Foreigner Questions Thai Dowry: Netizens Respond

[DLock]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

There is an easy solution. Don't marry!

That has lot of advantages. 

You can obviously still have a longtime girlfriend. 

 

I must concur with OMF - what possible benefits does getting married provide, over having a long-term girlfriend have for a man?

 

For a woman of limited means, I get it. But for men, it's a trap. 

 

 

[fredwiggy]

3 hours ago, ChaiyaTH said:

No dowry should be given, or a very very subtle one, this one is too much already, if she is 47 years old, was likely married before and even had kids + grand kids already. Only a foreigner would fall for that joke, so it is super funny to see Thais even defending it as not a single Thai guy would be doing that.

 

It is 100% obvious that this is another money marriage from the very start, hence the 4 year online relationship at start too. Now he needs to buy a car and house over time, if not done already, and supply moneess every month, else they gonna kick him out.

You actually described a western marriage also.

[fredwiggy]

43 minutes ago, DLock said:

 

I must concur with OMF - what possible benefits does getting married provide, over having a long-term girlfriend have for a man?

 

For a woman of limited means, I get it. But for men, it's a trap. 

 

 

Perhaps growing old together as a couple, which brings security, trust, comfort, shared times over the years, a bond that dating people will never have, tax breaks, a family if they have kids to share and teach together, safe sex, with no chances of diseases, etc. You can have some of these with a girlfriend, but without a commitment, which a marriage is for those mature enough to understand what it means, people can just walk out easier. And it is much easier to walk because not getting married means no real commitment. I know Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell are still together, but that's a rarity.

[Danderman123]

6 hours ago, itsari said:

His wife has grandchildren and the man has paid a dowry?

I understand that there is no obligation for a dowry when a woman has a previous relationship with children.

I am sure you would not see any Thai males lining up to do the same.

A 47 year old grandmother would throw money at a Thai man.

[Danderman123]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Perhaps growing old together as a couple, which brings security, trust, comfort, shared times over the years, a bond that dating people will never have,

The bond breaks if the money runs out.

 

Not to mention when the 47 year old grandmum announces she cannot boom-boom any more.

[Walker88]

An online relationship with a grandmother far away, who demands a sinsod.....

 

What else could possibly go wrong?

 

Oh yea, she's on the verge of entering menopause.

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, Danderman123 said:

A 47 year old grandmother would throw money at a Thai man.

They aren't that desperate when they're late 40's. They know a Thai man brings them nothing but being used, with no gains. Most have had kids by then and know they will get no help from any locals, as locals don\t usually go with women with children (happens, but not often). Many at that age anywhere aren't that concerned about having sex unless it brings them money,a man to provide for her, as farangs do .

[gomangosteen]

Just now, Walker88 said:

An online relationship with a grandmother far away, who demands a sinsod.....

 

What else could possibly go wrong?

 

Oh yea, she's on the verge of entering menopause.

She was not a grandmother - as per the actual Reddit thread not the double translated and incorrect edition that was in OP.

 

The genuine article stated she had two nieces and one nephew who received gifts several weeks later.

 

The faux outrage continues!

 

[fredwiggy]

3 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

The bond breaks if the money runs out.

 

Not to mention when the 47 year old grandmum announces she cannot boom-boom any more.

Bonds created over years with two mature people don't break but increase. If couples make it many years, they know all about the other person, and if the money somehow runs out, it already had a few times and they've weathered it. People that bond over years are having sex, or have come to an understanding how much they do have, and are fine with it. No reason besides health issues a couple can't have sex into their 80's.

[Walker88]

10 minutes ago, gomangosteen said:

She was not a grandmother - as per the actual Reddit thread not the double translated and incorrect edition that was in OP.

 

The genuine article stated she had two nieces and one nephew who received gifts several weeks later.

 

The faux outrage continues!

 

Well, perhaps I stand corrected, but unless she's a 47-year old virgin, it is my understanding that a sinsod is not required by any sort of 'tradition'.

 

On the other hand, if she is a 47-year old virgin, I smell a movie script or TV sitcom.

[Rampant Rabbit]

gave mine a  slap round the face with a wet haddock, didnt want to spoil her, 18 years  ago, spoiler, both parents  dead at the time, and still dead  now

[hotchilli]

8 hours ago, webfact said:

A foreign man, feeling perplexed, posted online, asking, "Am I stupid to pay a dowry to my Thai wife?

Absolutely yes...

[XB12X]

I have been with my wife for four years. She has never mentioned a dowry. I wouldn't pay one, anyway. It's for Thais.

[Dolf]

6 hours ago, 2baht said:

Oh! How many grandchildren does your wife have???

58

[Modern Coding]

So if I understand right: marriage after 4 years e-dating without meeting in real??

[mudpuppy]

When it comes to "sin-sot" (dowry) for Thai ladies...

 

They get NONE if:

1.  married before

2.  have child/children

3.  worked bar

 

[Crossy]

40 minutes ago, gomangosteen said:

She was not a grandmother - as per the actual Reddit thread not the double translated and incorrect edition that was in OP.

 

The genuine article stated she had two nieces and one nephew who received gifts several weeks later.

 

The faux outrage continues!

 

 

It also says she was divorced, so still no dowry payable.

[Cabradelmar]

Thais pay dowry to Thais all the time. Nothing unusual. In Isaan and Bangkok. In Isaan, the amounts are typically small 50,000 up to 200,000 baht (the higher-end if it's the woman's first marriage, educated and has no kids; and the husband has means). The foreigner paying 500,000 baht and up (I've heard some paying up to 1 million baht) for a divorced woman with kids are the fools. End of the day, it's all a negotiation and part of Thai culture.

[Scouse123]

6 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

What a great choice, a wife with two grandchildren...

 

 

 

Look on the bright side, two i pads to borrow.

[spidermike007]

The dowry is calculated based on how young the woman is, whether or not she's been married, and other factors. If she's 47, if she's been married before, and if she has kids her value is greatly diminished. 230k seems kind of high to me, but to each his own. 

[RandolphGB]

Not a bad price. As long as the woman doesn't have kids already or a previous husband. In which case, the family should be paying him.

[Vibora99]

I would like to know how old you are? Would you find the same woman in your country? How much money would a woman from your country cost you? (if there is no dowry, but you would have to pay her mortgage, the children's school, all her bills) In short: 6500 dollars is not cheap but it is not expensive either) 🤷🏼‍♂️

[RandolphGB]

Not a bad price. As long as the woman doesn't have kids already or a previous husband. In which case, the family should be paying him.

[Vibora99]

I would like to know how old you are? Would you find the same woman in your country? How much money would a woman from your country cost you? (if there is no dowry, but you would have to pay her mortgage, the children's school, all her bills) In short: 6500 dollars is not cheap but it is not expensive either) 🤷🏼‍♂️

[newbee2022]

8 hours ago, webfact said:

 

 

A foreign man, feeling perplexed, posted online, asking, "Am I stupid to pay a dowry to my Thai wife? After getting married, I never saw the money again. And less than a week after the wedding, both my wife's grandchildren received new iPhones and iPads."

 

Married in 2023 to his 47-year-old wife from Isaan, after four years of online courtship, he agreed to pay 300,000 THB but was later negotiated down to 150,000 baht and 80,000 baht worth of gold, reported Daily News.

 

Netizens weighed in, some sympathizing, others suggesting cultural understanding. One commented, "It depends, we Japanese husbands understand dowries. I gave my father-in-law the entire dowry without asking how it would be used."

 

Another advised, "He's not stupid, just forgetful. Nowadays, he must explain to his wife's side that some families don't require dowries."

 

The story sparked a debate about cultural norms and modern expectations, resonating with many facing similar dilemmas.

 

-- ASEAN NOW 2024-04-03

 

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The question is for me hypothetical:

Why to pay dowry to a second hand old woman with 2 children already.

I suppose it was a trolling question. Wasn't it fool's day??😂

[Dolf]

Why marry an oldie?

[rramsey]

230,000 baht for a grandmother! Thais must be laughing themselves silly over this one. Welcome to Thailand's money culture. Expensive lesson.

[wensiensheng]

Stupider than stupid.

 

check back again when you are broke

[rtco]

Never paid one ... wasn't asked.

[Purdey]

A dowry is a normal part of Thai culture. I paid, but my in-laws gave it all back after the ceremony. That's just how nice they are. I don't think you should give anyone money in Thailand and expect to get it back. Why would you feel bad if the grandkids get iPads because you gave the money to the in-laws?

 

You aren't stupid if you gave the money knowing it was a dowry, not a loan.