Take care of me

[GinBoy2]

It's somewhat cultural.

 

My wife was orphaned at 12 and went to live with her aunt and uncle in Chicago.

 

Her remaining  siblings were farmed out to various family members in Thailand.

 

She made a successful life in the US, moved back to Asia, then ultimately we are back in the US

 

So 40 years later, and a few countries later, she still feels a commitment to, 'take care' of her siblings and aunt.

 

Every month she sends a portion of her paycheck back to Thailand.

 

I can say I understand it. I'm now a third generation US hispanic, and while not sending the monthly allowance I still help family in Mexico whenever I'm needed to

[jerrymahoney]

5 hours ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

Kenny+Me+RafPinto+ sangsom set= good stories......  ????

Held at Mad Dog aka Grumpy Grandpa bar

While already working in the region, I have regularly visited Thailand since over 30 years ago and have now lived in Thailand full-time almost 20 years but I have not had the prolific sex life that some on here have had -- or at least claim to have had.

[Sparktrader]

9 hours ago, The Hammer2021 said:

You are not necessarily  taking on an Issan Princess but taking on a sensible, level headed girl who does not want to be lumbered with a drunk, dead beat farang. The ability to support your wife  reflects many aspects  of a man's character including education, career, character  etc. So many farang here are bottom  feeding rubbish but the girls don't realise it and I know a few girls who made terrible  marriages to useless farang. Both parties have to decide what they want and neither should enter a relationship  based on false assumptions.

Bit harsh

Luck plays a big role in life

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

While already working in the region, I have regularly visited Thailand since over 30 years ago and have now lived in Thailand full-time almost 20 years but I have not had the prolific sex life that some on here have had -- or at least claim to have had.

Sex drive varies a lot between different guys.

I knew a young guy from Oz that was more than happy with once a month.

When I arrived in 2009 it was so cheap you might as well take a different one home every night.

[BritManToo]

10 hours ago, The Hammer2021 said:

They still know what furniture  is though. They still like to go shopping. Some of your comments are far fetched  to put it politely or you are meeting  really  weird,  exceptionally weird Thais the like of which I've never met in 30 years nor actually heard of. 

My one lived in a village 15Km from the nearest 7-11/ATM (Lomsak) along unmade roads.

The corrugated iron hut on stilts was open to the jungle, no closing windows or doors, just open spaces.

All they had inside was a mattress on the floor, an old electric fan and small tube TV.

No running water on the property, a shared village toilet block with bucket, hole in the ground, and a hose from another house. All the other villagers lived the same way from what I could see. The local school had no electricity.

 

Same today, apart from water, the house now has it's own pump and hose that I provided.

[jerrymahoney]

38 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Sex drive varies a lot between different guys.

I knew a young guy from Oz that was more than happy with once a month.

When I arrived in 2009 it was so cheap you might as well take a different one home every night.

I arrived 20 years earlier at least for regular visits while already inthen say hasta la vista, baby.ave is what the usual suspects and others claim to have had.

 

Also, as I working during those early years, I thought it the better discretion not to take 'a different one home every evening' and was happy in Thailand with the 90-minute encounters and then saying hasta la vista, baby.

[BritManToo]

Just now, jerrymahoney said:

I arrived 20 years earlier at least for regular visits while already in the region. Like I said, the nature of the beast is that on here all we have is what the usual suspects and others claim to have had.

I don't see why I should doubt anyone's claims to multiple sexual partners in Asia.

It's available everywhere you go, except China, I couldn't find anything there, not even the bus or train station without asking a policeman.

[jerrymahoney]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I don't see why I should doubt anyone's claims to multiple sexual partners in Asia.

It's available everywhere you go, except China, I couldn't find anything there, not even the bus or train station without asking a policeman.

You would say that.

 

Some people have had lots of sex in Thailand

 

Some people have had lots of sex in Thailand and then enjoy writing about having lots of sex in Thailand.

 

And then there are maybe some people, whether or not they have had lots of sex in Thailand, enjoy writing about having lots of sex in Thailand.

[BritManToo]

21 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

Yeah I am exactly the same now. Would never thought I would have been like this back home. But things are definitely different here. Trust your own instincts and check everything, watch your back. You would be considered a fool, even by the Thais if you don't

Wish I'd trusted my Brit wife a bit less ........ that trust cost me 660,000GBP.

[RafPinto]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

My one lived in a village 15Km from the nearest 7-11/ATM (Lomsak) along unmade roads.

The corrugated iron hut on stilts was open to the jungle, no closing windows or doors, just open spaces.

All they had inside was a mattress on the floor, an old electric fan and small tube TV.

No running water on the property, a shared village toilet block with bucket, hole in the ground, and a hose from another house. All the other villagers lived the same way from what I could see. The local school had no electricity.

 

Same today, apart from water, the house now has it's own pump and hose that I provided.

Oh dear.
I couldn't live there 1 day.
What poor conditions.

[spidermike007]

16 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

Well OK but, if she is an all around hot number, if you take  too much time, maybe she'll just find someone else.

That is true. But, we owe it to ourselves to be sure she is not a scammer, and not a former short time gal, who was plying the trade for years, been with thousands, and is permanently damaged psychologically, as a result of all that. It takes a bit of time to understand who she is, how emotionally developed she is (or stunted), where she came from, where she has been, and what she is made of. 

 

If she is not patient enough and walks, so be it. Better to have lost one, than to have succumbed to the awful fate of many. 

[RocketDog]

On 5/4/2022 at 4:05 PM, RocketDog said:

I hear you loud and clear Kinnock.

I suspect many of the cynical responses thus far are from emotionally wounded men.

No doubt many Thai women are guilty as charged, but certainly not all.

Generally the lucky ones of us that find good matches don't join these pity parties. When we do we are mocked as being naive.

The truth is that many western men are quite happy with the matches they made in the Kingdom. I am one, just for the record.

If any readers of this post are of those happy forum members then a click an appropriate emoji will show if you and I are truly really unique.

Let's see what happens.

I guess to be fair I could also do a post asking for negative experiences with Thai women taken as partners. But I'm not so much interested.

So far though my post shows at least a dozen of us are happy.

[spidermike007]

15 hours ago, Sparktrader said:

Really? I think after 1 month you have all the info you need.

For me, if I am going to get serious with a woman, one to three years minimum, is what I need to get to know her. If you are just talking about a GF, and you are not lending much financial support, that is different. 

[Walker88]

On 5/4/2022 at 6:02 AM, Kenny202 said:

It means they want you to give them millions of baht and gold firstly...then take care of them, their kids and their extended family in everyway including past debts, credit cards, gambling loans and any perceivable problem that will arise in the future. You will be expected to provide a mansion of a house and 2 vehicles, in her name.... befitting an Isaan village Princess (even though her previous  accommodation was a single dirty cold water room with a fan and mattress on the floor). You should also factor in a 20-30k per month allowance (pocket money to be p$$ed up the wall) and fanned out for Facebook selfies. She will not be prepared to perform even the most basic of household chores, probably wont know how to cook and for the most part be grumpy and irritable and treat you like an inconvenient annoyance. Oh milk teas will need to be regularly provided during the seldom occurrence of her not being asleep. Just to humor yourself....ask her what she will be bringing to the relationship? I bet she has a gormless open mouthed stare as if she never even considered that question and then says something like "I live with you everyday"....lucky you! 5555

I think you nailed a very high percentage of female Thailand. So many feel they did the 'hard work' of making themselves attractive to you, so the rest is your responsibility.

 

I see there are some posters here who claim their woman is not like that. It may be true, and if so, congrats. I have an employee---Thai female, 25 years old---who absolutely insists on making a success of herself. She's smart, creative, hard-working, and ambitious. She is also quite attractive and has many men trying to hit on her. She also happens to have a foreign fiance whom she hasn't seen in several years (Covid) and has been 100% loyal to him as far as I know.

 

In my experience---yours may differ---this employee is a unicorn. Of all the male foreigner friends and acquaintances I have in Thailand, every single one of them is either currently in, or was previously in, relationships that fit your profile exactly. Virtual word for word similarity. Every single one of them. Some of these guys fit the caricature of the chubby, old, bald, moderate means farang walking ATMs, but others are well-kept, successful, would have no trouble attracting women back home, and the ages of my friends and acquaintances vary from late 20s to 70s. They all still had the Walking ATM part in the relationships. For a few, what they got (regular sex with a physically lovely woman) was worth it, until the constant pressure to 'help my sister's/uncles's/aunt's/someone I want to impress debt problem' became too much.

 

With my own anecdotal evidence as backdrop, the absolute LAST thing I would ever do is 'build the house', etc.  Sadly, from what I have seen, I would be hesitant to enter into any meaningful relationship here, especially since I'm not exactly poor. The women seem to smell money, even if you don't drive a Lambo, don't tell them your Gulfstream is parked at Suvarnabhumi, or ever say anything that would indicate your level of wealth. They get a sniff then laser focus on the prize.

 

Casual, shallow relationships seem a better way to go, notwithstanding the success stories some posters are adding to this thread. In any event, to any Thai woman hoping for the proverbial prize, there's a guy landing commercial at Suvarnabhumi as I write who probably can 'take care of you'. One born every minute.

[jak2002003]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Wish I'd trusted my Brit wife a bit less ........ that trust cost me 660,000GBP.

Isn't it time you got over it?  You mention this in almost all your posts for years now.  

 

I think you would be happier person if you put that all behind you and focused on the future. 

[RafPinto]

11 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

I think you nailed a very high percentage of female Thailand. So many feel they did the 'hard work' of making themselves attractive to you, so the rest is your responsibility.

 

I see there are some posters here who claim their woman is not like that. It may be true, and if so, congrats. I have an employee---Thai female, 25 years old---who absolutely insists on making a success of herself. She's smart, creative, hard-working, and ambitious. She is also quite attractive and has many men trying to hit on her. She also happens to have a foreign fiance whom she hasn't seen in several years (Covid) and has been 100% loyal to him as far as I know.

 

In my experience---yours may differ---this employee is a unicorn. Of all the male foreigner friends and acquaintances I have in Thailand, every single one of them is either currently in, or was previously in, relationships that fit your profile exactly. Virtual word for word similarity. Every single one of them. Some of these guys fit the caricature of the chubby, old, bald, moderate means farang walking ATMs, but others are well-kept, successful, would have no trouble attracting women back home, and the ages of my friends and acquaintances vary from late 20s to 70s. They all still had the Walking ATM part in the relationships. For a few, what they got (regular sex with a physically lovely woman) was worth it, until the constant pressure to 'help my sister's/uncles's/aunt's/someone I want to impress debt problem' became too much.

 

With my own anecdotal evidence as backdrop, the absolute LAST thing I would ever do is 'build the house', etc.  Sadly, from what I have seen, I would be hesitant to enter into any meaningful relationship here, especially since I'm not exactly poor. The women seem to smell money, even if you don't drive a Lambo, don't tell them your Gulfstream is parked at Suvarnabhumi, or ever say anything that would indicate your level of wealth. They get a sniff then laser focus on the prize.

 

Casual, shallow relationships seem a better way to go, notwithstanding the success stories some posters are adding to this thread. In any event, to any Thai woman hoping for the proverbial prize, there's a guy landing commercial at Suvarnabhumi as I write who probably can 'take care of you'. One born every minute.

I would add:

Many feel they are entitled because friend X,Y,Z also found a rich farang.
They actually never met that XYZ but heard about it.
Social media full of people showing off, what they do not have.
Girls making selfies in skybars, holidays abroad etc.
Stories that they get a "salary" of at least 50k a month.
Entitled to the same but giving nothing in return.
ME? cooking, cleaning, taking care of the family home? Hire a nanny and cleaner.
My duty is to make mom happy. To raise her status in the village.

I was told that many years ago, the first old, ugly farang who arrived in her village was laughed off every single day. His GF, 25 year younger and good looking.

Until he build a villa, THE VILLA in the village.
Suddenly he was Mr. handsome farang and all mothers sent their daughters out to get also one of them.

Ladies, get an education, learn to talk and have a conversation. Show some respect. Do not think money grows on a tree. Do not believe the 2 weeks millionaires about their Ferrari, villa, 100,000$ job a month.

Come down to earth and respect the man who wants to give you a better life.
Don't try to jump from primary school into university because you read too many stories on line and facebook.

Honour the man who takes care of you and give something in return.

For me, she needs to have an education, be able to have a conversation, isn't thinking about how to milk you and also will put something on the table.

Time is on my site.

They never have time.
My last longer relationship got mental: She said I lost her time she is getting old.

Another short relationship ended and this one was 1 week later with next farang for a few weeks and a few days later the next one.
Panic, pure panic. Once they hit 38-41, the woman syndrome kicking in.
If I can't find one now, I will never find one and .... children will also out of reach.

Men, take your time. They have no time.

[RafPinto]

15 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

Isn't it time you got over it?  You mention this in almost all your posts for years now.  

 

I think you would be happier person if you put that all behind you and focused on the future. 

He's thinking about economics.

660k at 5% a year/compound.

Would be a nice earner now.

[jerrymahoney]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

That is true. But, we owe it to ourselves to be sure she is not a scammer, and not a former short time gal, who was plying the trade for years, been with thousands, and is permanently damaged psychologically, as a result of all that. It takes a bit of time to understand who she is, how emotionally developed she is (or stunted), where she came from, where she has been, and what she is made of. 

 

If she is not patient enough and walks, so be it. Better to have lost one, than to have succumbed to the awful fate of many. 

Well OK but I've read on here persons commenting on the above and describing their "due diligence" like a rancher looking to buy a prize heifer at a cattle. auction.

 

In my China days I remember the story of an American being married to a Chinese woman for 5 years. He finally brought her from China to the US and, after landing at the airport and Immigration/Customs, she vanished and he never saw her again. 

[Walker88]

17 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

Ladies, get an education, learn to talk and have a conversation. Show some respect. Do not think money grows on a tree. Do not believe the 2 weeks millionaires about their Ferrari, villa, 100,000$ job a month.

 

I know of one 'relationship' where the guy had a Gulfstream parked at Suvarnabhumi. The woman thought the gods had given her heaven on Earth. Perfume to her was Jet-A.

 

Later she was disabused of her dreams, as the guy had a 'friend' in Soi Cowboy, a couple in Nana, more in Pattaya and Phuket....and then there was Bali, KL, Hanoi, Hong Kong........POOF ! Check the Hobbs on that Gulfstream next time, woman.

[RafPinto]

2 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

I know of one 'relationship' where the guy had a Gulfstream parked at Suvarnabhumi. The woman thought the gods had given her heaven on Earth. Perfume to her was Jet-A.

 

Later she was disabused of her dreams, as the guy had a 'friend' in Soi Cowboy, a couple in Nana, more in Pattaya and Phuket....and then there was Bali, KL, Hanoi, Hong Kong........POOF ! Check the Hobbs on that Gulfstream next time, woman.

Problem is:

 

Men want to look good, want to impress.
Nobody knows you here and very easy to make up a story about your education, salary, homes etc.
Then they hire a "top class" car to drive to the village and to impress.
First weeks with the new girl is party, presents, holidays etc. She thinks she hit the jackpot and so does her family.
Now guy has to life up to his "impressions" he gave.
Many just show off and have not a pot to p.... in.

Then there are the ones who have a lot and do not talk about. They are probably not so attractive in the eyes of the hunter but the serious ones, the ones who take time, they will discover.

And the ones who have not a lot and stand to it.

Who is more attractive in the eyes of the ladies?

The young, good looking, poor one or the old, ugly but rich one. Figure.

I tell them now that I am not working here and live on a pension (not true).

Most don't even know what a pension is or they think it's a 500Baht monthly allowance 555.

 

The ones who sniff around for some free holidays, presents, gold etc.
Next door please. John, the bitcoin trillionaire lives there.

[jerrymahoney]

Sub-heading for this topic courtesy of Bruce Springsteen:

 

Well if you're looking for love
Honey I'm tougher than the rest

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, jerrymahoney said:

Well OK but I've read on here persons commenting on the above and describing their "due diligence" like a rancher looking to buy a prize heifer at a cattle. auction.

 

In my China days I remember the story of an American being married to a Chinese woman for 5 years. He finally brought her from China to the US and, after landing at the airport and Immigration/Customs, she vanished and he never saw her again. 

Yep. You never know. But, time does allow some clarity. And it affords you a better chance of success. Nothing wrong with a bit of diligence work, when it comes to a successful life or relationship. 

[Kinnock]

Just an observation ..... any poster using the word 'they' to refer to the vast spectrum of Thai females, has no real experience of women ...... probably in any country.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, jak2002003 said:

Isn't it time you got over it?  You mention this in almost all your posts for years now.  

 

I think you would be happier person if you put that all behind you and focused on the future. 

Not much future left for me.

[jerrymahoney]

13 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Yep. You never know. But, time does allow some clarity. And it affords you a better chance of success. Nothing wrong with a bit of diligence work, when it comes to a successful life or relationship. 

Key words: "A bit". I'd like say "I have a friend who ..." but I don't have any farang friends 

[Walker88]

17 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

Just an observation ..... any poster using the word 'they' to refer to the vast spectrum of Thai females, has no real experience of women ...... probably in any country.

Just an observation.....anyone who makes blanket statements about anything as a counterargument has probably not won the debate.

 

I suspect some people who use 'they' may have had a bad experience or two in Thailand, but that has no bearing on their degree of success or lack thereof with women at home or in other countries. Thailand is somewhat unique in the way foreign-local relationships are built, so whether the tale is one of success or failure, there might not be much transferable to other locales.

[Walker88]

1 hour ago, RafPinto said:

Who is more attractive in the eyes of the ladies?

The young, good looking, poor one or the old, ugly but rich one. Figure.

I tell them now that I am not working here and live on a pension (not true).

Most don't even know what a pension is or they think it's a 500Baht monthly allowance 555.

 

The ones who sniff around for some free holidays, presents, gold etc.
Next door please. John, the bitcoin trillionaire lives there.

Bitcoin gazillionaires/day trading geniuses are a dime a dozen in Thailand. Discreet (real) money is more difficult to discern, but some Thai women have a knack for sniffing it out.

 

If the guy is fit, dresses well, is groomed well, isn't heavily tatted, and doesn't go after women like he's 14 years old and just discovered his chimbo has another function besides urination, some women pick up on the fact the guy might be well-heeled. That is when the fun begins (or so I'm told...Ha!)

 

It is unwise to ever suggest one is anything other than living hand to mouth, but even that is not always a sufficient ruse if one isn't the fat, old, bald, tatted guy wearing hundred baht cargo shorts and an AC/DC wifebeater t-shirt.

[GinBoy2]

6 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

Well OK but I've read on here persons commenting on the above and describing their "due diligence" like a rancher looking to buy a prize heifer at a cattle. auction.

 

In my China days I remember the story of an American being married to a Chinese woman for 5 years. He finally brought her from China to the US and, after landing at the airport and Immigration/Customs, she vanished and he never saw her again. 

Noooo, she would have waited the two weeks until her green card and social security card showed up in the mail!

 

[olfu]

my 2 cents.

Yes, I'm old fart so learned from real life.

Modern family dont exist anymore--its a business and as in any business there are rules.

Main rule is mandatory prenuptual agreement suggested after you had sex.

If you think its too complicated its not my problem. 

[jerrymahoney]

11 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Noooo, she would have waited the two weeks until her green card and social security card showed up in the mail!

 

Well maybe then too easy to track down. This way (as the story at the time 25 or so years ago) she just disappeared into the Chinese diaspora.