been trying to make to these guys.

 

 

 

Edited June 3, 2020 by misterjames

[khunpa]

2 hours ago, misterjames said:

The thing is that in a Thai's mind the only thing that makes you a good husband is money they don't care if you're young good looking or old and bald the bottom line is what can you do for her and her family financially that is not love as we know it in the west and that is my point.

 

In my experience of over 11 years in Thailand is that I have never seen a real genuine pure relationship that I would be happy with between a foreigner and a Thai it is always some kind of business arrangement one way or another.

 

Seems like a lot of these guys are trying to convinlce themselves sadly.

 

I hope I'm wrong and they have found real love but I personally am sceptical from what I have seen over the years.

Sure there are marriages based on money in Thailand. That goes even for some Thai/Thai relationships, as they also exist everywhere else in the world.

 

That said, I know quite a few mixed relationships that are for sure not based on money and were both parties are working and contributing financially. Just as my wife works hard (more than me) and can fully take care of herself. 
 

Outside the bar-scene there are many decent hardworking and single Thai women, who would be great wife’s and mother’s.

 

Of all my married friends in my home country, I would for sure never wish to swap places with any of them. Most constantly whine about their wife’s.
 

Financially my previous marriage to a western woman cost me more than my Thai wife would ever do. Never going that way again for sure.

 

 

Edited June 3, 2020 by khunpa

[pixelaoffy]

dont waste your life with a Thai girl who is culturally totally different from yourself and as has been said many times "wired" differently from western women!

[misterjames]

9 minutes ago, khunpa said:

Sure there are marriages based on money in Thailand. That goes even for some Thai/Thai relationships, as they also exist everywhere else in the world.

 

Outside the bar-scene there are many decent hardworking and single Thai women, who would be great wife’s and mother’s.

 

Of all my married friends in my home country, I would for sure never wish to swap places with any of them. 
 

My previous marriage to a western woman cost me more than my Thai wife would ever do. Neve going that way again for sure.

Just to be clear I am just giving my opinion based on what I have seen with my own eyes I am not saying it doesn't exist, I just haven't seen any real genuine relationships in my time here personally (in my opinion) and for the record I don't live in Pattaya ( never been) I don't go to girly bars and like yourself I have always dated hardworking women with jobs education etc although I have dated some nice girls my opinion is their idea of love is quite different along with their mindset which is drummed into them from a young age their idea love is not love as we know it in the west in my opinion and guys searching for love in the western sense are the ones that end up leaping off balconies here eventually when they realise it.

 

Edited June 3, 2020 by misterjames

[PingRoundTheWorld]

Just what Thailand needs- another broke online marketer barely scraping by. By all means, come on over!

[Kadilo]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

That's the bit I like about Thailand ....... them flopping onto me.

I trust you’re referring to their t.its and not their belly. 

[BritTim]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Not true, it's almost always the woman.

She either leaves herself, or makes life so unbearable the man is forced to go.

Do you believe that is true in marriages in the West also? Or, are Western men who marry Thai women in some way different from Western men who marry Western women?

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, BritTim said:

Do you believe that is true in marriages in the West also? Or, are Western men who marry Thai women in some way different from Western men who marry Western women?

It's the same for divorce all over the world.

All caused by women.

 

In Oman there's no divorce, because she would walk away with nothing, and men generally don't initiate divorce.

(unless forced by extreme measures by the woman)

[1FinickyOne]

3 hours ago, misterjames said:

Does that sound like love to you? I rest my case....

You are just all cliched out - I guess. First I never called the doctor old and pervy... you did... and yes, I have been here a long time and know many many people who have good relationships w/their wives... love changes through the years and if you come to a poor country money is a factor... not everything as you seem to imply... it is in the West too, but less so... 

[misterjames]

23 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

You are just all cliched out 

What does that even mean? ????

 

23 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

First I never called the doctor old and pervy... you did... 

Well considering it takes 10 years to become a general practitioner after finishing school and a-levels that would make a doctor at least 30 and heading towards 40 if he were training to be a surgeon or some other kind of well payed specialist consultant so I suspect most decent mothers and fathers in the west would not push their young daughter into a relationship with a man of that age. I said pervy because that is what mothers and fathers will think of you if you are that age trying to date their daughter who is 20 years your junior. In fact a man of that age would probably get a good beating from the father rather than having the mans daughter handed to him on a plate for a few bucks like they do here. Which is my point entirely.

 

23 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

not everything as you seem to imply... it is in the West too, but less so... 

If you read my posts more carefully you will notice that I have said quite often that my posts are just my opinion I am not arrogant enough to think that my opinion is the way it is necessarily but based on my experience it is my view . You just seem to think differently in the way that your opinion is how it is and anyone who disagrees is wrong and "cliched out" whatever that means? ???? I think it is this that shows the difference between me and you.

 

 

 

 

Edited June 3, 2020 by misterjames

[NCC1701A]

On 6/2/2020 at 12:12 AM, espanolentailandia said:

I am 26 years old but i don't really thing age matters.

you are so right. i am 64 and my last girlfriend was 25.

 

i really think the 24 to 27 year old age range is great.    

[1FinickyOne]

7 hours ago, misterjames said:

"cliched out" whatever that means?

It means you speak your opinion based on the 'half-side' of the story you read on tvf - and I speak from the experience of knowing actual people... most all of whom have decent relationships w/their Thai wives - if you only read the complainers, that is where your 'knowledge' comes from... I have a 20 yr marriage here and most of my friends do too... I won't bother you with what makes it good, as you seem to prefer the moaners here... who likely don't tell you that they call their in-laws names, just tell you that they are unliked... probably most don't even realize why... so, you go with the cliches... the family are all bloodsuckers, want my money, treat me like I don't matter, etc etc.. they call their wives stupid - when they are the ones who can't speak the language, can't understand that they are in a different culture and that means different ways of doing things... they think sin sod is something made up to hose the farang... and everything is all about hosing the farang

 

And in my example of the doctor which you have taken to extremes to make it "perverted", lets just adjust that to a med student of the same age as I expected you might understand before you twisted it... my simple premise before you twist it being that any parent would prefer their daughter to choose a responsible capable person who will have a better chance to provide a good future... including being a good financial provider... and yes, lets hope you are not immature enough to believe that "love" is the only consideration in choosing a mate [in any society]... nor is sex.. kindness and compatibility are the important features that are left as romantic passionate love tends to fade for most... 

 

sure, go ahead and twist away... what if the doctor is a homicidal maniac... what if your wife's sister loses her job and wants 20 baht for a bowl of soup... I am sure you are a nice bright fellow, you are just a bit brainwashed by the unhappy, unsuccessful people who complain. 

[misterjames]

9 hours ago, kenk24 said:

It means you speak your opinion based on the 'half-side' of the story you read on tvf

No as I've said it's my opinion based on what I have seen with my own eyes I also said I'm not saying true love between a foreigner and a Thai  does not exist I'm saying I have never seen it myself in my 11+ years I have never seen a relationship I would personally be happy with myself.

 

 I'm entitled to my own opinion based on my experience and to share it with a young lad asking for advice. Not sure why you are taking issue with that? perhaps you are trying to convince yourself of something?

 

9 hours ago, kenk24 said:

And in my example of the doctor which you have taken to extremes to make it "perverted", lets just adjust that to a med student of the same age as I expected you might understand before you twisted it...

I have not twisted it I based my conclusions on the age of the original poster and the amount of time it takes to become a doctor which is perfectly logical.

 

9 hours ago, kenk24 said:

lets just adjust that to a med student of the same age

Seems like you are the one twisting your own words now which were what I based my conclusions about the age of the hypothetical doctor you mentioned. Besides it's irrelevant because you know for a fact that a Thai family would send their 20 year old daughter off with a rich old doctor if he was rich regardless of if she loved him or not which is my point exactly. This would not happen in the west and it is not about love whatsoever it's about financial gain which perfectly highlights my point about "love" if you can call it that not being the same here.

 

9 hours ago, kenk24 said:

can't understand that they are in a different culture and that means different ways of doing things...

Actually that is exactly what I was saying if you bothered to read my posts their idea of love is different Thai love and western love are not the same thing. Thai "love" if you can call it that is based on material things as soon as the money / benefits of the relationship are gone so is the "love" when in the west we marry for richer for poorer in sickness and in health when things go wrong financially you work through them together as a couple.

 

When a western guy in a relationship with a Thai loses money his teerak is gone in a flash without any second thought there is no loyalty no partnership because in the eyes of his "partner" and her family he is no longer "good man" the only conclusion that I draw from this is that the only thing that makes a good man (partner) in a vast majority of Thai's eyes is money.

 

In my opinion this is not true love! if you want to test my theory try going broke and see how long your wife sticks around ????

 

The rest of your posts reads like you are trying to belittle anyone that doesn't have the same viewpoint as you and is nonsensical.

 

 

Edited June 4, 2020 by misterjames

[BritManToo]

49 minutes ago, misterjames said:

No as I've said it's my opinion based on what I have seen with my own eyes I also said I'm not saying true love between a foreigner and a Thai  does not exist I'm saying I have never seen it myself in my 11+ years I have never seen a relationship I would personally be happy with myself.

Agree, I've never seen 'true love on her part' in Thailand either in nearly 12 years.

But I've settled for younger, under 50Kg and in my bed even if she's only there for the money.

Edited June 4, 2020 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

51 minutes ago, misterjames said:

Actually that is exactly what I was saying if you bothered to read my posts their idea of love is different Thai love and western love are not the same thing. Thai "love" if you can call it that is based on material things as soon as the money / benefits of the relationship are gone so is the "love" when in the west we marry for richer for poorer in sickness and in health when things go wrong financially you work through them together as a couple.

Disagree,

Love in the west is exactly the same 'true love on her part' is not real, but it's not so obvious as the government and welfare have skewed the look of the game.

 

Unemployed homeless men don't attract young women anywhere in the world.

Edited June 4, 2020 by BritManToo

[misterjames]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Agreed, I've never seen true love on her part in Thailand either in nearly 12 years.

But I've settled for younger, under 50Kg and in my bed even if she's only there for the money.

That's the key knowing the game and how to play it ????

 

Those that don't get it end up broke at best at worst flying head first off a tower block when they realise the truth too late.

 

Bottom line this kid the OP shouldn't be looking for true love in Thailand at 26 years old if he's looking for some fun sure but not love as we know it.

[misterjames]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Disagree,

Love in the west is exactly the same on her part (not real), but it's not so obvious as the government and welfare have skewed the look of the game.

I guess that is subjective I just see far more of my friends in genuine relationships / marriages back home and women that stand by their man though much more than the Thai's do (which is what I'm basing my opinion off.

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, misterjames said:

Bottom line this kid the OP shouldn't be looking for true love in Thailand at 26 years old if he's looking for some fun sure but not love as we know it.

To be fair we don't know how unattractive to women the op is.

 

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, misterjames said:

I guess that is subjective I just see far more of my friends in genuine relationships / marriages back home and women that stand by their man though much more than the Thai's do (which is what I'm basing my opinion off.

Back home, no wife in any couple I met ever stayed after his unemployment and homelessness.

[misterjames]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

To be fair we don't know how unattractive to women the op is.

 

Well considering he dissapeared I'm guessing he might be a troll but imo any guy that has to fly 6000 miles to plan a life with a girl he hardly knows is probably punching above his weight especially coming from a country filled with pretty girls of his own age (spain)

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Back home, no wife in any couple I met ever stayed after his unemployment and homelessness.

Not bragging but when I was the OP age I had no work and I was dating one of the worlds top 50 most beautiful women (according to maxim) and she stayed with me when she could have been dating extremely rich men and movie stars and i am not even particularly handsome as far as I know ????

 

Edited June 4, 2020 by misterjames