The Final Contest

[Axel]

It's the 2004 Presidential election that's too close to call with Alaska

tied in popular vote.

Neither bush nor Kerry have enough votes to win the election.

Therefore, it's decided that there should be an ice fishing contest

between the two candidates to determine the final winner.

There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc.,

but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle

things.

The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.

After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest

would take place on a remote and frozen lake in Alaska.

There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent

out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for

counting and verification.

At the end of the first day, John Kerry returns to the starting line and he

has 10 fish.

Soon, George Bush returns and has zero fish.

Well, Republicans assume he is just having another bad hair day

or something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day Kerry comes in with 20 fish and

Bush again comes in with none.

That evening, Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney get together secretly

with Bush and say, "We think John Kerry is a lowlife, cheatin'

son-of-a-gun.

We want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing.

Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way".

The next night (after John Kerry comes back with 50 fish),

Rice says to Bush, "Well, what about it, is John Kerry cheatin'?"

Bush replies, "He sure is, Condoleezza, he's cutting holes in the ice".