50,000 baht request from Thai long time friend.

[brianthainess]

A 'friend' of mine has been asked to lend a 50k to a Thai lady who he has known for 18 yrs, Her Falang 'husband' only a temple wedding, has just died, he was no friend of my friend, in fact he disliked the guy for various reasons. She wants the money to pay back the cost of his ceremony, until the insurance pay out, this bloke has not left any money for her, and the icing on top of the cake is that he was a VISA AGENT ! with a contact at an IO that I won't mention, so making a living illegally here, I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ? what would you do ?

[Yellowtail]

Not sure what your "friend's" financial situation is, but if I had a longtime friend that was left penniless when her a-hole husband died, and she wanted to borrow B50K, I would just gift her the money. 

 

That said, if I were living hand to mouth, I would just give her what I could. 

 

Never loan friends money. 

 

 

[brianthainess]

1 minute ago, Yellowtail said:

Not sure what your "friend's" financial situation is, but if I had a longtime friend that was left penniless when her a-hole husband died, and she wanted to borrow B50K, I would just gift her the money. 

 

That said, if I were living hand to mouth, I would just give her what I could. 

 

Never loan friends money. 

 

 

He had/has more money than my 'Friend' and has family overseas, my friend is also self funded for health, he might need his money sooner. How long does an insurance take to pay out on death ? In my opinion she shouldn't have spent so much on the ceremony, plus the fact his car is registered in her Daughters name, but she doesn't want to sell it.

[2baht]

Just Say No!!!

[norsurin]

18 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

A 'friend' of mine has been asked to lend a 50k to a Thai lady who he has known for 18 yrs, Her Falang 'husband' only a temple wedding, has just died, he was no friend of my friend, in fact he disliked the guy for various reasons. She wants the money to pay back the cost of his ceremony, until the insurance pay out, this bloke has not left any money for her, and the icing on top of the cake is that he was a VISA AGENT ! with a contact at an IO that I won't mention, so making a living illegally here, I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ? what would you do ?

I agree..dont let her lend any money..she will never pay back.I let a lady lend 500 baht and she said she would pay back the next day it took 8 months.I didnt need it back but after her daughter get married she get sinsod 80.000 baht and didnt care.She bougth a motorcycle and other stuff instead of pay me.

[tomazbodner]

Given I went through ceremony to learn what a money making machine temples are, she actually needs that. However if guy was relatively popular, she would get that back from donations of people who come for funeral. I've loaned people money with absolutely no expectation of ever getting it back. And in most cases that expectation came through...

 

So I'd rather say it that way - if you can afford to give 50k without any expectation to get it back, then do. If you can't afford to lose that, then don't. Or offer part of it, as you're probably not the only one being asked to help.

[The Fugitive]

My Thai Mrs 'loaned' 150,000 baht to a Thai female friend who wasn't able to pay for her falang husbands funeral. He had drunk his savings and was living (or rather drinking) from day to day on his pension. His stomach and liver were destroyed. I don't know if the lady repaid her or not but the reason was genuine so I have sympathy.

[brianthainess]

1 minute ago, tomazbodner said:

However if guy was relatively popular, she would get that back from donations of people who come for funeral.

Well they didn't donate hence her request. He was popular with his customers as an agent but that is it.

[simon43]

I would give what you can, but as a gift, not a loan. When my Thai niece died a few years ago, her p*ss-poor family had no funds for the funeral.  I gave what I could (about 30,000 baht) and they were able to have a simple Buddhist funeral. 

 

I would normally never give my little hard-earned cash, but sometimes you need to have sympathy...

[brianthainess]

2 minutes ago, The Fugitive said:

My Thai Mrs 'loaned' 150,000 baht to a Thai female friend who wasn't able to pay for her falang husbands funeral. He had drunk his savings and was living (or rather drinking) from day to day on his pension. His stomach and liver were destroyed. I don't know if the lady repaid her or not but the reason was genuine so I have sympathy.

Much the same as this bloke, although he gave that up once he had heart problems, plus he was very overweight, as for a pension I do not know but his income was as a visa agent.

[Yellowtail]

6 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

He had/has more money than my 'Friend' and has family overseas, my friend is also self funded for health, he might need his money sooner. How long does an insurance take to pay out on death ? In my opinion she shouldn't have spent so much on the ceremony, plus the fact his car is registered in her Daughters name, but she doesn't want to sell it.

One having more than another means nothing, he can either afford to give her the money and not be concerned about getting the money back, or he can't. 

 

Yes, the woman should have made better life choices, but she didn't. It's irreverent. She is either a friend worth giving the money to, or she is not. 

 

The insurance may or may not pay, and it will take as long as it takes. He should not give the money with any expectation that he will ever get the money back. 

 

[brianthainess]

2 minutes ago, simon43 said:

I would give what you can, but as a gift, not a loan. When my Thai niece died a few years ago, her p*ss-poor family had no funds for the funeral.  I gave what I could (about 30,000 baht) and they were able to have a simple Buddhist funeral. 

 

I would normally never give my little hard-earned cash, but sometimes you need to have sympathy...

I do have sympathy but, he and her brought it upon themselves, if it was my own/wife's family member then maybe I would . Had he married her legally at an Amphur then she would be entitled to his money.

[Yellowtail]

If I died tomorrow, I know that every Thai friend that I have would be at my funeral and help my surviving family any way they could. 

 

Funerals are not for the dead, they are for the living. 

[connda]

Assume the 50K to be a gift and not a loan.  Do you homework and determine the veracity of the situation.  If you're a generous type, give what you can and don't expect anything in return.  Otherwise - respectfully decline. 

[Yellowtail]

1 minute ago, brianthainess said:

I do have sympathy but, he and her brought it upon themselves, if it was my own/wife's family member then maybe I would . Had he married her legally at an Amphur then she would be entitled to his money.

Again, she's either a friend or she is not. If she was smart, she likely would not have married an a-hole. 

[Banana7]

I learned a longtime ago, do not lend money to friends if you expect it to be returned. It's the fastest way to lose a friend. Just say I don't have money to lend/loan. If there is a good reason to borrow money, the bank has lots, and they will loan it, providing there is a good reason and a high probability of payback. They may also want some collateral. Re-direct to professional money lenders.

[connda]

By the way.  A coffin cost 500 to 1000 THB. 
The "ceremony" is a a donation to the monks who chant.
Then maybe 5000 to cover the cost of burning the body.

It can be done for under 10K. 
 

[MalcolmB]

Thai long time friend.

 

Funny how Bar English becomes normal in Thailand.

i would have used the term “old friend” or perhaps even “long term friend”. 
 

Where did they meet?

 

 

 

 

[MalcolmB]

4 minutes ago, Banana7 said:

I learned a longtime ago, do not lend money to friends if you expect it to be returned. It's the fastest way to lose a friend. Just say I don't have money to lend/loan. 

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

[actonion]

I loaaned a long time friend money, 60,000b, but had to ask many times before it was returned, 2 years later  the same bloke asked again,  I refused, I have'nt seen  him since that was 4 years ago, not so much a friend, more  a user

[brianthainess]

Just now, Yellowtail said:

If I died tomorrow, I know that every Thai friend that I have would be at my funeral and help my surviving family any way they could. 

 

Funerals are not for the dead, they are for the living. 

My wife pays into a village fund for not only her cremation but mine also, also has 2 cars in my name which she would be able to sell, and substantial money in my bank, once Probate has gone through, any money I give away now, would be less for her, on my demise and less for my hospital bills. She deservers my money more than some Agents wife IMO.

[Yellowtail]

1 minute ago, MalcolmB said:

Thai long time friend.

 

Funny how Bar English becomes normal in Thailand.

i would have used the term “old friend” or perhaps even “long term friend”. 
 

Where did they meet?

 

 

 

 

I would say longtime friend about someone that is someone I am still in contact with. 

 

I would say old friend about someone in my past. 

 

Maybe it's a US/UK thing. 

 

What difference does it make? Did you want to talk smack about a death man's wife? 

[Hamus Yaigh]

51 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ?

Yes, with friends like that who needs enemies as they say. When this persons friend of 18 years asks for money out of the blue, they have just lost that friendship. Your buddy needs to find a new friend who is more respectful.

[Yellowtail]

5 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

My wife pays into a village fund for not only her cremation but mine also, also has 2 cars in my name which she would be able to sell, and substantial money in my bank, once Probate has gone through, any money I give away now, would be less for her, on my demise and less for my hospital bills. She deservers my money more than some Agents wife IMO.

If you already knew, why ask? I would not leave my wife wanting to help a friend. 

[Yellowtail]

I guess I'm not clear on what a friend is. 

[Olmate]

Here is an other view, good xarmy vet oz mate died suddenly 12 mths back,his GF spent her last 100kbht taking care of hospital, billrelease of body, notifying  relatives,  Oz embassy, police clearances etc, body to bangkok oz embassy.thewhole deal by herself then.Finally a small cremation  at temple.20kbht.She was not in his will, his family were and so she got from them sfa.noreimbursement, nought.! local friends and family pitched in what they could.

[MalcolmB]

I have lent money to friends in the past and borrowed money from friends also.

 

If you want to be sure that a Thai will pay you back get them to put your name on the back of a Land Title, registered at the land Office. It is known as a Guy Fark.

If they don’t pay you are entitled to sell the land without going to court.

If you use the weaker Jumnong way you will have to go to court to sell the land.

 

Guy Fark is more secure.

[brianthainess]

7 minutes ago, connda said:

Assume the 50K to be a gift and not a loan.  Do you homework and determine the veracity of the situation.  If you're a generous type, give what you can and don't expect anything in return.  Otherwise - respectfully decline. 

Not only that but once all this is done and dusted, she is moving far away back to her home town (where the cremation was) . It's a Red Buzzer from me.

[Yellowtail]

Just now, brianthainess said:

Not only that but once all this is done and dusted, she is moving far away back to her home town (where the cremation was) . It's a Red Buzzer from me.

Yeah, ef her, I would not give her a satang 

[brianthainess]

5 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

I have lent money to friends in the past and borrowed money from friends also.

 

If you want to be sure that a Thai will pay you back get them to put your name on the back of a Land Title, registered at the land Office. It is known as a Guy Fark.

If they don’t pay you are entitled to sell the land without going to court.

If you use the weaker Jumnong way you will have to go to court to sell the land.

 

Guy Fark is more secure.

Oh yeh I forgot to mention she has 2 land titles and 2 houses, the last on has just been finished, paid for by this Agent. So he was getting a good income.