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Neville Comes for a Cheeky Holiday: Instant Karma, Pride in Pieces, Mates
So I gets this random text around 6PM, out the blue, it’s Neville from Norwich. You know the one, bit of a knob when he’s on the piss, but harmless with it. Normally only shows his mug in Patts around Christmas, when the weather back home’s colder than his ex-wife’s wizard sleeves. But here he is, middle of summer, decided he missed the smell of rank fermented fish, overripe durian, and cheap perfume too much to wait for December. “Lewie, mate. Bevies on me. Down BuaKhao. You know the gaff. Get your arse over here.” Fair play, I think. Ain’t seen him in a while, might as well humour the lad. So I rock up to this little beer bar halfway down the soi. A bit of a tired and dusty joint, but his fave for some reason. Place with the fairy lights that don’t work and them plastic chairs that collapse if you breathe on ‘em wrong. And there he is, Neville. Leo in one hand, cigarette in the other, dressed a bit like a Pokémon fruitcake, lookin’ like a tourist brochure for ‘Small town bloke makes wrong decision to leave Blighty.’ But here’s the real twist, he’s flanked on both sides by two absolute units. Not women. Nah. Straight-up ladyboys. And I don’t mean the ones where you have to squint to tell. I’m talkin’ six-footers, one with a crotch bulge like a shepherd’s pie. He’s sittin’ there like the tofu in the center of a suspicious roast beef sandwich, grinnin’ like he’s just won the raffle at the working men’s club. I sit down, give him the look, you know the one, raised eyebrow, tilt of the head, silent: “Mate… seriously?” He clocks it. “What? What you givin’ me that look for, bruv?” I lean in, keep it polite, keep it down low. “Neville, mate… you do realise them two ain’t exactly regular, natural born girls and that, yeah?” He laughs it off, waving his beer around like Churchill addressing the troops. “Don’t be daft, Lew. Just tall birds, innit. Models or summat. Lucky me.” Models. Right. Page three of the Bangkok Post maybe. I tried, I really did. Gave him the whole gentle breakdown, the “Look at the feet, mate” routine. Even pointed out the Adam’s apple on the one like a biology teacher doin’ revision. Suggested he do a bit of a feel under the hood on that one with the hefty package. But no, he weren’t havin’ any of it. Fully committed to the dream. You could see it in his eyes, he thought he was about to live out some kind of tropical "Man With The Golden Gun" fantasy. I finish my drink, tell him I’ll catch him tomorrow, and make my exit before it turns into something out of them Channel Five documentaries. Went down the road, grabbed myself a couple of pizza slices, nice and simple. Here’s the punchline. One in the morning, my phone buzzes again. Message from Neville. “A meat and two veg. You were right mate.” Sausage emoji. Pint glass emoji. Sad face emoji. Didn’t even reply. Just stared at it like someone who’s watched their team lose on penalties again. But that ain’t even the best bit. He rings me this mornin'. Turns out, back at his hotel, them two cleaned him right out. No violence, no drama, just polite like. Mini bar, emptied. That litre of Glen Fiddich he’d brought over from Blighty, gone. Four Leos, two cans of Coke, three packets of overpriced Pringles, and that big Toblerone that’s been gatherin’ dust in the fridge since Songkran. Not stolen, just all consumed, like two scaffolders on a tea break. And him sittin’ there, wallet on empty, hungover, and full of regret, starin’ at the minibar price list like it’s his final exam paper. So that’s Neville’s big summer holiday first-night sorted. Arrives in the hub of cocks in frocks, unexpectedly went for a wander on the wild side, dignity shattered, minibar destroyed. See you at Christmas, mate. Pattaya — undefeated. -
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Tourist METV Usage Question up to 269 Days
Yes it's clear you understand how a visa works. It has an issue date and enter by "until date" So for a single entry eg Non O it has a period (90 days) that you can used it to enter Thailand. Even if you entered on last "untill date" You would be stamped in for 90 days. You visa is a multi entry. Yes by applying tad early you miss out on max period possible in Thailand. Being multi entry you receive a 60 day stamp every entry while visa is valid. By entering Thailand Dec 13 or prior (I would do min Dec 12) you will be stamped in for 60 days. As you are aware you can also obtain 30 day extension to the 60 for 1900b -
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Some Trumpers rebelling over Trump's support of Israel's Iran strikes
I take that as a compliment,thanks. -
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why always thai women pay at the cashier?
I have only understood that your Thai wife has access to your money and she pays everything using your money. I have never did that -
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'Very insulted': Trump tells G7 members they've hurt Putin's feelings
The power was given to him freely by a majority of voters in the US who couldn’t see though his lies but the rest of the world has to bear witness to his ranting nonsense or switch off all forms of news media. I hate turning on the TV even because I know I’m inevitably gonna see and hear the vile egomaniac! -
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Some Trumpers rebelling over Trump's support of Israel's Iran strikes
Yes ,sorry ,i do mean Taiwan.Thanks for correcting.
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