Sexual assault in an international school

[MalcolmB]

55 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Your dad teaching you how to do things to young girls is what's bizarre. At 15, you're too young to be doing anything to a girl at 15, no matter what disturbed consent law says at that age. A father's job is to teach their sons respect for girls and women, by example of how he treats his wife, their mother and not to use but look at them as equals, someone you can date, have a relationship with, become close to, and not for his own pleasure to be tossed aside when he gets "bored" with them, because they are people and not objects.
 

well I think that all depends on the type of girl.

some girls are very promiscuous and some are not.

 

 

55 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

 

thinking women are objects for their pleasure, which they aren't.

 

They are. It is nature.

it is the way it works. 
 

 

55 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

 

When a woman is looked at as inferior, which they aren't, it gives men the idea they can use, abuse and throw them aside, as they do in countries like this one where Buddhism and Islam are practiced.

My dad was not either.

and I think you will find that Christian countries women are the most promiscuous of all. 

 

 

55 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

 

Of course you think it's rubbish if you come from a history where you were taught, while still a child, that girls were to be deceived for your pleasure. 

If you not what you are doing the woman also receives pleasure and are often the instigator in sexual relations.

It sounds like you missed that in your books.

 

 

[brfsa2]

19 hours ago, pedro01 said:

 

This happened last night. The school did not contact me at all. This morning my daughter called me to explain what happened - apparently one of the teachers told her to make the call. 

 

I sent a strongly worded email to the school about it and the "head of secondary" called me 30 mins after sending. Not the headmaster, not the school owner - it only warranted contact from the head of secondary. He had nothing to say at all. He tried to explain why I'd gotten no call about it - like "we were still gathering details" - well how about f*** the details and let me know immediately when my daughter is assaulted. But how cowardly to not call, eh?

 

One lawyer is suggesting criminal action against the school, the students and the parents of those students. They are also suggesting a report to the ministry of education.

 

But how messed up is this? I'll have to take my daughter out of that school to protect her - yet those committing sexual assault get to stay.

 

Best of luck and I have full sympathy, since I also have girls in school.

 

It's really tempting to try to justice with our own hands, seeing our own child getting abused to be traumatized for life is very hard to deal with. 

 

I hear this happens a lot in Thailand and most schools will try everything to hide it. PLEASE do everything you can to make those responsible pay for this. 

 

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

well I think that all depends on the type of girl.

some girls are very promiscuous and some are not.

 

 

They are. It is nature.

it is the way it works. 
 

 

My dad was not either.

and I think you will find that Christian countries women are the most promiscuous of all. 

 

 

If you not what you are doing the woman also receives pleasure and are often the instigator in sexual relations.

It sounds like you missed that in your books.

 

 

Girls become promiscuous because of absent fathers, no one teaching them their own value by loving them for who they are, whereas boys love them for what they are given. When a girl doesn't have a father that talks to them, protects them and teaches them they are worthy of being loved, they look for that missing perfect father and go from one man to another seeking out the impossible.

 

Men who look at women as objects are narcissists that think everyone owes them something, including women. they learn from their parent(s) abuse, neglect or spoiling,  thinking the world owes them for what they went through, and if their mother was overbearing or abusive, they grow up hating females and use them at every opportunity. Christian women ,meaning some, might be promiscuous, but for the reasons before, and not because they are Christian. Women from all religions can be promiscuous or not. Depends on their childhood.

 

If a man loves a woman, he gives out pleasure equally as he receives, no matter what he knows or not. A woman becomes more willing if she is loved, listened to, and looked at as a partner and not an object. Romance should happen all the time,not just when a man wants sex, and if so, a woman will give you all you need. Books teach a lot, but a person has to be a giver first. I don't miss anything in what I give, because I'm whats known as an empath.

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, brfsa2 said:

 

Best of luck and I have full sympathy, since I also have girls in school.

 

It's really tempting to try to justice with our own hands, seeing our own child getting abused to be traumatized for life is very hard to deal with. 

 

I hear this happens a lot in Thailand and most schools will try everything to hide it. PLEASE do everything you can to make those responsible pay for this. 

 

 Exactly. Like I mentioned earlier, this is one main reason I will take my daughter from here, as I don't want to have to retaliate if someone touches her, because it won't end well for them.

[MalcolmB]

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

A woman becomes more willing if she is loved, listened to, and looked at as a partner and not an object.

That is not what Dad told me.

”Treat em mean and keep em keen” tends to get the most out of them.

 

You sound like somebody who has probably gone through a divorce? 
 

[thesetat2013]

19 hours ago, pedro01 said:

 

Haven't contacted the police yet as I'd prefer to let the lawyer do that. Plus - they are still on a school trip. Those buys got sent home but still...l

If the boys were sent home. It means the school acknowledged the problem. This is important because now you can file charges against the school and surely against the boys. I would suggest you first go to one of these agencies that speak for you to the police and use social media to gain support and get the police to take action. Just filing a police report will do nothing. You need support to push them to take action and follow through with charges. Especially if the school was aware of a problem with the boys. You may also be able to use the boys families as they apparently are aware there child has a problem keeping his hands to himself. I just hope for your children's sake they are not outright raped in school. Act quickly before your delay makes more problems. Take your kids out of the school if necessary

[fredwiggy]

15 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

That is not what Dad told me.

”Treat em mean and keep em keen” tends to get the most out of them.

 

You sound like somebody who has probably gone through a divorce? 
 

Treating a woman mean is the mark of a narcissist, looking for their own pleasure. Look it up. I've been through a few divorces because I picked damaged goods. Women who were not raised with love but abuse and neglect, who didn't know how to relate to a normal, loving relationship and who sabotaged it because they couldn't let themselves be treated right, it not being what they saw as children. One, the one here I had a child with, kidnapped our child 4 times and I had to divorce here to get my child returned. She hit me because she was mad at her mother and couldn't take that anger out on her, heaven forbid. She to this day wants us back together,although when trust is gone, and I can't trust a partner, I don't go back. My first marriage was much the same, and I divorced her for much the same reasons, and I got custody of our 3 children. The middle one was hooked on pain killers, and it wrecked her thinking. Her doctors over prescribed her and eventually she died from it. I treat women very well. What I fell in love with was my problem. Other relationships I've had were fine, we usually broke up because of different future plans. The one I'm in now is good. Something to read about absent dads.............https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/absent-fathers-and-sexual-strategies

Edited May 31 by fredwiggy

[MalcolmB]

7 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I've been through a few divorces because I picked damaged goods.

A few?
 

And you are advising me how to treat women?

[fredwiggy]

Just now, MalcolmB said:

A few?
 

And you are advising me how to treat women?

Sure am. Picking the wrong partners happens to almost everyone, until the right match is found. Takes two like minded, communicative, honest, faithful, loving and respectful partners to make a marriage work. Many people come from homes where their parents damaged their thinking, leading to future problems in relationships.

[Celsius]

59 minutes ago, Confuscious said:

This was my daughter learning Aikido/Muay T

 

It looks like she got instructions from Steven Seagal

[MalcolmB]

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Sure am. Picking the wrong partners happens to almost everyone, until the right match is found. Takes two like minded, communicative, honest, faithful, loving and respectful partners to make a marriage work. Many people come from homes where their parents damaged their thinking, leading to future problems in relationships.

Sounds like you were that obsessed with theories you read in books and forgot the one thing that will make sure they like you enough to stay.

 

If a women’s sexual needs are being met they never leave.
If not, they will look elsewhere for those needs to be met.

 

It is that simple

[Sticky Rice Balls]

hmmmm interested to see how this is resolved with the farang/thai cultures......keep us updated...sorry to her about this..

[Celsius]

8 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

If a women’s sexual needs are being met they never leave.
If not, they will look elsewhere for those needs to be met.

 

Is this why you came to Thailand?

 

Every woman back home ran away from you?

[MalcolmB]

6 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

Is this why you came to Thailand?

 

Every woman back home ran away from you?

pretty much.

i am older and quite overweight, but working on it.

[fredwiggy]

1 hour ago, MalcolmB said:

Sounds like you were that obsessed with theories you read in books and forgot the one thing that will make sure they like you enough to stay.

 

If a women’s sexual needs are being met they never leave.
If not, they will look elsewhere for those needs to be met.

 

It is that simple

You, like a lot of others, don't read but skim a person's post, then add your opinion. You obviously haven't a clue about what women need, and i did say need and not want. What is simple is that is a fact. Sex has very little to do with maintaining a relationship but more that sex will happen more if a woman's needs are being met.

 

People cheat although they are getting sex from their partners because they, if they aren't a narcissist that feels they have to conquer and control, are missing something. With a woman this usually equates to a man knowing how to listen to her without making judgements or giving any unwanted advice. With a man, if he is appreciated for taking care of the family, he will continue to give. If both partners are the same as far as treating each other with respect, love, romance, loyalty and protection, sex will happen.

 

I don't go by theories but with what works. I have always had plenty of sex with all of the woman I've been involved with, including my ex wives and now girlfriend. The few things that stop sex happening, if depression is not involved, are anger from not communicating effectively, not being able to meet financial needs, and arguing over them instead of making a plan, looking to others for emotional needs, not putting each other first above all others, and not making one on one time for each other. This is all about communication. You can be the best lover in the world and a woman will not be happy making love with you unless she is heard.

 

A few times, especially in the beginning of a relationship, things are exciting, but after awhile, sex becomes a little routine, unless you add excitement to it by continually using those things a woman needs, plus bringing her to a different place to be together alone,, romancing her throughout the relationship, adding excitement by doing different things. Again, communication is how people stay close. Sex doesn't keep people close if the other things aren't there. Women can fake things very well if they feel not being heard, just to keep the peace.

 

It is not near that simple as you say. People leave for all kinds of reasons, but women rarely will leave a good man even if he's not Don Juan. Happens all the time. But it's because he isn't listening to her. Players get laid all the time, much of the time with married women, because the woman's husband isn't fulfilling her needs for good communication. The woman, being kinda stupid, goes looking for someone to listen to her, and that's all a player needs to do to get sex . Problem is, the player never stays, the woman cheapens herself with a pig, and her marriage is doomed, all because they didn't know how to talk to each other. That's the simple part. Nothing to do with being a good lover.There are untold thousands of nasty, rotten men who aren't good lovers that women will stay with for one reason. Money.

Edited May 31 by fredwiggy

[cardinalblue]

19 hours ago, Lorry said:

To consider: 

How old are the boys ? Are they minors? 

How rich are their families? Richer than you?

Why is this important? So you want to act the Thai way and put your head in the sand b/f people are higher up on the social pecking order? Typical non democratic way of dealing with an issue in a dysfunctional law and order society 

[Chris Daley]

Get the CCTV footage.  There should be a camera on the bus.  And one near the swimming pool area.

 

They are international so you could make a real earner out of this.  But you need proof.  Get the evidence first.

 

Children should be monitored at all times even on a school trip.  So don't accept 'they were hiding and we didn't see them' type of response.

 

 

Edited May 31 by Chris Daley

[Freddy42OZ]

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Sure am. Picking the wrong partners happens to almost everyone, until the right match is found. Takes two like minded, communicative, honest, faithful, loving and respectful partners to make a marriage work. Many people come from homes where their parents damaged their thinking, leading to future problems in relationships.

 

You might have picked the wrong people, but you didn't need to marry them and marrying the wrong type of person more than once shows a distinct lack of judgement.  I wouldn't marry someone until I'd been in a relationship with them for at least a few years, which would be living with them to really know them. 

Sounds like you rushed into marriage every time.

[fredwiggy]

9 minutes ago, Freddy42OZ said:

 

You might have picked the wrong people, but you didn't need to marry them and marrying the wrong type of person more than once shows a distinct lack of judgement.  I wouldn't marry someone until I'd been in a relationship with them for at least a few years, which would be living with them to really know them. 

Sounds like you rushed into marriage every time.

That's what I did. Always a better idea to take more time to get to know them in every way. Love blinds you sometimes, as well as a pretty face. I had children with them, so that's one reason I tried to make things work, but if you're with someone that doesn't want to work with you, or does despicable things, it doesn't help matters.

[Presnock]

20 hours ago, save the frogs said:

https://prachataienglish.com/node/9990

 

In June 2022, it was reported that a 6th-grade student raped a 5th-grade student in a school in Phetchabun. This news triggered criticism on social media, because the school principal told the girl not to tell her parents that she was raped at school since it would damage their reputation and because she would not get pregnant. Thairath Online later reported that the case ended after the boy’s family paid 10,000 baht to the girl’s family, while the principal was transferred to another school.

 

Sexual abuse remains an ongoing problem in Thai schools. According to the Thai Police Central Information Technology Centre , from 2016 to 2021 the police received a total of 12,431 rape complaints. 

 

Orawee Yafu, a social worker at the Hug Project, a non-governmental organization that helps victims of child sexual abuse

 

When sexual abuse occurs in a school, some schools will coordinate with related agencies to help the victims and punish the abusers. Some schools, however, choose to ignore the abuse or penalize the victims instead, such as by expelling them, to maintain the school’s reputation.

 

give the story to the press both here and in your native country...publicity will affect the school and force them to maybe make the criminals pay

[misterphil]

7 hours ago, Denim said:

 

I think Ray Velcora has a good method.

 

To the OP.  One thing you could try is to buy your daughter a spy cam to record the assaults. This would be useful evidence to present to the authorities.

These come in all sorts of styles. Spy pen for example although there are many others. To back this up you can get pocket alarms that emit a really loud noise to attract attention.

 

She should carry pepper spray too. 

[Lorry]

2 hours ago, cardinalblue said:

Why is this important? So you want to act the Thai way and put your head in the sand b/f people are higher up on the social pecking order? Typical non democratic way of dealing with an issue in a dysfunctional law and order society 

We are in Thailand. 

We are not in Kansas anymore.

[Acharn]

2 hours ago, cardinalblue said:

Why is this important? So you want to act the Thai way and put your head in the sand b/f people are higher up on the social pecking order? Typical non democratic way of dealing with an issue in a dysfunctional law and order society 

If they're richer than you they may have very powerful friends. It's not a matter of democracy, it's a matter of having bad things happen to you. I remember a case at an international school, many years ago. One girl (from a very rich family) threatened to kill another girl student (from a less rich family). After a few days of discussion and thought, the threatened girl left the school. Because the danger was real. Very few farangs are likely to run into this problem, but it is foolish to talk about "putting your head in the sand."

[save the frogs]

56 minutes ago, Presnock said:

give the story to the press both here and in your native country...publicity will affect the school and force them to maybe make the criminals pay

might be a good idea to get out of there first because they might try to cause you problems

[Ctkong]

I will make a quick reply to your dilemma without reading other posts. In Thailand, it is better if you know someone in the police force ( higher rank helps) to help. An off duty policeman but still in uniform can casually drop by at your daughter’s school to have an informal talk with the disciplinary master or person in charge about the issue. Make them aware this is just an informal meeting and no police report is made. That he is just helping out an old friend or relative and could the person in charge amiably resolve the issue without getting the police involved?
Of course you would have to make a donation to that policeman for his effort and time. It works for a friend of mine when he brought the police colonel along on his rounds to collect some problematic debts.  Thailand bureaucracy move faster when higher authority gets involved. 

[Dan747]

"OMG"-Move her to another school while taking Legal Action!

[theblether]

This is a Thai issue. Have a senior/respected member of your family or social circle approach the school. They'll sort it out the Thai way. 

 

Now the brutal part - part 1. If you married a bar girl and the most senior member of your family is a cowhand, you're beat. 

 

Now the brutal part - part 2. If, after fathering a child in Thailand and living there for years you don't have a Thai in your life capable of holding their own on your behalf in this situation, that is entirely your fault. 

 

Quite frankly it's absurd that you have turned to a farang forum for advice on this matter. By this point your Thai associates should be circling the wagons. 

 

Sorry to be so brutal and I wish your wee lassie all the best, this must be extremely distressing. 

 

However, the number of times we see farangs boasting on this forum about how they avoid their Thai families, Thai communities etc is appalling. It's times like this you need them, and times like this your truly realise the standard of family you married into. 

[theblether]

2 hours ago, Acharn said:

If they're richer than you they may have very powerful friends. It's not a matter of democracy, it's a matter of having bad things happen to you. I remember a case at an international school, many years ago. One girl (from a very rich family) threatened to kill another girl student (from a less rich family). After a few days of discussion and thought, the threatened girl left the school. Because the danger was real. Very few farangs are likely to run into this problem, but it is foolish to talk about "putting your head in the sand."

 

You are correct. This is why Thais have to sort it out. We all agree that the type of boy that sets out to assault a young girl is vermin. However, if his powerful parents move against you then you have a serious problem. Far too many of you are suggesting using a lawyer as the first step. Are you prepared to pay the consequences of a lawyers letter landing on the wrong door mat? 

 

And I'll point out. There's a well known member of this forum who will not comment on this thread as his life was turned upside down by crossing the wrong Thai. OP, be very careful, or you'll find yourself not only moving schools but relocating altogether. 

 

Implicating a Thai boy as a sexual predator and expecting his parents to accept it? dear me - where angels fear to tread. 

[FruitPudding]

8 hours ago, Confuscious said:

You can propose all the FOREIGNER tricks you want, at the end his daughter will still have to live in Thailand and face the Thai school system.
WITH your lawyer, sueing, etc.
You will make live just more difficult for her.
If she is not able to handle the "molesting" by herself, get her out of Thailand and give her a better education abroad.
A tip: enroll your daughter in a self-defense school.
This was my daughter learning Aikido/Muay Thai.
Not many boys dare to touch her.
 

 

There are some good girls' schools that are an option instead of moving abroad.

 

Maybe she's had enough hardship. Moving abroad isn't easy for a kid.

 

And anyway, aren't there boys in schools abroad too? There's no logic in your post.

[FruitPudding]

39 minutes ago, theblether said:

 

You are correct. This is why Thais have to sort it out

 

So, just ask for a cash compensation then??