Beautiful Girl, Beautiful Tattoos, Absolute 7-Eleven Train-Wreck

[Lewie London]

So there I am, late last night, just nipped down that little 7-Eleven halfway up BuaKhao, close to the big roadway bend, the one with the dodgy sliding door and the even dodgier hot dogs. Just needed to restock some water, maybe grab a toastie and a packet of crisps, windin’ down the night like a civilised geezer, yeah. Been a long one already, just wanted to rehydrate, go home, put on a bit of YouTube, and call it a night.

 

Next thing, in she stumbles. Out of nowhere. And I mean proper tidy too. Not your usual Pattaya bar girl look, nah, this one had style. Bit of class about her. Tall, slim, lighter skin, wearing one of them little black tops that barely counted as a shirt, back all exposed, and what do I see? Full body ink. But not that tramp-stamp rubbish or that cheap bar-girl butterfly nonsense. Nah, this was proper Japanese work, beautiful koi fish, cherry blossoms, full sleeves rollin’ down her arms, bits of dragon scales pokin’ out here and there. Real artwork, looked like she’d been inked by someone who knew their needles from their elbows.

 

But, and here’s the deal breaker, she’s absolutely mullered. You could smell the vodka coming off her like a petrol station on a hot day. Lipstick smudged, mascara halfway down her cheeks, high heels clackin’ about like a newborn giraffe. And she’s on me like I’m the only exit in a house fire. Starts with the old “You no habb girlfriend, law? Where you go now? You want go disco with me?” Givin’ it the big eyes and all that, hoping to withdraw some cash from my wallet obviously, swayin’ like a palm tree in a storm.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, fifteen years ago I might’ve thought I’d won the lottery and wouldn't a-minded paying the freight-fee. But these days? Nah mate, I know this game. Drunk girls are pure chaos in a bottle of extra-spicy trouble-sauce. One minute they’re running smooth like a Ferrari right after a fresh tune, next minute they’re cryin’ like someone's kicked their dog in the bell-end, then someone’s callin’ the police and suddenly your photo’s all over AseanNow getting slacked-off with a headline like “Foreigner Arrested in 7-Eleven Brawl Over Tattooed Beauty.”

 

Meanwhile the staff behind the till are watchin’ like it’s prime time telly. Givin' them a right giggle, innit. I can already see them uploadin’ this CCTV clip with a TikTok song underneath. Not today, Satan.

 

I gave her the polite smile, did the gentle step-back, grabbed me stuff like it was a hostage rescue, paid up, and walked out cool as you like. Left her there swipin’ through her phone, probably lining up the next mug to come walking through the door.

 

Mates, beautiful tattoos, proper art, but wrapped around a bottle of absolute trouble. Glad I dodged that bullet. Night saved. Pattaya, you mad old cow, you nearly had me again.

[BritManToo]

More wordy fantasy!

Down Voted.

[ricklev]

4 minutes ago, Lewie London said:

So there I am, late last night, just nipped down that little 7-Eleven halfway up BuaKhao, close to the big roadway bend, the one with the dodgy sliding door and the even dodgier hot dogs. Just needed to restock some water, maybe grab a toastie and a packet of crisps, windin’ down the night like a civilised geezer, yeah. Been a long one already, just wanted to rehydrate, go home, put on a bit of YouTube, and call it a night.

 

Next thing, in she stumbles. Out of nowhere. And I mean proper tidy too. Not your usual Pattaya bar girl look, nah, this one had style. Bit of class about her. Tall, slim, lighter skin, wearing one of them little black tops that barely counted as a shirt, back all exposed, and what do I see? Full body ink. But not that tramp-stamp rubbish or that cheap bar-girl butterfly nonsense. Nah, this was proper Japanese work, beautiful koi fish, cherry blossoms, full sleeves rollin’ down her arms, bits of dragon scales pokin’ out here and there. Real artwork, looked like she’d been inked by someone who knew their needles from their elbows.

 

But, and here’s the deal breaker, she’s absolutely mullered. You could smell the vodka coming off her like a petrol station on a hot day. Lipstick smudged, mascara halfway down her cheeks, high heels clackin’ about like a newborn giraffe. And she’s on me like I’m the only exit in a house fire. Starts with the old “You no habb girlfriend, law? Where you go now? You want go disco with me?” Givin’ it the big eyes and all that, hoping to withdraw some cash from my wallet obviously, swayin’ like a palm tree in a storm.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, fifteen years ago I might’ve thought I’d won the lottery and wouldn't a-minded paying the freight-fee. But these days? Nah mate, I know this game. Drunk girls are pure chaos in a bottle of extra-spicy trouble-sauce. One minute they’re running smooth like a Ferrari right after a fresh tune, next minute they’re cryin’ like someone's kicked their dog in the bell-end, then someone’s callin’ the police and suddenly your photo’s all over AseanNow getting slacked-off with a headline like “Foreigner Arrested in 7-Eleven Brawl Over Tattooed Beauty.”

 

Meanwhile the staff behind the till are watchin’ like it’s prime time telly. Givin' them a right giggle, innit. I can already see them uploadin’ this CCTV clip with a TikTok song underneath. Not today, Satan.

 

I gave her the polite smile, did the gentle step-back, grabbed me stuff like it was a hostage rescue, paid up, and walked out cool as you like. Left her there swipin’ through her phone, probably lining up the next mug to come walking through the door.

 

Mates, beautiful tattoos, proper art, but wrapped around a bottle of absolute trouble. Glad I dodged that bullet. Night saved. Pattaya, you mad old cow, you nearly had me again.

Keep up the good work.  I enjoyed reading that.  Don't let the bastards get you down.

[Quentin Zen]

At a 7-Eleven in the heart of Pattaya, a tattooed ladyboy named Beam worked the night shift with sharp nails and sharper wit. One steamy evening, a drunk farang stumbled in, shirt stained, belly spilling over his shorts, reeking of sweat and cheap beer. Slurring, he grabbed a beer and tried to walk out without paying. Beam blocked his path with a practiced smile. “You pay or you go,” she said coolly. The farang growled something incoherent and pushed her. That was a mistake. Beam, no stranger to chaos, slammed the alarm button and shoved him back with surprising strength. Security dragged him out minutes later. Beam smirked, fixed her lipstick in the mirror behind the counter, and went back to stacking noodles like nothing happened.

[NanLaew]

57 minutes ago, Lewie London said:

You could smell the vodka coming off her like a petrol station on a hot day.

 

The reason I get mullered on vodka is because they can't smell it on my breath at work.

[save the frogs]

14 hours ago, Lewie London said:

Pattaya, you mad old cow, you nearly had me again

 

YOU sound like a train wreck waiting to happen there, Lewie. 

 

[norsurin]

I meet a really beautiful and stunning sexy lady in Phuket years ago.She wasn't interested going with ne because her bf from Finland was arriving the next day she said.Well, she allowed me to sit with her I bought her some beers and then she asked if i want to join her to a disco..so i did.We had fun there and when it closed we walked hand in hand to my room.Had fun until the afternoon because she had to go to the airport meeting her bf there.She told me to not say hello to her if i meet her and her bf in the streets.I said that's ok.I meet them the next day and her bf was much older then her Actually he looked terrible.Old style clothes and no teeth.I just looked at her but kept my mouth shouth.The next day she came to my hotel again..we had fun again and she asked me if we could meet secret on daily bases.Actually i said no because i dont want a p...that the finnish guy have been inside in before she come to me.I told her i was going to Bangkok and she said ok.After a week she called me and said she and her bf arrived Bangkok and she wanted to see me again.At that time i had a girl staying with me so i declined her request.

About a month later i meet ny exwife from surin.We get married and have 2 kids together.The marriage ended after 11 years.We divorced 8 year ago in my country and after the marriage was annulled in Thailand too.My exwife brought the divorcepapers from my country to Thailand and get it registrated there too I brought my exwife and our kids to my country 18 years ago,..and they still live here.

[proton]

This fake drivel should be put a a stop to surely?

[Sandboxer]

Your AI prompts are actually pretty good~

[Cameroni]

Quote

 Starts with the old “You no habb girlfriend, law? Where you go now? You want go disco with me?” 

 

It's amazing how girls just come up to guys from Aseannow, and ask them out in 711s, golf clubs, it's like they're all Jason Momoa look alikes and not the John Prescott lookalikes one imagines.

[papa al]

prolly LB

[Keeps]

4 minutes ago, papa al said:

prolly LB

I want to agree but how is it possible to agree to a comment regarding a clearly made up story?

 

That would just be foolish....

[CHdiver]

9 hours ago, Lewie London said:

You want go disco with me?

A young Girl, however mullered she may be, would not use the word "Disco". That is so last century. Maybe if you use AI, this little missteps will not happen in your next phantasie story. That said, it was a funny read.

[JAG]

It is so good to know that you have not lost your charm and appeal Bob!

[Ralf001]

9 hours ago, NanLaew said:

 

The reason I get mullered on vodka is because they can't smell it on my breath at work.

 

Same here..... Lewie must have a sniffer dog like nose.................. or just rambling drunken BS.

[gamb00ler]

4 hours ago, proton said:

This fake drivel should be put a a stop to surely?

Flat Earth, killer vaccines, superstar biz man as president...... a little more fiction on AN won't be the end of us.

[hydraides]

Sowwy Mr Dudley, My name not ting tong. - but - tong ting

[Keeps]

19 minutes ago, hydraides said:

Sowwy Mr Dudley, My name not ting tong. - but - tong ting

Ha ha. Can't show that in the UK anymore - very un PC. Luckily, I have it on DVD (just waiting for the Luddite/Grandad comments) so can watch at my leisure.

 

Have certainly seen far worse than Matt Lucas dressed up in most of the major flesh pots of Thailand.