Dont lend money to Thai "friends"

[baansgr]

16 minutes ago, GarryP said:

One of my father's regular sayings was "If you mix friends and money, you'll end up losing both." 

 

I have been screwed on loans of about Baht 50,000 each by two of my former (deceased) wife's sisters, and not seen a nickel. That was many years ago.  However, more recently I have loaned a Thai motorcycle taxi guy I know Baht 200,000 and got every Baht back. Payments were always on time, and often ahead of schedule.   So painting all Thais with the same brush as many posters seem to do is not fair.  Just be careful. 

I always laugh about this face thing...200,000 baht is the equivalent of a years wage at least...that's like asking someone at foreign land for  £30,000 or mor loan with no security....<deleted> me, face is used as an excuse, as anyone with face or pride wouldn't ask to borrow a dime let alone a years salary

[GarryP]

22 minutes ago, baansgr said:

I always laugh about this face thing...200,000 baht is the equivalent of a years wage at least...that's like asking someone at foreign land for  £30,000 or mor loan with no security....<deleted> me, face is used as an excuse, as anyone with face or pride wouldn't ask to borrow a dime let alone a years salary

Not sure what you are trying to say, but I offered the loan, he did not ask for it. He also did construction/welding work when he got the chance and had a decrepit ex-passenger van, which I suggested he upgrade to a pickup truck as it may help in getting him more work if he looked more professional. He mentioned that as a win motorcycle guy the bank had rejected his request for a loan and that was why he was stuck with the van. It was then that I offered him the loan.   

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, GarryP said:

One of my father's regular sayings was "If you mix friends and money, you'll end up losing both." 

 

I have been screwed on loans of about Baht 50,000 each by two of my former (deceased) wife's sisters, and not seen a nickel. That was many years ago.  However, more recently I have loaned a Thai motorcycle taxi guy I know Baht 200,000 and got every Baht back. Payments were always on time, and often ahead of schedule.   So painting all Thais with the same brush as many posters seem to do is not fair.  Just be careful. 

You seem to have suffered a 33% loss so far, with 66% of your customers not repaying the loans.

You judgement seems to be not so good.

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, Tony s book said:

fresh lessons learned yesterday,  a thai"friend" blocked me from line and phone calls after just one month I lending her 100 USD and 3000thb

Rule 1 for loans

Always after sex, never before.

Rule 2 for loans

You can't trust women.

Edited June 7, 2020 by BritManToo

[mr mr]

take the thai bit out of the title.

 

 

[mr mr]

3 hours ago, BobBKK said:

happens all the time. I will never forget the girl who had a loan from the mafia loan sharks of 30,000 THB and was paying 3,000 THB every month in interest. I took pit as I knew her well (I thought) and she SWORE she would give me the 3,000 she usually pays to the loan sharks for 10 months. Tears in her eyes she thanked me for being so Jai Dii.

 

Last I heard she went to Phuket. Ungrateful bitch. 

maybe bob's tool belt lost some of its luster ?

[mr mr]

3 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

The thing is, most people are not employed now with Covid-19 through no fault of their own, and that person might be embarresed if Thai to lose face by telling you they cannot pay you back out of desperation.

 

When you intend on lending someone money because they ask you to loan them money, you should always ask yourself this, is it ok to say NO and why, I mean are they your responsibility ?

 

From my experiences over my life time, when someone asks me if I can lend them money, I say sorry but I cannot, and if they say why, I say, well since you asked, I value our friendship and lending money to friends has always ended up with the loss of those friendships because they couldn't pay me back, so my policy for years has always been NO lending to anyone. If they persist, get up and walk away, If they cannot accept that tough luck as real friends would never impose on you, to ask for money.

 

What do you have when you lend a friend money, or a relative, nothing, no security, a bank asks for security when you go for a loan, all you have is a make you feel good moment, (sucker) written on your forehead, lending money will mostly always disappoint you at a later date, like now, put it down to a bad experience, forgive that person, but don't forget, and move on, the new word is NO and don't feel guilty saying NO, it's protection against others letting you down !

pretty sure i let my wife down all the time. i just give her the money i don't even loan it. 

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

From my experiences over my life time, when someone asks me if I can lend them money, I say sorry but I cannot, and if they say why, I say, well since you asked, I value our friendship and lending money to friends has always ended up with the loss of those friendships because they couldn't pay me back, so my policy for years has always been NO lending to anyone. If they persist, get up and walk away, If they cannot accept that tough luck as real friends would never impose on you, to ask for money.

It's more Thai to just say you'd love to lend them the money, but you're broke.

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, Tony s book said:

I am a girl also....., i knew her in a hostel when my last visit to bkk that time she was staff there

thats ok here... lots of ladies like girls..

 

but it sounds to me like you don't know her for very long or very well...

 

It sounds like she has decided it is better to not know you then pay you... I get that w/people with AA pedigree... 

 

sorry for your loss, move on.

[Mavideol]

my principles throughout life was very simple "" don't lend money to a friend as you will lose both" or my next one was "never lend money to a friend any amount you are not willing to lose"

[4MyEgo]

25 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

It's more Thai to just say you'd love to lend them the money, but you're broke.

Lol with the house I live in and the car I drive, that wouldn't believe me, but they know I am kinot farang ????

 

[4MyEgo]

30 minutes ago, mr mr said:

pretty sure i let my wife down all the time. i just give her the money i don't even loan it. 

Mine gets a weekly loan allowance as I call it, I expect her to pay it back, still waiting 13 years later.

[473geo]

6 minutes ago, Mavideol said:

my principles throughout life was very simple "" don't lend money to a friend as you will lose both" or my next one was "never lend money to a friend any amount you are not willing to lose"

So what have you moved onto now?

'Better to 'give' money to a friend in need and be pleased if it returns'

[473geo]

32 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

It's more Thai to just say you'd love to lend them the money, but you're broke.

Yep don't have anything much to do with Thai money, I happily let my wife and children handle cash, payments, and purchases, works well, can pull out my empty pockets on cue and state no money but you can ask my wife ????

[mr mr]

12 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Mine gets a weekly loan allowance as I call it, I expect her to pay it back, still waiting 13 years later.

she gives me an allowance too what a coincidence. good news though the house back home is in my name and not hers. 

[Tony s book]

34 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

thats ok here... lots of ladies like girls..

 

but it sounds to me like you don't know her for very long or very well...

 

It sounds like she has decided it is better to not know you then pay you... I get that w/people with AA pedigree... 

 

sorry for your loss, move on.

yes,  and thank you very much:)

[Kelsall]

Best of luck to the OP and consider it a crash course in Thai/Farang relations, much cheaper than a PhD and more valuable.

 

Every now and then we farangs get a reminder of what they really think of us.

[GarryP]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

You seem to have suffered a 33% loss so far, with 66% of your customers not repaying the loans.

You judgement seems to be not so good.

And have you also noticed that it is 100% loss with family as opposed to 100% return with friends? It was my ex-wife's request that I help her sisters, while it was my decision with the friend. BTW none of them were customers. 

Edited June 7, 2020 by GarryP

[1FinickyOne]

42 minutes ago, Kelsall said:

a crash course in Thai/Farang relations, much cheaper than a PhD and more valuable.

 

Every now and then we farangs get a reminder of what they really think of us.

I have had far more farang stiff me than Thai... 

[4MyEgo]

12 hours ago, mr mr said:

she gives me an allowance too what a coincidence. good news though the house back home is in my name and not hers. 

That's music to my ears, unfortunately I had to sell mine otherwise the taxman would have truly bent me over, that said invested the funds in the home country, pay zero tax, investments have paid for my time here for the past 5 years, property market back home is pretty much the same as it was 5 years ago and I have a prenuptial agreement ????

 

Edited June 7, 2020 by 4MyEgo

[smutcakes]

I lent 600K to a farang and so far have seen 400K come back in 3 years, am quiet fully confident i will get the rest back when he has it. To people with not much money i am normally happy to lend them a few baht, loan or donate, if they pay back then great but i will not chase them around for it. Sometimes it comes back, sometimes it does not- either way no point losing sleep over it.

 

Actually one of the worst offenders i know is a high flying businessman in BKK, who has held Chairman positions in listed Thai and Singaporean companies. For years he has been known to send random messages to business colleagues, associates asking for 10K or something with a back story about money stuck in Singapore, needs to pay kids school fees. He is well known for doing it. I have not spoken to him in 2-3 years and out of the blue he messaged me then called me to touch base last week. Low and behold a few days later i got a message asking to borrow some money..... Will never lend anything to people like that.

 

Borrowing money and not paying back is not a nationality thing. It goes across all nationalities, races and wealth.

[mr mr]

i need some advice.

 

my wife just asked me if i could lend some money to her brother. my one question is.

 

she seems awfully close with him. always touchy feely, laughing and generally seeming to really enjoy each others company . is this normal in thailand ? they seem to spend a lot of time together in his room during the day time as well.

 

 

[faraday]

Just now, mr mr said:

i need some advice.

 

my wife just asked me if i could lend some money to her brother. my one question is.

 

she seems awfully close with him. always touchy feely, laughing and generally seeming to really enjoy each others company . is this normal in thailand ? they seem to spend a lot of time together in his room during the day time as well.

 

 

Quite normal mate. If you hear any groaning, don't worry.

[tonray]

19 hours ago, Tony s book said:

just one month I lending her 100 USD

She probably is just upset at the low exchange rate of the dollar to baht.....

[ChakaKhan]

16 hours ago, GarryP said:

One of my father's regular sayings was "If you mix friends and money, you'll end up losing both." 

A wise man..As much as I butted heads with my dad growing up, I now find myself quoting him....

[uhuh]

You can loan money if

- you have collateral (see above) or

- you are extremely close to this person, ie known them for many years. In Thailand usually "close" means family. You know they have the ability to pay back.  Or

- you don't expect the loan to be paid back, it doesn't hurt you

 

Otherwise:

If it's small change for the receiver, Thais will tend to see it as a gift, whereas farang will pay it back diligently. Farang default on big loans,  Asians on small loans. Several years salary - I would probably never loan this to any farang, Thais no problem (but see the rules above)

 

[scubascuba3]

It's difficult declining money requests when they are desperate but in so many cases they just squander the money on family questionable things and Buddha, so I'm able to say no

[Berkshire]

23 hours ago, Tony s book said:

I bought her food,  and gave her a samsung tab for free, helping with fixing her laptop, finding her some job which she did not even go for an interview.  I borrowed her money when she said it was hard to find a job. Maybe because I asked her if she got a plan to repay my money(i actually didn't ask immediately), and she disappeared....

How many Thais have you lent money to?  One, correct?  So with this one experience with this one Thai person, you believe it justifies you starting a thread painting ALL Thais as deadbeats? 

 

What if you lent money to a farang and he/she never pays you back?  Will you start a thread titled "Don't lend money to farang friends?"

[Tarteso]

On 6/7/2020 at 1:05 PM, Tony s book said:

a thai"friend" blocked me from line and phone calls after just one month I lending her 100 USD and 3000thb .  

This is just the value of your “friend”... $100

[Oldie]

Does this story really have to do with Thais? So many broke Farangs asked me already in Pattaya if I can help them. But not 1 Thai.... Sure - I avoid bar ladies and people selling their honesty for whatever shameful action. They are below of what I accept as human beings I would like to interact with. I help people and spend a lot of time and money for thet. Acting like this might be stupid. I never expect any rewards for my donations - and if I am honest I never got any. If you don't believe my story simply Google Bill Gates and his experience with donating. It is for sure not easy for him and his wife. You will have to fight a lot against greedy people to help people that really need your help. And this is not easy and motivating...