Isaan thinking of Falang

[LaosLover]

5 minutes ago, Stevey said:

Also what will I move onto after I’ve ditched him.

You seem 100% committed to remaining in this child's life. Fair enough.

 

But that quote above bears reflection.

 

My brother raised another man's infant for 5 years while he was in prison, with his girlfriend.

 

That guy got out of prison and took the child back. Then the GF ran off with the prison-guy.

 

There's a lot of instability in your situation too. Out of you, the kid, and the mother, you have the least say-so in how things play out.

[puchooay]

14 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

The second part of my post that says that modern people should tread lightly in very traditional places and expect some judgement along the way?

Exactly. You are very confused, maybe naive, with regards to Isaan people. You keep writing the same, incorrect and wide of the mark, things despite being advised you are just that.

[LaosLover]

If only you could explain what you mean in any kind of broad sociological way instead of sniffily claiming superiority and then lapsing in to solemn muteness.

 

This nice man's problems can be boiled down to disappointment that people in a poor, religious-orthodox place think and act differently from what he'd like.

 

If he lived next door to me in Yuppie-bubble, Nimman, Chiang Mai, he would have no such problems.

 

I don't recall your advisement. At all. Please feel free to advise again.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

You could do a Great Expectations and put some money aside for him for when he turns 16 or 18 and maybe help him along the way by say paying school and other expenses directly, rather than via the mother, with her consent. It seems like Issan life, except being with the child, is annoying you and boring you. 

[puchooay]

25 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

This nice man's problems can be boiled down to disappointment that people in a poor, religious-orthodox place think and act differently from what he'd like.

Thank you for saving me from having to prove my point. You've done it yourself, above.

[LaosLover]

This is like, "Riddle me this, Batman".

[LaosLover]

3 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

paying school and other expenses directly.

 

It seems like Issan life, except being with the child, is annoying you and boring you. 

This is very humane advice.

 

If you moved out 6 months ago, tried to hang on, and now feel this level of unhappiness, you need to go.

 

[bignok]

Imo the less you care about the opinions of others the better off you are. Who are these people anyway? Nobodies.

[Gecko123]

I raised a Thai step-daughter from age 5 pretty much up to majority and occasionally encountered nosy shop keepers who asked overly inquisitive questions, but it only got overbearing to the point where I felt a line had been crossed a handful of times. If the OP is not exaggerating the frequency of these incidents, and they really are occurring practically every time he turns around, that suggests to me that there may be some historical notoriety in play here either with the girlfriend, the boy's father, or the OP which is making people feel entitled to be concerned about the boy's welfare beyond normal chit chat, some history of domestic instability which the OP may or may not be fully aware of. Perhaps the boy's father was well-known in the area and this is why people are more curious and nosy than normal.

 

It's in all likelihood a pipe dream to think that Daang is going to reward the OP for stepping in to raise him during his formative years by looking after the OP during his dotage. There are multi things working against this scenario. First and foremost, the "engaged" or "involved" father model, which it sounds like the OP is trying to emulate, goes against the grain of how most Thai fathers interact with their children. What might seem admirable back home is going to be seen as over-involved parenting, and as he gets older, Dang's peer group will probably see it as weird, overly-protective, etc. I know that over the years a number of posters have claimed they will be able to rely on this inter-generational help, but I suspect this is the very rare exception.

 

In regards to the noodle shop incident, a five year old boy should be allowed to order his own food, if only for socialization purposes. There was never a time when my step-daughter didn't have a chance to order something when we went to a restaurant, and the OP's attempts to economize are understandably raising the hackles and eyebrows of the noodle shop owner and other patrons. Cut this out; the kid's no longer an infant.

 

You've alluded several times to some poster who has boasted about being able to speak Thai, and how you would love to hear his Thai. I haven't followed your threads very closely, but for the life of me I can't figure out who you are referring to. If by some chance you were referring to me, I will only say that I studied the language 9 straight years before moving here 20 years ago, and there are clues in your transliteration of Thai which tell me that you have not yet fully mastered the tonal and pronunciation system. I'm just saying, if by some chance you were referring to me, I think you're barking up the wrong tree, pal.

 

The basic problem I have with the OP's posts is the antagonistic and condescending attitude he seems to have towards the locals he encounters. You're never going to live in harmony any where in Thailand until you change this attitude.

 

 

 

[save the frogs]

7 hours ago, bignok said:

Guys who never travelled are failures. They spent 60 years reading the same book.

People who don't ever venture abroad tend to be narrow-minded.

 

Although no one likes to admit they're a 'failure' in their home country, it can be a blessing in disguise to have problems. It forces you to venture out to places like Thailand and life becomes more of an adventure.

 

[Adumbration]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I have no problem caring or other people's kids.

After all, back in the UK someone is looking after 4 of mine.

So it's only fair!

Ok....But was the "someone" already in a relationship with your Ex before you impregnated her with the four kids.

[Adumbration]

On 4/29/2023 at 5:27 PM, youreavinalaff said:

He suggested we were all failures in our own country.

 

I'm not and wasn't prior to moving to Thailand. 

 

Hence my comment " Speak for yourself".

How do you gauge failure? 

 

If doing nothing for the last two decades other that travel, fish, dive, surf, and have sex with asian girls then I am an abject failure.

 

[Stevey]

7 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I raised a Thai step-daughter from age 5 pretty much up to majority and occasionally encountered nosy shop keepers who asked overly inquisitive questions, but it only got overbearing to the point where I felt a line had been crossed a handful of times. If the OP is not exaggerating the frequency of these incidents, and they really are occurring practically every time he turns around, that suggests to me that there may be some historical notoriety in play here either with the girlfriend, the boy's father, or the OP which is making people feel entitled to be concerned about the boy's welfare beyond normal chit chat, some history of domestic instability which the OP may or may not be fully aware of. Perhaps the boy's father was well-known in the area and this is why people are more curious and nosy than normal.

 

It's in all likelihood a pipe dream to think that Daang is going to reward the OP for stepping in to raise him during his formative years by looking after the OP during his dotage. There are multi things working against this scenario. First and foremost, the "engaged" or "involved" father model, which it sounds like the OP is trying to emulate, goes against the grain of how most Thai fathers interact with their children. What might seem admirable back home is going to be seen as over-involved parenting, and as he gets older, Dang's peer group will probably see it as weird, overly-protective, etc. I know that over the years a number of posters have claimed they will be able to rely on this inter-generational help, but I suspect this is the very rare exception.

 

In regards to the noodle shop incident, a five year old boy should be allowed to order his own food, if only for socialization purposes. There was never a time when my step-daughter didn't have a chance to order something when we went to a restaurant, and the OP's attempts to economize are understandably raising the hackles and eyebrows of the noodle shop owner and other patrons. Cut this out; the kid's no longer an infant.

 

You've alluded several times to some poster who has boasted about being able to speak Thai, and how you would love to hear his Thai. I haven't followed your threads very closely, but for the life of me I can't figure out who you are referring to. If by some chance you were referring to me, I will only say that I studied the language 9 straight years before moving here 20 years ago, and there are clues in your transliteration of Thai which tell me that you have not yet fully mastered the tonal and pronunciation system. I'm just saying, if by some chance you were referring to me, I think you're barking up the wrong tree, pal.

 

The basic problem I have with the OP's posts is the antagonistic and condescending attitude he seems to have towards the locals he encounters. You're never going to live in harmony any where in Thailand until you change this attitude.

 

 

 

A great post and I think we’ll meaning. 
 

1. Dangs father was not known outside of the village. My girlfriend while we were split up for 3 years or so got with him ( I wrote a novel on this story a couple of days ago and it didn’t post ????)  she met him in Hua Hin they were in love. He was a head Chef in a big name hotel and had a good career going. She was ready to retire from sitting in Colin and his wife’s (her cousin) bar all night and retired ( what I was waiting for her to do) They started building a small house, that I’m sitting outside of now at midnight with the dogs. She had sold some land her father had given her to finance it. Colin had been tricked by his missus into buying the land thinking it was some other land. She got pregnant had the baby and thats when he got off. My girlfriend can be lovely as she has been for a while now but you have to know how to handle her and what hill to die on. I imagine that the Thai Chef had enough of her psychotic behaviour and he sent me a stream of messages, when he found out she would make contact with me while they were together, saying she was a gambling addict. He was twisted and when he found my number on her phone I had a good six months of weird photos while she was asleep and then when she was pregnant. He was obsessed with me but me and her were finished. He stayed for the birth which I was tricked into sending 8000 baht for and she probably got birthed under the 30 baht scheme. She told me she was alone at the birth but a year later or more I found a Facebook profile he’d made with him holding Dang in the hospital. He also made multiple face book profiles of her too which many friends chatted with her /him on. Works out they were meant for each other a couple of psychos together. 
 

I got with her a year after Dang was born when I passed through her village at the end of a four month break in Thailand and Bali. And it all started. 
 

 

2. Time will only tell if Dang’s attachment to me endures. That’s in his hands. He is definitely not the same as any other kids in the area , as was I in my childhood 

 

3. Never seen him eat a bowl of noodles, he eats pork balls LookChin and he was welcome to mine. 
 

 

4. Unless your the guy who says “ and I speak ‘good’ Thai “ it’s not you. 
 

I don’t bother with the tones so much just make sure the last word I say sounds good. 
 

5. I just don’t let people walk over me. This BS about everyone runs along and is polite. There are people here who just do what they want and everyone else has to take it and not complain or they are seen as the problem. Example 1. Left side 100 year old neighbour won’t die and keeps inedible chickens. They walk to out side at 10 am as he lifts the wicker baskets and they <deleted> all over our outside floors and eat any food left in the outside kitchen.

 

I live in harmony with those who I get on with. The ones I don’t get on with have made the problem. 
 

My girlfriend lives the way you suggest and everyone does what they please. The opposite to the west. 
 

 

[puchooay]

1 hour ago, Stevey said:

A great post and I think we’ll meaning. 
 

1. Dangs father was not known outside of the village. My girlfriend while we were split up for 3 years or so got with him ( I wrote a novel on this story a couple of days ago and it didn’t post ????)  she met him in Hua Hin they were in love. He was a head Chef in a big name hotel and had a good career going. She was ready to retire from sitting in Colin and his wife’s (her cousin) bar all night and retired ( what I was waiting for her to do) They started building a small house, that I’m sitting outside of now at midnight with the dogs. She had sold some land her father had given her to finance it. Colin had been tricked by his missus into buying the land thinking it was some other land. She got pregnant had the baby and thats when he got off. My girlfriend can be lovely as she has been for a while now but you have to know how to handle her and what hill to die on. I imagine that the Thai Chef had enough of her psychotic behaviour and he sent me a stream of messages, when he found out she would make contact with me while they were together, saying she was a gambling addict. He was twisted and when he found my number on her phone I had a good six months of weird photos while she was asleep and then when she was pregnant. He was obsessed with me but me and her were finished. He stayed for the birth which I was tricked into sending 8000 baht for and she probably got birthed under the 30 baht scheme. She told me she was alone at the birth but a year later or more I found a Facebook profile he’d made with him holding Dang in the hospital. He also made multiple face book profiles of her too which many friends chatted with her /him on. Works out they were meant for each other a couple of psychos together. 
 

I got with her a year after Dang was born when I passed through her village at the end of a four month break in Thailand and Bali. And it all started. 
 

 

2. Time will only tell if Dang’s attachment to me endures. That’s in his hands. He is definitely not the same as any other kids in the area , as was I in my childhood 

 

3. Never seen him eat a bowl of noodles, he eats pork balls LookChin and he was welcome to mine. 
 

 

4. Unless your the guy who says “ and I speak ‘good’ Thai “ it’s not you. 
 

I don’t bother with the tones so much just make sure the last word I say sounds good. 
 

5. I just don’t let people walk over me. This BS about everyone runs along and is polite. There are people here who just do what they want and everyone else has to take it and not complain or they are seen as the problem. Example 1. Left side 100 year old neighbour won’t die and keeps inedible chickens. They walk to out side at 10 am as he lifts the wicker baskets and they <deleted> all over our outside floors and eat any food left in the outside kitchen.

 

I live in harmony with those who I get on with. The ones I don’t get on with have made the problem. 
 

My girlfriend lives the way you suggest and everyone does what they please. The opposite to the west. 
 

 

Lovely. Let's file it in the Fiction section.

[CrunchWrapSupreme]

On 4/28/2023 at 6:42 AM, Fat is a type of crazy said:

I think you are Australian. Maybe time to face facts - Thai women are nice but life in Australia can be better for you. At 48 you can earn a good living, fish for healthy fish, understand and be understood and maybe retire in Thailand at 60. 

That's exactly my plan. I spent nearly a decade in the LOS. Now at 45 I figured it was time to come home, and just did so last week.

 

The old folks here need help doing the dishes, as you can see. Traded in the Issan farm (with the burnt sugar cane leaves) for the Idaho farm (with the big tractor). Not really my farms, just the scenery I mean heh. But I can make much more money here over the next 20 years, after which I can retire, then go back to Thailand.

 

Also on the way, hopefully later this year, will be my Thai wife. She's looking forward to $20/hr rather than 8 bucks a day.

[Gecko123]

@SteveyMy post was meant to be helpful.

[Lemsta69]

1 hour ago, CrunchWrapSupreme said:

That's exactly my plan. I spent nearly a decade in the LOS. Now at 45 I figured it was time to come home, and just did so last week.

 

The old folks here need help doing the dishes, as you can see. Traded in the Issan farm (with the burnt sugar cane leaves) for the Idaho farm (with the big tractor). Not really my farms, just the scenery I mean heh. But I can make much more money here over the next 20 years, after which I can retire, then go back to Thailand.

 

Also on the way, hopefully later this year, will be my Thai wife. She's looking forward to $20/hr rather than 8 bucks a day.

Good plan. Make as much money as you can in a high-paying country during the prime of your life and set yourself up for your golden years. 

 

I have a good buddy who did the same a little over 20 years ago, now he's retired in Thailand and living it up. His younger brother stayed in S.E.A. working the usual low-paid job and doesn't have a cent to his name.

[Goat]

On 4/28/2023 at 11:16 AM, Stevey said:

Thai people who realise I’m saying a word incorrectly but can guess I mean a particular word going on the context of the situation, some Thais appear incapable of this.

Sorry to hear that you are incapable of pronouncing words properly which you then blame on thai people.

 

And you hate the way you imagine they are talking negatively about you or farangs in general behind your back but then go on to slag them off on this forum. Pot calling the kettle black.

 

[Stevey]

13 hours ago, Goat said:

Sorry to hear that you are incapable of pronouncing words properly which you then blame on thai people.

 

And you hate the way you imagine they are talking negatively about you or farangs in general behind your back but then go on to slag them off on this forum. Pot calling the kettle black.

 

I will address this troll.

 

I am not prepared to put the effort in with the language to the extent of the 5 Mai's etc. and then there is a whole new set of vocabulary with Isaan. No I’m doing ok. A man told me yonks back “ once you grasp the language you will realise that they are talking a load of nothing “ that is correct. 
 

I do believe I’m getting a push back from the language experts here. If you have really put that much effort into speaking this language what kind of topics of conversation do you cover with the locals ? 

Isaan people are of a different breed to Falangs. I put them in the same category as Zulu tribal people 

 

[youreavinalaff]

3 minutes ago, Stevey said:

I will address this troll.

 

I am not prepared to put the effort in with the language to the extent of the 5 Mai's etc. and then there is a whole new set of vocabulary with Isaan. No I’m doing ok. A man told me yonks back “ once you grasp the language you will realise that they are talking a load of nothing “ that is correct. 
 

I do believe I’m getting a push back from the language experts here. I’d you have really put that much effort into speaking this language what kind of topics of conversation do you cover with the locals ? 

Isaan people are of a different breed to Falangs. I put them in the same category as Zulu tribal people 

 

No effort at all to learn the language. It's called the "immersion method". Immerse yourself and ye shall learn. Conversation, if you can keep up, can take any direction you like. Conversation is, at least. a two way thing.

 

Your last paragraph once again proves a point about your approach and misguided disdain for Isaan people.

[Stevey]

20 minutes ago, youreavinalaff said:

No effort at all to learn the language. It's called the "immersion method". Immerse yourself and ye shall learn. Conversation, if you can keep up, can take any direction you like. Conversation is, at least. a two way thing.

 

Your last paragraph once again proves a point about your approach and misguided disdain for Isaan people.

I do have a disdain for quite a few people I come across if they cause me to feel that way. 
 

Today I was at the fathers goat farm and an Isaan harridan was riding past honking the horn and was selling those ice cream out of.cooler on the back. If you’ve every seen them I think they are referred to as Boran ice cream and there are flavours such as Durian and Puak? the purple one. They are made on about 8inch blocks with a plain paper wrap. They always produce a knife and  cut a piece in half and present 4inchs on a stick then  ask for 10baht. When the lad chose his flavour she presented an 8inch Ron Jeremy size block on a stick and ans said “ 20baht “. I said “ Do one you old witch ! “ which she didn’t understand and the girlfriend told her 10 baht will do ok so she cut the top off. I know she’s just trying to make a buck but its just taking the pi55 now ! 
 

 

Where are you hailing from where you are have such quality conversations? 

[freedomnow]

On 4/28/2023 at 7:26 AM, Stevey said:

 I remember losing a massive trip report to Savannakhet when the page just closed on me.  

Lucky for the readers who were spared that one....

[youreavinalaff]

1 hour ago, Stevey said:

Where are you hailing from where you are have such quality conversations? 

The real world.

[NanLaew]

On 4/29/2023 at 12:49 AM, Stevey said:

I never said what you are insinuating I have said.
 

I’m positive Dang has no concept of how he came to be. He has no concept of what a Father is. He just knows that I look after him. And I have never tried to have him call me his Dad as the locals want me to do. 
 

You Mr.Hello are a nasty individual and a knuckle dragger. You know that yourself deep inside. When you typed those laughing emojis in reference to an innocent 5 year old boy who doesn’t have a father you must have been enjoying yourself. I wonder who you are and what you’re about ? This forum attracts some of the nastiest people as does the Bar scene. 
 

Dang is a great kid and I’m gonna do my best to make his life a success like having a father helped me to realise

an enjoyable life. 
 

You really are a turd of a man. 

In case it hasn't been suggested before, you really and truly need to get yourself a blog. I'm not saying there are fewer turds in the blogosphere but they tend not to interrupt one's stream-of-consciousness naratives.

[Stevey]

8 hours ago, freedomnow said:

 

[Stevey]

8 hours ago, freedomnow said:

Lucky for the readers who were spared that one....

 

Oh… don’t yee worry. I re-wrote the whole  Savannakhet trip report again as it was of AN international importance and my information, opinion and comment required dissemination. I had a duty to AN visa runners to publish and it went down a storm with upwards of 5 likes.

[Stevey]

7 hours ago, NanLaew said:

In case it hasn't been suggested before, you really and truly need to get yourself a blog. I'm not saying there are fewer turds in the blogosphere but they tend not to interrupt one's stream-of-consciousness naratives.

I’d like to thank you for those kind words. It’s encouraging to know you enjoy my output

 

????

[Goat]

15 hours ago, Stevey said:

I will address this troll.

 

I am not prepared to put the effort in with the language to the extent of the 5 Mai's etc. and then there is a whole new set of vocabulary with Isaan. No I’m doing ok. A man told me yonks back “ once you grasp the language you will realise that they are talking a load of nothing “ that is correct. 

Up to you if you want to go around frustrated all your life because you can not ask any simple requests.

I dont care. Neither do they. You have overestimated your own importance by a lot.

3 year olds can speak Thai.

 

15 hours ago, Stevey said:

 

I do believe I’m getting a push back from the language experts here. If you have really put that much effort into speaking this language what kind of topics of conversation do you cover with the locals ? 

 

over lunch today with five Thais we were discussing and debating the merits of each of the political parties policies for the upcoming election.

 

 

15 hours ago, Stevey said:

Isaan people are of a different breed to Falangs. I put them in the same category as Zulu tribal people 

 

I am sure Zulus and Thais who choose to live in the UK learn to speak English adequately.

British right?

You struggle to order a tree in a tree shop. it is you, not them.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Goat said:

over lunch today with five Thais we were discussing and debating the merits of each of the political parties policies for the upcoming election.

The guys with the guns and tanks will win the election.

No further discussion necessary. 

[Stevey]

9 hours ago, Goat said:

Up to you if you want to go around frustrated all your life because you can not ask any simple requests.

I dont care. Neither do they. You have overestimated your own importance by a lot.

3 year olds can speak Thai.

 

over lunch today with five Thais we were discussing and debating the merits of each of the political parties policies for the upcoming election.

 

 

I am sure Zulus and Thais who choose to live in the UK learn to speak English adequately.

British right?

You struggle to order a tree in a tree shop. it is you, not them.

Well it’s lovely to make your acquaintance Mr Goat. 
 

Firstly from the rundown of you high level of success in communication with Thais who can speak about politics I’d like to say I’m very impressed. 
 

Unfortunately I have yet to meet any one who could communicate in Thai impressively in the last 15 years of being here. I met an Israeli lady in our neighbouring village over a year ago but she has disappeared now, she could speak Isaan language but not Thai. That’s an interesting story if any one requests it I can avail of it.

 

Oh yes you’re obviously very intelligent. You are aware that humans have differing IQ’s and levels of interest to learn a language? For instance I’m an engineer fixing electrical machines and such. I’m a pretty standard guy. But tonight I held a conversation with the family at a dinner in aid of the girlfriends sisters Husband returning from Taiwan. A mix of Isaan and Thai was spoken and everyone seemed to understand me. And I understood Yai who was Mao Laew. For some reason there is bunch of boys here making out they are Thai  language experts on here trying to say that I and the local’s cannot communicate, I did have a go at entering a discussion on TV a while back. I chimed  in with what I thought was a valid point on a particular discussion in the Thai language section where only a few members hung out. I was just ignored blatantly ignored. It was like turning up at boxing club and being blanked. What a bunch of 8hithouses ????. 
 

The comment about me not being able to order a tree in a garden centre  is referring to when I recently attempted to order a Mango tree. As I think some one @youreavinalaff  mentioned the  “immersion method” Is the method I am doing. That day I was reminded as readers now will also be reminded that you cannot say Mamawang for a Mango. It must be Ma-M’wang มะม่วง or Bak M’wang บักม่วัง in Isaan. It was a long day and sometimes I just start speaking with out thinking. My point was that the owner of the shop had know clue what I was talking about while her worker who had more than the government issue ‘one brain cell‘ looked at her boss and in an exasperated tone blurted ‘ Ma-M’wang !! My point was that there are at least two sections of Thais that can work out by ‘ thinking ‘ like all native speakers of English do when we speak English with a Euro backpacker. If I blankly refused to understand someone speaking English imperfectly I would not of been able to fly around the Northern Sector of the NorthSea working off shore as I did. Understanding some of the accents of West Scotlands and the islands takes some mental agility, minds you as does arriving on a platform in midsummer to get the PLQ HVAC going. 
 

Anyway I digress. Your last point about Zulus and Thais living in the UK being able to speak English adequately. English like a lot of languages is difficult to master perfectly but the beauty of it is that it is easily understood even if you make a mistake on every word attempted. While with Thai you could hold a picture flash card clue up for every word and half would not have a clue. And in Isaan a lot appear to not understand Thai.