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Over 50 and Feeling the Frustration


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24 minutes ago, SoCal1990 said:


I’ve read through a number of your exchanges with other members, and most of them are never-ending pissing matches that go nowhere, particularly on topics related to women and the sexual activity of older men in Thailand—subjects that seem to dominate your interest and focus. It also strikes me that you post about these topics so frequently, despite giving the impression of being younger than others and having a well-educated wife from a good background—a partner you describe as financially independent, with whom you share a great sex life, a stimulating relationship, and a supportive social circle of friends. So, it seems you have little in common with these people, yet you are inclined to communicate with them for hours on end? It doesn’t make much (if any) logical sense.

 

Given all that, you seem to view yourself as on a different level than others here, frequently trying to belittle them. But what are you getting out of it? Based on your own descriptions, your life sounds much more privileged and very different from the lives of many others here. So why spend so much time focused on people and things you consider beneath you—topics that supposedly don’t relate to you and differ significantly from your own standards?

 

Honestly, I can’t figure it out, nor does it add up, especially when those you’re “schooling” don’t seem to at all appreciate your opinions or your condescending advice. So why do you do it? Do you enjoy provoking them and then enduring the backlash? I wouldn’t be surprised. There are men who are known to get off on triggering and then being abused by others.

 

From what I’ve read, you often come across as passive-aggressive, conflicted, and frequently flip-flopping on issues just to try and gain the upper hand or appear superior to others. The only conclusion I can draw is that perhaps you find some satisfaction in watching others struggle—it may fill some unmet need in your own life. It brings to mind Edward Norton’s character in Fight Club, who attends various self-help groups under false pretenses, just to watch others suffer and to feed off their pain, only to reassure himself that he’s in a better situation than they are, despite all the hidden pain and suffering in his own life.

 

Or maybe it’s the opposite—perhaps you’re like everyone else you put down but are hiding it, even from yourself, by pretending you’re different and above it all, somehow special.

 

Whatever the case, this approach doesn’t seem to be working well for you. It comes across as though you’re obsessed with other people’s difficult lives, not to help them, but to push them down further. As a result, nobody seems to appreciate your opinions, nor are you gaining any admiration or acceptance from others as the guru you appear to be striving to become. Ironically, many of the people you criticize seem more balanced, self-aware, and honest with themselves than you are.

 

Perhaps you’d benefit from reconsidering your own situation. Hijacking nearly every discussion about sex, men, and women in Thailand—topics that, by your account, don’t apply to you in any way—only makes your behavior seem strange, suspicious, and contradictory, and certainly questionable in many ways. If your life and your relationships are truly everything on a higher level, as you say they are, then what are you doing here scraping at the sh*t like everyone else?

That's an easy one. I like seeing others take the piss.🤣

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8 hours ago, JimTripper said:

It's not simply translation. There is typically a highly emotional connection and attraction along with the communication barrier. For example, jealousy, hormones, puppy love...

 

That makes any initial problem much harder to work out if you're relying on a translator and can't really express your feelings or get your partner to sit in front of the phone.

 

This is real life, not school.

I've been around the block a few times and don't need advice on how to communicate. I'm enjoying a relationship with a non-English speaker. If that's not your thing, then get yourself an English speaker. If you think a Thai girl cannot express emotions in her own language and make it known in English through a translator, you have a lot to learn. Perhaps you should go to school.

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3 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

I've been around the block a few times and don't need advice on how to communicate. I'm enjoying a relationship with a non-English speaker. If that's not your thing, then get yourself an English speaker. If you think a Thai girl cannot express emotions in her own language and make it known in English through a translator, you have a lot to learn. Perhaps you should go to school.

It's possible...

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9 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:


I’ve read through a number of your exchanges with other members, and most of them are never-ending pissing matches that go nowhere, particularly on topics related to women and the sexual activity of older men in Thailand—subjects that seem to dominate your interest and focus. It also strikes me that you post about these topics so frequently, despite giving the impression of being younger than others and having a well-educated wife from a good background—a partner you describe as financially independent, with whom you share a great sex life, a stimulating relationship, and a supportive social circle of friends. So, it seems you have little in common with these people, yet you are inclined to communicate with them for hours on end? It doesn’t make much (if any) logical sense.

 

Given all that, you seem to view yourself as on a different level than others here, frequently trying to belittle them. But what are you getting out of it? Based on your own descriptions, your life sounds much more privileged and very different from the lives of many others here. So why spend so much time focused on people and things you consider beneath you—topics that supposedly don’t relate to you and differ significantly from your own standards?

 

Honestly, I can’t figure it out, nor does it add up, especially when those you’re “schooling” don’t seem to at all appreciate your opinions or your condescending advice. So why do you do it? Do you enjoy provoking them and then enduring the backlash? I wouldn’t be surprised. There are men who are known to get off on triggering and then being abused by others.

 

From what I’ve read, you often come across as passive-aggressive, conflicted, and frequently flip-flopping on issues just to try and gain the upper hand or appear superior to others. The only conclusion I can draw is that perhaps you find some satisfaction in watching others struggle—it may fill some unmet need in your own life. It brings to mind Edward Norton’s character in Fight Club, who attends various self-help groups under false pretenses, just to watch others suffer and to feed off their pain, only to reassure himself that he’s in a better situation than they are, despite all the hidden pain and suffering in his own life.

 

Or maybe it’s the opposite—perhaps you’re like everyone else you put down but are hiding it, even from yourself, by pretending you’re different and above it all, somehow special.

 

Whatever the case, this approach doesn’t seem to be working well for you. It comes across as though you’re obsessed with other people’s difficult lives, not to help them, but to push them down further. As a result, nobody seems to appreciate your opinions, nor are you gaining any admiration or acceptance from others as the guru you appear to be striving to become. Ironically, many of the people you criticize seem more balanced, self-aware, and honest with themselves than you are.

 

Perhaps you’d benefit from reconsidering your own situation. Hijacking nearly every discussion about sex, men, and women in Thailand—topics that, by your account, don’t apply to you in any way—only makes your behavior seem strange, suspicious, and contradictory, and certainly questionable in many ways. If your life and your relationships are truly everything on a higher level, as you say they are, then what are you doing here scraping at the sh*t like everyone else?

Nice analysis, I'm 100% certain he has mental issues, never admits it though

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9 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:


I’ve read through a number of your exchanges with other members, and most of them are never-ending pissing matches that go nowhere, particularly on topics related to women and the sexual activity of older men in Thailand—subjects that seem to dominate your interest and focus. It also strikes me that you post about these topics so frequently, despite giving the impression of being younger than others and having a well-educated wife from a good background—a partner you describe as financially independent, with whom you share a great sex life, a stimulating relationship, and a supportive social circle of friends. So, it seems you have little in common with these people, yet you are inclined to communicate with them for hours on end? It doesn’t make much (if any) logical sense.

 

Given all that, you seem to view yourself as on a different level than others here, frequently trying to belittle them. But what are you getting out of it? Based on your own descriptions, your life sounds much more privileged and very different from the lives of many others here. So why spend so much time focused on people and things you consider beneath you—topics that supposedly don’t relate to you and differ significantly from your own standards?

 

Honestly, I can’t figure it out, nor does it add up, especially when those you’re “schooling” don’t seem to at all appreciate your opinions or your condescending advice. So why do you do it? Do you enjoy provoking them and then enduring the backlash? I wouldn’t be surprised. There are men who are known to get off on triggering and then being abused by others.

 

From what I’ve read, you often come across as passive-aggressive, conflicted, and frequently flip-flopping on issues just to try and gain the upper hand or appear superior to others. The only conclusion I can draw is that perhaps you find some satisfaction in watching others struggle—it may fill some unmet need in your own life. It brings to mind Edward Norton’s character in Fight Club, who attends various self-help groups under false pretenses, just to watch others suffer and to feed off their pain, only to reassure himself that he’s in a better situation than they are, despite all the hidden pain and suffering in his own life.

 

Or maybe it’s the opposite—perhaps you’re like everyone else you put down but are hiding it, even from yourself, by pretending you’re different and above it all, somehow special.

 

Whatever the case, this approach doesn’t seem to be working well for you. It comes across as though you’re obsessed with other people’s difficult lives, not to help them, but to push them down further. As a result, nobody seems to appreciate your opinions, nor are you gaining any admiration or acceptance from others as the guru you appear to be striving to become. Ironically, many of the people you criticize seem more balanced, self-aware, and honest with themselves than you are.

 

Perhaps you’d benefit from reconsidering your own situation. Hijacking nearly every discussion about sex, men, and women in Thailand—topics that, by your account, don’t apply to you in any way—only makes your behavior seem strange, suspicious, and contradictory, and certainly questionable in many ways. If your life and your relationships are truly everything on a higher level, as you say they are, then what are you doing here scraping at the sh*t like everyone else?

 

Thank you for expressing your thoughts. 😊 Perhaps I seem an enigma to you. Something beyond your understanding, so you try to fill the gaps with your imagination. But it's just your imagination, which is limited to your experiences.

The truth is that nothing that you have written applies to me. What I see are a few sex tourists and delusional old men, desperately slinging mud, in the hope that something by chance might hit. But it's all wrong. 😊 My personal life, my motivation. All hopeful guesses and all missing the mark. 

It's rather obvious why this is the case.😊

 

Let me leave you with this simple illustration: There are quite a few old men here who express their disgust at the thought of having sex with a woman their own age. Yet those same men tells themselves that a much younger woman enjoys having sex with a wrinkly old man 😊

 

 

 

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16 hours ago, IC2000 said:

Find the right partner/s that will give you what you want / need. That includes psychology. Sometimes it's raw, but when she's not up for that it's disappointing. Other times it's more cordial and maybe sometimes you're not ok with that.

I'm intrigued as to how one does that. I thought my wife was everything I was looking for, but it was just the long con.

It's not like women come with a written list of attributes and a guarantee, so how does one find that "perfect woman" that will never change?

I have zero idea of where they lurk.

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16 hours ago, IC2000 said:

Find a good working girl that does the job, likes you and knows what you want. This way it's getting better and better rather than new partners and you constantly wondering if this or that is gonna happen, she's gonna try some BS monkey business.

Working girls in Thailand are either doing it as a way of making enough money to get ahead in life and not intending to do it as a life time occupation. The ones that would stay with one long time generally want to be married.

 

So, the perfect girl, without an invitation to visit the amphur will at some stage move on.

It's not like the ranks of working girls are filled with those just waiting for some needy farang to dedicate themselves to without some significant pay off.

 

If your real life experience is different to mine, do tell.

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16 hours ago, IC2000 said:

For yourself, try to understand what precisely was the letdown in each particular experience that led to Mr Softee - each experience. You've given us this very comprehensive, but overly broad picture

Seems to me that too much emphasis is put on being Mr Hard, which is inevitably going to vanish at some stage for many different reasons.

It's not necessary to be hard to have a happy ending, and there are many ways for Mr Softee to satisfy the beloved.

 

Sex should be so much more than poking it in and waggling it about a bit.

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1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm intrigued as to how one does that. I thought my wife was everything I was looking for, but it was just the long con.

It's not like women come with a written list of attributes and a guarantee, so how does one find that "perfect woman" that will never change?

I have zero idea of where they lurk.

 

In this situation I was more referring to a p4p situation. The encounters are essentially one-off.

 

You're not going to get a PSE from the typical Thai woman. So, those relationships can be based more on connecting with side benefits of kissing and other oral experiences. The rentals - more direct, visceral. If the wife not getting it done I'd just move on. Clear boundaries. Paying for occasional, harmless outside 'massage' entertainment is fine. If you're needs are met only outside - time to move outside.

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2 minutes ago, IC2000 said:

 

In this situation I was more referring to a p4p situation. The encounters are essentially one-off.

 

You're not going to get a PSE from the typical Thai woman. So, those relationships can be based more on connecting with side benefits of kissing and other oral experiences. The rentals - more direct, visceral. If the wife not getting it done I'd just move on. Clear boundaries. Paying for occasional, harmless outside 'massage' entertainment is fine. If you're needs are met only outside - time to move outside.

Sorry, google does not enlighten me as to what PSE means, can you explain please.

 

P4P in LOS is anything one wants it to be. I had a P4P for 8 years, and I never gave her a retainer when not with her. In the end she found a rich guy to marry and moved on. On holiday I always had one for the duration of the holiday. Not for nothing is it described as the girlfriend experience.

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39 minutes ago, SoCal1990 said:

It’s also hard not to notice how often you ride a moral high horse when it comes to relationships, suggesting that those who engage in casual encounters or pay for companionship are somehow missing out on the beauty of real connection. You paint them as shallow, as though their relationships—or lack of them—lack value or meaning. But from what I’ve seen, many of these men are fully aware of their choices. Some have had meaningful relationships in the past and are now only looking for physical connection or companionship, without the deeper commitment that you claim is essential. It’s curious that you seem to dismiss these choices as inherently inferior. Not everyone seeks the same kind of connection, and assuming that your perspective is the only valid one seems rather narrow for someone who positions himself as worldly and insightful.

 

+1

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6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Working girls in Thailand are either doing it as a way of making enough money to get ahead in life and not intending to do it as a life time occupation. The ones that would stay with one long time generally want to be married.

 

So, the perfect girl, without an invitation to visit the amphur will at some stage move on.

It's not like the ranks of working girls are filled with those just waiting for some needy farang to dedicate themselves to without some significant pay off.

 

If your real life experience is different to mine, do tell.

There are many types of women on the game here. Most of the ones foreigners encounter are going to be those contrary to your belief (IMO). They are full timers, down the abyss and no way back out. It's very difficult to get a proper job here and not having an education, no work experience, no training doesn't help. Doubly so now with AI. Most women around BKK venues are well over 35. I've met a few that are 50.

 

The idea of getting married and off to promised land is mostly dead. I think many working girls would marry here, but only to string the guy out. Not genuine. Having said that some are well over the hill and would be thankful for the rescue attempt.

 

No woman is waiting for the farang lottery to hit. Even women on dating sites have many, many open options.

 

How do you find the perfect partner? Are you perfect? I'm not. She doesn't exist. Very likely typical Thai woman is pretty much only down with vanilla sx. The dirty birds will be self centered and difficult to trust, but a wild ride.

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2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Sorry, google does not enlighten me as to what PSE means, can you explain please.

 

P4P in LOS is anything one wants it to be. I had a P4P for 8 years, and I never gave her a retainer when not with her. In the end she found a rich guy to marry and moved on. On holiday I always had one for the duration of the holiday. Not for nothing is it described as the girlfriend experience.

Po*n star experience

 

She moved on. Blessing for you. Go find another. You can never compete with the dumba** men willing to toss cash at women.

 

Certainly not all (Thai) women are like that.

 

I'm not really clear on what you're after?

 

If you want a keeper, find a woman who shares your hobbies and interests and make clear the sex expectations. If you want fun don't settle down with anyone. If you don't marry then she may potentially look for others. Fair enough eh?

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21 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Seems to me that too much emphasis is put on being Mr Hard, which is inevitably going to vanish at some stage for many different reasons.

It's not necessary to be hard to have a happy ending, and there are many ways for Mr Softee to satisfy the beloved.

 

Sex should be so much more than poking it in and waggling it about a bit.

 

I agree with this and don't understand the op. He might be so paranoid about not being hard it affects this very thing. Another thing, the rental won't care she gets paid just the same. A partner you can work it out. Finally, nothing that sideagra won't take care of. He's done lots of work on himself. Maybe just getting old early.

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1 minute ago, IC2000 said:

There are many types of women on the game here. Most of the ones foreigners encounter are going to be those contrary to your belief (IMO). They are full timers, down the abyss and no way back out. It's very difficult to get a proper job here and not having an education, no work experience, no training doesn't help. Doubly so now with AI. Most women around BKK venues are well over 35. I've met a few that are 50.

 

The idea of getting married and off to promised land is mostly dead. I think many working girls would marry here, but only to string the guy out. Not genuine. Having said that some are well over the hill and would be thankful for the rescue attempt.

 

No woman is waiting for the farang lottery to hit. Even women on dating sites have many, many open options.

 

How do you find the perfect partner? Are you perfect? I'm not. She doesn't exist. Very likely typical Thai woman is pretty much only down with vanilla sx. The dirty birds will be self centered and difficult to trust, but a wild ride.

Perhaps the scene has changed too much since my monging days for me to know about now, but I went with hundreds over many decades, and none were hardened whores with no ambition to move on at some stage. Perhaps I was more selective in my choice of whom I would invite to share my holiday with than most. Is it significant that the closest to that description were all from Patong in Phuket, but I still found nice, normal girls among the long time ( but not forever ) hookers. The nicest were from Bkk or Pattaya. I lived in Chiang Mai for a while, but the scene there was so pathetic that I didn't bother to know.

 

BTW, I must have missed out as I never had a "wild ride", whatever that means- not knowing If I'd wake up in the morning, perhaps.

 

Most women around BKK venues are well over 35

Which is not to say that they are not perfectly satisfactory. One of the nicest ones I went with was over 35, and looked it, but a charming woman for sure.

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8 minutes ago, IC2000 said:

Po*n star experience

 

She moved on. Blessing for you. Go find another. You can never compete with the dumba** men willing to toss cash at women.

 

Certainly not all (Thai) women are like that.

 

I'm not really clear on what you're after?

 

If you want a keeper, find a woman who shares your hobbies and interests and make clear the sex expectations. If you want fun don't settle down with anyone. If you don't marry then she may potentially look for others. Fair enough eh?

I never had anything resembling a "po*n star experience, but as they are generally choreographed and performed by actors to present an exceptional image of sexual activity to make money that isn't surprising. However, I was generally satisfied with what I got, though not always by a long chalk. Never mind, it was fun looking for that po*n star experience, and I even came close a couple of times.

 

I'm not really clear on what you're after?

 

When I was monging I was just having a girl friend experience on a nice beach or three.

 

Then I made the mistake of thinking Thai girls were different and got married.

 

After I got myself out of that mess I basically lost interest in real women and never bothered since.

Digital women look amazing, cost nothing and never want anything from me. That's a win.

 

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21 minutes ago, IC2000 said:

 

I agree with this and don't understand the op. He might be so paranoid about not being hard it affects this very thing. Another thing, the rental won't care she gets paid just the same. A partner you can work it out. Finally, nothing that sideagra won't take care of. He's done lots of work on himself. Maybe just getting old early.

While I'm no expert on the subject of erectile failure, seems to me that anxiety would be a significant contributor to the problem. The more one stresses about not getting there, the more likely to have an aborted lift off.

 

One can have a lot of fun without Mr Hard at the party.

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12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Perhaps the scene has changed too much since my monging days for me to know about now, but I went with hundreds over many decades, and none were hardened whores with no ambition to move on at some stage. Perhaps I was more selective in my choice of whom I would invite to share my holiday with than most. Is it significant that the closest to that description were all from Patong in Phuket, but I still found nice, normal girls among the long time ( but not forever ) hookers. The nicest were from Bkk or Pattaya. I lived in Chiang Mai for a while, but the scene there was so pathetic that I didn't bother to know.

 

BTW, I must have missed out as I never had a "wild ride", whatever that means- not knowing If I'd wake up in the morning, perhaps.

 

Most women around BKK venues are well over 35

Which is not to say that they are not perfectly satisfactory. One of the nicest ones I went with was over 35, and looked it, but a charming woman for sure.

 

I think they were all pretty hard. You just did not accept the fact. None were doing anything to dig themselves out. To be honest there's little opportunity, little they can do. If they don't move up into some sort of managerial bar / massage work then it's often a decent into cleaning, janitorial work as the beauty fades.

 

Often, the older women are far more charming. They have English skills, experience knowing what farang are after. The you g ones have their beauty and are all about money. Decades ago when I'd lived in Pattaya I'd go back and forth. The younger ones often the eyeful, but unsatisfying, the older ones a better experience.

 

Funny, the old drinks girls (women) around Sukhumvit want serious money for a night's entertainment. Same as the younguns. They all have similar expenses I'm just shocked they (can) hold out for that one old drunk tourist to take them out. Some are no joke 45 and even 50 yo. All are over 35, most 40. These girls are long haulers. Certainly not looking for an office job 🤣

 

I find most of the working women on Sukhumvit well past prime, some still attractive with make-up

 

Asian women are charming. Even battle hardened women in Patong and Pattaya can be real charmers. It's why all the men are here and not South America.

 

One reason I love living in Bangkok is all the beautiful women that are constantly buzzing about.

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11 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I never had anything resembling a "po*n star experience, but as they are generally choreographed and performed by actors to present an exceptional image of sexual activity to make money that isn't surprising. However, I was generally satisfied with what I got, though not always by a long chalk. Never mind, it was fun looking for that po*n star experience, and I even came close a couple of times.

 

I'm not really clear on what you're after?

 

When I was monging I was just having a girl friend experience on a nice beach or three.

 

Then I made the mistake of thinking Thai girls were different and got married.

 

After I got myself out of that mess I basically lost interest in real women and never bothered since.

Digital women look amazing, cost nothing and never want anything from me. That's a win.

 

 

Well, whatever you're after PSE or GFE you've got to suss that out.

 

Thai women are no different. Having said that I've been happily married 12 years, together 15. We have shared likes, hobbies, interests. It's important for the long haul.

 

You oughta get back in the game 🥳 Sort yourself out, get that chip off your shoulder. Por* is a low quality human experience. If in the west I understand. Here, get out and mix it up. You'll get to an age when it's not possible.

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6 minutes ago, IC2000 said:

I think they were all pretty hard. You just did not accept the fact.

Not true. I don't like hard people. I never went for the one night as I was looking for a companion on a beach, where companions were not available- the exception being Chaweng or Lamai, and they wanted too much.

Of course, I got fooled occasionally, but that was rare, so was I lucky, or just more choosey? Not unusual to look for the right one from Best Friend bar complex to Naklua, but there was always one. Never on Walking Street though.

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7 minutes ago, IC2000 said:

Well, whatever you're after PSE or GFE you've got to suss that out.

 

Thai women are no different. Having said that I've been happily married 12 years, together 15. We have shared likes, hobbies, interests. It's important for the long haul.

 

You oughta get back in the game 🥳 Sort yourself out, get that chip off your shoulder. Por* is a low quality human experience. If in the west I understand. Here, get out and mix it up. You'll get to an age when it's not possible.

I'm a bit far away to be getting back in that game and it doesn't exist here.

 

I'm long past that age anyway, just physically, not mentally. Digital is all I need now.

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16 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Not true. I don't like hard people. I never went for the one night as I was looking for a companion on a beach, where companions were not available- the exception being Chaweng or Lamai, and they wanted too much.

Of course, I got fooled occasionally, but that was rare, so was I lucky, or just more choosey? Not unusual to look for the right one from Best Friend bar complex to Naklua, but there was always one. Never on Walking Street though.

 

Perhaps a poor choice of words. By hard I simply meant pro. Hard women can be fun in a purely transactional sense otherwise quite unpleasant. As I stated in additional posts Asian women in general have quite a lovely disposition.

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11 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm long past that age anyway, just physically, not mentally. Digital is all I need now.


So you mean like Pornhub and chill? Go ahead and post your top ten go-to morning playlist. Skip posting your tranny selections though please. 

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13 hours ago, JimTripper said:

That's an easy one. I like seeing others take the piss.🤣


Hey NowNow is that you? Seems you were logged into your JimTripper troll account by mistake when you responded to that post addressed to your NowNow troll account. 

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15 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm a bit far away to be getting back in that game and it doesn't exist here.

 

I'm long past that age anyway, just physically, not mentally. Digital is all I need now.

 

Sorry. You'd written you were in BKK?? Past that age - so, over 75? I think you sell yourself and the experience short. Get out and find some chicken.

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