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How many of you that had bad marriages to Thai women would try again but do things differently if you had a time machine?


thaibeachlovers

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I'd probably have traded her in for a younger model rather than marry her. 

 

I'd probably have married a higher society broad. Better chance of getting one raised and taught right.

 

I'd probably have stayed in civilization (Bangkok) rather than moving to a lower socio-economic area (Isaan). They have too many problems in those areas and their problems become yours.

 

I'd have stayed single for at least a decade of coming to Thailand before settling with anyone.

 

I'd have learned that some birds are not marriage or mother material. Some are just for a swing and that's it. Asians know this. We have to learn the hard way.

 

Fortunately though, I climbed out of that mess. It was a great learning opportunity. Unfortunately, I lost all my hair and sanity in the process.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

So I committed the cardinal sin among the ANF, moving out to the village, and in with the in-laws. As many have said you should probably avoid this, unless you follow these guidelines as I have:

 

1) Be working. Don't be fully retired. Have something to occupy your time so you don't go bored and crazy. Show the fam that you're working hard and that this is where the money comes from, and you're not just magically pulling it from your farang behind. I've known retired folks managing to live with the in-laws, tho this does seem to make it more difficult.

 

2) Spend several years living with the wife, away from the in-laws. I'm a teacher and have moved about to schools in different provinces and BKK, before finally settling in the Issan moo ban. Throughout this period you get to gauge the wife. Does she stick by you? Is she supportive, or does she complain? Does she get some part time work, or at least cook and clean around the house? Her reluctance to do so are big red flags. I've seen the farangs having trouble at immigration or the bank, while the missus just sits playing on the phone. Note this difficulty goes up the greater an age gap there is. My wife and I are the same age.

 

3) During this time living with the wife, you will go visit the in-laws on holidays, most likely Songkran and the New Year. At these times you can do some recon on them. How's the fam situation? Any crazy folks dropping by? Possible exes, debtors, fam with their hands out? Kids with bad attitudes or drug problems? Is your missus well liked in the village? Does everyone know and talk to her when you're about? This should let you decide if you want to live there or not.

 

4) Finally, how are her folks to you? Do they seem happy to see you? Are they polite? Do they try speaking to you? Are they glad to see your effort in learning and practicing Thai with them? If not, big red flag. Some would rather have you know no Thai at all, so that they can rob you blind.

 

If you decide to do it, living with the fam has several advantages such as no longer paying condo rent, which you can then invest in the fam, fixing up their house, doing projects, or financing a vehicle, which they should accept in lieu of an actual rent payment. Your wife will also be happier being with the fam and childhood friends, who you'll find can also be of help to you. Need any work done, govt paperwork straightened out, local events or activities you should be aware of, like getting vaccinated? Someone will steer you in the right direction, a lot better than asking the lady at the noodle shop, as you likely did previously.

Edited by CrunchWrapSupreme
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We have been together 12 years and married ten.

 

See you share common interests.

 

Live together a minimum of two years.

 

Check her spending habits.

 

Highly recommend you don't find your wife in a pub regardless of whether she's working there or not. Nothing to do with Thai women per-se.

 

I really only got married to make an honest woman out of her. So many sketchy relationships between races here. We can both hold our heads a bit higher and say we are legally married.

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  • 3 months later...
On 10/1/2021 at 7:23 PM, spidermike007 said:

 

The trick is, being prepared, saying no, and pushing back. Some guys can, and many guys can't. Time is a man's ally. Not theirs. 

"If you love me, you will buy me a house so that I will be ok after you are gone." Seen this a time or two with buddies.

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9 hours ago, YITB1980 said:

"If you love me, you will buy me a house so that I will be ok after you are gone." Seen this a time or two with buddies.

You forgot the Gold,  the Mercedes and a pension that your wife can receive when your gone. 

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1 hour ago, Kwasaki said:

You forgot the Gold,  the Mercedes and a pension that your wife can receive when your gone. 

I told my ex:

 

I have a nice health insurance, if you are a good girl, I will change it to your name as the beneficiary.

First question:

How much?

 

Me: Too much, goodbye.

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11 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

I told my ex:

 

I have a nice health insurance, if you are a good girl, I will change it to your name as the beneficiary.

First question:

How much?

 

Me: Too much, goodbye.

I don't think health insurance would matter much to a Thai lady unless it had a big pay out on your death. 

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16 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

I don't know who that is in the mirror. ????

On a serious note 19years on and all good still. 

Together 16 yrs, living together, married for 8 of.

 

Oh c r a p ... sound like positive Thai stories ... don't tell anyone  ????

Edited by KhunLA
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