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Posted

Alright, picture this, mates. Down in Patts and you’ve pulled not one but two absolute bump-and-grind rockets. Things are hotter than a microwave kebab at midnight. Clothes flying off like they owe gravity money, tongues doing laps, and your todger’s been on more missions than the space shuttle.

 

Fast forward two hours of full-throttle graft on the giblets and somehow… still no fireworks. The big finale? AWOL. Everyone’s all smiles though, no hard feelings, but you tap out and call it.

 

So what’s the next proper move, lads? Do you rally like a champ, hit the haunts and scoop up two more gobblers for round two? Or head back to the wee gaff alone, line up something top shelf online, and finish the job solo?

 

Only asking for a mate. Obviously!

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Posted
8 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Take Cialis. Sidegra is not working.

 

Or get a new nom-de-plume, such as limpdick


Thats doesn't sound like the issue. The gun seems to be loading, just not firing. 

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Posted
3 minutes ago, short-Timer said:


Thats doesn't sound like the issue. The gun seems to be loading, just not firing. 

Perhaps there's no bullets in the magazine due to previous firings.

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Posted
1 hour ago, frank83628 said:

Since when does someone 'pull' a kooker?

yesterday I entered Tesco and smuggled put a whole salmon under my shirt. The cashier smiled at me as I walked thru. I then proceeded to a hairdressers and seduced a girl into washing my hair and then sweet talked her into cutting it. Leaving we were both happy.

Obviously I paid  both times and got receipts and everything but you know what I mean.

Posted

Long, long ago a mate, who was known as "Bonking Bob" (for fairly obvious reasons), had a saying :- "Thai girls - take two they're small".

 

Bob is now happily retired in Malta with his rather lovely Maltese wife.

 

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"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

Posted
7 hours ago, Lewie London said:

Alright, picture this, mates. Down in Patts and you’ve pulled not one but two absolute bump-and-grind rockets. Things are hotter than a microwave kebab at midnight. Clothes flying off like they owe gravity money, tongues doing laps, and your todger’s been on more missions than the space shuttle.

 

Fast forward two hours of full-throttle graft on the giblets and somehow… still no fireworks. The big finale? AWOL. Everyone’s all smiles though, no hard feelings, but you tap out and call it.

 

So what’s the next proper move, lads? Do you rally like a champ, hit the haunts and scoop up two more gobblers for round two? Or head back to the wee gaff alone, line up something top shelf online, and finish the job solo?

 

Only asking for a mate. Obviously!

What is your question? Do you need help?

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Posted
1 hour ago, Crossy said:

Long, long ago a mate, who was known as "Bonking Bob" (for fairly obvious reasons), had a saying :- "Thai girls - take two they're small".


And back when "Bonking Bob" was in his Thai bonking prime, the cost of such adventures was so low that it was considered cruel not to take more than one. 😂

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Posted
10 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

I don't understand what you're heading for?

You have got to be a Brit to understand just what this guy is saying. I searched Google but cannot find a Brit to American translation app. Someone from England, please translate for us. 

Posted
18 minutes ago, Keep Right said:

You have got to be a Brit to understand just what this guy is saying. I searched Google but cannot find a Brit to American translation app. Someone from England, please translate for us. 

Yes, please 🙏

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