Have you made as many male friends as you thought you would?

[pgrahmm]

No, I have a few "friends" scattered about....Less than 5....Never have been a pub/club goer..... That's a pretty artificial crowd....

I actually have a good network of long term friends built up through years of friendly, but serious sports competition across the US that we visit when there....

I have a good wife and family....We just enjoy our little corner of the world in a quiet MuBan that's full of people with quick smiles & a wave.... There's 3 farang including myself, I chat with one occasionally & have never bumped into the other one......

I didn't move here with expectations of seeking out a social circle/posse of guys....

 

[Mac Mickmanus]

10 hours ago, Maha Sarakham said:

Chiang Mai still hanging on?  Last I heard it was pretty quiet.

They have got some H.P Brown sauce and some Tyhoo tea bags and wine coolers in the mom and pop shop , three for 100 Baht  and I have a younger woman in my bed every night , not always the same one though 

[steven100]

could use another 10 or so more .....   age 20-25 ...  Lol

1 hour ago, vandeventer said:

Most of my friends have also died and the rest have a hard time with English. We need some new retirees in my area, it's sad getting older.

I can understand your thoughts.  I am always thinking about my dead relatives, they are all gone and i didn't say hello or goodbye. 

[NoshowJones]

I made many farang friends when I first came to live in Thailand, we had regular get togethers, and also went on trips together.

They have all either moved away, went back to their home country

or died.

I am the only one left in my village now.

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

I made many farang friends when I first came to live in Thailand, we had regular get togethers, and also went on trips together.

They have all either moved away, went back to their home country

or died.

I am the only one left in my village now.

Everyone is fresh, sharing experiences, got energy and still curious, but daily life sneak up on each of us.

 

The best skill you can have in Thailand if you do not frequently visits bars, is to entertain yourself and keep yourself busy with interests and hobbies as well good daily routines. 

 

If you thinking of settling in a village, also have the budget and also energy to travel often, just to get out and get some air.

 

Still friends or friendship is different today than 20 years back thinking of video calls and social media. 

[NoshowJones]

5 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Like most comments I've read, didn't come here for friends. 

If you've come to Thailand looking for friends, take care. 

Lots of Dodgy guys, crypto is a big thing for these guys. 

I keep to myself, have a big family here that keep me happy. I go to the gym regularly, sometimes I have a chat with the newbies, most of them I just give a nod hello and that's it. 

The guys I met when I first came here were mostly good guys and a pleasure to meet up with, though there was an unpleasant drunk and druggie, one died and the other moved away.

 

[ChrisKC]

I didn't think about it before I came to Thailand, I didn't think about it when I arrived and I haven't thought about it for the last 19 years since I have been here. 

In all that time a few friends I have had, like me, have moved on. 

 

Currently, I know many Thai and farang males from which I would number four as my friends and I know for sure, they would consider me likewise. 

[NoshowJones]

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Everyone is fresh, sharing experiences, got energy and still curious, but daily life sneak up on each of us.

 

The best skill you can have in Thailand if you do not frequently visits bars, is to entertain yourself and keep yourself busy with interests and hobbies as well good daily routines. 

 

If you thinking of settling in a village, also have the budget and also energy to travel often, just to get out and get some air.

 

Still friends or friendship is different today than 20 years back thinking of video calls and social media. 

Yes I'm confined to the house mostly now. Not doing long motorbike road trips because of the pandemic. I ride to the nearest city once a week just for the change.

[VocalNeal]

13 hours ago, Grecian said:

If you care to answer could you also briefly explain your situation? 

Retired in Chiang rai is obviously very different than young working in Bangkok.

Retired you have more time to bump into and make friends. Working takes up a lot of time. 

Usually it is hobbies or pastimes that help.

 

Up North or BKK is the same.

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

Retired you have more time to bump into and make friends. Working takes up a lot of time. 

Usually it is hobbies or pastimes that help.

 

Up North or BKK is the same.

If you do not drink, bicycle, play pool or golf, then it is quite few other arenas where you normally meet people in Thailand.

 

So far not made one friend outside the gym, but when I was diving, climbing and kayaking when younger easy to make friends with foreigners and locals when living months at the same beach. Meet the same places for dinner, climbing spots and also same boat for diving. 

 

The few expats in my area, I'm so far away in mentality to life itself, political, opinions as life experience. Of course everyone much older than me, and not so easy to call up for going somewhere to do something on impulse. Easy to hook up for a beer or 6, that's not the problem ????

[SAFETY FIRST]

23 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

5 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Like most comments I've read, didn't come here for friends. 

If you've come to Thailand looking for friends, take care. 

Lots of Dodgy guys, crypto is a big thing for these guys. 

I keep to myself, have a big family here that keep me happy. I go to the gym regularly, sometimes I have a chat with the newbies, most of them I just give a nod hello and that's it. 

The guys I met when I first came here were mostly good guys and a pleasure to meet up with, though there was an unpleasant drunk and druggie, one died and the other moved away.

I agree, when I first moved into my house 2001, I met some great guys, very good friends...... 2 English guys who have moved back homeland, around 8 years ago, over the years I met a lot of offshore workers who no longer live in Thailand.

 

Things have changed, I'm still in the same house, the housing estate are mostly rentals these days, I get to meet some nice guys where I live  but I don't get too close, they come and go and with my kids getting older they keep me busy.

 

As I said earlier, lots of crypto guys, I meet some guys who have some strange stories, one guy told me that he has a friend (acquaintance) living in the Philippines who owes him 10 Bitcoins ????. 

I keep my distance. I'm very lucky to have my family and some close friends here in Thailand, all my close friends, family.... nieces, sister/husband etc in Australia all come to Thailand to visit. 
 

[VocalNeal]

39 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

I am the only one left in my village now.

????

Edited February 5, 2022 by VocalNeal

[digger70]

Retired ,Yes I made the expected number of Male Friends that I was thinking of making in all the years that I've been here ZERO

[Thingamabob]

Retired Brit, living in Bangkok and Rayong for 40 years. Had two good pals here, one Aussie, one American, both dead. No wish to befriend anyone else.

[VocalNeal]

13 hours ago, BritManToo said:

when I came to Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai Hash House Harriers?

[ChrisKC]

52 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

Chiang Mai Hash House Harriers?

Are those the ones with the slogan...?

 

"A Drinking Club with a Running Problem"

[Tropposurfer]

I didn't come here with any pre-conceived expectations of making male friends as your tag line suggests. As an older and comfortably self-sufficient man take or leave folks in the flow of things.

I know it may be shallow and instructive as to my insecure attachment as a child but since I have money now (provides both a degree of control and temporal security) I am much easier to form friendships.

Maybe it's not that but something to do with my older age. I certainly am less angst ridden, and do far les head-miles if I leave some people be if something they're exhibiting vibrates uncomfortably with me. I try to remember ... I'm not so significant that another MUST have contact with me in order to have added richness in their lives lol ????

I kinda slotted into the sabai sabai thing of tropical retirement without too much angst and for the most part take folks as they come. 

The key thing for me is I don't have to accept stuff that cross my principles e.g. racists, fascists, misogynists, crim's.

Have a few sailing mates (their boats), made a new and developing slightly younger Pom friend when looking at his home as I searched for a home for us back in 2020. We play golf together and discuss life and the meaning of it when he's here (homes in England and here).

A few golf buddies. Some closer than others but all pretty relaxed gentle humorous fellas, friendly with only mildly neurotic natures haha ????

 

 

[brianthainess]

I'm not a Man's man, I more of a lady's man. The male friends i made here donkeys years ago, have either died or most turned out to be takers one way or other. 

[Cat Boy]

16 hours ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

Do ladyboys count???...

They count double 

[BTB1977]

If you didn't have many friends in your home country,  don't expect being popular here. Travel 1,000 of kilometers from home doesn't change your personality.  

[TropicalGuy]

9 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Like most comments I've read, didn't come here for friends. 

If you've come to Thailand looking for friends, take care. 

Lots of Dodgy guys, crypto is a big thing for these guys. 

I keep to myself, have a big family here that keep me happy. I go to the gym regularly, sometimes I have a chat with the newbies, most of them I just give a nod hello and that's it. 

Thailand has always had the best “friends” money can buy ????????

[zzaa09]

18 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Didnt come here to make friends and had no expectations of it either.

Happy living away from others in a quiet backwater far from the madding crowd (tourist areas).

Keep myself to myself and quite happy if others do likewise. ????

 

That might be the more intelligent path. 

Most are unworthy to be bothered with. 

[VocalNeal]

4 hours ago, ChrisKC said:

Are those the ones with the slogan...?

 

"A Drinking Club with a Running Problem"

Yes. But you don't need to run.

[VocalNeal]

3 hours ago, brianthainess said:

I'm not a Man's man, I more of a lady's man.

Anyone with 1500 baht in their pocket can be a lady's man. 

[Pravda]

I'm a good friend with my wife's brother 

[starky]

Quite a bizarre OP tbh. I can't think of anyone that came to Thailand specifically in search of male friends.

 I am sure that people that work or have businesses here have had relationships that developed into friendship over time and those in the barfly areas have "mates" who have similar interests and probably some of those have developed into friendships. I gotta a couple people here I have met over the years that o would have dinner with but they are hardly friends in my definition of the word. 

   The one I love. When I moved out of Bangkok was some would get dirty or think there is some obligation for me to smile or acknowledge every single white person I see like we have something in common because we share a skin colour in a foreign land. I actually pretty much run when I hear someone talking English here for as others have said I have neither the time nor the inclination to interact with people I barely know. There are quite a few genuine people here and I can't comment on expat communities in other countries but here the duds would outweigh those worth knowing by a huge margin

[SAFETY FIRST]

2 minutes ago, starky said:

Quite a bizarre OP tbh. I can't think of anyone that came to Thailand specifically in search of male friends

Agree,

 

Anyway the world is changing, people are different these days,

I struggle to keep up. 

 

Sometimes I get myself in trouble for saying things, chatting about things that in the past me and my mates would talk about, but these days I've got to give a lot of thought to what I say otherwise I'm looked at like I'm some weirdo. 

 

I don't mean to offend, I'm really a nice guy it's just I need to readjust. 

 

Sorry if I've offended anyone out there. ????

[Paulaew]

Like most of the hetero men in this forum, I didn't come to Thailand to find male friends. I'm waiting for the topic "Have you made as many female friends as you thought you would?" (I hope everyone's answer will be "exceeded my expectations.")

 

As I inventory my male friends in Thailand, I have exactly two: one to discuss baseball, and one to talk about the stock market. But these are real friends -- guys I would always help out if they were in a jam and guys who would help me if I got in trouble with the law or ended up in the hospital.

 

It's good to have at least a few male friends, even if your mind is usually on the female friends.

 

Paul Laew

Edited February 5, 2022 by Paulaew

[coastguard]

FWIW. I've always found older people that retire somewhere new (like Thailand or Hawaii, or Florida, etc.) are open to friendship. That said., I have two great friends here, meet outside the bar, at ex-pats club meeting. But, I agree it is hard to make friends, more, just acquaintances. When you are old it is impossible to make old friends. Accept that. But, it is really important to connect with someone, anyone, life is short. Depending on just the wife/girlfriend is easy, but not the best idea. We are all different in out need for friends. I, for one, have found closer friends here that I did back home. Back home, it was mostly women/lovers. I think it is easier to make mates here. My best friend in the US was a woman, not a lover, here it is a man. Ah, we are all different.

[ballpoint]

I'm quite happy with my own company, but apart from my number one best friend, who is female and my wife of 30 years, I do have 3 very good male friends here - the sort who would go, and have gone, out of their way to help me out when I needed it, and I would do the same for them.  One is Thai, which may surprise people, the other two are Westerners.  I've been working here since I was 20 and met them all at work in my early days here, going out for wild nights in Bangkok's very lively indie music scene back in the 90s, watching girlfriends become wives, staying at each others houses regularly when we moved apart, and now, almost 35 years later, still close.  Other good friends from those days have moved on. Some I keep in touch with through email, others I've totally lost contact with.  However, in my older years, and since I retired, I haven't really made any new friends.  The expat bar scene really isn't for me, and I'm not one for striking up a conversation down the local Robinson.  If I had have come here later in life I could see myself having no close friends in Thailand, which probably wouldn't worry me too much.

 

 

Edited February 5, 2022 by ballpoint