How to get out of team-building trips

[puchooay]

1 minute ago, FritsSikkink said:

He wants to fake covid, so she can't go on a trip. Jeez.

No. that was a suggestion by someone else.

 

He has never said he "want's to fake covid". He acknowledged it as an idea but not something he wants to do.

[Elkski]

23 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

 

It's sweet you are worried about the wife.   I think these trips are considered a reward for employees and willake your wife proud.   Just tell her you love her and miss her but take the risk 

[FritsSikkink]

3 minutes ago, Elkski said:

It's sweet you are worried about the wife.   I think these trips are considered a reward for employees and willake your wife proud.   Just tell her you love her and miss her but take the risk 

You are quoting the wrong person

[Mr Derek]

Alright, armchair shrinks and arbiters of morality (this discussion has gone way off the mark) - for clarification, I won't be forcing her to do anything, just offering rational advice seeing as she is blithely unaware of the danger on Thailand's roads, as apparently you all are.

 

 

[FritsSikkink]

8 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

This must be the only thread in the existence of TV/AseanNow where everyone is suddenly saying that Thailand's roads are perfectly safe and that it is fine to make unnecessary journeys in minibuses along highways. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is unnecessary in YOUR eyes.

[FritsSikkink]

6 minutes ago, puchooay said:

No. that was a suggestion by someone else.

 

He has never said he "want's to fake covid". He acknowledged it as an idea but not something he wants to do.

His words "Saying I have covid is a good suggestion. Might try that. "

[Mr Derek]

1 minute ago, FritsSikkink said:

It is unnecessary in YOUR eyes.

It is unnecessary in any rational person's eyes. Why is it necessary in your eyes?

[richard_smith237]

2 hours ago, Mr Derek said:

A slightly reassuring thought, but it's all the other road users that are the problem - the ones who are falling asleep, drunk, on drugs, using their phones, speeding like it's a computer game, driving without a license, or simply just mindless idiots. Personally, I don't think I've ever had a road trip of any length without having a near-death experience due to other drivers. 

One would wonder why you live in Thailand at all.... risk is everywhere.

 

Yes, there are risks and yes you are correct to be aware of these risks. But also, place these risks with a frame of healthy balance. 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

1 minute ago, Mr Derek said:

It is unnecessary in any rational person's eyes. Why is it necessary in your eyes?

You are not being rational though....     You are being somewhat neurotic.....  You’ve over egged the risk factor. 

 

Ask your wife to make sure she’s wearing a seatbelt. 

 

But, ultimately, if this level of risk is eating away at you... then crossing a road here must give you pause for great concern, as would building standards, gun-crime, food hygiene etc etc... 

 

 

 

 

[puchooay]

3 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

His words "Saying I have covid is a good suggestion. Might try that. "

Once again you have let yourself down with a lack of understanding of English.

[Ralf001]

50 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

Public transport into town. Safe because the roads are slow.

 

 

public transport from your front door to her office front door ?

 

[marin]

49 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

Please. This is about offering potentially life-saving advice. Priorities mate.

Life saving advice in your eyes. My wife as well must attend these types of things and she manages hundreds of people. Its just the Thai way. IMHO you are getting too worked up. You wrote you have never been on a road trip without seeing accidents and death. Well I have been on hundreds in my time here 30+ years and seen just a few. Love road trips here and always will. One rule. Don't travel on or around Songkran. That is it. Hope you can understand. 

[Mr Derek]

Only a couple of useful comments received in this thread, but carry on if it entertains you. I wish you the best of luck with all your unnecessary minibus trips of the type which you are so keen to advocate for my wife. For my part, I'll continue acting prudently with regard to some of the most dangerous roads in the world and find ways to avoid unnecessary travel.

 

 

[Liverpool Lou]

2 hours ago, Mr Derek said:

2 hours ago, nikmar said:

i could understand if it was you going on one of these things, but surely, it's up to your wife.

 

Well, yeah, but if she gets killed, it's effectively the end of my life too.

Sounds as though you're being selfish, there, you're actually worried about yourself!  But, statistically, the chances of her being killed are very low, she probably undertakes way more risky things in her normal everyday life.

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

You could always insist on going with her.

Very unlikely that he could make such demands on her employer.

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

These team building things are usually good days out. If the genuine reason is you don't want your wife to go in a minibus then you either drive her or book a taxi

...and she faces the possible wrath of her employer and colleagues because of a selfish old man!

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, Mr Derek said:

I oppose it because it's a needless risk for a trivial event and I'm angry that these companies force people to make these pointless and inefficient journeys

That's just your opinion that these (very infrequent) trips that are good for her career, are "needless, trivial, pointless and inefficient".  

[ThaiFelix]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I'd be more worried about her banging a coworker than being in a crash!

You could always insist on going with her.

 

Diplomatic solution,

Tell her you're going to stay in Pattaya while she's away.

Just pack a lot of condoms for her....problem solved.  Its not like a gang of co-workers is going to wear her out or break her, good for teambuilding too.  ????

[Ralf001]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

 

You could always insist on going with her.

 

 

But  then they will both be killed, what will he do then ?

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, Mr Derek said:

Saying I have covid is a good suggestion. Might try that. 

Making yourself sound as though you're just a selfish curmudgeon now!

[richard_smith237]

56 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

Also, I don't think Thais pay any heed at all to the fact that their roads are among the most dangerous in the world, so I feel as though I have some responsibility to at least raise the issue.

Consider the stats in perspective. 

A huge proportion of road deaths in Thailand is motorcyclists - most of those young, drunk, no helmets etc...  75% of the road fatalities are motorcycles... so you can remove that from the aggregate stat.

 

The UK has 2.9 road fatalities per 100,000 population.

Of that 20% are motorcyclists - thus, remove motorcyclists and we have a figure of....

UK: 2.3 road deaths per 100,000 of population (excluding motorcycles) 

 

The average for Europe is 9.3 road fatalities per 100,000 population.

Of that 18.4% are motorcyclists - thus, remove motorcyclists and we have a figure of....

Europe: 7.6 road deaths per 100,000 of population (excluding motorcycles) 

 

The US has 12.4 road fatalities per 100,000 population.

Of that 14% are motorcyclists - thus, remove motorcyclists and we have a figure of....

US: 10.6 road deaths per 100,000 of population (excluding motorcycles) 

 

Thailand has (an estimated) 32.7 road fatalities per 100,000 population.

Of that 75% are motorcyclists - thus, remove motorcyclists and we have a figure of....

Thailand: 8.25 road deaths per 100,000 of population (excluding motorcycles) 

 

 

Statistically, it's safer in Thailand on 4 wheels than being driven around the USA and similar to Europe.

 

Thus: The lesson - evaluate facts... or in this case look at things rationally and recognise that your Wife is at no greater risk in Thailand than she is in the US or much of Europe.

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_traffic-related_death_rate

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, Mr Derek said:

Please. This is about offering potentially life-saving advice. Priorities mate.

Yes, Mr Derek, you need to get your priorities right, also.  She is not going on a life-threatening trip.

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, puchooay said:

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

doesn't give you the right to control your wife in such a matter.

I don't believe he is. He's showing concern, possibly justified. He's certainly not controlling her.

He sure is trying to control her (and her career!) as much for his well-being as hers!

[Denim]

One thing I dislike about these bonding trips is the crazy hour they often want to leave. Can't go at a civilized time . Nope , Have to leave at 11 pm to arrive early morning and save on a hotel bill. Wife goes once a year but I know the driver otherwise I would worry.

[puchooay]

3 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

He sure is trying to control her (and her career!) as much for his well-being as hers!

If he was trying to control her he would be telling her not to go. He would be offering some kind of threat or ultimatum. He would be suggesting something detrimental to her could happen. I have not seen that.

 

He is simply questioning the safety of the roads. Something that has been bemoaned by most members on this forum one time or another. All of a sudden the roads are safe and there are no problems.

[Liverpool Lou]

54 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

This must be the only thread in the existence of TV/AseanNow where everyone is suddenly saying that Thailand's roads are perfectly safe and that it is fine to make unnecessary journeys in minibuses along highways. 

No one has suggested that Thailand's roads (that your wife uses every day anyway) are perfectly safe.  Some of us are suggesting that maybe 99.97%  of road users, out of the 69,000,000 population, do not get killed on the roads.  

Edited December 15, 2022 by Liverpool Lou

[richard_smith237]

8 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

He sure is trying to control her (and her career!) as much for his well-being as hers!

I think his concern is valid....   IF they were travelling by motorcycle many more would be supportive of the Op’s opinion... 

 

It could be argued that his [The Ops concern] is not about trying to control her [His Wife] but is trying to protect her because he loves her -  think that concern is fair enough. 

 

The issue is perhaps that the concern is misplaced when factually and statistically evaluating risk. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Liverpool Lou]

53 minutes ago, puchooay said:

57 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

He wants to fake covid, so she can't go on a trip. Jeez.

No. that was a suggestion by someone else.

 

He has never said he "want's to fake covid". He acknowledged it as an idea

He clearly suggested that he thought that it was a good idea.

[Liverpool Lou]

50 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

Alright, armchair shrinks and arbiters of morality (this discussion has gone way off the mark) - for clarification, I won't be forcing her to do anything

You want to!  You're considering faking covid to stop her trip!

[Liverpool Lou]

51 minutes ago, Mr Derek said:

she is blithely unaware of the danger on Thailand's roads, as apparently you all are.

Roughly, 0.03% of the population die on the roads each year.  I know that is, obviously, too much but your wife has a much better chance of surviving her trip and assisting her career than she has of being killed while travelling to the destination.   

 

By the way, did she embark on this career after you married her or were you married knowing that she had a serious career and that she could not spend her life and career worrying whether you approve of everything that her career entailed?