Foreigner Questions Thai Dowry: Netizens Respond

[thaibeachlovers]

8 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I know how they are here and a country that allows men to get away with making babies and not paying for them much of the time is a country that's failing it's families and women.

I disagree. Thailand is not a nanny state that protects people against everything ( but still can't stop parents beating their kids to death ). IMO they work on the premise that if a female is not prepared to use contraception and gets pregnant, then it's on them and not everyone else.

The word "no" exists in Thai and is a very effective contraceptive.

 

I liked Thailand because it wasn't a nanny state, and IMO if people want a nanny state they should go live in one, and stop trying to change Thailand to some imitation of a western nanny state.

[Skipalongcassidy]

21 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I just did. There are hundreds. It isn't I that needs help but those that are the ones who treat women and children bad. Look around and see what's going on in the world. It starts at home. Fact. Try reading one book on relationships, marriage, cognitive thinking or any others and you'll open your eyes to how people think.

No you didn't... cite means quote... I have read many of the authors that you are supposedly in tune with and have never read where they support   "Majority of men aren't good to their women" as you have falsely claimed... you made it up... your broad brush stroke to paint the "majority of men" as abusive to women is hyperbole at best and an outright lie... maybe in your infinite wisdom you can reread your library and this time pay attention to the facts. 

[fredwiggy]

1 hour ago, Skipalongcassidy said:

No you didn't... cite means quote... I have read many of the authors that you are supposedly in tune with and have never read where they support   "Majority of men aren't good to their women" as you have falsely claimed... you made it up... your broad brush stroke to paint the "majority of men" as abusive to women is hyperbole at best and an outright lie... maybe in your infinite wisdom you can reread your library and this time pay attention to the facts. 

I didn't say the majority of men are abusive to women. You, along with many others, need to read the whole thing written, not nitpick, AND comprehend before you reply. i highly doubt you have read many of the authors of the books I have. It's usually women who are the readers, hoping they can somehow "change" their partners thinking. You can't. It's up to them.

 

Looking at the world through rose colored glasses and sticking up for men in general because you can't understand the bad that surrounds us doesn't help anyone. Again, look at the worlds problems and try to understand where they begin. At home. Absent, and or neglective fathers and mothers, kids raised by someone else with no boundaries or little. Permissive, spoiling parents to shut up their kids to get them to comply.

 

All this turns out to a world run by narcissistic leaders, who's only agenda is power and money, getting as much as they can, promising the world and delivering very little. Try reading the books and seeing what they say. they are there to help people understand and treat each other better. much of the time it doesn't work. Just going to a therapist doesn't guarantee anything because most people don't want to or can't change what they are. their character.

 

From birth to age 5 is the most important time of a persons life, where they learn most of what is really needed in life, and not having parents to do this is why we have so many people and not just men, hurting others intentionally.

 

The majority of men that aren't good to their family leaves millions there that are good to their partners and children. You have no idea what is going on if you think otherwise. People lie, hide themselves, not to lose face. I'm not saying the majority abuses, cheats, lies, or neglects. I'm saying the majority does something wrong to their partners and or children. This could mean not paying attention when the other tries to communicate with them, hitting them when talking would work better, paying them off to shut them up with phones or gifts, to not hear their complaining, Forgetting what your wife is, and how important she should be, taking her for granted after you've had sex for a few years, being a workaholic and never taking time with your family, going out with the boys all the time instead of your wife, looking at her as a slave to bring you everything while you spend most of your time watching sports on TV,along with many other things. People get used to being taken for granted by their partners and think it's normal.

 

Men think they are doing a good job because they pay for everything, all the while their wife complains you never spend any time with me. Why do you think there are thousands of psychiatrists and psychologists worldwide? Because the world is not a pleasant, loving, caring place where everyone gets along. It's a place where most people only look out for themselves and not care about others unless it somehow helps them. There are many people who are good, and they are treated bad by others, and it makes them jaded. It's sad because a lot of people really want to help, and if we had more of these and less narcissistic people who only want to use, the world would be a much better place.

 

Try not to take what I say out of context. I, again, am not saying the majority of men are evil, bad, useless people. Many can change with just a little tweaking, if they want to. Selfishness runs rampant worldwide, and there are many reasons for this. It starts at the top, us electing leaders who only care about power. Even if they start out trying to help, they get caught up in the corruption and power and end up just like the rest, or they get assassinated or dropped because they weren't pleasing the rich crowd enough. I don't make things up. I look at the worlds problems as a whole and se where they start. People have good and bad. Problem is, many have more bad than good, and again, this starts from childhood.

[fredwiggy]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I disagree. Thailand is not a nanny state that protects people against everything ( but still can't stop parents beating their kids to death ). IMO they work on the premise that if a female is not prepared to use contraception and gets pregnant, then it's on them and not everyone else.

The word "no" exists in Thai and is a very effective contraceptive.

 

I liked Thailand because it wasn't a nanny state, and IMO if people want a nanny state they should go live in one, and stop trying to change Thailand to some imitation of a western nanny state.

Thailand is not near a nanny state. It's quite the opposite in many ways. There are laws here that aren't enforced, and people die every day because of it. That's not caring. Your quote " but still can't stop parents beating their kids to death", isn't far from the truth, and that's also something which makes future generations the same. No is a good contraceptive if the man listens. Many rapes happen here because they don't. Here, there and everywhere.

[Skipalongcassidy]

28 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I didn't say the majority of men are abusive to women.   

Yeah you did... read your post... right there it states... and I quote... "the majority of men aren't good to their women"

[daveAustin]

It’s to show everyone that the man is worthy to take their daughter. However, an Isaan gal with grandkids is proper tainted and shouldn’t require anything. Unless she is a stunner in a class family with a good job, the guy is a sucker. The family should be paying the him since he will be looking after them all!

[fredwiggy]

2 hours ago, Skipalongcassidy said:

Yeah you did... read your post... right there it states... and I quote... "the majority of men aren't good to their women"

Not good can mean many things. Not doing their share of the work around the house, not looking at them as an equal partner, putting their friends and hobbies in front of their wives, hitting them, abusive language, cheating, lying, not helping with the children, not providing for the family etc etc. There are levels of good and bad if you didn't realize this. 

[ADog]

Would anyone marry a lady from their own country, if the felt they were getting scammed by her and the family from day 1.

 

FFS why are middle aged people getting married anyway, its not as if they are a pair of virgins about to set off on the voyage of life together. 

 

FFFFS Why would a western man who invariably has some wealth to be able to move to Thailand, want to risk his financial stability for an Isaan granny, no doubt extracted from a bar.

 

 

[Gknrd]

47 year old with grandkids. Probably could have negotiated it down to they pay you 10,000 baht. For the luxury of having a farang in the family. 

And hence "stupid farang" is front and center in the LOS's

[Sig]

 

Hey Skipalongcassidy, Best just skip along and ignore this guy. He's a piece of work. Refuses to admit he communicates poorly and plays games with semantics. Same as when I directly quoted him - "Thai men don't laugh. They just don't marry a woman that's been around. Usually. They'd rather keep on using them and leaving when kids are born. We laugh at what sad "men" they are, running from responsibility." - and he refused to admit that this statement would show that he is denigrating Thai men. And rather than admit that he didn't qualify his statement well and made a horrendous generalization, he says, "you assume I say this about all Thai men. I didn't." and "Just as it is about all men in general." So, not all Thai men, but all men are generally no good, lowdown, filth (to varying degrees of course - and I need to qualify that because you likely didn't realize that there are levels of good and bad. Thankfully, he was good enough to inform us of this.)! 🤣 Maybe that's why there's so many transgenders now? After all, knowing these facts, who would want to be a man, unless they were some sort of psychotic female who wants to identify as a man!?🤪It's like a comedy trying to reason with him. His bloviating about irrelevant tangents is quite nauseating too. A root canal would be more enjoyable.

6 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

9 hours ago, Skipalongcassidy said:

Yeah you did... read your post... right there it states... and I quote... "the majority of men aren't good to their women"

Not good can mean many things. Not doing their share of the work around the house, not looking at them as an equal partner, putting their friends and hobbies in front of their wives, hitting them, abusive language, cheating, lying, not helping with the children, not providing for the family etc etc. There are levels of good and bad if you didn't realize this. 

 

 

[fredwiggy]

1 hour ago, Sig said:

 

Hey Skipalongcassidy, Best just skip along and ignore this guy. He's a piece of work. Refuses to admit he communicates poorly and plays games with semantics. Same as when I directly quoted him - "Thai men don't laugh. They just don't marry a woman that's been around. Usually. They'd rather keep on using them and leaving when kids are born. We laugh at what sad "men" they are, running from responsibility." - and he refused to admit that this statement would show that he is denigrating Thai men. And rather than admit that he didn't qualify his statement well and made a horrendous generalization, he says, "you assume I say this about all Thai men. I didn't." and "Just as it is about all men in general." So, not all Thai men, but all men are generally no good, lowdown, filth (to varying degrees of course - and I need to qualify that because you likely didn't realize that there are levels of good and bad. Thankfully, he was good enough to inform us of this.)! 🤣 Maybe that's why there's so many transgenders now? After all, knowing these facts, who would want to be a man, unless they were some sort of psychotic female who wants to identify as a man!?🤪It's like a comedy trying to reason with him. His bloviating about irrelevant tangents is quite nauseating too. A root canal would be more enjoyable.

 

 

Sig, you still aren't getting it, and you're actually trying to enlist others in your defense because you can't understand what I've said all along is truth. I communicate very well in fact, and this I learned from childhood, being treated well by both parents who taught me love and respect for humans and animals. I also learned more by all that reading I've done over the years.

 

If you can't see what's around you, then you can't blame me because you turn a blind eye to reality. What I've been saying all along is how many people feel about the locals, and also men in general. Ask yourself, why are there many thousands of psychologists, counselors and psychiatrists worldwide? Because we have  communication and relating problems between relationships, be they marital, boyfriend/girlfriend, child to parent or nation to nation.

 

Ever wonder why there are so many problems in the world? Lack of communication, narcissism, depression and other mental illnesses lead the list, and they are either inherited or learned behavior from childhood. Some, like narcissism can't be treated effectively. Some need the person to understand their illness, like depression, to take the next steps to treat it.

 

You've said you know there are bad men around, but none you personally know. You still don't understand that people can hide what they do out of your sight, as you don't live with anyone all the time besides your own family. I think, like I said, you nitpick what I write and concentrate on just one thing instead of looking at the whole post. Like the Thai men don't laugh, they just don't marry one that's been around. You don't realize this is a fact. They usually will not waste their time with a woman who's been married or has children, unlike foreigners.  It doesn't mean never, but most of the time. Nothing is 100%. That doesn't mean I'm denigrating anything. It's a statement of fact, with proof all around us. Do you realize how many single mothers there are here? There's a good reason for that, and I mentioned it before.

 

Before you reply, really try and read what I've said, and understand I don't make things up, but go by what I see, what professionals have seen over many decades, and what they write about, unless of course you think all of their writings are BS, even though they all pretty much say the same things. Look also at what others say here every single day, about what goes on here. Some people have blinders on, some don't care, and some are intentionally hurting others all day long everywhere. This is why the worlds been on a down slide for a long, long time.

[Skipalongcassidy]

18 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Not good can mean many things. Not doing their share of the work around the house, not looking at them as an equal partner, putting their friends and hobbies in front of their wives, hitting them, abusive language, cheating, lying, not helping with the children, not providing for the family etc etc. There are levels of good and bad if you didn't realize this. 

Not withstanding everything that you say... there still is no evidence that "the majority of men are not good to their wives"... not one of your sources says that any of this behavior is in the MAJORITY... in fact it is in the MINORITY... the real world truth is that the majority of men are good to their wives... but nobody would read that headline... go peddle your nonsense somewhere else.

[fredwiggy]

2 hours ago, Skipalongcassidy said:

Not withstanding everything that you say... there still is no evidence that "the majority of men are not good to their wives"... not one of your sources says that any of this behavior is in the MAJORITY... in fact it is in the MINORITY... the real world truth is that the majority of men are good to their wives... but nobody would read that headline... go peddle your nonsense somewhere else.

Like I said, why are there so many thousands of counselors psychologists and psychiatrists the majority of men are good to their partners? Why are there so many problems worldwide? The answer is, it starts at home. People learn most about how the world operates from age 0 to 5. After this, what they've learned becomes facts to them.

 

Almost every world leader has been a narcissist of some type. This is why there are wars, weapons of mass destruction, rapes, murders, basically evil. Control. Men, usually, and sometimes women, trying to control what's around them. This is why there are slaves, more now than ever before. Rapes, more than ever before, increasing violence.

 

Government leaders that really only do their jobs to get elected, then get together with other twisted, like minded people to control others, as slaves in many countries. Sheep to follow and conform but not to ask why, just to obey. Democracy surely helps, if it's in place. Some places people can vote, but the person is not put in. Control by narcissistic predecessors that don't want to lose the money flow.

 

These as history shows, have mostly been men. men who's fathers didn't teach them right from wrong but only control to get the job done. The real truth about couples is only leaked out through what these psychologists, et al say, or by word of mouth, something we can't always trust. They try to get people to relate better, but more often than not, people slip back to their own characters and change becomes hard.

 

Many men want to be better husbands, but were never taught how. Ask yourself, what do women mostly complain about. More money, more time spent with them and not watching sports on TV, more time spent with the children, a vacation every year and other places to go on weekends, a man that puts them first and doesn't look to other women for sex, doesn't hit them when they get angry, call them names, downgrading them.

 

Do you actually think most men are good to anything? If they were, the world wouldn't have this much turmoil, with wars just around the corner is a handful of countries all the time. Dictators killing their own people. People making migrants slaves and sex workers for profit.

 

This is a sick world that needs people to get together and get rid of the violence in society. This means electing leaders with a proven rack record and not just because they are handsome or rich. Having a government that doesn't have infighting, and getting rid of the corruption by jailing those into it. Harsher punishment for human traffickers, rapists and those that hurt children. Better education about sex for children so they don't have kids with morons that won't contribute. A court system that makes fathers responsible for the children they make, like the US and most other countries has. Enforcement of laws already on the book instead of looking the other way for a bribe. Again, this all starts at home, with responsible parents, and fathers that do the job, which many don't. There is plenty of evidence that fathers, and also mothers, aren't doing their jobs. Look around at the world.

[Skipalongcassidy]

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Like I said, why are there so many thousands of counselors psychologists and psychiatrists the majority of men are good to their partners? Why are there so many problems worldwide? The answer is, it starts at home. People learn most about how the world operates from age 0 to 5. After this, what they've learned becomes facts to them.

 

Almost every world leader has been a narcissist of some type. This is why there are wars, weapons of mass destruction, rapes, murders, basically evil. Control. Men, usually, and sometimes women, trying to control what's around them. This is why there are slaves, more now than ever before. Rapes, more than ever before, increasing violence.

 

Government leaders that really only do their jobs to get elected, then get together with other twisted, like minded people to control others, as slaves in many countries. Sheep to follow and conform but not to ask why, just to obey. Democracy surely helps, if it's in place. Some places people can vote, but the person is not put in. Control by narcissistic predecessors that don't want to lose the money flow.

 

These as history shows, have mostly been men. men who's fathers didn't teach them right from wrong but only control to get the job done. The real truth about couples is only leaked out through what these psychologists, et al say, or by word of mouth, something we can't always trust. They try to get people to relate better, but more often than not, people slip back to their own characters and change becomes hard.

 

Many men want to be better husbands, but were never taught how. Ask yourself, what do women mostly complain about. More money, more time spent with them and not watching sports on TV, more time spent with the children, a vacation every year and other places to go on weekends, a man that puts them first and doesn't look to other women for sex, doesn't hit them when they get angry, call them names, downgrading them.

 

Do you actually think most men are good to anything? If they were, the world wouldn't have this much turmoil, with wars just around the corner is a handful of countries all the time. Dictators killing their own people. People making migrants slaves and sex workers for profit.

 

This is a sick world that needs people to get together and get rid of the violence in society. This means electing leaders with a proven rack record and not just because they are handsome or rich. Having a government that doesn't have infighting, and getting rid of the corruption by jailing those into it. Harsher punishment for human traffickers, rapists and those that hurt children. Better education about sex for children so they don't have kids with morons that won't contribute. A court system that makes fathers responsible for the children they make, like the US and most other countries has. Enforcement of laws already on the book instead of looking the other way for a bribe. Again, this all starts at home, with responsible parents, and fathers that do the job, which many don't. There is plenty of evidence that fathers, and also mothers, aren't doing their jobs. Look around at the world.

So you think the world is sick...  there are sick people in the world like you... but all in all the majority are pretty good people.

[FruitPudding]

On 4/3/2024 at 6:30 AM, quake said:

Pussy costs  a packet over the course of a marriage.

way, way more than pay for play ladies.

Why pay extra money up front.

 

But ok to pay if money is returned,  so it was just for show on the big day.

 

I am sure most married guys in Thailand see less pussy that single guys

[quake]

4 minutes ago, FruitPudding said:

 

I am sure most married guys in Thailand see less pussy that single guys

 

Yes, but it's all the other things that cost the real money in a marriage.

I'm down one house, one car, 4 motor bikes, one expensive hobby and a shed load of cash and still counting

TIT. 

 

 

 

[FruitPudding]

13 hours ago, Sig said:

Just as it is about all men in general." So, not all Thai men, but all men are generally no good, lowdown, filth (to varying degrees of course)

 

I dunno why it's Thai men, or men in general, getting a bad rep all the time.

 

I happen to think this about the majority of women here, too.

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, Skipalongcassidy said:

So you think the world is sick...  there are sick people in the world like you... but all in all the majority are pretty good people.

It seems that you respond, like others, without thinking. Why would you think I am sick? I've told you I came from good ,responsible, loving parents. This made me an empath. Look it up, and not the opposite, narcissist, look it up. Narcissists are the bane of society, the root of all evils, and why women are controlled, abused, and then left. This is what they are, and they can't change.

 

I love my girlfriend, and do more for her than anyone ever has, with no control or abuse in any way. I never hit any of my 6 children, preferring to teach them right from wrong instead. I love animals, and have them. I help elderly people any time I can. I don't intentionally hurt anyone nor the environment, something thousands of people do daily. I respect the rules of the road, and do not cut people off.

 

I live here with respect, and follow their culture, even though to me it's way off base as far as a future is concerned and how women are treated. You are as blind as anyone I've come across in all my 67 years. Yes, this world is sick. Do you not know what's going on in so many countries as far as war, famine, trafficking,slavery,bondage, rapes, murders, theft, global warming, gangs and mass shootings? Do you look at the news daily like I have all my life, and see what's going on around you? Rose colored glasses doesn't help. You know nothing about what goes on in households, and the only way I do is reading about this daily for the last 35 years, from those professional doctors of psychology. If you think they are all wrong, look at what's going on in the world. Why is it happening?

 

Because the problem, again, starts at home. Home, where fathers and mothers abuse, neglect or spoil their kids because they were never taught anything else. I never said all people are bad. Every person has good and bad in them, and most don't go overboard, even though they think evil at times. You do, I do, everyone who has ever lived has the potential for violence. God or restraint keeps people from acting out.

 

Before you again respond in an ignorant manner, take a week and look at the world news. Ask yourself, why are there so many murders, many in the name of religion, which is sick itself. Why are women, girls and boys sold in all countries for profit, with officials sometimes helping out? Money and greed for it, narcissism, and other mental illnesses are everywhere. I'm nowhere near a sick person, as I've explained to you and a teenager would understand. I don't make anything up or go by opinions because it means nothing. What's my agenda? I'm not an attention whore like some here. I could care less what people think. Look at my postings and you'll see I'm trying to help others with the knowledge I have in psychology, health, music, diet and more. You very obviously do not know what's going on in this world, and very little to nothing about human psychology, so best you keep your comments to yourself, because you aren't helping and I'm telling it like it is.

[Sig]

2 hours ago, FruitPudding said:

16 hours ago, Sig said:

Just as it is about all men in general." So, not all Thai men, but all men are generally no good, lowdown, filth (to varying degrees of course)

 

I dunno why it's Thai men, or men in general, getting a bad rep all the time.

 

I happen to think this about the majority of women here, too.

Just to be clear, that quote you took from my comment was an encapsulation of a quote from a different member here that I was quoting. I was just highlighting some of his pontificating absurdities as he keeps going off on tangents, writing book length sermons, completely separate from my main point about how he denigrated Thai men. It's the typical deflection to a tangent that losers instinctively do.

[fredwiggy]

52 minutes ago, Sig said:

Just to be clear, that quote you took from my comment was an encapsulation of a quote from a different member here that I was quoting. I was just highlighting some of his pontificating absurdities as he keeps going off on tangents, writing book length sermons, completely separate from my main point about how he denigrated Thai men. It's the typical deflection to a tangent that losers instinctively do.

You must be the most ignorant one on this forum. Again and again I said I wasn't denigrating Thai men by telling things how they actually are. You either are too blind to notice what's going on around you, or are a huge brown noser that doesn't care to see the real side of Thailand but only sees what he wants to. It isn't absurd to point out what's actually going on, and has been for generations.

 

If you need to, you can google anything I've written to see what countless others have noticed for many years here, and telling things as they are isn't forming an opinion but stating what is. All Thai men aren't the same. many are good, especially the farmers who are usually always at or near home, but again, NO ONE knows what people do behind closed doors besides those that live there. The only ways anyone hears anything are by either word of mouth or by the written words of all the psyche doctors, who are the ones who are actually interviewing these people and writing down what they see. And people lie and hide what they are experiencing because of face.

 

I'm sorry you can't understand what is, but again, all anyone needs to do is look around and see what's going on in this world and has been for centuries ad they'll know.Humans are a combination of bad and good, with many having more bad then good, and some plain evil. I'm not writing book length anything. All I am doing is pointing out things that many others have seen and experienced. You said you don't know anyone who is a bad man, and I said that's impossible, because unless you know very few people, you definitely know some that aren't the best of fathers or husbands. They just hide it well.

 

Try calling a person a loser in person so as not to be a coward hiding behind your keyboard. Makes you look weak. You don't know me nor would I want to be in your circles, if this is the way you act when others say things that are easy to see and understand, that many others have already said many times here, and that everyone who lives here has experienced. I'm just pointing out what's been obvious for a very long time, and that you fail to notice. In 25 years you don't personally know anyone who's been bad to their families. It is possible, though extremely unlikely, if you know very few people or don't get out much. Toxic people are everywhere, and again, for the last time, look at what this world has become and has been for a long time, and you'll see what it's made of. Not a paradise by any means.

 

Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy and all like them, plus child molesters, wife beaters, child abusers, and many other types of anti social people all have neighbors, and one might just live next to you, because those kinds get away with their behavior for a long time before they make a mistake. There are millions of good people in the world, those which don't intentionally harm others, but aren't the best of fathers and husbands because they weren't taught right when young. Doesn't mean they're evil, nor would I denigrate them, because we are all good and bad. Those that intentionally harm women and children are the ones I'm talking about, and there are a lot more around then you personally think.You were wrong when you say I'm denigrating Thai men because of the actions of some. You just can't admit this and get past it, but have to call someone a loser because you aren't bright enough to see past your own false beliefs. Your words---So, not all Thai men, but all men are generally no good, lowdown, filth (to varying degrees of course) That's you thinking I said anything about all men, besides that everyone has good and bad in them, human nature, which isn't anywhere near what you think I mean.

 

Pontificating absurdities? Big words are usually used to show ego, something you actually think I'm doing. I'm not making an opinion but telling things how they are. You can't seem to understand what goes on around here,nor in the world, because everyone who watches the news understands. You ,if you aren't a big reader or watcher of psychologists, fail to understand also that you only hear a tiny fraction of what actually goes on in just your province. If they put all the news about human violence on TV, it would be 24/7 daily, every day of the year. What we see just here daily makes one sick, and that's the tip of the iceberg.