American man faces dilemma as Thai girlfriend’s parents demand 1 million baht dowry

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, chuang said:

OP this is not the correct forum, the majority here will tell you not to pay a baht,

the thais are greedy and scammers. etc etc  this is a thai bashing forum....Giving sinsod is thai culture . In India you get marry you dont have to pay a cent whereas the bride will give you a dowry, its their culture.

I suggest you use your head and heart or marry from your own kind.

Most people have their heads up where sun never shines, so do not expect to many understand what you think are right or wrong!

 

First of all, I did not marry a Uni girl, and one of The first thing I did with her mom, was to ask her, what she or the family expected from me, and that was to take good care of her daughter, 100k in show money, 3 but gold, and a piece of land 36k. 

 

We have not done the Thai traditional wedding yet, but will do next year. She already got two bath gold and land and house, and to be true, there will not be any show money either! 

 

Communication is the key

[Jackbenimble]

3 minutes ago, ChrisKC said:

it is not normally mentioned, as it isn't here, that a dowry can only be considered authentic or justified when the daughter is a virgin; a sensitive question to establish such a thing of the girlfriend or the parents for the prospective husband!

 

Marriage traditions have been handed down through many generations. For many years it was more the norm that a girl would be a virgin and thus, the dowry system would be enacted by most prospective couples, bearing in mind that near to 100% of both parties would then have been Thai and as I understand it, it was a token amount to show good faith and even a modest sum would be given back after the marriage ceremony.

 

Now that there are numerous Interracial marriages, it isn't surprising, that certain of the traditions have been diluted in favour of a more mutual understanding of each others culture.

 

The final point from my own personal perspective is that I see dowrys nowadays as a way to extract money mainly from rich Thais or from foreigners. I am not prepared to buy my girl. If she is Thai and we marry in Thailand, I am absolutely OK with a Thai wedding ceremony - that I did 5 years ago!

clown. You went to all that trouble writing a big reply to appear knowledgeable about Thai culture and then blew it all with your closing gambit. You're not "buying" a girl lol. 

[Jackbenimble]

23 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If it's a risk marrying someone that ups the chances of a divorce which are already 50%.

If they want him to buy her and she agrees with that, then she's just not worth it.

get a grip p-lease!! There is always a risk with any relationship! Because there are no guarantees in life. If you want a guarantee go and buy a kettle. So please remove your head from your rear-end and talk some sense. Divorce rates are not 50% either.

[Taboo2]

Any man who pays a dowry needs to have his head examined!  I do not care what culture it is...do not ever, ever, ever pay sinson (unless she is a virgin) or a dowry.

 

More Runs!!!

[Felton Jarvis]

Only the insane will agree to such terms. Kick her to the curb along with her greedy family.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, Jackbenimble said:

get a grip p-lease!! There is always a risk with any relationship! Because there are no guarantees in life. If you want a guarantee go and buy a kettle. So please remove your head from your rear-end and talk some sense. Divorce rates are not 50% either.

Considering you appear to be writing from a position where the sun don't shine, you are taking the mickey.

[Jackbenimble]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Considering you appear to be writing from a position where the sun don't shine, you are taking the mickey.

did you think that up all by yourself? 

[thaibeachlovers]

9 minutes ago, Jackbenimble said:

clown. You went to all that trouble writing a big reply to appear knowledgeable about Thai culture and then blew it all with your closing gambit. You're not "buying" a girl lol. 

If paying money ergo one is buying. Not like it's a present from fondness for the parents.

 

Perhaps you need to look into the origins of sinsod before lecturing others on here.

[quake]

1 minute ago, Taboo2 said:

Any man who pays a dowry needs to have his head examined!  I do not care what culture it is...do not ever, ever, ever pay sinson (unless she is a virgin) or a dowry.

 

More Runs!!!

So you would pay a million baht for a virgin.

That's even more funny. 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, Jackbenimble said:

did you think that up all by yourself? 

No, I got it from you.

[Suphawk]

Where can I meet a nice girl who's whole family tragically died in an accident. No more family drama.

Dealing with inlaws sucks ????

Edited September 14, 2023 by Suphawk

[BenStark]

1 hour ago, SoilSpoil said:

Wow, you are so cool.

Nothing to do with being cool, only some evidence about the kind of desperate idiots that come here to find a wife.

 

Maybe, you're one of them?

[Walker88]

4 minutes ago, Jackbenimble said:

clown. You went to all that trouble writing a big reply to appear knowledgeable about Thai culture and then blew it all with your closing gambit. You're not "buying" a girl lol. 

Yes, you are buying her.

 

Call it 'tradition' of 'cultural' or whatever makes you feel better about it, but the bottom line is you're buying your wife, plus letting the family show off to the rest of the village on your dime. You are being used. You are also letting the family dictate what culture will be at the core of your relationship, and it's not even .1% your culture. All take and no give.

 

If it works for you, great. I prefer an equal relationship.

[thaibeachlovers]

13 minutes ago, Hummin said:

We have not done the Thai traditional wedding yet, but will do next year. She already got two bath gold and land and house, and to be true, there will not be any show money either! 

55555555555555555

With all that gold and property she did well enough not to need sinsod.

Everytime I read a thread like this it cheers me up to remember I didn't buy any land, or build a house for the bothersome wench.

[DjSilver]

Isaan is the lowest status people in Thailand and always try to have their girls marry faranhs. However, due to their low status, they should be paying the farang man to marry their girls. ????

[quake]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

55555555555555555

With all that gold and property she did well enough not to need sinsod.

Everytime I read a thread like this it cheers me up to remember I didn't buy any land, or build a house for the bothersome wench.

Pussy always has a cost on this planet.

don't matter who you are. 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, transam said:

I notice a large number of members reading this thread, do many have bum burps learning about Thai tradition and having to cough up...........????

There is no requirement to cough up. Only the easily fooled fork out large for their non virgin or solo mother.

[Dogmatix]

When you think about it there are some suspicious elements of this thread. Middle class Isaan girl attending university with middle class parents who own a shipping business sounds like a fake background. This kind of family doesn’t really exist in Isaan which is landlocked and not a great location for a shipping business. There are middle class and indeed wealthy families in Isaan but they are all Chinese and neither they or their daughters have much interest in marrying farang, unless he is good for several millions in dowry without bargaining. Even so they much prefer to marry other Chinese.

 

I guess we can find this type of stuff forourselves on Reddit without the need to go through AN.

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, quake said:

Pussy always has a cost on this planet.

don't matter who you are. 

 

True. Western women don't need to be bought from the parents ( though they do need plentiful financial inducements such as diamond rings, jewellery, flowers,  expensive restaurant meals and paid for holidays ). Instead they wait for an excuse to divorce the fool and take him for everything they can get.

[ravip]

8 minutes ago, DjSilver said:

Isaan is the lowest status people in Thailand and always try to have their girls marry faranhs. However, due to their low status, they should be paying the farang man to marry their girls. ????

So all farangs are of a higher status than all of the Isaan people?

 

Edit

In real, if 'status' is important, it is best to find someone of equal status, as exchange of money will NOT change the status in anyway. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ravip

[moe666]

When a friend of mine got married the family but up the money and the jewelry for the parade, he was a poor teacher. They just celebrated there 15 year annivasary, 2 kids and he is now a princaple in a international school in Africa

[bristolgeoff]

From other stories i heard a farang has paid alot more to a family for marriage.Thais may have paid less and some of it is kept  by the parents and others get it all back.The thai family  and culture over this issue will not change and if a farang is involved the price will always be high even if they don,t need the money.

[transam]

12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

There is no requirement to cough up. Only the easily fooled fork out large for their non virgin or solo mother.

Yeh, OK...........

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, transam said:

Yeh, OK...........

I didn't give any money so yeh, no requirement.

[moo moo]

we don't have enough informations because sinsod depends on:

 

1 - age of husband

2 - age of wife

3 - educational level of wife

4 - wife job situation 

5 - was she married before?

6 - does she have kids?

7 - family/wife reputation 

8 - parents social status

 

etc...

 

if she is an uneducated tattooed pattaya witch with 2 kids in issan from an abusive thai husband and alcoholic family then maybe 1000baht is enough for the time they will probably stay together 555

 

but if the guy is 60yo sexpat and she is 23yo stunning beauty who is western educated bangkok girl and who has an mba degree from wharton university, never married, no children with a good reputation and her parents are dean at mahidol/chula university then 1m baht looks more than ok

 

although in the second case it is unlikely to happen ????????????

Edited September 14, 2023 by moo moo

[ravip]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

What is really sad is that many of them were like me and didn't want anything to do with a western woman, but made the mistake of thinking a Thai woman was different.

"... didn't want anything to do with a western woman"

 

I think this is where many make the mistake - ALL western women cannot be bad and ALL Thai women cannot be good.

When a guy says, I don't want anything to do with XXX women, would he be successful with YYY women?

Problem is really NOT on the female side IMHO

[quake]

17 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

True. Western women don't need to be bought from the parents ( though they do need plentiful financial inducements such as diamond rings, jewellery, flowers,  expensive restaurant meals and paid for holidays ). Instead they wait for an excuse to divorce the fool and take him for everything they can get.

Yes, all true.

But there is one difference, the Thai ladies are always up for sex 

even after the worst arguments and stuff that goes on.

Unlike the western ladies, who use sex,  more like a bargaining chip. 

 

 

 

Edited September 14, 2023 by quake

[Hummin]

19 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

55555555555555555

With all that gold and property she did well enough not to need sinsod.

Everytime I read a thread like this it cheers me up to remember I didn't buy any land, or build a house for the bothersome wench.

Yeah, and see what happens? 

 

I invest in my life, and still a little high rent concerning my investment so far. 

 

2000 a day for everything so far. 

 

Car, motorbikes, houses, 12 rai, animals, vegetable, fruits, fish

 

And the good thing for every day I stay, it is getting cheaper rent, and at the end, if we still together, the land will be worth more than the investment all together. 

 

So please laugh all you can ???? I'm laughing with you ????

 

Remember everything is not just black and white, I'm having a great life and a great life with my wife, included her family. 

[ChrisKC]

1 hour ago, transam said:

I notice a large number of members reading this thread, do many have bum burps learning about Thai tradition and having to cough up...........????

You notice them because they think more about the relationships that follow that are far more important than the "getting" married process. Please give advice to the foreigners, not just what is actually (traditionially) only symbolic, but the great number of relationships that will fail; doesn't matter the reason, before they even think about marriage or giving pots of money away, especially in Thailand and where there are significant age gaps between them.

 

In the OP, the girl gets B500,000 and the parents get B500,000 - for "safekeeping" - HaHa! And if the relationship fails he has to say goodbye to that and maybe to half his remaining assets as well. Bad news at the beginning - bad news at the end - but only for the man - now, HE is a real loser! Plenty of stories abound!

 

Would you fall for such a dumb deal??

 

I respect Thai tradition but I won't be a slave to it! I am not a slave to my English traditions either.

[Muzzique]

The Sinsod is recognition to others of how well the parents have brought up their daughter. You should be aware of this when getting married to a Thai girl. They seem to have invested well in her as she is a University student not a bar girl.

 

As they are getting half back then it is only 500k Baht which is a reasonable sum for a young university student. He is within his rights to say no. Times change. If she really loves him then money should not matter.

 

If he is grumbling about this now then God help him when he sees the hands coming into his pocket in the future. I had to beat them away with a stick for the first year..

 

I would say my wife works and has repaid me all of the Sinsod and a lot more on top.

 

 

https://bangkokinvestigators.com/blog/should-i-pay-a-dowry-for-my-thai-wife

 

 

 

 

Edited September 14, 2023 by Muzzique