The ol: "I wait you darling"...but how long to keep it up?

[pookondee]

We have heard it all before.
It was never really a big deal when trips to and from Thailand were a lot more frequent.

If you are like me, i worked 6 months abroad and made good money, so i didnt mind throwing a bit of chump change her way per month.

Her family are not well off and she would spend our 6 months apart living with family in Isaan (which was very economical living i must admit).

But still, if thinking realistically,

how long to keep it up?
One cant just be throwing cash into a bottomless pit, if this thing goes on for years and years.
 

How long/when to consider the possibility of winding thigs down?
AND how to deal with the inevitable questions that will follow if you stop "helping out"?

 

Obviously Thais will wait forever as long as someones sending money, but if you are not getting anything out of it than why keep it up?

An old typical Thai female way of getting out of "unwanted situations" was to manufacture a huge argument with the farang, and act like a real tฝat until the guy has had enough and walks.

Maybe a few of us would do well to play em at their own game in this regard?

 

Im not rich so i cant be paying no long term pension even if its only chump change.

Edited August 14, 2020 by pookondee

[OneMoreFarang]

4 minutes ago, pookondee said:

Obviously Thais will wait forever as long as someones sending money, but if you are not getting anything out of it than why keep it up?

Why did you ever pay if you didn't get anything out of it?

I guess you got some fun when you saw her repeatedly. And maybe you didn't get the headache which is often involved when you look for alternatives.

And then there are all those "I miss you" messages even if she is far away. I remember letters from long time ago which I received from my darling in Thailand when I was still in a cold country. Those letters definitely made me feel better.

Realistically thinking her English in those letters was a lot better then what I remembered, but still, not thinking too much about it, it made me feel good.

 

So how would you feel if she wouldn't talk to you anymore? Or maybe if she would tell you that now she is forced to go with all those old fat guys because you don't send her money anymore.

Even if that is not true, maybe from time to time you will think: Maybe she really loved me and she never saw other men and now she has to do that. How would you feel?

 

Summary: If you can afford it and it makes you feel good maybe just continue and don't think about it too much.

 

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, pookondee said:

so i didnt mind throwing a bit of chump change her way per month.

Pay them the morning after.

No point in paying for something you're not getting.

[Kwasaki]

Up to you. ????

[pookondee]

13 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Why did you ever pay if you didn't get anything out of it?

I guess you got some fun when you saw her repeatedly. And maybe you didn't get the headache which is often involved when you look for alternatives.

And then there are all those "I miss you" messages even if she is far away. I remember letters from long time ago which I received from my darling in Thailand when I was still in a cold country. Those letters definitely made me feel better.

Realistically thinking her English in those letters was a lot better then what I remembered, but still, not thinking too much about it, it made me feel good.

 

So how would you feel if she wouldn't talk to you anymore? Or maybe if she would tell you that now she is forced to go with all those old fat guys because you don't send her money anymore.

Even if that is not true, maybe from time to time you will think: Maybe she really loved me and she never saw other men and now she has to do that. How would you feel?

 

Summary: If you can afford it and it makes you feel good maybe just continue and don't think about it too much.

 

Very good points. Thanks for that.

I have had the exact thoughts about the messages/video chat, you mentioned.. since im now stuck in Aus.

 

That sort of thing staves off the boredom here and does keep one going, even if just to give some small semblance of hope that things may turn to a form of normality in the future.

 

I think you are definately right in your last paragraphs though.

Of course, same as everyone, its the not knowing that is the bigger PI the A. 

 

Maybe best to revise ones strategy every 3-4 months. 

I guess that all anyone can do throughout all this.

 

 

 

 

[pookondee]

51 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Pay them the morning after.

No point in paying for something you're not getting.

Thats true, but unfortunately a pattern has been set over the past 3-4 years.

 

Another interesting thing:

 it seems nearly all the Thais i know insist that all will be normal again (as far as tourism) well before Christmas this year.

But that is nothing unusual to be hearing "pie in the sky" stuff from them.

 

Theres going to be quite a few in for a rude rude shock, i reckon.

 

[OneMoreFarang]

29 minutes ago, pookondee said:

Very good points. Thanks for that.

I have had the exact thoughts about the messages/video chat, you mentioned.. since im now stuck in Aus.

 

That sort of thing staves off the boredom here and does keep one going, even if just to give some small semblance of hope that things may turn to a form of normality in the future.

 

I think you are definately right in your last paragraphs though.

Of course, same as everyone, its the not knowing that is the bigger PI the A. 

 

Maybe best to revise ones strategy every 3-4 months. 

I guess that all anyone can do throughout all this.

Take it easy. You don't have to decide now how long you will support her.

Maybe in a few months you get bored or maybe you miss her even more. I guess a lot has to do with her and how she makes you happy from far away. Some girls are really good at that.

 

[Pilotman]

Why do some people feel obligated to share this kind of guff? Someone else trying to get advice from entirely the wrong people (TVF members)  on entirely the wrong forum.  OP, grow a pair and make your own mind up.   

[Puchaiyank]

The fact that continuing to pay her while you are abroad bothers you...is reason enough to give it up.

 

Obviously Thais will wait forever as long as someones sending money.

 

Don't count on her being faithful to you while you are away...most likely not...

[Pravda]

Pretty stupid paying a woman in Thailand to pretend she's in a relationship with you. 

 

That being said I love the way you wrote tw$t using Thai script. I've never thought of it and will use it in the future. 

[Oliver Holzerfilled]

Thought for sure this was one of those first time poster stories.  Fooled me.  If TV is hiring you should apply.

[pookondee]

27 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

Why do some people feel obligated to share this kind of guff? Someone else trying to get advice from entirely the wrong people (TVF members)  on entirely the wrong forum.  OP, grow a pair and make your own mind up.   

Wrong forum?

Ive seen people ask gf questions before and they have got thrown back in to pub, probably because of many posts like yours.

 

So if you are in Thailand already and probably busy with a Chang and checking the form at Nana it shouldn't worry you.

 

There would have to be a few guys in the same situation

having Thai gf's and being locked out of the country till cหrist knows when.

[pookondee]

28 minutes ago, Pravda said:

Pretty stupid paying a woman in Thailand to pretend she's in a relationship with you. 

 

That being said I love the way you wrote tw$t using Thai script. I've never thought of it and will use it in the future. 

The past 4 years didnt seem pretend.

Every year, average three months travelling Thailand and 3 months staying in Isaan village.

 

Glad you got some novelty value out of the thread anyway.

BTW You can substitute ห for H, it kind of makes sense.

[rumak]

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

Why do some people feel obligated to share this kind of guff? Someone else trying to get advice from entirely the wrong people (TVF members)  on entirely the wrong forum.  OP, grow a pair and make your own mind up.   

personally i save the "grow a pair"  jibes at the guys who are in sick relationships with manipulative 

women...... and won't get the h*ll out .    

otherwise,  mai pen rai.    why be so abusive when we are all just passing the time .  I do take offense

at the suggestion that I may not be the right person to ask   ????     And a few others here are

pretty good sources of info and opinions as well.

generally i would like to see a photo to know if someone is worth sending money to ..............

Edited August 14, 2020 by rumak

[OneMoreFarang]

55 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

Why do some people feel obligated to share this kind of guff? Someone else trying to get advice from entirely the wrong people (TVF members)  on entirely the wrong forum.  OP, grow a pair and make your own mind up.   

And then there are others who talk about god for months and others who start the hundreds thread about visas and 90days, and and and.

The wonderful thing with this internet thing is that we can all chose what we want to read, where we want to participate and what we ignore. Cheers. 

[twocatsmac]

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

Why do some people feel obligated to share this kind of guff? Someone else trying to get advice from entirely the wrong people (TVF members)  on entirely the wrong forum.  OP, grow a pair and make your own mind up.   

As I write this you (Pilotman) are the first follower of this thread. 

 

Can the op tell us how much is “chump change” in this instance and I agree many now face the same issue.

How about the family, are you the sole provider?

 

 

Edited August 14, 2020 by twocatsmac

[Pilotman]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And then there are others who talk about god for months and others who start the hundreds thread about visas and 90days, and and and.

The wonderful thing with this internet thing is that we can all chose what we want to read, where we want to participate and what we ignore. Cheers. 

indeed so, so if we read something that gets on our nerves, it's our own fault;  that sounds about right to me . 

[bwpage3]

30 minutes ago, pookondee said:

Wrong forum?

Ive seen people ask gf questions before and they have got thrown back in to pub, probably because of many posts like yours.

 

So if you are in Thailand already and probably busy with a Chang and checking the form at Nana it shouldn't worry you.

 

There would have to be a few guys in the same situation

having Thai gf's and being locked out of the country till cหrist knows when.

Your locked out of Thailand with many others who are locked out from the WIVES and CHILDREN.

 

Everyone is having to make do, no matter how painful it is.

 

Can't tell if the lockout is the reason or you feel guilty about the money?

 

You have been together long enough the money shouldn't be an issue.

 

You either want to be with her or you don't?

 

If your money is more important than her, then end it.

 

You have been to Isaan, you see how poor people are, they don't have many opportunities to make money.

 

Sometimes in life, life gives you lemons.

 

Instead of being sour, make lemonade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[bkk6060]

I have met some girls on the dating sites who claim their sugar daddy told them he might not be coming back for a long time, so he stopped sending money.  One girl told me she had 4 sponsors and now only two.

So, some guys are getting it I guess.

I have heard several of these the ones that are a bit "could be true I guess" are the reports from girls who one day call the guy in his home country and his alleged sister, brother, or some other person answers.  The girl asks to speak with their guy and they are told he died in a car accident, from cancer, brain hemorrhage, whatever reason they explain. If true God rest their sole but if not, seems pretty weak but an easy way out I guess.  A little risky though good luck if he plans to come back and happens to run into her.

[sammieuk1]

The OP sounds like a real keeper ????

[Bangkokazy]

Why send money to someone you know is basically fooling you. Thai ladies know all the tricks to milking you empty.
You are the gateway to the white world.
Thai girls give a <deleted> about you. You are the first step to a better life.

[pookondee]

2 hours ago, twocatsmac said:

As I write this you (Pilotman) are the first follower of this thread. 

 

Can the op tell us how much is “chump change” in this instance and I agree many now face the same issue.

How about the family, are you the sole provider?

 

 

I was trying to avoid mentioning a figure or that would likely start a piรรing match we all see on here.

What i will say is: from what i read here in past, guys seem to accept that 10k per month is a norm.

maybe some even above that.

 

In this case it wasnt even asked for.

She has 1 kid, who, at the time, was having a birthday and there was "back to school" stuff also being bought.

So i sent it as a "one off", but seeing how it was chump change to me, i kept the habit going.

I will say, it was below the figure i mentioned above though.

So i will be ready for all the cheap Charlie comments now. 

555

[pookondee]

2 hours ago, twocatsmac said:

How about the family, are you the sole provider?

 

 

No.

I never thought of myself as a provider for everyone.

Admittedly, the amount isnt big enough for that.

But they have quite a large productive farm, I guess its been handed down from the elders who have passed,

and they all work and share things around.

 

She has told me that the government does help them out in small ways, with one-off payments, cheap utilities and subsities for schooling and stuff like that.

 

The Thai women the other poster talks about  (the ones who he says "game" you)

they will NEVER tell you about that stuff..

 

That seems to be Thai gf 101-

just cry poor all the time,never dare mention any $ help they do get, since many will prefer you thinkin they are dead broke so you send em more.

But there is at least a little honesty in this regard.

 

 

[pookondee]

2 hours ago, Bangkokazy said:

Why send money to someone you know is basically fooling you. Thai ladies know all the tricks to milking you empty.
You are the gateway to the white world.
Thai girls give a <deleted> about you. You are the first step to a better life.

As a rule, i do agree with that theory and ive actually said the same kind of words myself.

so i am wary of that, which is why i aint one of those tool-heads sending 20,000 baht per month or more.

 

In my case i had been earning good (pre Covid anyway) and id say the amounts i sent werent even 5% of my monthly take.

 

But things are changing with the financials tho, which is why i ask the question.

 

As i said, one cant just keep throwing money in a bottomless pit if this is Corona BS is gonna be going on for years without any chance of getting into Thailand and of course the chances go up that your so called "tee-rack" will be out looking for other company.

 

Anyway, even when it only be chump change, it still adds up over time.

Edited August 14, 2020 by pookondee

[twocatsmac]

It doesn’t appear you trust your lady enough for a long term absence.

Only you know this for sure and if money is becoming an issue for you, why not half her “allowance” citing your changing circumstances work wise.

[Ron jeremy]

Her and her family got along just fine before you arrived, and will survive after you leave. Perhaps they can get a job? You shouldn't have to pay a lady to be your girlfriend.how long will she hang aroun? Until you stop paying her or until the next mug pays her more than u!

[pookondee]

3 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Your locked out of Thailand with many others who are locked out from the WIVES and CHILDREN.

 

Everyone is having to make do, no matter how painful it is.

 

Can't tell if the lockout is the reason or you feel guilty about the money?

 

You have been together long enough the money shouldn't be an issue.

 

You either want to be with her or you don't?

 

If your money is more important than her, then end it.

 

You have been to Isaan, you see how poor people are, they don't have many opportunities to make money.

 

Sometimes in life, life gives you lemons.

 

Instead of being sour, make lemonade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That is a fair and logical assessment.

 

Yes, ive seen how things were in Isaan even before Covid.

I cant reply with anything else here except to agree, so thanks for the input.

 

[kingofthemountain]

47 minutes ago, pookondee said:

As i said, one cant just keep throwing money in a bottomless pit

I am not sure your loved thai girl friend should be bery happy to

know she is considered like a ''bottomless pit''

the love relationships are sometimes really wonderful

 

the only question imo is what sort of relation are you in?

 

1\ if it's honey (From her) VS money (From you)

it's a classic here and as long as you are happy with that and your

finance are ok you could continue if you are happy with that

 

2\ if it is honey VS honey, with no money involved

well you can ponctualy send some help, like you did for

the start of the school, but you don't have to pay to her a monthly salary.

I mean she is too old for work? or disabled? 

You write yourself her family have a big farm, so they can manage to

live like they probably did before you come in the picture.

 

The only fact you question yourself about to continue or not

is because probably you know yourself already the answer

if you stop the money flux, you lose her

not a very strong fundation to start a very longterm relationship

but hey most of the ''couples'' here are ''working'' in this way

the most important is to know what you are doing, and not to be in the deny.

 

on an anecdotical side i have writed a lot of messages to help the girls

if the messages from her are in a better english than usual, well it's maybe

a ''friend'' already helping her, thai girls don't like to stay longtime alone

Edited August 14, 2020 by kingofthemountain

[misterjames]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Pay them the morning after.

No point in paying for something you're not getting.

As much as I used to arrogantly look at posts like this when I was younger and think thoughts of I'm different and I don't pay her directly, I'm young and these guys on thaivisa are all bitter old men that can't get laid without cash.

 

I've come to realise over time that people like @BritManToo are the ones talking the truth all the guys that disagree with his comments are probably being milked are in denial and just don't get that all Thai women exhibit many narcissistic traits that will drive you mad as you suffer financially and emotionally . 

 

Now you can take our word for it wake up to what's happening to you and treat her accord to what she is..  or waste your time and money and wake up in 10 years with an empty wallet and less options.

 

Upto you hansum ???? 

 

 

[pookondee]

3 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

I have met some girls on the dating sites who claim their sugar daddy told them he might not be coming back for a long time, so he stopped sending money.  One girl told me she had 4 sponsors and now only two.

So, some guys are getting it I guess.

I have heard several of these the ones that are a bit "could be true I guess" are the reports from girls who one day call the guy in his home country and his alleged sister, brother, or some other person answers.  The girl asks to speak with their guy and they are told he died in a car accident, from cancer, brain hemorrhage, whatever reason they explain. If true God rest their sole but if not, seems pretty weak but an easy way out I guess.  A little risky though good luck if he plans to come back and happens to run into her.

About the girl calling the guys country:

It sounds more like a bargirl thing,

so maybe its a case of Kharma finally kicking in.

 

When it comes to foreign boyfriends, a lot of these girls have been telling and living the most horrible of lies for years and getting away with it.

 

Brothers who are actually husbands and sleeping in the spare room of house you bought, a prime example.

( thats if you believe that sort of thing ever really happened)

 

It might sound callous to some, but its only logical to me.

a few guys have learnt from the worst and devious of female liars,

so its only natural the BG types are gonna get a bit of their own medicine back at some stage.