A Bit Let Down

[john b good]

The defense attorney asked, "What is your age?"

The old woman answered, "I am 86 years old."

The defense attorney continued his questions, "Will you tell us, in your

own words, what happened to you?"

"Well," the old woman replied, "There I was, sitting there in my swing

on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man came

creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me."

The defense attorney continued, "Did you know him?"

"No, but he sure was friendly." replied the old woman.

"What happened after he sat down beside you?" came the next question.

"Well, he started to rub my thigh," said the old woman.

"Did you stop him?"

"No, I didn't stop him."

"Why not?" questioned the defense attorney.

The old woman explained, "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my

husband passed away 30 years ago."

"What happened next?" the defense attorney urged her.

"Next, he began to rub my breasts."

"And did you stop him then?"

"###### No, I didn't stop him!" stated the old woman.

"Why not?"

The old woman looked at the judge and explained, "Why, Your Honor, his

rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!"

"What happened next?" queried the defense attorney.

"Well," the old woman went on, "I was feeling so spicy that I just

spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

"And did he take you?" questioned the defense attorney.

"######, no!" yelled the old woman, "That's when he yelled, 'April Fool!',

and that's when I shot the son of a bitch!"