Settled on 20K With My Lovely Bubble-Tea Gal – Fair Deal or Digging a Deeper Hole?

[2long]

I'm bedazzled why anyone would want to share their personal life to strangers like this. Especially considering the content. Paid-for love... until the money runs out.

Is it in hope of justification from others in a similar (sad) state of affairs?

Could it be for attention?

 

Weird to say the least!

[JakeC]

Quote

Don't be ridiculous, he's not buying a sex machine. You're comparing with whores. But you should be comparing with what the market actually offers, and these girls can earn 9000 to 15000 selling bubble tea, that's a normal salary. 

 

Why should he pay more than she could make working full time? That would be crazy.

 

No, you have to look at the market. Even a girl working full time in a factory makes 9000 baht. So he's clearly overpaying. She's getting a privilege after all, entering his affluent lifestyle, care and affection, gifts.

 

Same same...not different. You are trying to separate prostitution and whoring....unsuccessfully. Your 'girls' are also selling themselves. For apartment rental reimbursement, plus 'gifts' and 'lifestyle' as you put it. But you tell yourself that form of prostitution is different from 'whoring'. Somehow salves your ego.

[FriscoKid]

12 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Don't be ridiculous, he's not buying a sex machine. You're comparing with whores. But you should be comparing with what the market actually offers, and these girls can earn 9000 to 15000 selling bubble tea, that's a normal salary. 

 

Why should he pay more than she could make working full time? That would be crazy.

 

No, you have to look at the market. Even a girl working full time in a factory makes 9000 baht. So he's clearly overpaying. She's getting a privilege after all, entering his affluent lifestyle, care and affection, gifts.

Forget about what she's making now or what she would get paid in a factory. That's not the point. She's gobbling his sweaty knob now. So she wants a salary increase. And he's getting an upgrade too because he no longer has to do a selfie every night alone. So my financial analysis makes a lot of sense. It's a bargain for him and a good deal for her! Everyone is happy. That's what counts.

[VocalNeal]

2 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection,

 

2 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

I think you have already answered your own question.

 

If she was clever and in it for the long term she would have been happy with you simply paying for dinners. 

 

But family pressure does come into it and maybe you can prevent her going to where the pay is better?  Many are called, few are chosen.

[JakeC]

I think one or two here are slowly waking up to the fact that the OP is Trolling them...in particular.

[hotandsticky]

3 minutes ago, JakeC said:

I think one or two here are slowly waking up to the fact that the OP is Trolling them...in particular.

 

 

...and that slowness beggars belief

[TedG]

3 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own).

 

I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful.

 

We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself.

 

That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. 

 

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then.

 

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

Is this Poe’s law? 

[safarimike11]

3 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own).

 

I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful.

 

We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself.

 

That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. 

 

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then.

 

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

 

[safarimike11]

Just now, safarimike11 said:

 

10k per month at last count.

[Cameroni]

46 minutes ago, FriscoKid said:

Forget about what she's making now or what she would get paid in a factory. That's not the point. She's gobbling his sweaty knob now. So she wants a salary increase. And he's getting an upgrade too because he no longer has to do a selfie every night alone. So my financial analysis makes a lot of sense. It's a bargain for him and a good deal for her!

 

It's a good deal for her for sure. She doubles her salary, gets gifts, access to an affluent lifestyle and a lot more. Free dinners, free housing.

 

IT's not a good deal for him though. Yes, he gets sex. But sex is easily had these days. Not hard to get. If he wants it once a week that's 8000 per month.

 

And we don't know how good the sex is. Is she enthusiastic, a real participant and eager to please? If so, then she deserves more clearly, but we don't know that. 

 

Plus he takes on a walking liability, at any time she could tell him "I need dental work", "my mother has to go to hospital"..."my father needs a power tool" things along those lines. They will never stick to what is agreed, there is always emergencies that appear.

 

And her value just goes down, as she gets older, but when she hits 40 plus he'll still have to pay 20000. Over time she will appear less good looking to him, as he gets used to her.

 

10 to 15000 would be generous at this point.

[SoCal1990]

54 minutes ago, 2long said:

I'm bedazzled why anyone would want to share their personal life to strangers like this. Especially considering the content. Paid-for love... until the money runs out.

Is it in hope of justification from others in a similar (sad) state of affairs?

Could it be for attention?

 

Weird to say the least!

So says the guy who starts topics about Nana go-go bars. 

[2long]

1 minute ago, SoCal1990 said:

So says the guy who starts topics about Nana go-go bars. 

Not quite the same, but I take off to you, sir.

[SoCal1990]

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

"my father needs a power tool"

Lol. Did you mean her father is a power tool? 

[connda]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Should have paid 10kbht/month plus 1kbht tip every time you bang her.

Consider it performance related pay .........

And it'll stop her avoiding sex, which is a general problem for many men in LTRs.

BritManToo - You should write a book: Tips For Horny Farangs Planning To Bang A Babe In Thailand

[Cameroni]

Just now, connda said:

BritManToo - You should write a book: Tips For Horny Farangs Planning To Bang A Babe In Thailand

 

I was impressed too. Excellent advice. Performance incentives.

[BangkokReady]

4 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question.

 

Well, you're paying her to be in a relationship with you, so that might give you a clue...

[BangkokReady]

56 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

And her value just goes down, as she gets older, but when she hits 40 plus he'll still have to pay 20000. Over time she will appear less good looking to him, as he gets used to her.

 

Then he can renegotiate, or replace her.  Surely that's the benefit of paying a woman a salary to be with you?

[Hellfire]

Deleted

[Yagoda]

15 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

Don't be ridiculous, he's not buying a sex machine. You're comparing with whores. But you should be comparing with what the market actually offers, and these girls can earn 9000 to 15000 selling bubble tea, that's a normal salary. 

 

Why should he pay more than she could make working full time? That would be crazy.

 

No, you have to look at the market. Even a girl working full time in a factory makes 9000 baht. So he's clearly overpaying. She's getting a privilege after all, entering his affluent lifestyle, care and affection, gifts.

20,000 divided by 30 is about 600B per day. Cheaper than Kasalong or Wood Bar. Bring her a cup of coffee in the morning while she is luxuriating in your AC and your clean sheets and unzip for her brekkie. Get your moneys worth

[ronnie50]

I also think this is a troll post. The OP never responds to either of his posts. Suggest Mods have a look

[Ralf001]

2 minutes ago, ronnie50 said:

I also think this is a troll post. The OP never responds to either of his posts. Suggest Mods have a look

 

It is typical of bob to make these posts when he is drunk... forgets which user ID he used hence zero follow up.

 

[FriscoKid]

16 minutes ago, ronnie50 said:

I also think this is a troll post. The OP never responds to either of his posts. Suggest Mods have a look

Pretty much everything in The Pub is banter and bullsh*t, that’s the whole point. You don’t come here for a reality check or to unlock the secrets of the universe. It’s just digital locker room talk. Anything goes as long as it doesn’t violate TOS. Fact, fiction, fantasy, it’s all fair game, not trolling. If you haven’t clocked that by now, you’re in the wrong room, bro.

[FritsSikkink]

20 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own).

 

I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful.

 

We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself.

 

That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. 

 

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then.

 

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

You are hiring a girl to be with you, up to you how much you want to pay.

[Kinok Farang]

Exciting when you first come here isn't it?

[Gottfrid]

20 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

As already pointed out it´s your money. If you have no problem with the amount, then you should just go on and test the water. Time will tell if you could swim, or needed to learn. 😉 

You can always discuss the amount. in this case, I would say it´s a bit much. Not a huge amount by any means, but it should be enough with half. As I see it, you will pay for rent, electricity and stuff like that? Maybe I am wrong, but that also has a value. After you will probably take her out eating and now and then give her things. she has drawn a winning ticket for sure. If you have? Yes, if it is genuine and she only want to have the possibility to give her family a good life. Yeah, then great. Your chances, though. I would say 50/50 based on your story. If we heard her story, maybe the number would be different.

Anyway, not much money. In my opinion, you should definitely try it out. I wish you good luck, and sincerely hope you get it. 

[Gottfrid]

19 hours ago, BritManToo said:

And it'll stop her avoiding sex, which is a general problem for many men in LTRs.

Sounds like a person of experience. 😂

[Gottfrid]

19 hours ago, VictorInBKK said:

Sounds like prostitution to me. Neither of you care about each other nor about yourselves. Enjoy if that's the best you think you can aim for!

Now explain where the prostitution is?

[Kinok Farang]

20 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own).

 

I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful.

 

We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself.

 

That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. 

 

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then.

 

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

If i gave my missus 30 thousand a month that would leave me with about 4,000 baht to pay my rent,bills and food from my English pension,so 30,000 is a lot to some old lads here.

[Kinok Farang]

20 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own).

 

I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful.

 

We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself.

 

That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. 

 

She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then.

 

Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. 

 

Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

If i gave my missus 30 thousand a month that would leave me with about 4,000 baht to pay my rent,bills and food from my English pension,so 30,000 is a lot to some old lads here.

[ignore it]

You did get on demand nookie right?

 

You ought to think of just giving her 600-700 a shag.

 

Paying up front not advised, pay at the end of the month.