Where do gays retire (other than Thailand)?

[AlexRich]

There is a daytime UK Channel 4 show called "Bargain Brits in the Sun", about people born in the UK but living and retiring in Benidorm, Spain.

 

It appears to be a place where drag queens and gays go to retire. The programme is full of them, possibly because they are more entertaining on camera than your average retiree. 

Edited May 29 by AlexRich
Added Spain.

[Jingthing]

22 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

There is a daytime UK Channel 4 show called "Bargain Brits in the Sun", about people born in the UK but living and retiring in Benidorm, Spain.

 

It appears to be a place where drag queens and gays go to retire. The programme is full of them, possibly because they are more entertaining on camera than your average retiree. 

Spain and Mexico appear to be the most popular non US countries covered by Wherr Do Gays Retire.

[Rimmer]

Troll post has been removed

[Jingthing]

Here is what gay seniors want to avoid but very sadly many still fall into circumstances that force them back into the closet in old age. Usually related to inevitably declining health.

 

Can choosing the right location for retirement help prevent that? Yes I think it can help but probably always  short of any kind of foolproof guarantee.

 

In the US SAGE is an organization advocating for gay seniors. I think it would be a plus if moving to a US city if there is an active SAGE group. I know Tucson AZ does.

 

https://www.sageusa.org/news-posts/will-lgbt-retirees-end-up-back-in-the-closet/

 

What does your dream retirement look like? Your life experience living as part of the LGBTQ+ community will likely play a role in where you retire, how much money you have to spend in retirement, and even your healthcare needs as you age. Sadly, homophobia may put a damper on part of your gay retirement plan. It might even drive some part of the community back into the closet as we get older.

 

 

Edited May 29 by Jingthing

[save the frogs]

On 5/28/2024 at 5:57 PM, Jingthing said:

You'd need a car for that.

when are you going to decide?

you've been starting threads like this for how long now? 2 years?

maybe give yourself a deadline to decide.

and let us know.

Gamma even hooked you up with Egypt.

you got all the info you need.

 

[KhunLA]

These 2 got me thinking, what makes living so different for alphabet folks vs non.   Once you or anyone comes out, you pretty much know who your true friends and or accepting family members are.  You avoid the rest.   Why is there a need to even tell people your preferences ?  Most will figure that out fairly easy.

 

Do you only associate with alphabet folks, as that would limit ones living experiences.  Not sure how being gay or bi would affect your healthcare, as docs simply don't care.  Just find a different one if present is a bigot.

 

If all you're doing is hanging out with folks who do nothing in life but talk and protest about the 'struggles' of being gay or bi, then what kind of life is that.  All you're doing is annoying people and bringing attention to yourself.  Besides banging your head against the wall, trying to educate or change their ignorant thinking.

 

If your real life is anything like your posting life here, then I can understand your problem with socializing with new people, or moving out of your present comfort zone.  

 

I rant here when on topic or not, about gov't control, puppeteers, corruption, solar, ev, but I don't go into new folk's home that I meet or a business, hotel or service provider and ask them why they don't have solar, or the delivery MBs aren't electric.

 

How is being gay or bi even known to other folks, unless you're cross dressing.  Using common sense keeps people out of dangerous situations.  You're over thinking and most people could care less, as long as you're not as annoying as you are here on the forum.

 

Not trying to trigger you, just trying to get an idea or how things are.  I dislike a lot of things, but don't go around and point them out in my daily life in hopes of changing people.   I learned long ago that's hopeless.  If on a constant crusade, you're never going to be happy or fell comfortable anywhere.

 

Does mean being a bit anti social, but safer than being constantly confrontational.  Just some thoughts, and hope in real life, you wind it back a bit.

[digbeth]

14 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

Not sure how being gay or bi would affect your healthcare, as docs simply don't care.  Just find a different one if present is a bigot.

 

It's not about doctors, but the law, this is very relevant to retired people who might encounter

if you are not recognized as a husband/partner or even next of kin when your same sex partner is in hospital and requires relatives to make a decision and you don't get to decide what procedure. And no, the hospital won't break the countries law and let what appear to be random 'friend' decide to turn off life support or whatever

[KhunLA]

16 minutes ago, digbeth said:

 

It's not about doctors, but the law, this is very relevant to retired people who might encounter

if you are not recognized as a husband/partner or even next of kin when your same sex partner is in hospital and requires relatives to make a decision and you don't get to decide what procedure. And no, the hospital won't break the countries law and let what appear to be random 'friend' decide to turn off life support or whatever

You do, if they appoint you decision maker for them in such an event.  Only takes a notarized affidavit.  Is planning for things really that hard.  I believe any insurance carrier will even require that info to be noted on the policy.

 

Stop creating situation that don't have to exist when using common sense.  No different than having a will.   Say what ... you don't even have a will drawn up and registered yet ... nuff said.

 

Or even some info in your wallet ... in case not conscious after an oops, like  contact ph #, and your blood type.  What 1st responders look for, instead of just your ID and or insurance card, or cash in your wallet    If you live in TH, you might want to have that in Thai script also.  Just a thought.

 

What, you don't have ... by the time they type your blood, you could be dead.   And here I thought we were all intelligent, responsible for ourselves, mature adults. 

 

Simply common sense things ... not rocket science.

Prepare and plan your life, or let fate take over ... UP2U

[digbeth]

6 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

You do, if they appoint you decision maker for them in such an event.  Only takes a notarized affidavit.  Is planning for things really that hard.  I believe any insurance carrier will even require that info to be noted on the policy.

 

Stop creating situation that don't have to exist when using common sense.  No different than having a will.   Say what ... you don't even have a will drawn up and registered yet ... nuff said.

 

Or even some info in your wallet ... in case not conscious after an oops, like  contact ph #, and your blood type.  What 1st responders look for, instead of just your ID and or insurance card, or cash in your wallet    If you live in TH, you might want to have that in Thai script also.  Just a thought.

 

What, you don't have ... by the time they type your blood, you could be dead.   And here I thought we were all intelligent, responsible for ourselves, mature adults. 

 

Simply common sense things ... not rocket science.

Prepare and plan your life, or let fate take over ... UP2U

 

this is a thread about selecting countries that would make life easy for gay couples, if you can be in counties/state that recognize same-sex marriage, you don't need to appoint anyone, less paperwork to worry about

 

even for appointed medical decision maker, thailand allows and has clear procedure, the Philippines don't and you might have to resort to signing power of attorney before going to the hospital, or adopting your partner

[KhunLA]

3 minutes ago, digbeth said:

 

this is a thread about selecting countries that would make life easy for gay couples, if you can be in counties/state that recognize same-sex marriage, you don't need to appoint anyone, less paperwork to worry about

 

even for appointed medical decision maker, thailand allows and has clear procedure, the Philippines don't and you might have to resort to signing power of attorney before going to the hospital, or adopting your partner

Thanks for pointing out the obvious, and agreeing with me 

 

As they say, 'no plan is a plan to fail'

Simple google 'what country/state recognizes same sex unions'.   Life isn't that hard.  Why do people try to imply it is ?

[Jingthing]

3 hours ago, save the frogs said:

when are you going to decide?

you've been starting threads like this for how long now? 2 years?

maybe give yourself a deadline to decide.

and let us know.

Gamma even hooked you up with Egypt.

you got all the info you need.

 

Sorry but I have posted multiple times that I have no plans to ever leave Thailand.

However I am very interested in Plan B alternatives both in other countries and in the US. Perhaos consider it an odd hobby. So I have nothing to decide really unless events or circumstances push me out of Thailand. For examples a visa change I can't meet or a medical condition that points to needing to use Medicare in the US.

 

I can say most likely places if another country. Mexico or Panama but maybe Cambodia temporarily. 

 

I really don't have a most likely list if I repatriate. The choices in the US at my budget are mostly about picking trade offs.

 

Also the timing would make a difference.  For example if it was ten years from now the choice would probably be different than if it was in the near future.

 

 

Edited May 30 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

For those of you who have visited Wilton Manors in the Ft. Lauderdale area but inland from the beach you probably can see its an unusually great place for LGBT seniors. But only if they can afford it.

So building some low income housing was very welcome but I reckon there are thousands of people who would want to live in each such unit.

 

 

 

Edited May 30 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

As far as seniors not wanting to go back in the closet I think there are two most common scenarios for that and both could apply to both singles and couples.

 

First which is documented in the video in the OP from the founder of Where Do Gays Retire is making the mistake of moving to a place without other LGBT people around in an anti LGBT civil rights political and cultural environment. If your neighbors are largely igorant and hostile and support anti LGBT politicians and laws you might feel pressured to make yourself invisible or even fake what you are to fit in and be safe  That is horrible! Ideally retirement is for enjoyment of your life including feeling free and safe to be who you are.

 

LGBT people know well that coming out of the closet is not a one time thing. The issue comes up throughout life with new people, new places, and new social environments. 

 

Part of that unfortunately is sometimes feeling irs necessary to be closeted either for safety or just to avoid feeling a pariah.

 

The most severe of these forced back into the closet situations are based on my research involved when entering medical care facilities such as nursing homes.

 

If interested you can find a plethora of links about this issue Internationally. It's very real.

 

In the context of this topic  I suppose you could reduce the chance of that happening by living in a more LGBT friendly city in the hope that filtered down to the level of experiences of LGBT people in medical care. Obviously no guarantees. 

 

For those not before aware of this major international.issue for LGBT seniors:

 

Note I will not reply to personal attack flames and hostile heckling and I suggest others just ignore such troll posts as well. 

 

 

Edited May 30 by Jingthing

[PJ71]

3 hours ago, Jingthing said:

Sorry but I have posted multiple times that I have no plans to ever leave Thailand.

However I am very interested in Plan B alternatives both in other countries and in the US.

ugh?

[Jingthing]

7 minutes ago, PJ71 said:

ugh?

Yabba dabba doo!

 

[oldscool]

38 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

As far as seniors not wanting to go back in the closet I think there are two most common scenarios for that and both could apply to both singles and couples.

Full credit it to you for persisting in trying to inform people that lgbtq+ people do have additional issues to consider compared to straight people.

 

Many issues around retirement are common to all people of course, but lgbtq+ people have additional issues too.

[Jingthing]

9 minutes ago, oldscool said:

Full credit it to you for persisting in trying to inform people that lgbtq+ people do have additional issues to consider compared to straight people.

 

Many issues around retirement are common to all people of course, but lgbtq+ people have additional issues too.

You're welcome 

Yes exactly.

The Where Do Gays Retire enterprise.is trying to help fill that niche and apparently are finding resonance and success with that.

For those actively exploring destination options I highly recommended an extensive look at their podcast page to browse the many diverse and often surprising places that they have covered with Interviews of real LGBT retired  people that actually live there.

It's one thing to wonder for example would Ithica be good but to hear a long interview with.a LGBT person who actually lives there is a great resource. 

Edited May 30 by Jingthing

[Baht Simpson]

On 5/28/2024 at 10:06 PM, stoner said:

people should retire where they feel happy and comfortable. 

Which is the main thrust of the podcast.  It's clear that in some countries gay people are not welcome and may face hostility. Hence the discussion.

Edited May 30 by Baht Simpson

[stoner]

1 hour ago, Baht Simpson said:

Which is the main thrust of the podcast.  It's clear that in some countries gay people are not welcome and may face hostility. Hence the discussion.

 

if there are countries that are hostile then maybe don't go there. common sense. 

[Baht Simpson]

3 minutes ago, stoner said:

 

if there are countries that are hostile then maybe don't go there. common sense. 

It's black and white in some counties and not so clear in others. And things change. A few years ago I wouldn't have thought twice about retiring in Malaysia but these days I'm not so sure. 

 

It's only people discussing something. What's your problem with that?

[stoner]

4 minutes ago, Baht Simpson said:

It's black and white in some counties and not so clear in others. And things change. A few years ago I wouldn't have thought twice about retiring in Malaysia but these days I'm not so sure. 

 

It's only people discussing something. What's your problem with that?

 

No problem. The issue arises when the same old tropes are thrown out when it's really not needed.

[Jingthing]

21 minutes ago, stoner said:

 

if there are countries that are hostile then maybe don't go there. common sense. 

It's actually much more granular than that. Different districts in the same city can range from hostile to gayborhoods.

 

I have a great personal example when moving into a house in a non gay neighborhood of San Francisco. Mostly a working class Latino area.

Yes the San Francisco not Frisco Texas.

We were greeted with a housewarming gift.

Someone had painted in huge red letters on the house -- FAGS

In a way I kind of understood their hostility. Gays moving in meant gentrification that would eventually price them out. Ironically we were poorer than the neighbors but eventually the ruinous gentrification did happen.

 

Edited May 30 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

10 minutes ago, Baht Simpson said:

It's black and white in some counties and not so clear in others. And things change. A few years ago I wouldn't have thought twice about retiring in Malaysia but these days I'm not so sure. 

 

It's only people discussing something. What's your problem with that?

I agree about Malaysia. 

I like the country but the anti gay laws have become extreme.

[stoner]

2 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

It's actually much more granular than that. Different districts in the same city can range from hostile to gayborhoods.

 

I have a great personal example when moving into a house in a non gay neighborhood of San Francisco. 

Yes the San Francisco not Frisco Texas.

We were greeted with a housewarming gift.

Someone had painted in huge red letters on the house -- FAGS

 

 

And ? Did anything else come of that incident?

[oldscool]

Hi stoner, yes you're right, but there are 2 types of hostility as far as I can see:

 

1. Institutional hostility. Most of our home countries are good by comparison with  most of the rest of the world on this measurement - recognising same sex marriage etc

 

2. Social or personal hostility. Thailand is one of the best, if not the best place in the world on this measurement.

[Jingthing]

3 minutes ago, oldscool said:

Hi stoner, yes you're right, but there are 2 types of hostility as far as I can see:

 

1. Institutional hostility. Most of our home countries are good by comparison with  most of the rest of the world on this measurement - recognising same sex marriage etc

 

2. Social or personal hostility. Thailand is one of the best, if not the best place in the world on this measurement.

You can't legislate against social homophobia.

[oldscool]

11 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

You can't legislate against social homophobia

Absolutely right.

 

In fact I noticed a pic posted recently by another member, can't remember who, listing the changes over the last few decades, from the first step into decriminalisation (actually that may have been omitted, tellingly) and equal rights, through to pronouns, as if it was a war waged personally against him.

 

The simple truth is that in Thailand social homophobes are in a small minority as far as I can see, except perhaps among expats.

[save the frogs]

<>

Edited May 30 by save the frogs

[Jingthing]

1 minute ago, save the frogs said:

 

If I was American, I might consider Hawaii.

Even though it can be expensive, there are tiny home options available.

Rent-to-own mortgage a tiny home, pay it off in much less time than a normal home, then use savings on rent to travel. 

Maybe Florida or other places have tiny home options as well. 

If you're looking for a gay community, I can't help you there. 

 

https://www.paradisetinyhomes.com/

 

It's not the tiny home, it's the LAND!

[save the frogs]

1 minute ago, Jingthing said:

It's not the tiny home, it's the LAND!

ah, true. forgot about that.