I pay for something and the cashier hands the change back to my wife?

[Speedhump]

10 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I think many farang feel 'less than' when they live here, possibly due to not understanding the culture, or not speaking the language. When the ego feels threatened, it lashes out, and concocts all kinds of insane stories to not feel less than.

I think the word 'many' is completely wrong. I know 'many' farang here, and I don't know one that outwardly displays any worries of inferiority (which is the word you were looking for). They all seem quite at ease in their dealings with Thais. Perhaps you meant to say 'some', and to qualify it with the fact that you're not speaking from personal wide experience of seeing farang being nasty to Thais.... 

[zzaa09]

20 minutes ago, Speedhump said:

I think the word 'many' is completely wrong. I know 'many' farang here, and I don't know one that outwardly displays any worries of inferiority (which is the word you were looking for). They all seem quite at ease in their dealings with Thais. Perhaps you meant to say 'some', and to qualify it with the fact that you're not speaking from personal wide experience of seeing farang being nasty to Thais.... 

They might not display nastiness towards Thais, but always are thinking it. 

[acepredator]

On 3/1/2023 at 9:19 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

It also happens to me from time to time. I suspect that Thai prefer to interact with other Thais because they use the same language, body language, etc. It's more familiar to them and more comfortable. 

No problem.

 

Wrong. It is a problem. It happens to me every time I am with my Thai companion, and it has nothing to do with language. Do you have to speak the same language as a customer to hand that customer his change from a purchase? Of course not. What an idiotic concept. The reason Thai clerks completely ignore foreign customers who are accompanied by a Thai is that they hate us. Thais are appallingly xenophobic and racist. The people of Thailand would be delighted if every single foreigner here got on an airplane and left tomorrow. Maybe they wouldn't be so happy later when they realized that we had stopped spending the billions of baht a year we spend to help support their economy.

[ericthai]

On 3/1/2023 at 9:37 AM, Ohyesuare said:

Change goes to the wife and the restaurant bill always to the "falang". Just the way things are here, doesn't bother me to be honest. 

Not always true, many times I go out to eat with Thai friends and we share the bill or one of the Thai guys will pay it.

When the whole family gets together and goes out to eat my Thai brother-in-law usually pays the bill or we share it.

 

[OneMoreFarang]

5 hours ago, acepredator said:

Wrong. It is a problem. It happens to me every time I am with my Thai companion, and it has nothing to do with language. Do you have to speak the same language as a customer to hand that customer his change from a purchase? Of course not. What an idiotic concept. The reason Thai clerks completely ignore foreign customers who are accompanied by a Thai is that they hate us. Thais are appallingly xenophobic and racist. The people of Thailand would be delighted if every single foreigner here got on an airplane and left tomorrow. Maybe they wouldn't be so happy later when they realized that we had stopped spending the billions of baht a year we spend to help support their economy.

Reading this is interesting.

Personally it happens seldom to me that the waiter tries to give the change back to my gf. And if it happens then she shows him/her they should give it to me. Fine.

But mostly they give it back to me. So maybe they don't all hate all foreigners.

Reading your comment, I understand why they don't give it to you. Because who wants to interact with someone who thinks and writes "Thais are appallingly xenophobic and racist."

With you I am pretty sure they would be delighted if you got on an airplane and left tomorrow or better today.

 

The problem is your attitude. Change that and you might live relaxed and peacefully and maybe Thais will give you the change. Otherwise think about that plane home. It will improve not only your life but also the lives of many Thais and non-Thai-hating foreigners in this beautiful country.

[Speedhump]

11 hours ago, zzaa09 said:

They might not display nastiness towards Thais, but always are thinking it. 

And who exactly are 'they' and do tell me how you know what 'they' are thinking? ????

[SuperSilverHaze]

I often offload anything complicated I can't deal with to the wife. Rather than me making a hash, giving the Thai person a headache wife just takes care of it. Sometimes she a bit annoyed when busy but I remind her if the cards were different and we were living in the United States I would be taking care of everything and more in addition to finances.

 

Wife is very supportive and even beginning to learn more about 90 day reports, visa extension packages, extension of stay nuances.

 

 

The money comes back and it's always to her. I think in addition to being Thai, she usually orders the meal and I'll just add some things at the end. We are in BKK, this isn't a farang pay thing but I know the attitude common. So, stay away from that

[acepredator]

14 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Reading this is interesting.

Personally it happens seldom to me that the waiter tries to give the change back to my gf. And if it happens then she shows him/her they should give it to me. Fine.

But mostly they give it back to me. So maybe they don't all hate all foreigners.

Reading your comment, I understand why they don't give it to you. Because who wants to interact with someone who thinks and writes "Thais are appallingly xenophobic and racist."

With you I am pretty sure they would be delighted if you got on an airplane and left tomorrow or better today.

 

The problem is your attitude. Change that and you might live relaxed and peacefully and maybe Thais will give you the change. Otherwise think about that plane home. It will improve not only your life but also the lives of many Thais and non-Thai-hating foreigners in this beautiful country.

Thanks very much for your sage advice. The only problem with taking "that plane home" is that home is the Evil Empire, commonly referred to as the United States. Rather than being the victim of xenophobia and racism, I'd very likely be the victim of a random shooting when I visited my local McDonald's or supermarket. Fortunately, being childless I never had to see my son or daughter being murdered in his or her classroom. But, of course, we have to endure such tragedies to protect the sanctity of the 2nd Amendment (apologies to non-Americans who don't know what that is).

 

This will be my 17th year living in Thailand. It's certainly a very nice looking country, but I think beautiful is a bit overzealous of a description. During these 17 years, the only Thais I have disliked (not hated) are those who have shown me rudeness, disrespect or threatening behavior. Such Thais constitute a small minority, admittedly, but they still exist. Your perception of the saintliness of all Thais seems to me to be, again, overzealous. The vast majority of Thais have treated me with either politeness or indifference, which is exactly as I would like to be treated.

 

Currently, I support my companion and contribute to the support of her adult daughter and her two grandchildren, ages 12 and 3. I put the adult daughter through school and am helping to put the two grandchildren through school also. Your contention that every Thai would be delighted if I got on a plane tomorrow, or better today, could not be more misguided. You wouldn't want to meet my companion if she knew that it was your advice that put me on that flight to the Evil Empire.

 

I will continue to treat those I meet with decency, civility and respect, regardless of their race or nationality. All I've ever asked, wherever I've lived, is to be treated in the same way.

 

 

[radiochaser]

On 3/1/2023 at 3:44 AM, Fat is a type of crazy said:

If you are out with your wife and her friends don't look at other girls. No one would like it. Embarrassing for your wife and her friends.  Bizarre. 

My wife isn't embarrassed by my looking and she does not care.   

What I find bizarre are those people who are so insanely jealous that they get raging mad about their partner looking at  another woman!   

What are you supposed to do, wear blinders and walk around, looking at the floor, with your wife leading you around by a string tied to a ring in the nose?   

[radiochaser]

On 3/1/2023 at 3:45 AM, Lucky Bones said:

Maybe your wife is angry that you get bored/angry at restaurants?

Observe body language of others, quite often you can learn more than spoken words.

And.....let the wife receive the change, arrange the tip and keep the left-overs.????????

No, my wife understands.  She remembers how it was when she first arrived in the United States and her English language skills were poor.  She didn't understand what people, who were speaking English, were saying.  Like I am currently with my Thai language skills, she knew enough English to live and survive in America, but had difficulty with having an adult level conversation in English. 

My wife would attend as many English for foreign people classes (free in California) as she could and her English language skills improved.   

Just because I don't have adult conversational skills does not mean that I don't pay attention to body language and facial expressions.    But body language does little to nothing to help you understand when people are talking about financial issues, business, current events, etc.  

When we are out with a group, either someone else pays the bill or my wife does, so she gets the change, why not, it's her money.   She has more money than I do anyway.   When we go out together one or the other of us pays the bill.   I don't recall, right now, if the clerks have ever given my change to my wife.   I have had them speak to my wife in Thai though.   Which is ok.  My wife translates for me. 

[radiochaser]

On 3/1/2023 at 4:02 AM, alex8912 said:

You don't fly very much these days.

I fly more than many people do.   Usually to other countries.   Japan, Korea, Thailand, Sweden, Germany, went to Scotland once.   Usually just Thailand.  I have been traveling since I was a child.   Back then it was by train or car in the U.S.  Went to Japan and back on a ship.  It wasn't a tour.  It was the way you traveled there at the time.   

I haven't flown anywhere yet, this year.  But flew to Louisiana and Texas twice last year.  Flew to Thailand too.   My wife and I like to fly first class in the U.S., but it's business class internationally.   Biggest hardship is having to walk from one side of the airport to the other, just to get to an open airlines lounge.   Most of the lounges I go to closed up during and after covid!

Wife and I with the grandkids and their mother will be flying back to Thailand later this year. I leave in June, the rest of the family will leave in July.  Wife has plans on flying over to Vietnam while we are there.   I think I will be in SEA for 6 or 7 weeks.   The biggest restriction on flying nowadays is, taking care of the grandkids while the mom works.   

We all choose the seats we sit in.   Unless someone else has chosen them first.   Daughter chooses hers and the kids seats in Economy Plus..   Neither the airlines nor the attendants chooses our seats.  I choose the kids seats if they are are flying with me, to keep them near me.    I have flown on Southwest Airlines here in the U.S., twice.   There no seat assignment on that one.   It's first come first sit on that one.   

[Neeranam]

On 3/3/2023 at 12:58 AM, acepredator said:

The reason Thai clerks completely ignore foreign customers who are accompanied by a Thai is that they hate us.

But you gotta admire their level of tolerance, and 13 different smiles to fool most.

[Neeranam]

7 minutes ago, radiochaser said:

Usually to other countries.   Japan, Korea, Thailand, Sweden, Germany, went to Scotland once.   

Why just once, it's a great country?

[radiochaser]

On 3/1/2023 at 10:56 PM, IndomitableSpirit said:

I'm curious as how old are the posters/members here in ASEAN? I'm not sure if I join in the right forum being a millennial.????????‍♀️

Mid 70's here.   My first time in Thailand was 1972.

[Neeranam]

On 3/2/2023 at 9:39 PM, Speedhump said:

I think the word 'many' is completely wrong. I know 'many' farang here, and I don't know one that outwardly displays any worries of inferiority (which is the word you were looking for). They all seem quite at ease in their dealings with Thais. Perhaps you meant to say 'some', and to qualify it with the fact that you're not speaking from personal wide experience of seeing farang being nasty to Thais.... 

Yeah, perhaps 'some' is more accurate. 

I rarely see farang being nasty to Thais, but I often see farang being culturally insensitive to Thais, just yesterday saw one hugging his caddy after finishing a round,

Often see farnang touching caddies, which is totally offensive. Often see farang with inappropriate body language, raised voices etc. I guess they are new here and haven't figured out the indirect communication style yet, or 'greng jai' etc. 

[Neeranam]

On 3/2/2023 at 10:56 AM, IndomitableSpirit said:

I'm curious as how old are the posters/members here in ASEAN? I'm not sure if I join in the right forum being a millennial.????????‍♀️

Most are old guys. There used to be young ones but they were all banned.

[radiochaser]

On 3/2/2023 at 6:52 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Reading this is interesting.

Personally it happens seldom to me that the waiter tries to give the change back to my gf. And if it happens then she shows him/her they should give it to me. Fine.

But mostly they give it back to me. So maybe they don't all hate all foreigners.

Reading your comment, I understand why they don't give it to you. Because who wants to interact with someone who thinks and writes "Thais are appallingly xenophobic and racist."

With you I am pretty sure they would be delighted if you got on an airplane and left tomorrow or better today.

 

The problem is your attitude. Change that and you might live relaxed and peacefully and maybe Thais will give you the change. Otherwise think about that plane home. It will improve not only your life but also the lives of many Thais and non-Thai-hating foreigners in this beautiful country.

Might be the result of that "body language" a poster wrote about to me. 

[Neeranam]

I took a flight from Bangkok to Khon Kaen recently. 

I was the only white guy on the plane. 

After the air hostess went through the emergency drill, she came over to me and started talking English, saying she had to give me the instructions. I said that I had just observed them and she stated that by law she had to tell me in English. I pulled out my Thai ID card and told her I was Thai, what an embarrassment. I have a good mind to complain to the airline for racial discrimination.

[radiochaser]

21 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Why just once, it's a great country?

Just the way it was.   I went to pick up some rifle barrels.   The markup on the price, here in the U.S. of A.,  for the barrels I wanted was more than the cost of a round trip ticket and a 2 day hotel stay in Scotland.   

 

 

[Fat is a type of crazy]

1 hour ago, radiochaser said:

My wife isn't embarrassed by my looking and she does not care.   

What I find bizarre are those people who are so insanely jealous that they get raging mad about their partner looking at  another woman!   

What are you supposed to do, wear blinders and walk around, looking at the floor, with your wife leading you around by a string tied to a ring in the nose?   

Fair enough. I see it as a way of showing polite respect by not looking rather than being controlled. Being caught from time to time is probably natural. My girlfriend would be horrified if I did it as a matter of course. If you have no problem with her looking at men and it works for you both then no worries.

[Neeranam]

2 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Fair enough. I see it as a way of showing polite respect by not looking rather than being controlled. Being caught from time to time is probably natural. My girlfriend would be horrified if I did it as a matter of course. If you have no problem with her looking at men and it works for you both then no worries.

My wife and I enjoy looking at sexy young women.

[EVENKEEL]

On 3/1/2023 at 12:15 PM, JensenZ said:

They have this attitude that if they order a lot of food and leave a lot behind, they are perceived as a higher class (or rich). They can afford to waste as much as they want. What's more, I had a British friend who was married to a Thai woman. He used to take his wife, family, and friends out to dinner, and they would leave a huge amount of food uneaten... much of it untouched. He would have it bagged up and put in the refrigerator at home (much to his wife's disgust), and no one would eat it, even the maid... and eventually it would go to the dogs.

even the maid ahahahaa, how posh

[radiochaser]

5 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Fair enough. I see it as a way of showing polite respect by not looking rather than being controlled. Being caught from time to time is probably natural. My girlfriend would be horrified if I did it as a matter of course. If you have no problem with her looking at men and it works for you both then no worries.

I don't.   Looked to see what she was looking at on her phone today, as I was hearing loud blaring music.   She was looking at male, Thai, dancers.   I shrugged my shoulders and went back to helping my granddaughter with her homework. 

[FritsSikkink]

On 3/1/2023 at 8:40 AM, SenorTashi said:

I told her to stop taking advantage of foreigners and pay her own bloody bills. They were expecting me to fill the car up with petrol even though I cycle everywhere. 

 

The other question I had for you guys is, has anyone ever heard the expression 'don't worry, farang pay?' because she said that to me one night after a meal her brother in law had just paid for and tons of food got wasted.

I said, 'you do realise who you're talking to don't you?' 

She obviously doesn't respect you at all if she can't be bothered to use your name.

[FritsSikkink]

On 3/1/2023 at 9:29 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

IMO farangs come below soi dogs, so why would they want to talk to us if they have a Thai to talk to instead?

Maybe you are but i know many foreigners who are respected even if they speak a little bit of Thai. They like you make an effort to learn the language of the country you are living in.

[FritsSikkink]

On 3/1/2023 at 9:45 AM, HauptmannUK said:

Couple of days ago in Tops my wife paid but the girl gave the change to me...

And a funny thing happened in 7-11 yesterday..  my wife bought a Thai-style pudding. The girl asked her if she wanted it warming up. My wife didn't catch what she said and just looked confused so the girl then asks ME (in Thai) if my wife wants it warming!

Generally though I think Thais often prefer to interact with other Thais purely out of ease of communication. I speak Thai pretty well and once they realise that, I find many are happy to chat.

Spot on.

[StayinThailand2much]

Wasn't there word of "dirty farangs" from government ministers not so long ago? Perhaps the cashier preferred giving the change to a Thai...

[FritsSikkink]

On 3/1/2023 at 12:46 PM, Bangkok Barry said:

The immigration police came to the house after I'd applied for my marriage extension, and despite me being the only reason they were there they completely ignored me. I was invisible.

Did you talk to them in Thai?

[FritsSikkink]

On 3/1/2023 at 1:18 PM, wombat said:

you are aware of the ''once its in a tg's hand its never given back to the farang' law aren't you?

No, as i always get my money back.

[Speedhump]

1 hour ago, Neeranam said:

Yeah, perhaps 'some' is more accurate. 

I rarely see farang being nasty to Thais, but I often see farang being culturally insensitive to Thais, just yesterday saw one hugging his caddy after finishing a round,

Often see farnang touching caddies, which is totally offensive. Often see farang with inappropriate body language, raised voices etc. I guess they are new here and haven't figured out the indirect communication style yet, or 'greng jai' etc. 

Totally true, ignorant but unrepentant foreigners are very often insensitive to local culture all around the world. Europeans wearing skimpy beachwear to the mall in the UAE for example. It's illegal, but security guards rarely say anything. It's usually an old local lady who will shout at them eventually.

 

Also I had words with a Chinese man shopping topless in Lotus Hua Hin a long while back. Not my job I know (I'll say it before the usual fools jump on me), but I was actually offended.