4.

 

I melted into my indentation. Then I farted, a particularly loud, noxious fart, and stretched my arms and experienced another jarring body tremor.    

 

I worried, worried about the shaking. Shaking is not normal. Was it a stroke? What if… What if it was… ? I might have... How would I know? Who would know? Phones don’t have body-screening apps! I could die right this second.

Anodyne thoughts! Anodyne thoughts! Be that water monitor lizard, I commanded myself. Have a lizard’s skin, integument. A lizard should be stoic.

 

But then another thought terror seized me. What if I grew to 100-feet-tall, and were just walking around as a giant, but not hurting anyone, just yelling, “Hey, I don’t know what’s going on here, I don’t know why I’m a giant! I come in peace!” while the army, crazy people are shooting at me, trying to slay me, treating me like Godzilla. That’s what I felt like, lying there in bed. I was an accidental giant.

 

I breathed deeply; my chest heaved and fell. Anodyne thoughts! I attempted to ponder the fresh and uplifting, like the documentaries my friend recommended about Yo! MTV Raps! And another about Death Row Records.

 

But… my mind kept churning… And I suddenly panicked. What if… I… What if I have AIDS? I’d had unprotected sexual intercourse with a trashy chick from a bar, only a couple months ago. But I read AIDS is easier to catch through anal, and I don’t remember doing anal with her. But just because I don’t remember it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It was dark, and my aim might have been off. I do remember she was surprisingly tight.

 

<deleted>! What if I have AIDS!?

 

Then I thought of the people I’d heard about, in Cuba, artists and street performers who were injecting themselves with needles filled with AIDS blood, in a quest to catch AIDS. “Bug Chasers,” or something like that, was their appellation.

 

There was also a guitarist from an old heavy metal band I like, Ratt, who died of AIDS. Do rats die of AIDS? I should play Ratt at an ear-piercing volume, blast it at the rats in the abandoned Chinese building. Why do I hate the rats, anyway? They spread diseases, though, right? The bubonic plague? Maybe COVIT and AIDS both came from rats…

 

The rapper Eazy-E died of AIDS.

 

Eazy-E died from Suge Knight stabbing him with an AIDS needle, though, right? I think someone told me that. Or maybe Suge Knight shot Eazy-E with a poison dart, a poison dart full of AIDS. I could see Suge Knight, as a ninja, hiding atop a fir tree, blasting AIDS darts at Eazy-E.

 

And what the <deleted>? How come the Ratt guitarist and the boxer Tommy Morrison and Eazy-E all died of AIDS and Magic Johnson is still alive? It doesn’t quite make sense. I guess because Magic wasn’t involved with Suge Knight. That must be it. I don’t know if Suge killed the Ratt guitarist or the boxer, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Suge Knight probably killed a long list of people. More than Sammy “The Bull”, I bet…  

I really hope that 4 was the last.

 

Invented a whole new skill of "speed skimming".

I can relate to the first paragraph, but that's about it.

Got to be a student's first attempt at getting a bot to write a short story?

1 hour ago, kimcancer said:

Suge Knight probably killed a long list of people. More than Sammy “The Bull”, I bet…  

I'm beginning to miss Brexit. 

Troll topic

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