Having kids when old

[Celsius]

I am starting to think that maybe for a man it is a good idea to have kids in late 60's early 70's.

 

You get to spend your hard earned money on them without a care in the world. You get to see them when they are the cutest. They will keep your brain active because you want to be there for them and teach them new things. Hopefully you croak once they reach 15 years of age so the chances of them giving you heart attack or dementia at that age are low. 

 

I'm 51, so still got some time to think about it, but I think that's the way to go.

 

 

[KannikaP]

I had two sons in 88 and 92 when I was 41 & 45. As I had a business, I never saw much of them, leaving it all to the Mrs. We got divorced and the new hubby wasn't very good.

They both now have successful musical careers in Dubai

Now I have a 4 year old step-grandson, from my Thai GFs daughter, and can devote so much time to him, he is very good at English, arithmetic and is a lovely boy. 

Edited 2 hours ago by KannikaP

[mokwit]

3 minutes ago, Celsius said:

I am starting to think that maybe for a man it is a good idea to have kids in late 60's early 70's.

 

You get to spend your hard earned money on them without a care in the world. You get to see them when they are the cutest. They will keep your brain active because you want to be there for them and teach them new things. Hopefully you croak once they reach 15 years of age so the chances of them giving you heart attack or dementia at that age are low. 

 

I'm 51, so still got some time to think about it, but I think that's the way to go.

 

 

The chances of them being autistic are high and they will likely experience the wrench of the death of a parent while still a child/young.

 

Stop with the thinking only about yourself and start thinking about the consequences for the children.

[Celsius]

2 minutes ago, mokwit said:

The chances of them being autistic are high and they will likely experience the wrench of the death of a parent while still a child/young.

 

Stop with the thinking only about yourself and start thinking about the consequences for the children.

 

 

Did you just make this up?

[mokwit]

4 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

 

Did you just make this up?

No, the risk of autism and other issues increases with age of a male fathering children.

[richard_smith237]

2 minutes ago, mokwit said:

The chances of them being autistic are high and they will likely experience the wrench of the death of a parent while still a child/young.

 

Stop with the thinking only about yourself and start thinking about the consequences for the children.

 

If concerned, tests can be carried out and choices can be made early on in a pregnancy (ignoring all moral issues of course so as not to side track the Ops points).

 

Valid comments:

- Older, wealthier, have more time, can offer more mature support.

- Younger, more energy, but likely to be at work more etc

 

I don't think either idea is wrong unless wanting a child in the 70's purely for 'keeping me active' reasons, like some sort of gym membership.

 

Ultimately, anyone considering such options should be concerned as to how well they can provide a healthy and balance up bringing.

Its the same as the argument for 'gay parents' etc... 

 

There is a 'whole spectrum of situations' and I don't think being a 70 year old father is so far out of the 'spectrum of parenting' when there are other kids without parents at all, or some have a terrible up bringing. 

 

The issue here of course is choice - My Wife and I (both in our later 40's now) would love another child, but its just not practical... its too late already (from a personal perspective).

 

But, if an older chappy has the energy and knows he'll sill have the energy when the child is deep into their teens, if he has the finances and can offer great parenting - they I don't see why not.

 

There's already too much shyit in this world to draw judgement on someone older who wishes to be a parent again - but I would judge those who do so without consideration for the child's future and well being. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[scubascuba3]

Last thing I'd want to do in bring up kids in 50s 60s or 70s

[Celsius]

5 minutes ago, mokwit said:

No, the risk of autism and other issues increases with age of a male fathering children.

 

Not if you pay up

[richard_smith237]

Just now, mokwit said:

No, the risk of autism and other issues increases with age of a male fathering children.

 

This is true - there is a elevated risk for Autism in children fathered by an older male, even more so for an older female. 

 

The other facet of this is...  'what kind of woman' is a Male of 70 years old going to be fathering a child too - Where as a above (earlier post) I commented on not passing judgement.... I also pointed out taking the childs wellbeing into consideration - After the older father pops his cloggs, what resources are available for the remaining single parent. 

Additionally, there is an elevated likelihood on the child being fatherless at an earlier age. 

 

 

 

 

[KannikaP]

1 hour ago, mokwit said:

No, the risk of autism and other issues increases with age of a male fathering children.

Link, proof please.

[KannikaP]

57 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

After the older father pops his cloggs, what resources are available for the remaining single parent. 

In my case, my retirement money, investments and savings go to my Mrs & his Mum.

[mokwit]

4 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

Link, proof please.

It's not difficult to find.

 

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-e&q=autism+age+of+parents

[Hanaguma]

IMHO, before 30 is the way to go. My son was born when I was 29 and his mother was 25.  Now, he is 28 and a new father. So I get to enjoy my retirement years spoiling my grandson. Not worrying about paying college tuition for my own kids.  Basically, my wife and I can live a carefree life.  Another bonus is that the great-grandparents can see their great grandson! They are in their late 70s and still active. What a great gift for their later years. 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, mokwit said:

The chances of them being autistic are high and they will likely experience the wrench of the death of a parent while still a child/young.

Had my first 2 in my early 30s, another 2 in my early 40s, and another one at 53.

They are all physically and mentally fine ......... now I'm 68 and my youngest just turned 13.

 

Didn't see much of the first 4 as too busy working.

I'm around for my youngest 24/7.

Edited 54 minutes ago by BritManToo

[richard_smith237]

15 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

1 hour ago, mokwit said:

No, the risk of autism and other issues increases with age of a male fathering children.

Link, proof please.

 

Plenty of info out there on this... its not hard to google... 

 

https://www.thetransmitter.org/spectrum/link-parental-age-autism-explained/

https://www.verywellhealth.com/older-parents-and-autism-risk-for-child-5199211\

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7396152/

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/oct/22/the-perils-of-putting-off-fatherhood-why-it-poses-risks-to-childrens-physical-and-mental-health

 

That was from a 10 second google search.

[brianthainess]

A kid growing up with an old parent who will be considered as exactly that, Old and out of touch with the real world, IMO it's not fair on the child, will you have the energy to run around and play say footy with it, in a few years ?, then the possibility that you will die when the child is still young, it's just not fair IMO on the child. 

[fredwiggy]

2 hours ago, mokwit said:

The chances of them being autistic are high and they will likely experience the wrench of the death of a parent while still a child/young.

 

Stop with the thinking only about yourself and start thinking about the consequences for the children.

'm thinking it's actually better to be a good father at any age than being absent when the children are young, age 0-5, which are the most important ages a child goes through, learning most of what they need to know. I'm actually still in Thailand, only because I'm waiting for the right time to re-establish back in the US with her. We had her when I was 60, 68 now, and still in good health. Of course I hope to live long enough to see her independent in the world at 20 or more. Many fathers don't give a rats ass about their children, and leave raising up to the mothers or grandmas, especially here, which isn't a good thing for any child, so a father in a child's life is very important, especially in those formative years.

[fredwiggy]

31 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

A kid growing up with an old parent who will be considered as exactly that, Old and out of touch with the real world, IMO it's not fair on the child, will you have the energy to run around and play say footy with it, in a few years ?, then the possibility that you will die when the child is still young, it's just not fair IMO on the child. 

Why are older parents out of touch with the real world? I would think the older you are, the wiser you are, especially if you're an intelligent person to start with. Parenting and raising children has no age limit, and it doesn't matter what's going on in the world as far as raising your kids with respect, morals, and a caring attitude are concerned. Playing with your kids is fine, but the most important things are providing, discipline, teaching morals, right from wrong, respect for elders, animals and others in general, and showing them how you treat others around you, especially their mom. Better to give 10 good years to your kids than being absent like millions of fathers are.

[fredwiggy]

2 hours ago, mokwit said:

No, the risk of autism and other issues increases with age of a male fathering children.

The chances of a child having autism have increased worldwide but not because of age of a parent. 1 in 36 born now has autism, up from 1 in 44 not too long before. There are studies going on now , trying to figure out a cause for this.

[patman30]

44 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

A kid growing up with an old parent who will be considered as exactly that, Old and out of touch with the real world, IMO it's not fair on the child, will you have the energy to run around and play say footy with it, in a few years ?, then the possibility that you will die when the child is still young, it's just not fair IMO on the child. 

young parents, do not have a good understanding of the world, they are also usually too busy working and trying to socialize to actually raise their children and sub that out to the state which well.... you can see the state of young adults today.