British Man's Urgent Plea to Save Dying Father in Thailand

[impulse]

18 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

What's wrong with asking for money to help in an emergency situation, no one is being forced, are they?

 

Not to mention that there are corporate jets and private planes departing BKK and DMK (and others) every day with empty seats.  Some of them sponsor Angel Flight programs where they offer the seats to patients that need to travel for treatment.  But they can't make the offer if they don't know the need.

 

Ya don't ask, ya don't get.

 

[Rickman66]

3 hours ago, Baba Naba said:

Just in case anyone is interested....

 

 

Not looking good 

[newbee2022]

25 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

What's wrong with asking for money to help in an emergency situation, no one is being forced, are they?

You missed the point, sorry

[couchpotato]

5 minutes ago, robz said:

 

Terrible, right, that has to happen immediately.

 

A foot like that doesn't happen overnight, so it shouldn't have ever got to this stage. This is gross negligence by his caregivers.  Whoever they are, they should be ashamed of themselves.

[newbee2022]

28 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

No one is grabbing your money, or anyone else's.

You missed the point, sorry

[Captain Flack]

A post commenting on moderation has been removed.

 

@Rickman66 I suggest you read the forum rules before you end up with a warning.

 

The full rules are here

 

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There is absolutely no excuse for abusive behavior.

 

 

 

[newbee2022]

38 minutes ago, connda said:

"He came to Thailand for retirement? Could have saved 300£/month easily.

This would be now enough (40.000£ probably) to take a fly wherever he wants."

He wouldn't have to.  Med-Evacuation insurance costs between 300 to 600 GBP annually.  Like I said, people come here and don't plan. If I lived in a country with socialized medicine and chose to retire in a place like Thailand, I'd definitely have Med-Evacuation insurance in order to get me back to my home for medical care if I thought local health care was  substandard or if I had no other means of insurance.  Really.... elderly folk who have chose to retire here... a serous question for you: if you really believe Thai health care is substandard - why the hell are you living here in the first place!  What's your plan if you need "quality health care."   You should have either stayed home where you can receive what you perceive as top-tiered health care, or you should have retired to a place where there is - in your own mind - top-tiered health care. By the way, I consider the health care here to be very good even in the government hospitals. 

I should probably start an AseanNow poll.  I'd really like to know how many AN members have actually seriously planned for major health care needs, especially their own eventually demise and the care they will need during the process of their body breaking down and dying.  That would be an interesting poll. Knowing Westerner's aversion to death and dying in general, I'd bet most just ignore it.

Here's some interesting questions to ponder from our beloved Expat Community:
First - how many of the elderly expat retirees here ignore the fact they will eventually die?
Second - how many of the elderly expat retirees here ignore the fact that their body will eventually get sick, deteriorate, and die?
Third - how many of the elderly expat retirees here have a plan to handle their eventual sickness and then death?
Fourth - for those who come from a country with socialize medicine, how many purchase annual Med-Evac insurance to get them back home instead of waiting for the inevitable and then starting a GoFundMe page instead - or - have an insurance policy with a Med-Evac rider?
Fifth - do you actually believe it's your foreign office and embassy's responsibility to help assist you solve your health care emergencies when you failed to do the due diligence and plan for them yourself?

Perfect comment. Thanks

[Baba Naba]

35 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

The cost of a medical evacuation flight, as the OP clearly stated.

No need for an evac! He could easily fly commercial with an assistant.

[crazykopite]

3 hours ago, NoDisplayName said:

 

His son moved to Thailand in 2017, works in "finance."

His father moved to Pattaya last May, along with his wife, to live with the son.

Recently diagnosed with Diabetes and Addisons.

Son quit his job to act as caregiver.

Why quit a well paid job there are many competent Thais both male and female who would be more than happy to take care of him for a very reasonable salary and what about his wife is she incapable of helping !

[Liverpool Lou]

5 minutes ago, Baba Naba said:

41 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

The cost of a medical evacuation flight, as the OP clearly stated.

No need for an evac! He could easily fly commercial with an assistant.

How could you ever know that?   Which airline has agreed to take him as a passenger?

[Liverpool Lou]

12 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

You missed the point, sorry

Apology accepted.  Your post had a point?

[1happykamper]

The foot infection is unfortunate. But things don't spiral out of control with some basic care. Which I'm guessing the dad never did. His 77 years is a pretty good innings for someone that didn't take care of themselves. 

 

Time for the son to come to Thailand for £1k and say goodbye to dad 🙏

[Liverpool Lou]

15 minutes ago, newbee2022 said:

40 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

What's wrong with asking for money to help in an emergency situation, no one is being forced, are they?

You missed the point, sorry

Apology accepted.  Your post had a point?

[simon43]

3 hours ago, Baba Naba said:

Just in case anyone is interested....

 

 

Well, he's got more fat and muscle on him than my 18 year old Thai niece who died in my arms of TB - she weighed 19 Kg... 😞

[connda]

4 hours ago, damo1967 said:

xactly... the father's insurance should cover some costs etc.  If he has no insurance, then it is plain wrong to set up a fundraiser... 100% WRONG!

No it's not. It's voluntary. No one is force to contribute.  Those who wish to, can.  Those who choose not to, don't have to. Nothing "right" or "wrong" about it. 

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

The guy looks like death already.  Why even medevac him?  Get him back and he dies?  Can't they treat those ailments here?

Of course they can. The son imagines that if he goes back to the UK he'll magically get better.

 

Life doesn't come with any guarantees, and sometimes one has to accept that things will not get better.

 

I suppose I have a different viewpoint having dealt with dying people for decades, but someone needs to give him the facts of life. His father chose to move to Thailand, so it's his choice to die there too, else he'd have had enough money put aside to be evacuated, or have a proper insurance policy.

[thaibeachlovers]

36 minutes ago, robz said:

 

Terrible, right, that amputation has to happen immediately.

Every hospital (especially public ones) is obligated to provide assistance in life-threatening emergencies – even without immediate payment.

 

I just saw that photo and I'm shocked that it was allowed to get to that stage. If he doesn't get it amputated it's probably going to kill him anyway.

 

13 minutes ago, 1happykamper said:

The foot infection is unfortunate. But things don't spiral out of control with some basic care. Which I'm guessing the dad never did. His 77 years is a pretty good innings for someone that didn't take care of themselves. 

 

Time for the son to come to Thailand for £1k and say goodbye to dad 🙏

I worked on an orthopaedic ward, and we had diabetic patients getting bits of their legs amputated, so forget about "basic care" saving the leg. They'd start at the toes, then part of the foot, then the lower calf, upper calf, above the knee and so on. If I ever get to that stage I'm telling them to go above the knee straight off. My mother lost her leg to diabetes. It didn't save her for very long though.

[connda]

4 hours ago, kingstonkid said:

Addisons is not something that blows up in one day Bang you have addison.

Diabetes is linked to foot ulcers which can have a high degree of morbidity. This is not rare.  For those who argue that his guy needed health insurance, my guess is that he couldn't obtain health insurance given his age and his diabetes.  But - he could have opted for Med-Evac insurance if the need arose.  Well, he didn't and his son will be bankrupted - maybe.  GFM may keep him on his feet after dad passes away. 

"Diabetic foot ulcers (DFU) are a major source of preventable morbidity in adults with diabetes. Consequences of foot ulcers include decline in functional status, infection, hospitalization, lower-extremity amputation, and death. The lifetime risk of foot ulcer is 19% to 34%, and this number is rising with increased longevity and medical complexity of people with diabetes. Morbidity following incident ulceration is high, with recurrence rates of 65% at 3–5 years, lifetime lower-extremity amputation incidence of 20%, and 5-year mortality of 50–70%." 

https://diabetesjournals.org/care/article/46/1/209/148198/Etiology-Epidemiology-and-Disparities-in-the

[thaibeachlovers]

24 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

How could you ever know that?   Which airline has agreed to take him as a passenger?

I reckon that the check in staff would take one look and deny him travel as an ordinary patient. They don't want passengers dying during the flight.

[quake]

15 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Life doesn't come with any guarantees, and sometimes one has to accept that things will not get better.

 

That should be pinned on the insurance thread.

But some how don't think that will happen. 

[thaibeachlovers]

30 minutes ago, crazykopite said:

Why quit a well paid job there are many competent Thais both male and female who would be more than happy to take care of him for a very reasonable salary and what about his wife is she incapable of helping !

If his wife is the same age I pretty much guarantee she won't be able to be a caretaker.

[thaibeachlovers]

44 minutes ago, couchpotato said:

A foot like that doesn't happen overnight, so it shouldn't have ever got to this stage. This is gross negligence by his caregivers.  Whoever they are, they should be ashamed of themselves.

Perhaps he didn't have any caregivers, and his son was too busy to notice till too late. You don't know what was going on in the home.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, connda said:

I should probably start an AseanNow poll.  I'd really like to know how many AN members have actually seriously planned for major health care needs, especially their own eventually demise and the care they will need during the process of their body breaking down and dying.  That would be an interesting poll. Knowing Westerner's aversion to death and dying in general, I'd bet most just ignore it.

I had insurance till I couldn't afford both insurance and visa money in the bank, which is when I made the only choice possible and returned to home country.

 

Of course, being a nurse I knew all about dying, and not something I wanted to do in a Thai government hospital. My wife had to sleep under her mother's bed to care for her while in hospital. Nurses don't do patient care.

[newbee2022]

42 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Apology accepted.  Your post had a point?

Yes, your doesn't 

[connda]

4 hours ago, Gaccha said:

"As things move forward following Friday's earthquake in Bangkok, things have also continued to be delayed in acquiring an answer from the UK embassy with regard to whether my dad would receive the care needed on arrival back in the UK on time and there is a concern over NHS waiting lists. The last thing I would want for him is to be repatriated back there, only to find he would be waiting for a year for treatment.

Like I said in a previous post, for all of the rhetoric about Thailand having "substandard care" and the UK and the West having "the best care in the world" - the reality is that the elderly gent will probably die while waiting for the NHS care. 
As long as he is here in Thailand, he could receive care at a university teaching hospital associated with a Thai university, like Maharaj in Chiang Mai, where he'd receive care overseen by some of the best doctors in Thailand who are professors in those universities. But if they wish to throw shade to Thai health care (like a whole lot of expats here do frequently)  and opt for "The Best Health Care In The World," in the UK, then don't complain when the old fellow dies of bureaucratic neglect while waiting for NHS care.

I don't want to seem uncaring because I'm not.  If that was me?  Honestly, it's time to get your affairs in order to prepare yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to "check out" as gracefully as possible.  The son should spend the money for a room at the closest thing to a hospice in Thailand like Dok Kaew Center in Chiang Mai.  His father is near death.  The son's, and prehaps the father as well, problem is they can't accept the reality of the situation.
Acceptance is what is needed, not a trip back to the UK. 

Anicca.  Birth, youth, middle age, old age, sickness, death.  There in no hiding from it. That's the way of it. Acceptance.🙏🙏🙏

[Liverpool Lou]

Just now, newbee2022 said:

44 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Apology accepted.  Your post had a point?

Yes, your doesn't 

My what doesn't what?

[gravity101]

6 hours ago, Scouse123 said:

 

I most certainly don't.

 

It's BEGGING.

 

We in my family, were brought up differently.

Gofundme wasn't designed for begging, don't blame the website. I've given for various good causes/reasons.

[couchpotato]

19 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Perhaps he didn't have any caregivers, and his son was too busy to notice till too late. You don't know what was going on in the home.

So the son was too busy before, but now all of a sudden he has a conscience. He should have dealt with this much sooner.

As I posted earlier, it is gross negligence for this man's condition to be this bad. It is shameful.

[Liverpool Lou]

2 minutes ago, gravity101 said:

Gofundme wasn't designed for begging

Yes, it was.

[newbee2022]

1 minute ago, Liverpool Lou said:

My what doesn't what?

You like obviously the bickering way.  I don't. Look for a fool for your games. It's not me.