Do Women Change in a Negative Way After Working in the Nightlife Scene?

[SoCal1990]

It’s something I’ve heard said more than a few times, that women who spend enough time working in Thailand’s nightlife scene can never really go back to seeing male–female relationships in the same humanistic way again.

 

After a certain point, some say they stop viewing men as people and start seeing them purely as wallets. Acts of genuine care or generosity expressed by a man aren’t seen as kindness anymore, but as obligations, or even just opportunities to extract more from a man. Manipulation becomes a skill, and emotional connection starts to feel irrelevant.

 

There’s also the idea that after being with a large number of men, purely as a business transaction, that something shifts in them mentally. That it changes how they view sex, intimacy, and even themselves. That the line between affection and performance blurs so much, they eventually lose track of what’s real and can never recover from having turned into some form of emotionally damaged goods. 

 

Maybe it’s just an undeserved stereotype used to shame women in the industry, or maybe there’s an uncomfortable truth buried within there. But is it even fair to blame them? Or is it just a consequence of doing what they had to do to survive in a system that rewards them for being that way?

[Hummin]

Interesting, I have met many men who lives in the more tourist infested places in Thailand, who stopped seeing women as humans. 

 

So back to your question, the more these ladies meet these fine men, the less they think of men in a good way. 

 

Many girls are broken before they, Attend the scene, but It is understandable a lot more will brake down being used and abused for money. 

 

Same goes for ladies as men who frequently use other people, some is genuine good, while others if not bad from the beginning, they becomes dehumanized 

[freedomnow]

RETRACTED claim.

[Sir Dude]

Well OP, I'll give you the answer for many even if some think you are not a real poster. Have you never heard of the old adage "You can take a girl out of a bar but you can't take the bar out of a girl"? I guess there is a certain amount of time before that applies, and how long they need to work there before it's true, I don't know... anyone's guess is as good as mine. 

However, bar girls are not just exposed to the cynical indifference of the customers, but also the harshness and oppression or the bar owners/police and other bar girls all fighting for the money etc.... a dark employment environment indeed that is not conducive to an optimistic outlook on life and will harden them up quick because it means survival.

Personally, if I ever go to bars (not so much these days), as I enjoy the environment sometimes and I don't bar fine them ever, then I still treat all the women really well, tip, and with humanity... as I know how things really work here in this field of employment for them.

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, freedomnow said:

This poster is an AI bot...just to get members to generate endless threads.

If not Ai, I hope he gets paid well

[norsurin]

To be honest they used to get paid and that will continue if they stop working in a bar etc.

My exwife worked in a bar..and the manager called her everyday ask her to come back.I told her to change her number and she did.After 2 years we get married and had 2 kids together.Anyway i saw that she liked the attention from other men.I brought her and our kids to my country 18 years ago..and i never regret that.That said i meet many girls who's totally addicted to the nightlife and they will not stop before they get so old that nobody wants them anymore.I was in beer garden in Bangkok and i talked with 2 old ladies who still selling themselves but then as freelancers.Their age was 63 and 65.

[save the frogs]

12 hours ago, Sir Dude said:

However, bar girls are not just exposed to the cynical indifference of the customers, but also the harshness and oppression or the bar owners/police and other bar girls all fighting for the money etc.... a dark employment environment indeed that is not conducive to an optimistic outlook on life and will harden them up quick because it means survival.

 

Pretty much most corporate work environments have that to some degree.

Backstabbing competitive colleagues, ruthless bosses .... 

The girls actually are tough. They have survival skills and they know how to survive. 

And that what's it's all about ... survival. 

 

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, norsurin said:

To be honest they used to get paid and that will continue if they stop working in a bar etc.

My exwife worked in a bar..and the manager called her everyday ask her to come back.I told her to change her number and she did.After 2 years we get married and had 2 kids together.Anyway i saw that she liked the attention from other men.I brought her and our kids to my country 18 years ago..and i never regret that.That said i meet many girls who's totally addicted to the nightlife and they will not stop before they get so old that nobody wants them anymore.I was in beer garden in Bangkok and i talked with 2 old ladies who still selling themselves but then as freelancers.Their age was 63 and 65.

Every woman likes attention from others, so do we, nothing wrong about it, as long they not provoking on purpose.

 

And for getting married from being used to have money they controlled themselves, and have to ask for money, I think speaks for itself.

 

Most who met an Asian lady, did not know their expectations, maybe bragged a bit to much about their wealth, and showed off, for later showing their true self, and not be the man they thought he was. 

 

Common mistake among most who comes here on holidays and spends a fortune everytime. 

 

When expectations is not met?

[save the frogs]

11 hours ago, Hummin said:

Every woman likes attention from others, so do we, nothing wrong about it, as long they not provoking on purpose

 

A girl from my last workplace was flirting with every guy in the office. It was an ego trip for many men to like her.

 

And women are doing this on social media. If you post a sexy video on TikTok, then thousands of men are admiring your body. Even though technically it's not prostitution ... but there was a famous actor who broke up with his girlfriend because he didn't like the content she was putting up on social media. 

 

 

[norsurin]

16 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Every woman likes attention from others, so do we, nothing wrong about it, as long they not provoking on purpose.

 

And for getting married from being used to have money they controlled themselves, and have to ask for money, I think speaks for itself.

 

Most who met an Asian lady, did not know their expectations, maybe bragged a bit to much about their wealth, and showed off, for later showing their true self, and not be the man they thought he was. 

 

Common mistake among most who comes here on holidays and spends a fortune everytime. 

 

When expectations is not met?

I understand what u mean.Many guys saving money for long time for a 4 week holiday in Thailand.Spend alot of money and brag about their socalled big money.Some girls believe that and even go abroad to the guys country and on arrival find out that it was just a bs story.I seen that and i feel sorry for the girls who falls for the lies.

 

[Hummin]

15 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

A girl from my last workplace was flirting with every guy in the office. It was an ego trip for many men to like her.

 

And women are doing this on social media. If you post a sexy video on TikTok, then thousands of men are admiring your body. Even though technically it's not prostitution ... but there was a famous actor who broke up with his girlfriend because he didn't like the content she was putting up on social media. 

 

 

Some loves their wife more the more attention they get, while others gets jealous and ruin their both lives.

 

Who are you? If you are a jealous guy, you do not find an extrovert who loves to show off and are above your level by many points.

 

A good thumb or rule, find a woman who will appreciate you for choosing her, and not the other way around. 

 

Beautiful girls who are used to attention, do not stop getting attention because they got a man

[GreasyFingers]

3 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

It’s something I’ve heard said more than a few times, that women who spend enough time working in Thailand’s nightlife scene can never really go back to seeing male–female relationships in the same humanistic way again.

 

After a certain point, some say they stop viewing men as people and start seeing them purely as wallets. Acts of genuine care or generosity expressed by a man aren’t seen as kindness anymore, but as obligations, or even just opportunities to extract more from a man. Manipulation becomes a skill, and emotional connection starts to feel irrelevant.

 

There’s also the idea that after being with a large number of men, purely as a business transaction, that something shifts in them mentally. That it changes how they view sex, intimacy, and even themselves. That the line between affection and performance blurs so much, they eventually lose track of what’s real and can never recover from having turned into some form of emotionally damaged goods. 

 

Maybe it’s just an undeserved stereotype used to shame women in the industry, or maybe there’s an uncomfortable truth buried within there. But is it even fair to blame them? Or is it just a consequence of doing what they had to do to survive in a system that rewards them for being that way?

Are you a Richard Cranium?

[spidermike007]

This topic again. I love experience. Virgins are usually very timid and shy in bed. I have no issues with a good woman who has been with many guys. Most guys tend to be a bit prudish about that kind of thing. Of course the numbers do count for something, beyond a point. There is a limit. LOL. Where is that limit? I have some opinions about the subject. Surprise, surprise!

 

So, how many? Many of us think there is a sort of sliding scale of damage. In my opinion, up to 150 men (some experience), no big deal. Most men like to argue that their gal has only been with a few guys. Yeah, right. Most American women have likely been with 20-200 guys. Despite the answers they give to those taking surveys! 

 

150-500 men (BAB - been around the block), she is experienced, but will likely be fine, if she has a good heart, and a strong mind.

 

500-1000 men (AVEG - a very experienced gal) is approaching the point where there very well might be some long term psychological damage. Likely depends on the woman. 

 

1000-2000 men (ASP - a serious pro), and there is likely to be long term bitterness towards men.

 

2000-6000 men (ATW - around the world) and over, and there is little chance of being able to engage emotionally in a healthy manner, ever again. And there could be physical issues too. There are likely exceptions. But not many. Of course with these kind of numbers you're talking about a gal worked in a brothel in Singapore for a few years, or worked on Soi 6 in Pattaya for a couple of years, that kind of thing. 

 

So, it is my contention that it depends on the numbers, and the heart. The first and most important factor is how many? How many men has she been with? If she is relatively new, and has only gotten with between 20-200 men, more than likely she is still sane, and could possess a good heart. If she has gotten with over 200, the chances decrease. If over 500, harder for her to relate to men as decent human beings. Once you get to the "around the world level", where she has been with over 1,000 men, all bets are off. The heart hardens, and more than likely she is bitter for life. I am sure there are exceptions. But, the risk in getting involved with a highly experienced bar girl, or massage girl, is great.

 

The problem is if you meet a bar girl or a massage girl they all have a story, and those stories are designed to make you sympathetic and designed to make you believe that they have not been at it for a while, and most of them are coached with a great deal of skill. So without hiring a private detective you will likely never know. 

[save the frogs]

12 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

So, it is my contention that it depends on the numbers,

 

1 - where are you getting your numbers from?

 

2 - the divorce rates are high, therefore many/most people lack relationship skills and/or have psychological issues or issues of narcissism or fill in the blank, overly materialistic ... not just girls who have worked as escorts. 

 

[BritManToo]

Some girls are great, some aren't.

Don't think their previous employment have much to do with it.

[Felton Jarvis]

I am surprised at the question. It is fairly well documented that prostitution causes considerable psychic harm to women who choose that path. It would take a very unique woman to rise above the act of selling herself sexually.

[simon43]

6 hours ago, Hummin said:

If not Ai, I hope he gets paid well

I wonder how many of the posters who comment are also AI bots....

 

aseannow - the hub of AI bots 🙂

[Jim Blue]

In my limited experience all the bar girls I ever met started work  just a couple of weeks ago !!

[Hummin]

21 minutes ago, Jim Blue said:

In my limited experience all the bar girls I ever met started work  just a couple of weeks ago !!

Could be true

 

Worked 3 months in Patong

3 months Pattaya

Worked ......

Worked ....

 

Many girls comes and goes, as many times they are taken out of a bar, and the guy who promised to come back, do not pay the bills or comes back, then back to business. After awhile they accept how it is and continue working until someone actually walk the talk

[Kinnock]

Yet another misogynistic fishing thread hoping to attract negativity and clichéd responses from the usual suspects.

 

Does the OP actually know any women, or is he a basement dwelling incel getting his kicks starting threads about bar girls?

[save the frogs]

20 hours ago, Felton Jarvis said:

It is fairly well documented that prostitution causes considerable psychic harm to women who choose that path

 

Documented where? 

[Wingate]

If the lifestyle causes harm, is the greater harm from the many customers she might have, or from the fact she goes home to her Thai boyfriend every night....him not only knowing full well what she does, but happily using some of her earnings to fund his own lifestyle?

 

Add in that for those women whose families know how she earns her money and are constantly demanding more, is that a source of emotional trauma?

 

So, OP, there are two questions:

 

Does the lifestyle cause emotional damage?

 

What is the primary source of that emotional damage for those women who might suffer it?

[save the frogs]

11 hours ago, Wingate said:

Does the lifestyle cause emotional damage?

 

But people can also get "emotionally damaged" from divorce / bad relationships. 

 

I met one girl who started working as a freelancer after her boyfriend cheated on her. The emotional damage began before the freelancing did. 

 

[spidermike007]

13 hours ago, Jim Blue said:

In my limited experience all the bar girls I ever met started work  just a couple of weeks ago !!

They certainly all have a story, many of them have been very well coached, and many of their desperado customers desperately want to believe them. 

[Quentin Zen]

-

[deja vu again]

Here's one for your AI to chew on, SoCal: 

 

All women everywhere that work in a bars love men, and every man that meets them love them too.  And after every short time and every long time they all live happily ever after.  

[short-Timer]

On 7/11/2025 at 5:51 PM, spidermike007 said:

This topic again. I love experience. Virgins are usually very timid and shy in bed. I have no issues with a good woman who has been with many guys. Most guys tend to be a bit prudish about that kind of thing. Of course the numbers do count for something, beyond a point. There is a limit. LOL. Where is that limit? I have some opinions about the subject. Surprise, surprise!

 

So, how many? Many of us think there is a sort of sliding scale of damage. In my opinion, up to 150 men (some experience), no big deal. Most men like to argue that their gal has only been with a few guys. Yeah, right. Most American women have likely been with 20-200 guys. Despite the answers they give to those taking surveys! 

 

150-500 men (BAB - been around the block), she is experienced, but will likely be fine, if she has a good heart, and a strong mind.

 

500-1000 men (AVEG - a very experienced gal) is approaching the point where there very well might be some long term psychological damage. Likely depends on the woman. 

 

1000-2000 men (ASP - a serious pro), and there is likely to be long term bitterness towards men.

 

2000-6000 men (ATW - around the world) and over, and there is little chance of being able to engage emotionally in a healthy manner, ever again. And there could be physical issues too. There are likely exceptions. But not many. Of course with these kind of numbers you're talking about a gal worked in a brothel in Singapore for a few years, or worked on Soi 6 in Pattaya for a couple of years, that kind of thing. 

 

So, it is my contention that it depends on the numbers, and the heart. The first and most important factor is how many? How many men has she been with? If she is relatively new, and has only gotten with between 20-200 men, more than likely she is still sane, and could possess a good heart. If she has gotten with over 200, the chances decrease. If over 500, harder for her to relate to men as decent human beings. Once you get to the "around the world level", where she has been with over 1,000 men, all bets are off. The heart hardens, and more than likely she is bitter for life. I am sure there are exceptions. But, the risk in getting involved with a highly experienced bar girl, or massage girl, is great.

 

The problem is if you meet a bar girl or a massage girl they all have a story, and those stories are designed to make you sympathetic and designed to make you believe that they have not been at it for a while, and most of them are coached with a great deal of skill. So without hiring a private detective you will likely never know. 

Adjusted scoring:

 

50-100 men - (SS - Still Salvageable)

100-200 men - (DG - Damaged Goods)

200-1000 men - (PONR - Point Of No Return)

1000-2000 men - (NLD - No Longer Desirable)

2000-6000 men - (SC - Steer Clear)

6000+ men - (TF - Totally Fooked)

[spidermike007]

7 hours ago, short-Timer said:

Adjusted scoring:

 

50-100 men - (SS - Still Salvageable)

100-200 men - (DG - Damaged Goods)

200-1000 men - (PONR - Point Of No Return)

1000-2000 men - (NLD - No Longer Desirable)

2000-6000 men - (SC - Steer Clear)

6000+ men - (TF - Totally Fooked)

I like it. Creative. Nice one. However I disagree with the 100 to 200. I think you'd be astonished at the number of women who have had over a hundred men, and they're perfectly normal. 

 

That is not a lot, it's just our fake puritanical upbringing that makes us think so. 

[SMIAI]

It's a lot. You are too used to dealing with escorts/prostitutes.

[save the frogs]

11 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I think you'd be astonished at the number of women who have had over a hundred men, and they're perfectly normal. 

 

How would you know that?

Any "normal" woman who has slept with over 100 men (if they even exist) would never admit it to anyone. 

How many hookers have you had a serious relationship with then to know this with any degree of certainty?

Sorry, I'm calling BS on all these statistics.