American man faces dilemma as Thai girlfriend’s parents demand 1 million baht dowry

[Misty]

On 9/17/2023 at 4:01 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't think my country's traditions and moral standing are superior. I do think that they don't have to be observed, and for most people they are not, other than lip service. What woman actually means it when she promises to obey her husband in western marriages these days?

Live together till death do us part- LOL.

Likewise, when in Thailand I chose which traditions to uphold and which to only give lip service to, and which to ignore. Therefore I only gave sinsod I got back, the wai I gave her mother was the last one I ever gave in LOS, and I refused to uphold the tradition of farangs handing over lotasacash to Thai families just because I married one of them.

That my marriage ended was nothing to do with failing to uphold traditions, and all to do with her becoming an unpleasant person to live with.

Seriously do some western marriage vows still include women promising to obey their husbands?  I thought that was already changing about 150 years ago.  As a child, I still remember reading a book by Laura Ingalls Wilder in which that phrase was removed from her marriage vows to husband Almanzo - that was the year 1885.

[Thingamabob]

Very difficult to judge. Might be ok but, on balance, probably not. Anyway, in this case I wonder if the article is genuine.

[mschnittker]

On 9/13/2023 at 8:16 AM, Trippy said:

A million baht will get me literally 1,000 short times, screw marriage.

If you speak some Thai and are allowed entrance in one of the many Thai brothels in Bangkok, a 1,000 Baht note should get you one of their best girls for 90 minutes and "song yang" aka "two ways", one finish oral, one finish on top.  She will require you wear a "meechai" or "raincoat" so the risk from disease is minimized for both you and she.  If you don't know the location of your nearest house of ill repute or ซ่องโสเภณี or "sawng! soh+ peh nee" (literally - brothel prostitutes), ask any taxi driver, they'd be happy to take you, they get a commission.  Even if you miss the falling third tone in ซ่อง (sawng!) the taxi driver will probably catch "soh peh nee" if you say it slowly, hard to mix up with anything else.  Make sure you leer knowingly.  Go in the daytime when customer traffic is low, the proprietors will not want their Thai customers to know they allow "farang" inside their " abattoir de l'amour" (slaughterhouse of love) since they believe the dirty farangs spread disease and of course wear the girls out with their massive girth ????

 

NEVER EVER EVER go on a payday which is the 15th or 30th of the month when ALL Thai are paid, standing room only then, you'd be lucky to be the 10th guy of the night for any of the girls even if they let you in. Maybe the day before pay days is best, you might be welcomed with open arms then but still in the daytime so the Thai customers don't see you. 

[Nick Carter icp]

20 minutes ago, mschnittker said:

If you speak some Thai and are allowed entrance in one  

It may be an idea to delete your post as it could well be against forum rules 

[Ralf001]

On 9/17/2023 at 2:32 PM, Cult of the Sun said:

  Nice people pimp their daughters?   What about them makes them nice?

Without them "nice people" uglies, oldies and fatties would not get laid !

Edited September 18, 2023 by Ralf001

[HuskerDo2]

On 9/13/2023 at 8:19 AM, 1FinickyOne said:

Yes, thankfully nobody will be disappointed with that. 

Other than the parents and also the bride if she's in on the scam.

[HuskerDo2]

Apparently, it really wasn't much of a "dilemma" for the guy as he was thinking with the right "head" and chose to end it. Having parents in law like that would mean a constant sucking of his money into their pockets. I applaud this guy for making a great decision.

[quake]

2 hours ago, mschnittker said:

If you speak some Thai and are allowed entrance in one of the many Thai brothels in Bangkok, a 1,000 Baht note should get you one of their best girls for 90 minutes and "song yang" aka "two ways", one finish oral, one finish on top.  She will require you wear a "meechai" or "raincoat" so the risk from disease is minimized for both you and she.  If you don't know the location of your nearest house of ill repute or ซ่องโสเภณี or "sawng! soh+ peh nee" (literally - brothel prostitutes), ask any taxi driver, they'd be happy to take you, they get a commission.  Even if you miss the falling third tone in ซ่อง (sawng!) the taxi driver will probably catch "soh peh nee" if you say it slowly, hard to mix up with anything else.  Make sure you leer knowingly.  Go in the daytime when customer traffic is low, the proprietors will not want their Thai customers to know they allow "farang" inside their " abattoir de l'amour" (slaughterhouse of love) since they believe the dirty farangs spread disease and of course wear the girls out with their massive girth ????

 

NEVER EVER EVER go on a payday which is the 15th or 30th of the month when ALL Thai are paid, standing room only then, you'd be lucky to be the 10th guy of the night for any of the girls even if they let you in. Maybe the day before pay days is best, you might be welcomed with open arms then but still in the daytime so the Thai customers don't see you. 

3.2.1. 

[MPoll]

20 hours ago, transam said:

So what is a Thai village wedding for....?

In the US you can get married in a civil ceremony just like the marriage registration we did in the Bang Rak district office. The lavish ceremonies are optional in Thailand and the US. It is just one of the many things to be negotiated when planning a marriage anywhere.

[transam]

Just now, MPoll said:

In the US you can get married in a civil ceremony just like the marriage registration we did in the Bang Rak district office. The lavish ceremonies are optional in Thailand and the US. It is just one of the many things to be negotiated when planning a marriage anywhere.

A Thai village wedding has no legality, no certificates, those who cannot afford sin-sod or a real wedding perhaps go down this route, it is perhaps permission to have a leg-over from both family sides.........????

[Jackbenimble]

3 hours ago, transam said:

A Thai village wedding has no legality, no certificates, those who cannot afford sin-sod or a real wedding perhaps go down this route, it is perhaps permission to have a leg-over from both family sides.........????

perhaps.............you've no idea though really. 

[transam]

4 minutes ago, Jackbenimble said:

perhaps.............you've no idea though really. 

I do seminars on the subject Jack, but be nimble...............Soon fully booked...????

[Jackbenimble]

2 minutes ago, transam said:

I do seminars on the subject Jack, but be nimble...............Soon fully booked...????

of course you do. 

[stoutfella]

Point out that in India it works the other way round, so how about adopting the Indian tradition here.

[Artisi]

1 hour ago, Jackbenimble said:

perhaps.............you've no idea though really. 

And you do, or another 5 minutes in Thailand expert ????

[transam]

4 hours ago, Jackbenimble said:

of course you do. 

????

[bignok]

On 9/14/2023 at 5:33 PM, candide said:

Around $28,000. It's peanuts for an American.

Not all. 

[SmartyMarty]

On 9/13/2023 at 7:52 PM, Adumbration said:

Sigh....some guy with a fake account on Reddit posts some fictional click bait story and gets a pathetic 300 replies and now we are expected to chime in on this thread.

 

How utterly depressing the content on this forum has become.

And yet here you are. It clearly worked. 

[MPoll]

I think those of us that have gone through the wedding experience in Thailand will know what is what. When you register your marriage at the district office you will walk out with the official marriage certificate. We did this first before the village ceremony. We also did the registration with the assistance of a law firm.

 

 The village ceremony was about a week later. There were no documents signed or issued at the village ceremony. As for sin sod - that is a very important element of the village ceremony. 
 

What I don’t know is whether anyone has paid a sin sod while only having the district official registration. At our registration sin sod was never mentioned. Maybe some people have a side agreement separate from the registration. 

[Somjot]

 A very interesting thread although saddening sometimes as it shows the huge gap between the two mentalities but also the constant refusal of some people to change their mind, even if they see the written proof that they're wrong.

As I do not wish to start any feud and do not have the intention to patronise anyone, I'll just quote a few interesting posts and comment them:

A million baht will get me literally 1,000 short times.

Possible, but this thread is about marriage, living together, planning a future, starting a family and many more things but not about men paying women to use her body as a <deleted> device for a short period of time.

 

I stick with my own traditions regardless of where I am,

You might not care, how people in your host country think about you but you will miss the best part of your journey: learning about another religion, another mentality, other traditions, other ways of thinking and many more things which would have widened your horizon.

 

You can buy a lot of love and affection in Thailand for 1,000,000 THB

To cite Tony Stark “no amount of money ever bought a second of time” and the same thing can be said about love, affection, and sex.

Using a woman's body as a <deleted> device and going through your typical porn routine, BJ, intercourse in different positions and finally CIM, while she is moaning “I luuuub you so muddd” and thinking about her next Som Tum meal, has not much to do with sex.

It's not more than “assisted masturbation”.

 

golddigers, all Thai people,, all 

more greedy money grubbers trying to take advantage of some a foreigner

Pathetic and typically Thai. All about money,

 

I hear that a lot. In most cases from some western foreigner, who has had a great time with hundreds of women screaming after him like a rock star, who maybe even had a relationship or a marriage with a Thai woman but one day the pink coloured glasses came off.

From then on, they say things like “All Thai people are liars, scammers, thieves and racists, who hate us and all what they want is our money and nothing else.”

A few times I asked: “why are you still here?” which caused confusion, so I specified my question.

“If I would wake up every morning in a country full of liars, scammers, thieves, and racists, all of them having one thing in common: they all hate me. I would get out of that place ASAP. So, one more time: why are you still here?”

Still waiting for an answer.

 

 

Offer 2m cos she's so special, but you need time to sell your house back home ....... bang her for a year, then confess you don't have the money so you'll have to call off the wedding.  

They'll agree cos they're greedy.

 

Wait a minute, I thought THEY are the scammers.

 

Why would anyone pay for an "educated women" as if her knowledge from some Thai university is ever going to be useful to you.

 

Probably not if you're only here for your 1000 short times, but if you start thinking about renting a place, buying a car or even property with all the contracts you have to sign and all the government places where you have to fill out forms, such a person might come in handy - except of course you can read and write Thai.

 

and perhaps he doesn't want to have to "buy" his wife as he has principles.

 

It's disgusting that parents see their daughter as a commodity and are willing to sell her.  I could never sell my daughter.

 

Guys please, even the Thai embassy has been quoted here and they should know - at least much better than us.

You can't buy a person. Period!

Sinsod is just a tradition, a gesture, a thank you for the parents for raising such an angel and maybe a compensation, that from now on she will take care of you and not of her parents.

And there is absolutely no legal obligation to pay!

Getting your panties in a bunch - or was it knickers in a twist? – whatever, will get you nowhere.

In Thailand the person who gets angry and a red face is the one who “lost his face”.

The Asian way would be to turn this problem into an opportunity:

If she really knows you, knows your financial and familiar background (generally spoken to my experience those girls who are really interested in you, your family and your background are those who really love you, while the ones, who are only interested in the next payment, couldn't care less about you) and really has the intention to start a life with you, she will try to trade her parents down or at least agree with them on a huge amount of money which most of it has to be paid back to you after the ceremony.

She will see herself as your partner and every dollar less in your wallet is a dollar less in your common future household.

But if she sees you only as the Walking ATM and her only marital duty being to extract as much money as possible from you in the days to come, she will start this by demanding an outrageous sum.

You see, that Sinsod thing can be quite useful, if you know how. 

Edited September 20, 2023 by Somjot

[RobU]

It's not a dowry

A dowry is paid by the brides family to the husband to hold in escrow for the wife in primitive societies where women are not allowed to inherit. I.e. the closest male relative inherits her husband's wealth and property. The dowry is then used to support the widow. In cases where the man decides to divorce his wife (in those same societies women cannot divorce their husbands) the dowry is used to support the divorced woman. 

This is a corruption of an honourable tradition called SinSod where the wife is adopted into the husbands family  and the wife's family is reimbursed the cost of her upbringing. It is only paid once, if the woman has been married before or has children the it should not be paid

Edited September 21, 2023 by RobU
Typos

[RobU]

One million baht is about £23000 or $28000 which in my estimation is a reasonable amount to charge for her upbringing considering that it costs over £250,000 to raise a child in the UK. Providing she has no children and has not been married before. If she has been married previously or has children then the family is practicing extortion. Since SinSod has already been paid by the family of her first husband.

 

 

[Pumpuynarak]

The parents along with their daughter can just FO AFAIC, how ridiculous.......

[jacko45k]

12 hours ago, RobU said:

One million baht is about £23000 or $28000 which in my estimation is a reasonable amount to charge for her upbringing considering that it costs over £250,000 to raise a child in the UK. Providing she has no children and has not been married before. If she has been married previously or has children then the family is practicing extortion. Since SinSod has already been paid by the family of her first husband.

 

 

But she wasn't raised in the UK?

[EVENKEEL]

On 9/19/2023 at 5:47 PM, bignok said:

Not all. 

Chump change for a wealthy gentleman as myself

[RobU]

1 hour ago, jacko45k said:

But she wasn't raised in the UK?

Exactly, so £25,000 is a reasonable amount for Thailand considering the cheaper cost of living.

[ragpicker]

Forget it.  Other fish in the sea.

[owl sees all]

What's the latest?

 

Did he pay the dosh? Or have it on his toes? (do a runner)

Edited December 7, 2023 by owl sees all

[fondue zoo]

With all respect, is she hot?

 

 

 

[2baht]

On 9/19/2023 at 6:06 AM, Ralf001 said:

Without them "nice people" uglies, oldies and fatties would not get laid !

Rubbish, it's readily available to all for a price!