Why did you marry? And maybe why did you do it again?

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, BonMot said:

This has its place but it's shallow and the sex is usually uneventful.

Shallow worked for me. The sex was far better with Thai rentals than with my first partner, and sex with my wife was far better before we got married than after ( she seemed to lose interest once the paper was signed- funny that ).

Soooo, from my limited experience, if one wants good sex, don't get married.

 

If sex is uneventful, IMO that's down to the individuals involved, and if renting one can keep trying a new rental till one finds the right one to keep till the rental gets too complacent.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, BonMot said:

With this mindset you will just rent by the hour your life.

I don't know what Thailand you are referring to, but in the LOS I know one can rent by the day, the week or the month.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, BonMot said:

You'll never have anyone that will have any concern for you, nor you anyone else.

Being in a long term relationship or being married didn't guarantee that my partners had any concern for me in the long run. I guess that applies in the 50% or so of married couples that get divorced as well.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, BonMot said:

This has nothing to do with the original post.

 

You are not incorrect here but why do you continue to go on about it?

IMO it's relevant because many guys that married Thai women are buying the relationship with property. If it was true love, money wouldn't even come into it.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That is why guys have a pay bar fines when they take out the dancers.

Umm, that's  not actually accurate to what the post you replied to said ( "If you take a decent hard working woman away from her job it's only fair to compensate her." ) . Bar fines are paid to compensate the bar owner for losing a worker, not to compensate the girl.

She has to get the client to pay her for her time.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Who are you talking about? Certainly not me.

I don't have children and my condo is in my name (only).

Why would I even think about buying a worthless piece of land (which can't be legally in my name)?

I wish more farangs were like you, then we wouldn't have a forum full of farangs that got suckered by Thai women into marrying them, giving them a load of land, houses and cars etc, and then losing everything.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Hey, you should have known that will happen before you married her. Or at least that is what some marriage experts here want to tell us. How could you not see what will happen in the future? It must be your fault. ???? 

To be fair, marriage has a 50/ 50 chance of failure. That's not good odds.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Personally I think we can all learn from other peoples' experience.

Obviously we don't have to believe everything everybody tell us or writes in this forum.

 

But I am sure lots of people out there who discover this forum maybe a year after they arrived in Thailand think to themselves: I should have read this a year ago... 

I discovered TVF long before I got married, but I'd never read the divorce sub forum. Had I done so before getting married my life would be very different today.

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, swissie said:

Possibly of interest to guys aiming for the "until death do us part" concept.

Look at old foto albums, displaying 23 year old girls and see how they look today at the age of 65. Also, these days, software is available that projects a young face how it will look at 65 years old. Especially for woman, the result is (mostly) nothing short of frightening. At this age, everything that included former "womanhood" is just gone.

The revenge of the pink panther (evolution)? Young women have magic powers over young men. With increasing age, a shift in favor of men seems to take place. Especially if the man's second sexual organ (his wallet) is still intact.

There must be a reason, that "intact" elderly men are tempted to exchange their old woman for a newer "model", her still displaying the entire range of "womanhood" as opposed to the old woman at home.

Time is not on the side of young women. Time is a great "equaliser".

- Only some food for thaught for males (still) envisioning a long term concept based on something like "until death do us part".  For all others, this is (was) never an issue.

 

We should bear in mind that "death do us part" was invented when many men didn't live long lives.

[indyo]

be careful the big difference it's on having a son or not and that can happen always even with a gf

[FalangTingTong]

19 hours ago, Gaccha said:

If you marry in Thailand,  live in Thailand for 8 years, then move to England for 6 months... then the English Law applies to your divorce.

Where you get divorced determines what law applies.  And you can usually get divorced in the country you (legally) reside in, i.e. any country either one of you legally resides in, or any country either one of you is a citizen of.

 

IANAL but I'm pretty sure that's how it works.  It's how I got divorced, mercifully in my ex-wife's home country where divorces go pretty fast if you agree to terms.

 

It's funny, you can marry on a whim in Vegas, but you have to reside there for six weeks before you can get a divorce. Not sure what "reside" means for foreigners, maybe it's not even possible without a visa?

[jerrymahoney]

9 hours ago, BonMot said:

21 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

It is not a reason to get married. It is a reason that, if I decide to walk, she gets nothing other than the most basic household expenses.

So, basically held hostage. You'd probably give her nothing and be bitter if she left too.

 

What a cad.

 

So many like this.

The Sin Tua law is in the Thai Civil Code. I did not write it. There is no pre-nuptial agreement. What I give her I do so because that's what I want to do. The reference to basic household expenses is also in the Thai Civil Code.

 

And she does have a job with her family wholesale foods company.

[FalangTingTong]

Interesting thread!

 

I married, unwisely, mostly due to wishful thinking about the woman and the possibilities for our relationship.  The next years disabused me of these notions and I was divorced four and half years later, thankfully without any kids, but also without any money.  This was in Europe, in a country with a very high divorce rate, so while painful it wasn't weird to get divorced.

 

I think I will marry again, because I want to have kids, and I want my kinds to have every advantage I can provide them, and having married parents is a pretty big social/reputation advantage in Thailand as far as I can tell.  Probably also helps with securing their second passports.

 

But this time, I will always have a Plan B and a Plan C for myself in case it doesn't work out.  On the one hand that's the sad part of being divorced, probably most divorced people privately keep an escape plan up to date; but on the other hand, Thailand offers better fallback plans for men than we have in the West, and that's a good feeling!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[KIngsofisaan]

3 hours ago, BonMot said:

My parents were married 63 years. Different people, From a different era.

 

Exceptions that prove a rule. Notice you posted one example not ten.

I noticed you too posted one example, not 10?

[KIngsofisaan]

9 hours ago, The Hammer2021 said:

Most Western men are soft, entitled and privliged and pretty stupid. Most thai girls are tough and smart and having known poverty they work hard for themselves and their family.

No, sorry.

 

Smart is not an adjective I would use to define Thai girls 

[KIngsofisaan]

9 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Who are you talking about? Certainly not me.

I don't have children and my condo is in my name (only).

Why would I even think about buying a worthless piece of land (which can't be legally in my name)?

Are you taking that Condo with you to heaven?

 

So who cares whose name it is in?

[KIngsofisaan]

10 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems some people prefer to see the world like they want to see it and not like it is.

Personally I try to see how it is - even if I don't like it.

At least then I can learn from other peoples' mistakes. 

You are so bitter, I think you already learned from your previous mistakes and that is why you are scared to death of marriage and listen to forum advice from people you don't even know to tell yourself it wasn't your own fault.

 

No one with any sense can be as scared of marriage as you. You act like losing money or property is the end of the world?

 

Perhaps that is your issue.

 

I could care less what I have in Thailand and it wouldn't make a difference one bit.

 

Why?

 

Once the money is spent, well that is the time you should have realized it was already lost and out of your control

 

Money is spent, all gone. Didn't die

 

Wake up and put your big boy pants on

 

 

 

 

[Fat is a type of crazy]

30 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

You are so bitter, I think you already learned from your previous mistakes and that is why you are scared to death of marriage and listen to forum advice from people you don't even know to tell yourself it wasn't your own fault.

 

No one with any sense can be as scared of marriage as you. You act like losing money or property is the end of the world?

 

Perhaps that is your issue.

 

I could care less what I have in Thailand and it wouldn't make a difference one bit.

 

Why?

 

Once the money is spent, well that is the time you should have realized it was already lost and out of your control

 

Money is spent, all gone. Didn't die

 

Wake up and put your big boy pants on

 

 

 

 

I think you gave advice on this previously under a different name. Before you went to move to Florida. Your previous comments were food for thought in my case as I am not married but have a long term girlfriend. Due to a range of factors I don't want to marry and have given her total freedom. In fact she has wanted to break up twice in the last six months and I said yes twice but then she came back.

All I can say is different people have different experiences and different ideas of freedom. You may say she or I  have no other choices and it's not fair but she does as do I. Sometimes marriage and some idea of ultimate long term bonded love is just not something that appealing to both parties and we can both be happy and not married. As long as you be fair not being married does not have to be a sign of being unreasonably selfish or of immaturity.  In fact it can be a sign that you are happy with your own life and don't need to be fully bonded to someone else. 

[GinBoy2]

6 pages, and I'm too lazy to slog through them all, but here's my take.

 

When I was younger and met my first wife, who I loved, still love actually in a different way the societal norm was we drifted into marriage, and it felt good.

 

We had our kids, but various factors not least my being away from home most of the time for work, drifted apart.

 

No real animosity, and we stayed 'married' for years since we were both too lazy to actually get divorced.

 

Then I met my second (Thai) wife, sordid office affair at the company we both worked for in Singapore.

 

Had a son, loved each other, still do but somehow it didn't seem necessary to marry like the first time, we'd both been around that block.

 

So flash forward 20 years and we wanted to move back the US, so Yes

 

.......she married me for a Green Card lol

[BritManToo]

10 hours ago, xtrnuno41 said:

I thought she never would divorce. Wrong, at age 52 she divorced from god and her husband, after 34 years of mariage and 39 years of god.

Same as me!

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, BonMot said:

My parents were married 63 years. Different people, From a different era.

 

Exceptions that prove a rule. Notice you posted one example not ten.

Irrelevant to today, different rules, different laws.

Before 1997 most women got nothing in divorce, so they didn't.

If the rules were changed so the women again got nothing on divorce, they wouldn't divorce.

[KIngsofisaan]

58 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

I think you gave advice on this previously under a different name. Before you went to move to Florida. Your previous comments were food for thought in my case as I am not married but have a long term girlfriend. Due to a range of factors I don't want to marry and have given her total freedom. In fact she has wanted to break up twice in the last six months and I said yes twice but then she came back.

All I can say is different people have different experiences and different ideas of freedom. You may say she or I  have no other choices and it's not fair but she does as do I. Sometimes marriage and some idea of ultimate long term bonded love is just not something that appealing to both parties and we can both be happy and not married. As long as you be fair not being married does not have to be a sign of being unreasonably selfish or of immaturity.  In fact it can be a sign that you are happy with your own life and don't need to be fully bonded to someone else. 

Sorry you are confused

 

 

[KIngsofisaan]

1 hour ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

I think you gave advice on this previously under a different name. Before you went to move to Florida. Your previous comments were food for thought in my case as I am not married but have a long term girlfriend. Due to a range of factors I don't want to marry and have given her total freedom. In fact she has wanted to break up twice in the last six months and I said yes twice but then she came back.

All I can say is different people have different experiences and different ideas of freedom. You may say she or I  have no other choices and it's not fair but she does as do I. Sometimes marriage and some idea of ultimate long term bonded love is just not something that appealing to both parties and we can both be happy and not married. As long as you be fair not being married does not have to be a sign of being unreasonably selfish or of immaturity.  In fact it can be a sign that you are happy with your own life and don't need to be fully bonded to someone else. 

Sorry you are confused

 

 

[Fat is a type of crazy]

3 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

Sorry dont live in Florida

 

 

Fair enough. The other poster was called Issan Farmer or something. Had strong ideas about the same topic and wrote similar posts. You made a reference to Florida in a different post in the last 24 hours. Coincidence. 

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Fair enough. The other poster was called Issan Farmer or something. Had strong ideas about the same topic and wrote similar posts. You made a reference to Florida in a different post in the last 24 hours. Coincidence. 

Nah, it's the same guy with different lies.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, KIngsofisaan said:

No one with any sense can be as scared of marriage as you. You act like losing money or property is the end of the world?

 

Silly thing to say.

My world for over 30 years was Thailand and I wanted to live there till I died.

Losing my money to the wrong woman meant I had to leave Thailand that I loved and exist in a cold country. So, for me it was the end of the world.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

1 hour ago, KIngsofisaan said:

Sorry you are confused

 

 

You changed your response from 'I don't live in Florida' to 'Sorry you are confused'. It's almost as if .. someone on Asean Now is lying. Can't be. 

[OneMoreFarang]

12 hours ago, BonMot said:

To be honest, I wouldn't marry over 55 either. But I would see my gf is compensated

Sorry, what is the meaning of: I would see my gf is compensated

My gf is together with me because we love each other and are happy together.

She does not expect any compensation for living together with me.

If she would be interested in "compensation" then she could have married a rich guy.

[patongphil]

19 hours ago, Boomer6969 said:

1st marriage

 

Back in 1980 I had applied, with my [Pink] Girl friend, for immigrant visas to Australia. At the embassy they were satisfied that my skills were in high demand, but definitely not those of my PGF. So, marriage became the easiest solution to make the trip together. 

 

2nd marriage

 

Some 30 years later my Thai girl friend got pregnant...

Wonder how that happened!!

[OneMoreFarang]

6 hours ago, BonMot said:

With this mindset you will just rent by the hour your life. This has its place but it's shallow and the sex is usually uneventful.

If that is your experience than you did it wrong.