Soi 6, Legs For Days, and a Chiropractor: A Cautionary Tale

[SoCal1990]

Boys, right, let me tell you, life at the top with my kind of wealth isn’t always such smooth sailing like you good lads think. Even when you’re as newly Bitcoin minted as I am, there are days when the universe just decides to have a right laugh at your expense. Yesterday was one of those days mates.

 

I was out for a casual afternoon stroll down Soi 6, as one does when one has more cash in wallet than sense innit. Feeling a bit frothy, I decided to treat myself to a short time with a particularly glamorous, tall, slim, long black hair, legs-for-days bit of kit. Top-tier stuff mates. So we get into the wee room, and just as we’re really getting down to proper business, disaster strikes. Mid-crank, I feel a pop in my lower back, followed by an explosion of pain. I collapse, fully naked, like an old water buffalo on its last legs. The cock-in-the-frock, now absolutely horrified, starts panicking, thinks maybe I need an ambulance. "Khun Bob, Khun Bob, you wunn go hoppi-tun?" she yelps. Me? A hospital? No chance. Not in this city. I pull myself together, grit my teeth, let out a solid fart, and waddle out the back of the bar like a swordsman returning from battle.

 

But, I’m in absolute agony. Can’t stand up straight. Can’t sit down. Take a dump? Forget about it. Can’t move without wincing like I’ve just been kicked in the family jewels. But being the problem solver that I am, I decide to seek professional help. Enter: The Chiropractor.

 

I limp my way into a baht bus and over to some clinic just off Pattaya Glahng Road that promises to “restore mobility and vitality”, perfect for a man with my troubles. The receptionist takes one look at me, all hunched over like Gollum after a big night out, and immediately she hands me some paperwork. I scratch my name out (Bob Smith, Financial Extraordinaire, Ladyboy Aficionado), and within minutes, I’m ushered into a room by a fella who looks like he hasn't graduated middle-school yet and who got his medical degree off Lazada.

 

I try explaining my very delicate situation, but he barely listens. Before I know it, he’s got me face-down, on the table, muttering some nonsense about “unlocking nerve pathways.” Then—BANG. He twists my spine like he’s wringing out a wet towel. I yelp. Something shifts. Not in a good way either. He tells me relax Khun Bob. Relax mate? Right, I just spent 11,000 baht to get paralyzed by a bloke who learned his trade from YouTube tutorials.

 

So I try to stand up, nope, worse than before. Now I’m hobbling like a 90-year-old noodle vendor who has just fallen down into the klong. The chiropractor pats me on the back (cheers, mate), tells me I'll feel much better in the morning after rubbing one out, a good night's sleep and suggests I book another session with him next week.

 

So there I am, completely battered, walking back out into the sub-sois of BuaKhao, my wallet is lighter by 11,000 baht and with a back that clicks every time I inhale. 

 

Well, a lesser man would admit defeat, but not me. No, I do what any self-respecting, cash millionaire would do after an experience like that. I limp my way to the nearest beer bar, order a large whiskey soda, and pray that I wake up tomorrow with my spine still intact.

 

Moral of the story, lads? If you’re gonna play, don't pull any fancy contortionist stunts. And if you’re gonna throw your back out, at least make sure it’s with a strong enough prozzie who’ll carry you out the room when all goes tits up.

 

Best regards,

The Original Bob.

[save the frogs]

This is getting weird.

Who is the real Bob?

Have broke bob, rich bob, elvis, and SoCal ever been seen in the same room together? 

 

[short-Timer]

26 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

This is getting weird.

Who is the real Bob?

Have broke bob, rich bob, elvis, and SoCal ever been seen in the same room together? 

 

You forgot Bar Boy Colin. But they are all just bits and bobs anyway. 

[HappyExpat57]

19 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

This is getting weird.

Who is the real Bob?

Have broke bob, rich bob, elvis, and SoCal ever been seen in the same room together? 

 

Does anyone actually read these prosaic posts?

I only come for the replies.

[cobra]

1 hour ago, HappyExpat57 said:

Does anyone actually read these prosaic posts?

I only come for the replies.

There is no spoon …..

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, HappyExpat57 said:

Does anyone actually read these prosaic posts?

I only come for the replies.

yeah i read it.

the guy's got talent. arguably wasting it. 

 

[HappyExpat57]

7 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

yeah i read it.

the guy's got talent. arguably wasting it. 

 

You DO realize he's not the one actually writing the words, yes?  The author would be Skynet.

[save the frogs]

1 minute ago, HappyExpat57 said:

You DO realize he's not the one actually writing the words, yes?  The author would be Skynet.

Could be that he's feeding all of Bob's posting history into ChatGPT and asking it to spit out a new story with some prompts I guess. 

[Gottfrid]

7 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Best regards,

The Original Bob.

Nah, you write too long and detailed stories for being the real Bob.

[stubuzz]

8 hours ago, save the frogs said:

This is getting weird.

Who is the real Bob?

Have broke bob, rich bob, elvis, and SoCal ever been seen in the same room together? 

Bob is a manifestation of "the evil that men do". (Twin Peaks Quote)

[ignore it]

I am Spartacus. 

 

Err...

 

I am Bob

[saintdomingo]

9 hours ago, save the frogs said:

This is getting weird.

Who is the real Bob?

Have broke bob, rich bob, elvis, and SoCal ever been seen in the same room together? 

 

I thought the real Bob spent his afternoons drinking Thai whisky with his mates in his palatial home, before going out seriously on ye pysse at night.

Anyway

[saintdomingo]

I am Bob.

[tjintx]

"Hell is other Bobs".  Sartre

[LALes]

Whoever it is,  I like the writing style;

he's got some witty metaphors and, as Spock said in Star Trek 4, some coloful adjectives.

 

[Grusa]

What a load of utter rubbish. Both op and responses. Off with all their ghoolies.

[CM Dad]

13 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Boys, right, let me tell you, life at the top with my kind of wealth isn’t always such smooth sailing like you good lads think. Even when you’re as newly Bitcoin minted as I am, there are days when the universe just decides to have a right laugh at your expense. Yesterday was one of those days mates.

 

I was out for a casual afternoon stroll down Soi 6, as one does when one has more cash in wallet than sense innit. Feeling a bit frothy, I decided to treat myself to a short time with a particularly glamorous, tall, slim, long black hair, legs-for-days bit of kit. Top-tier stuff mates. So we get into the wee room, and just as we’re really getting down to proper business, disaster strikes. Mid-crank, I feel a pop in my lower back, followed by an explosion of pain. I collapse, fully naked, like an old water buffalo on its last legs. The cock-in-the-frock, now absolutely horrified, starts panicking, thinks maybe I need an ambulance. "Khun Bob, Khun Bob, you wunn go hoppi-tun?" she yelps. Me? A hospital? No chance. Not in this city. I pull myself together, grit my teeth, let out a solid fart, and waddle out the back of the bar like a swordsman returning from battle.

 

But, I’m in absolute agony. Can’t stand up straight. Can’t sit down. Take a dump? Forget about it. Can’t move without wincing like I’ve just been kicked in the family jewels. But being the problem solver that I am, I decide to seek professional help. Enter: The Chiropractor.

 

I limp my way into a baht bus and over to some clinic just off Pattaya Glahng Road that promises to “restore mobility and vitality”, perfect for a man with my troubles. The receptionist takes one look at me, all hunched over like Gollum after a big night out, and immediately she hands me some paperwork. I scratch my name out (Bob Smith, Financial Extraordinaire, Ladyboy Aficionado), and within minutes, I’m ushered into a room by a fella who looks like he hasn't graduated middle-school yet and who got his medical degree off Lazada.

 

I try explaining my very delicate situation, but he barely listens. Before I know it, he’s got me face-down, on the table, muttering some nonsense about “unlocking nerve pathways.” Then—BANG. He twists my spine like he’s wringing out a wet towel. I yelp. Something shifts. Not in a good way either. He tells me relax Khun Bob. Relax mate? Right, I just spent 11,000 baht to get paralyzed by a bloke who learned his trade from YouTube tutorials.

 

So I try to stand up, nope, worse than before. Now I’m hobbling like a 90-year-old noodle vendor who has just fallen down into the klong. The chiropractor pats me on the back (cheers, mate), tells me I'll feel much better in the morning after rubbing one out, a good night's sleep and suggests I book another session with him next week.

 

So there I am, completely battered, walking back out into the sub-sois of BuaKhao, my wallet is lighter by 11,000 baht and with a back that clicks every time I inhale. 

 

Well, a lesser man would admit defeat, but not me. No, I do what any self-respecting, cash millionaire would do after an experience like that. I limp my way to the nearest beer bar, order a large whiskey soda, and pray that I wake up tomorrow with my spine still intact.

 

Moral of the story, lads? If you’re gonna play, don't pull any fancy contortionist stunts. And if you’re gonna throw your back out, at least make sure it’s with a strong enough prozzie who’ll carry you out the room when all goes tits up.

 

Best regards,

The Original Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool?  Answer:  Bob.

[J Branche]

Yes, some idiot claiming he has all this wealth and then talks about getting on a "Baht Bus" and going to a regular "Clinic' instead of a private hospital.

 

 

[Harrisfan]

1 minute ago, J Branche said:

Yes, some idiot claiming he has all this wealth and then talks about getting on a "Baht Bus" and going to a regular "Clinic' instead of a private hospital.

 

 

You took him seriously 

[Lacessit]

I am wondering if Bob's back would be better protected by him receiving than giving.

[Ralf001]

Just now, Lacessit said:

I am wondering if Bob's back would be better protected by him receiving than giving.

 

Its ironic given he comes across as a spineless chap..

[BigLek]

52 minutes ago, J Branche said:

Yes, some idiot claiming he has all this wealth and then talks about getting on a "Baht Bus" and going to a regular "Clinic' instead of a private hospital.

 

 

Sounds like it was an emergency situation. 

[scorecard]

On 2/20/2025 at 5:28 AM, HappyExpat57 said:

You DO realize he's not the one actually writing the words, yes?  The author would be Skynet.

 

Does Bob have a visa for Skynet?