How do you survive a visit from the dreaded Thai family?

[nikmar]

17 hours ago, Denim said:

Alternatively get called away on urgent business.

 

I have, on a couple of occasions, gotten a friend to give me an "urgently needed on business" call and make my excuses. Couldnt do it too often as it would be a tad suspicious. 

 

To be fair to the outlaws though, theyre really not so bad. It s just when the ol' fella starts his political rhetoric and everyone starts shouting at each other at the same time!!!

[spidermike007]

46 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How often did you sent away the "perfect girl" because you didn't like her family?

I guess I would also avoid some bad cases of people who are always drunk, always demand money, etc. But it's definitely not easy to find the perfect girl including a good family.

I did not say it was easy. Judging by many of my friends, it is very difficult. I was fortunate. Many are not. But, I really took my time with her. And pushed back alot. 

 

Always remember one very important fact. You are a man. You have as much control as you are able to establish. You set the agenda. Time is always your ally. Not hers. She is almost always going to be in a hurry to make things happen. And lastly, if she is willing to come and stay with a guy she has never met before, she has more than likely been working as a bar girl, in a special massage parlor, or as an escort or freelancer. Very few real "civilians" would move that fast, nor be that forward. Buyer beware. And be good to yourself. Man up. Leave behind the Western ways of emasculation.

[nikmar]

repeat post - apologies

[nikmar]

11 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

So your real personality is the same as your online behaviour!

Absolutely appalling !!

 

just curious George, but do you have a sense of humour at all??

[Will B Good]

4 minutes ago, nikmar said:

 

just curious George, but do you have a sense of humour at all??

 

A few on here have had their sense of humour surgically removed....555

[Hummin]

My family is not a problem, no drinking, no gambling, no asking for money, and they do not expect me to go temples. 

 

When people visit our home, I have my place in one end of our long house, and they stay the kitchen area at the other side of the house. 

[richard_smith237]

I make sure the toilet door lock is malfunctioning…  they get stuck in there for hours !!! 
 

 

Truly though, they are great folks & pop over weekly, often staying over at weekends (even though they only live 30mims away)…  respectful of my space & great grandparents to my son… I’m quite fond of them. I’m viciously mean to my Mother in law which Father in law finds hilarious… (the usual SiL taking the pish out of MiL)…

 

[advancebooking]

Moved 500km away. Best decision ever. Brothers banned from visiting. Parents come sometime

[nikmar]

4 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

great grandparents to my son

 

Actually, that's something I neglected to say in my contribution to this post. My in laws' contribution to my sons life is and has been immense. 

[OneMoreFarang]

25 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Always remember one very important fact. You are a man. You have as much control as you are able to establish. You set the agenda.

That is definitely something many farangs do wrong in Thailand.

If they say yes to everything their darling tells them, then they should not be surprised to end up in a situation which they don't like.

She will always be between you and her family. Will she be more on your side or more on their side? The only way you can influence that is by showing her clearly your limits. If she accepts that, fine. If not, then you better look for someone else. 

[it is what it is]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That is definitely something many farangs do wrong in Thailand.

If they say yes to everything their darling tells them, then they should not be surprised to end up in a situation which they don't like.

She will always be between you and her family. Will she be more on your side or more on their side? The only way you can influence that is by showing her clearly your limits. If she accepts that, fine. If not, then you better look for someone else. 

 

absolutely, it happens back home too, but to a much lesser extent.

[theblether]

It's interesting to see how many sociopaths post on Asean Now. Ejected by their own families, proving why in Thailand. 

 

Very interesting.  

[Will B Good]

Just now, theblether said:

Ejected by their own families, proving why in Thailand. 

 

Oh I see......... proving why 'from their comments on here'.

 

Got it.

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, it is what it is said:

absolutely, it happens back home too, but to a much lesser extent.

 

With my limited experience from "back home" I think that over there many couples try to make decisions together and they compromise.

Here, the question is who the alpha in the relationship is. If the guy doesn't take that role, then she will take it. And when he finally realizes that that happened, then it's too late for him to change that fact in that relationship.

IMHO, if that happens, then say goodby, learn from that, and make sure you don't make the same mistake in the next relationship.

[Denim]

54 minutes ago, nikmar said:

 

To be fair to the outlaws though, theyre really not so bad. It s just when the ol' fella starts his political rhetoric and everyone starts shouting at each other at the same time!!!

 

 

Yes, my current ones are pretty good too. Had 5 of them visit last weekend for mothers day. Son in law , 2  daughters , his MIL and an young employee of his. 5 in all. three of them slept in the living room for two nights and left it spotless. Brought their own food and towels and we just provided futons and pillows etc. Have to say , my son in law is a really nice guy. If he were mine I would be proud of him. Takes good care of his family and regularly sends my fife a couple of thousand baht. This trip he gave wife 3000 , her sister 1000 and wifes 90 year old mum 1000.  He and his wife work hard and have a house and a brand new pick up from their own sweat. Lovely family.

 

My first wifes bunch though.....nightmare. Complete disaster, I shudder at the memories. As bad as it gets.

 

 

[theblether]

7 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

 

Oh I see......... proving why 'from their comments on here'.

 

Got it.

 

It wasn't aimed at you but you seem to be a bit touchy on the matter? 

 

Oh, and this may amaze you but I see these types in real life. Boasting about building 8 foot high walls around their houses, miles away from family to keep them out. It's so anti-Thai culture it's beyond belief. 

 

Then again, it's often those that can't speak a word of Thai and wonder how they eventually lose everything to the uneducated rice farmers daughter. Dumb sociopaths. 

[Will B Good]

2 minutes ago, theblether said:

 

It wasn't aimed at you but you seem to be a bit touchy on the matter? 

 

Oh, and this may amaze you but I see these types in real life. Boasting about building 8 foot high walls around their houses, miles away from family to keep them out. It's so anti-Thai culture it's beyond belief. 

 

Then again, it's often those that can't speak a word of Thai and wonder how they eventually lose everything to the uneducated rice farmers daughter. Dumb sociopaths. 

 

Opposite way around for me......married a girl who bought a farm, land and house...... all with her own money and I now live buckshee.

 

Only drawback is....... it's in Isaan. 

[fredwiggy]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I have a set of ground rules for choosing a life partner, by the second date I want to know about her relationship with her folks, and I will avoid getting seriously involved with somebody who does not have a healthy relationship with their family, and does not have a family which I really like and respect. This is where she came from, this is what she's made of, and if you don't like her family, for me that's a real warning sign. Same applies to your friends. If your friends don't like her, that's another warning sign, listen to it. 

 

I love the occasional visits from her family, I adore her mom and dad, and am quite close to both her sister and her brother. They're all remarkable, hard-working, honest, kind, and really fun people to be around. And her folks did an amazing job of raising her and helping to create a remarkable woman. The finest I have ever known. 

 

Maybe I was very fortunate but I was also very picky, and I took a very very long time to get to know her and her family. It paid off. 

The most important point being a good relationship with her dad. If he's a loving, caring, non abusive dad she will love him, and know how to receive love from a man in her life. She will watch not only how he treats her, but his wife and other women in his life.

 

This time here my ex's dad died a few years before I came into the picture, and I didn't see anything. I did see how her and her mom got along, after I visited here, and it was okay the first couple of times I visited, but appalling the remainder, after I had moved here. 11 kids and neglect and abuse were her childhood days, and this repeated itself in our relationship towards me. This is where a covert narcissist comes from.

[ChrisKC]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I have a set of ground rules for choosing a life partner, by the second date I want to know about her relationship with her folks, and I will avoid getting seriously involved with somebody who does not have a healthy relationship with their family, and does not have a family which I really like and respect. This is where she came from, this is what she's made of, and if you don't like her family, for me that's a real warning sign. Same applies to your friends. If your friends don't like her, that's another warning sign, listen to it. 

 

I love the occasional visits from her family, I adore her mom and dad, and am quite close to both her sister and her brother. They're all remarkable, hard-working, honest, kind, and really fun people to be around. And her folks did an amazing job of raising her and helping to create a remarkable woman. The finest I have ever known. 

 

Maybe I was very fortunate but I was also very picky, and I took a very very long time to get to know her and her family. It paid off. 

An excellent and thoughtful comment to a disrespectful question.

[simon43]

Many years ago I recall having to drive the family (none of them could drive), from Phuket and all the way to Sakhon Nakhon, stopping for a few hours in Bangkok for me to rest.

 

It took about 19 hours and I kept myself awake with copious amounts of M150.  When we finally reached home in the back of Isaan, I was halhucinating after M150 overdose....

[GammaGlobulin]

20 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

The usually 8 hours in the car and 2 hours to look around and burn in the sun then right back in the car again for 8 hours.

 

If it's a Bentley I would go.

 

The best/ONLY way to avoid visits from in-laws is to not get married.

Or, divorce as soon as possible.

Or, live in a faraway country with no nearby airstrip, like South America.

 

Easiest way and cheapest way is to just not get married.

[brianthainess]

Fein illness and take to your bed....................................

[theblether]

2 hours ago, Will B Good said:

 

Opposite way around for me......married a girl who bought a farm, land and house...... all with her own money and I now live buckshee.

 

Only drawback is....... it's in Isaan. 

 

I approve of this outcome. And I'm sorry for your loss. 

 

 

[Irish star]

Minimum  2 Hour Rule , don’t even think about less than two hours from her family 

[Will B Good]

4 minutes ago, Irish star said:

Minimum  2 Hour Rule , don’t even think about less than two hours from her family 

 

 

B******d.....2 mins.

[radiochaser]

On 8/14/2024 at 8:29 PM, Chris Daley said:

They recently did an 18 hour temple run.  The usually 8 hours in the car and 2 hours to look around and burn in the sun then right back in the car again for 8 hours.  I avoided this one by saying I was busy.  It worked well.

 

How about you?  How do you avoid a visit from the Thai family?

I did the temple run one time.   Since then when I am asked if I want to go, like tomorrow Oh, wait, it is tomorrow.  I mean today.  I just say, no, I don't want to go. 

[radiochaser]

8 hours ago, Will B Good said:

 

A few on here have had their sense of humour surgically removed....555

Stop posting about my Thai wife.  

 

And she doesn't have anything to do with these forums, Only I do.  

[wombat]

On 8/14/2024 at 8:29 PM, Chris Daley said:

 

 

How about you? 

Stoned.

[OJAS]

No probs in surviving visits from my Thai family. But when it comes to surviving occasional visits to Thailand from members of my dreaded British family plus their pals, well that's a different matter altogether!🤬

[rumak]

On 8/15/2024 at 1:04 PM, spidermike007 said:

I have a set of ground rules for choosing a life partner, by the second date I want to know about her relationship with her folks, and I will avoid getting seriously involved with somebody who does not have a healthy relationship with their family, and does not have a family which I really like and respect. This is where she came from, this is what she's made of, and if you don't like her family, for me that's a real warning sign. Same applies to your friends. If your friends don't like her, that's another warning sign, listen to it. 

 

I love the occasional visits from her family, I adore her mom and dad, and am quite close to both her sister and her brother. They're all remarkable, hard-working, honest, kind, and really fun people to be around. And her folks did an amazing job of raising her and helping to create a remarkable woman. The finest I have ever known. 

 

Maybe I was very fortunate but I was also very picky, and I took a very very long time to get to know her and her family. It paid off. 

 

Ideally,  that is a good recipe to follow .  ( but seriously... this is AseanNow forum 🙄).

I came to Thailand when the few travelers roaming around lived by their wits , not always successfully to be honest .  There were no guidebooks and internet experts to show the way .   Sooooo.   I learned the old fashioned way , and there is no substitute for experience (as the saying goes) .  

I have the thrills, the scars,  the scratched car, the banged on door at 2 in the morning, the live=ins that lasted various time periods,  the lies, ..... but also the cycle trips on unknown dirt roads through the mountains,  the small towns with no english and me with little Thai ,  the giggling and oogling villagers,  the drunk nights at all types of venues.  And many "invigorating"  short encounters (not just sexual )  , but just riding down the road to be met with a big smile as a real cutie passed .  ok ok  that was long ago  haha.

But....... eventually my number came up .  Found one that didn't change from the original "promotion"  stage.  In fact exceeded my expectations.  And, my luck was...... I was too old by that time to let the little brain drag me away from a good thing .