Over 50 and Feeling the Frustration

[thaibeachlovers]

6 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

What about time duration and service fees?

 

Up to me. She was lucky I let her pick the restaurant.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, StreetCowboy said:

Being younger was pretty good, back in the day, and I'd do it again tomorrow, given the choice.  I think I'd be able to do it better, now.

One would have to be an idiot to do it the same if one could go back.

There are about a quarter million things I'd do better if I could, but the biggest would be NOT getting involved in a relationship with women, Friends yes, partners never ever.

[RSD1]

4 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. My wife spoke perfect conversational English, so why would I need to learn conversational Thai? I spoke Thai well enough to get by. More than that would have been a waste of my time.

 

Two people trying to conduct a meaningful romantic relationship when neither speaks each other's language is like both people being bound to a wheelchair or a set of crutches.

LOL.

Given no Thai woman I ever spent time with had anything resembling a romantic side as we farangs understand it, why would I have bothered with the flowers or the prezzies? With me she had aquired the winning Lotto ticket- no need for more.

That's what I liked about the "dating" ( for want of a more appropriate word ) game in LOS was that there isn't one unless one likes pretending. It's just transactional. Thais are so much more practical than stupid farangs that think they have to woo the woman.

At least one of you spoke the other's language. So yours was a very different situation to the one I was referring to. Didn't you catch that?
 

"Romantic relationship" is just a polite generic term often used online to refer to any relationship between a man and a woman that involves sex. I wasn't referring to romance based on your interpretation of the word. Meanwhile, do people still really buy women flowers? The most I ever show up with is a bag of fresh fruit or maybe a bar of chocolate if I want to appear really chivalrous. 

[thaibeachlovers]

16 hours ago, JensenZ said:

My girlfriend speaks no English and I speak no Thai. We conduct our relationship entirely through the Google Translator App. One month in it's going really well. Slowly I'm learning some Thai and she's learning English. There are many gems out there who have never worked in a bar or been near a foreigner. It just requires some patience and the Google translator app.

For girls that spoke no English, braille usually worked for me.

The only Thai I need to know in such situations was "stay long time?" and "how much?".

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Given no Thai woman I ever spent time with had anything resembling a romantic side as we farangs understand it, why would I have bothered with the flowers or the prezzies? With me she had aquired the winning Lotto ticket- no need for more.

I well remember as a newcomer to Thailand buying a 10bht red rose for my "date", she took it and said, next time I'd prefer the 10bht".

She spoke English with a French accent.

Edited November 3 by BritManToo

[RSD1]

10 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Up to me. She was lucky I let her pick the restaurant.

Wow, she really made out well then. 

[thaibeachlovers]

3 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

At least one of you spoke the other's language. So yours was a very different situation to the one I was referring to. Didn't you catch that?
 

"Romantic relationship" is just a polite generic term often used online to refer to any relationship between a man and a woman that involves sex. I wasn't referring to romance based on your interpretation of the word. Meanwhile, do people still really buy women flowers? The most I ever show up with is a bag of fresh fruit or maybe a bar of chocolate if I want to appear really chivalrous. 

Apologies. I missed "unless either of you is going to make the effort necessary to become fluent in each other's language", and erroneously thought you were saying both needed to learn each other's language.

 

Senior moment.

[RSD1]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Apologies. I missed "unless either of you is going to make the effort necessary to become fluent in each other's language", and erroneously thought you were saying both needed to learn each other's language.

 

Senior moment.

No problemo 😉 

[thaibeachlovers]

8 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Wow, she really made out well then. 

She did. I was the best deal she was ever going to get. She even wanted me to go back to her about a couple of years after we got divorced and I had left LOS. Obviously had no luck catching another farang like her family wanted. She even told me that they wanted her to divorce me so she could marry a farang that would give them lotasacash.

 

I didn't stay in touch with her, but she was able to ask my sister on facebook to ask me. They met once and obviously exchanged facebook contacts.

Edited November 3 by thaibeachlovers

[RSD1]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I well remember as a newcomer to Thailand buying a 10bht red rose for my "date", she took it and said, next time I'd prefer the 10bht".

She spoke English with a French accent.

A bouquet of roses in a western country is an expensive item usually reserved for special occasions. So there is a lot more value placed on them. In Southeast Asia, flowers are very inexpensive so I think women are a lot less impressed by them. I also don't think women feel the same way about receiving flowers in Asia as they do in a western country in general. So they rather receive something else. Something they would enjoy eating or drinking or taking them on a nice outing somewhere. 

[JensenZ]

41 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I'm not that bothered about conversations with women, as long as she can understand "get me a sandwich and a cold beer" it's all good.

 

But wasn't this thread about impotence?

Well, the quality of your relationship with a woman has a huge impact on your performance. With the wrong partner, I'm going to be impotent even if I'm not LOL

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, RSD1 said:

A bouquet of roses in a western country is an expensive item usually reserved for special occasions. So there is a lot more value placed on them. In Southeast Asia, flowers are very inexpensive so I think women are a lot less impressed by them. I also don't think women feel the same way about receiving flowers in Asia as they do in a western country in general.So they rather receive something else. Something they would enjoy eatin g or drinking or taking them on a nice outing somewhere. 

So they rather receive something else. Something they would enjoy eating or drinking

 

The above is the relevant sentence.

 

I used to take them on holidays to the beach, but they would probably have been happier staying in Pattaya with their friends.

[JensenZ]

17 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

At least one of you spoke the other's language. So yours was a very different situation to the one I was referring to. Didn't you catch that?
 

"Romantic relationship" is just a polite generic term often used online to refer to any relationship between a man and a woman that involves sex. I wasn't referring to romance based on your interpretation of the word. Meanwhile, do people still really buy women flowers? The most I ever show up with is a bag of fresh fruit or maybe a bar of chocolate if I want to appear really chivalrous. 

The most romantic thing my girlfriend said to me was "I'm a teenager - I'm always ready" when I explained to her that I needed to prepare for sex (taking my drugs at the right time). LOL Her multiple orgasms speak louder than words.

[NowNow]

19 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Given no Thai woman I ever spent time with had anything resembling a romantic side as we farangs understand it, why would I have bothered with the flowers or the prezzies?

 

That was your mistake, to settle for such a woman. Girls/women that like you, give you gifts. My Thai friend did so on the very first day I met her. Left a huge Teddy Bear outside my door and continued in the same vein. I recently reconnected with her and again, first day wanted to send me things. Had similar experiences with other Thai girls.

You might read it as a 'sense of superiority' and indeed it might be. Not settling for something below your standard and getting dragged down by it.

It sounds like you were just happy with regular sex and a kind of companion and ignored the rest until it was too late.

Whereas, I only move forward with girls who actually like me and vice versa. It's seems you were easily convinced.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

Well, the quality of your relationship with a woman has a huge impact on your performance. With the wrong partner, I'm going to be impotent even if I'm not LOL

I never had a problem even if I didn't particularly like the person I was doing it with.

I'm not getting into why I might be with someone I didn't particularly like. Too complicated and not relevant anyway.

[JensenZ]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I never had a problem even if I didn't particularly like the person I was doing it with.

I'm not getting into why I might be with someone I didn't particularly like. Too complicated and not relevant anyway.

Well, aren't you the stud?

 

You don't have to like a girl to get aroused, I get that.

[thaibeachlovers]

9 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

A bouquet of roses in a western country is an expensive item usually reserved for special occasions. So there is a lot more value placed on them. In Southeast Asia, flowers are very inexpensive so I think women are a lot less impressed by them. I also don't think women feel the same way about receiving flowers in Asia as they do in a western country in general. So they rather receive something else. Something they would enjoy eating or drinking or taking them on a nice outing somewhere. 

I read somewhere that Thai girls were scathing about men that bought them a single rose- thought they were being stingy or something.

Flowers are a western capitalist invention to sell flowers ( like diamonds for engagements ), and some things don't travel well.

[Nick Carter icp]

39 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

With me she had aquired the winning Lotto ticket- no need for more.

 

    Why didn't she stay with you then ?

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, JensenZ said:

Well, aren't you the stud?

 

You don't have to like a girl to get aroused, I get that.

Stud? Hardly, but I did OK with the biz.

My idea of a stud is a guy that women throw themselves at, but that definitely doesn't apply to me. When I was young I had no money, no nice car, no nice house, so not worth their time. When I was older and had money I wasn't interested in them, as had discovered Thailand to spend it in.

[georgegeorgia]

18 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

A bouquet of roses in a western country is an expensive item usually reserved for special occasions. So there is a lot more value placed on them. In Southeast Asia, flowers are very inexpensive so I think women are a lot less impressed by them. I also don't think women feel the same way about receiving flowers in Asia as they do in a western country in general. So they rather receive something else. Something they would enjoy eating or drinking or taking them on a nice outing somewhere. 

Oh Lordy ,can we please become gender neutral and not mention the sexualities

[thaibeachlovers]

It's been real, guys, but I gotta go eat something so I'm outta here till tomorrow.

[IC2000]

On 10/29/2024 at 9:51 PM, 123Stodg said:

Well, let’s just cut to the chase—getting older isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There’s the inevitable grey hair, the mysterious aches and pains, and, let’s face it, some truly annoying changes on the “personal health” front. I’m talking about a certain lack of enthusiasm below the belt. Once you hit 50, it’s like a switch flips, and suddenly your body decides it’s gonna make things more difficult in the bedroom. For most of my life, I didn’t give a second thought to, let’s call it, “rising to the occasion.” But now? Let’s just say that even when I’m mentally ready, my body’s got other plans.

 

I’ve tried every “natural” suggestion out there—believe me, I’ve done my research. Eating clean, quitting caffeine, working out regularly. They say “get more sleep,” but try telling that to the never-ending to-do list waiting every morning. I’ve loaded up on leafy greens, upped my water intake, and even swapped out some old habits for new, healthier ones. I’ve even gotten into meditation, trying to manage stress levels. But when it comes down to it, no matter how many vegetables I eat or how many squats I do, the problem persists.

 

And let’s talk about supplements. I’ve probably spent a small fortune on everything from ginseng to maca root, L-arginine to zinc. If it’s sold as a “natural” performance booster, it’s probably sitting somewhere in my drawer right now. But here’s the reality: it’s just not working. I’ve tried powders, pills, smoothies, and shakes—anything that promised even a glimmer of hope. All I got was stack full of bottles and a lingering sense of defeat.

 

Now, being in Thailand, let’s just say there’s no shortage of… commercial options. I’ve tried visiting a few of the top spots and, let’s be real, the experience is enough to leave anyone starry-eyed. Even had a go with a few young, eager hands-on assistants who are pretty dedicated to the “art” of service, and, yes, sometimes with more than one helping at a time. But here’s the thing—even with all that charm, dedication, and sheer effort in the mix, the results haven’t exactly changed much. Sure, it’s enjoyable and exciting, but my body just isn’t playing along the way it used to. If anything, it only adds to the frustration, knowing the mind’s all there, but the engine just won’t fire up like it once did.

 

Of course, there’s always the pharmaceutical route. But the idea of taking potentially risky meds doesn’t sit well with me. We’ve all seen the lists of side effects, and they’re no joke: headaches, dizziness, stomach issues and other health risks in general. Not exactly the kind of excitement I’m looking to add to my day. And, let’s be real—once you start down that path, is there any going back? I don’t want to be dependent on a prescription just to function normally, let alone to feel more confident.

 

So here I am, wondering if there’s some magic solution I haven’t stumbled across yet or if I just have to accept this as part of the new normal. It’s humbling, no doubt. And it’s frustrating beyond belief. But I’m also hoping there’s someone out there with some real advice—because, at this point, I’ll take any tips that don’t involve side effects or miracle powders. Hoping there are other people out there with wisdom who are on the same page.

 

Try 25mg sideagra (very safe / chemist shop) + paracetamol. *Daily Kegal exercises. If that doesn't do it 50mg at your age and health defo should. Empty or relatively stomach. Eat a bit of some protein an hour later. That alone should work like a charm

 

Find the right partner/s that will give you what you want / need. That includes psychology. Sometimes it's raw, but when she's not up for that it's disappointing. Other times it's more cordial and maybe sometimes you're not ok with that.

 

Find a good working girl that does the job, likes you and knows what you want. This way it's getting better and better rather than new partners and you constantly wondering if this or that is gonna happen, she's gonna try some BS monkey business.

 

For yourself, try to understand what precisely was the letdown in each particular experience that led to Mr Softee - each experience. You've given us this very comprehensive, but overly broad picture

 

You're post appears you are healthy, fit. This will sound odd perhaps, but maybe a physical makeover so the birds that you pick are thinking.. hey, this guy is ok ..this is gonna be alright.. You in turn are thinking, it's gonna be more than just transactional.. and it will be.

 

Many fat, unattractive guys here in Thailand think it's only about money. They just don't know. There's service and then there's SERVICE. So, get a new look, skincare, shave, smell great. Like that.

 

Another point is maybe psychologically you want to feel perhaps not 'wanted', but not unwanted and she's doing perfunctory job.

 

Finally, lower expectations. Expect to finish in under 60 minutes. Make it a great 60.

 

I'm in Bangkok 👍

Edited November 3 by IC2000

[JensenZ]

59 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

People like me? I have a real partner who speaks two languages fluently and is educated to Masters level and beyond. We discuss psychology and much more on a regular basis. How about you? What do you discuss via Google Translate with your girl from Issan?

Ok, good! Your girl is well-educated. I don't need a girl to discuss psychology regularly, which sounds quite boring. Surprisingly, you continue to troll and stalk on here when you have a "Real Partner" to discuss more interesting topics with. My ex-Filipino wife spoke 3 languages fluently.

 

Your problem is you're fixated on the idea that a young lady can't enjoy the company of an older guy without payment. I could prove that over and over again as being incorrect as I've lived in SE Asia (Philippines and Thailand) for over 25 years full-time and had many relationships that didn't require payment. Truth be told, if I'm after a casual engagement, I prefer to pay so I don't get caught up in emotional dramas. You probably don't have much experience with younger women, but many of them have feelings about things other than money. I suggest you stay away from bar girls.

 

You're also sarcastically suggesting that all girls (of lower class) in Thailand are from the Isaan region. That's a discusting attitude of looking down on 1/3 of Thailand's population as being inferior. My gf is not from Isaan, but that's irrelevant. You probably should spend a bit more time studying and discussing psychology.

[NowNow]

Just now, JensenZ said:

Ok, good! Your girl is well-educated. I don't need a girl to discuss psychology regularly, which sounds quite boring. Surprisingly, you continue to troll and stalk on here when you have a "Real Partner" to discuss more interesting topics with. My ex-Filipino wife spoke 3 languages fluently.

 

Your problem is you're fixated on the idea that a young lady can't enjoy the company of an older guy without payment. I could prove that over and over again as being incorrect as I've lived in SE Asia (Philippines and Thailand) for over 25 years full-time and had many relationships that didn't require payment. Truth be told, if I'm after a casual engagement, I prefer to pay so I don't get caught up in emotional dramas. You probably don't have much experience with younger women, but many of them have feelings about things other than money. I suggest you stay away from bar girls.

 

You're also sarcastically suggesting that all girls (of lower class) in Thailand are from the Isaan region. That's a discusting attitude of looking down on 1/3 of Thailand's population as being inferior. My gf is not from Isaan, but that's irrelevant. You probably should spend a bit more time studying and discussing psychology.

 

 

Why is it that you scream Troll when someone has a different perspective than yours? A bit weak and pathetic don't you think? Man up!

Now...where were we?

We discuss psychology of people like yourself and her work colleagues. Not boring at all to understand the creatures that roam the earth. 

No, I don't believe that your girlfriend is attracted to you. How's that? You've been here long enough that you don't need to fool yourself. It's about the money.

I'm pretty sure that you have funded all of your relationships, one way or another. 

Apologies for suggesting your girl was from Issan, nothing bad about being from that region. Shame that you took it as an insult.

 

[JensenZ]

1 hour ago, RSD1 said:

I can't even imagine what that's like. I speak fluent Thai and most of the time I still find meaningful conversation and anything more than superficial dialogue a challenge because of social and cultural differences. And that's coming from somebody who has lived in the country possibly even longer than your new native girlfriend has. But you've been together a month and you think you've already got it all worked out. Hopium. That's great. 
 

Two people trying to conduct a meaningful romantic relationship when neither speaks each other's language is like both people being bound to a wheelchair or a set of crutches. Thus, it will get old very quickly when the initial newness and allure of it all wears off. Having to reach for a smartphone and to type something out every time I want to talk to with my girlfriend would be torture, but that's just me.
 

To be honest, I'm not trying to be judgmental or critical of your relationship. I hope it works out the way that you are hoping and that it proves to be happy and fruitful for both of you. But I'm just being realistic. And from an outsiders perspective looking in, your longer term expectations seem unrealistic and clouded by a self fulfilling prophecy, unless either of you is going to make the effort necessary to become fluent in each other's language, which is at least a 3 to 4 year learning commitment. 
 

I assume you're going to think that I'm all wrong, that I don't know you or your girlfriend, and so there's no way that I could possibly understand. That's fine. I'll accept that criticism, knowing that there is objective truth to what I'm saying.

I'm quite ok with your criticism. No advice is necessary. That's why I like living in Thailand - the options are endless.

 

I've never had to use the translator during sex, with this lady or any others that couldn't speak English. Nearly all of the ladies I've been dating for the last several months didn't speak any English. I'm fine with it. I prefer to date women who haven't worked in a bar.

 

I'm old now. I live day to day.

 

 

[JensenZ]

1 minute ago, NowNow said:

 

 

Why is it that you scream Troll when someone has a different perspective than yours? A bit weak and pathetic don't you think? Man up!

Now...where were we?

We discuss psychology of people like yourself and her work colleagues. Not boring at all to understand the creatures that roam the earth. 

No, I don't believe that your girlfriend is attracted to you. How's that? You've been here long enough that you don't need to fool yourself. It's about the money.

I'm pretty sure that you have funded all of your relationships, one way or another. 

Apologies for suggesting your girl was from Issan, nothing bad about being from that region. Shame that you took it as an insult.

 

You are trolling, but never mind. Let's hear about your relationship. How old is she? How long have you been together discussing psychology? How do you know she likes you? Personally, I detest psychologists, thinking they can work out how other people think.

 

The shame is on you, openly showing that you think girls from 1/3 of Thailand are inferior.

[GinBoy2]

Well the whole getting older thing is a bit of a bitch in general.

 

Me and Mrs G are mid 50's, mid 60's, been around the block for a few decades.

We still have a pretty good sex life which is good, but I'll openly admit neither of us have the same desire for it had 20+ years ago, thats cruel nature at work, cup of cocoa before bedtime might suffice!

 

Then there are the aches and pains. Damn it things I would have shaken off in my youth now have me racing for the pain meds

 

So you kinda need to accept getting older and ease into it, for all it's ups and downs, or you're going to feel pretty bitter

[NowNow]

13 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

You are trolling, but never mind. Let's hear about your relationship. How old is she? How long have you been together discussing psychology? How do you know she likes you? Personally, I detest psychologists, thinking they can work out how other people think.

 

The shame is on you, openly showing that you think girls from 1/3 of Thailand are inferior.

 

Why would I try to have a serious and honest conversation with someone who tries to dismiss me as a Troll?

 

They buy gifts, they are actually attracted to me, (as I'm not some wrinkly old man pretending that a young woman wants to have sex with him), they can support themselves, we can discuss anything in depth, plan for the future, we support each other in all things...I could go on and on...

This is a standard. 

Others may be happy to buy themselves a woman. Up to them. But don't expect everyone to give you a pat on the back for it. Childish to call someone a Troll because they have a different perspective than yourself.

 

 

 

[Hummin]

Reading the posts from regular memebers here at AN, makes me wonder the IQ level, and mental status as well level of emphasis with girls and women in Thailand. Talking about garbage, FS

Edited November 3 by Hummin

[NowNow]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Reading the posts from regular memebers here, makes me wonder the IQ level, and mental status as well level of emphasis with girls and women in Thailand. Talking about garbage, FS

 

Your post needs some work 😊

 

It reads as if you are Over 50 and Feeling the Frustration 😊

Edited November 3 by NowNow